No energy to run the daycare, should I take energy pills :(

[DisneyPrincess]

Please dont take this post as whining but more desperate and ''cry'' for help !

Since my last episode last Friday of loosing a child at daycare from dispute or misunderstanding with the parents, that really took a toll on me. I see the girl that left all the time since she's just a few houses away, and she looks at me with such a mean look, no smile nothing, she's just 3 y.o. I guess I did do a super bad job with her... she was really really hard to deal with, never happy, barely smiling. All the other kids I've had where always happy and smily. Is it crazy I feel intimidated by a toddler ! I holds the other provider's hand and has if she's saying ''I'm so much better without YOU !'' Yes loosing the finances is pretty darn frustrating, but the daycare is so much more quiet, less stressful without that one. And the three 2 y.o. I have left are no trouble. They are looking for a lot of my attention though and I know thats normal but I feel so out of energy with everything thats happen. I do activities but they loose attention quickly (they yarn, get up to leave, look elsewhere) so I feel that bit of energy I am trying to give is waisted.

Not getting any request for the past weeks is not brighting up my mood either, plus the winter weather bringing me so down, on top of that I have constant lower back pain and neck pain.

Is it a ''time of the season'' typa-thing ?? Its my first full winter at the daycare ! I know by spring time I will get back on track, well I hope so... but its still months away ! What to do until then ??

I dont drink energy drinks, do you ladies know some natural product/vitamines out there that would boost up my energy and me being less boring ?? :(

[kidlove]

i don't think you need "energy" type suppliments because I don't think your energy is low.....I think you are down in the dumps, and stressed. This may sound harsh but (only because I have been where you are I feel I can say this:)) BUCK UP and suck it up! The Kids is not MAD at you, you may be mad at yourself though? You let her down and you can sugar coat it by saying she was a pain, and you are so glad she is gone, and those two statements may be 110% true, but no matter how you slice it...the truth is, you failed. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring, but I have been where you are and you need to snap out of it! That child is gone now, and you have the ones in front of you to care for, put ALL your love and efforts into taking the best care of them as possible and let the other child and family go, you win some you lose some! I don't think you are low on energy as much as you are just dragging yourself down with a little bit of depression over this situation. take a deep breath and LET IT GO! play games have fun with your kids you still have, it sucks having a child go with any kind of negative emotions on either part, BUT it's a part of this job and it's more than likely not the last time it will happen. Stay strong and move on, focus on what you have now not what happened yesterday!!!!!!!! have a GREAT rest of your week!!!!!!

[mimi]

It sounds like you need a mental boost. :) First do not pay any attention to your former dcg. Who cares if she is gives you the nasty looks, she is gone from your daycare. Just ignore her. Wipe your hands of the negative feelings. You did your best with this child and her parents now move on.
Plan very simple quick crafts. Painting, colouring etc. Do not fret if they spend two minutes on it. That is their age. Those two minutes they do craft is never a waste of time.
How about doing something for yourself. Go out with friends for a coffee and chat. Get out and get a better perspective.
Winter is the worst time because we are in the house more. Sometimes just sit, have a tea and watch the kids play and relax. Don't go for the energy drinks, just make sure you are taking your vitamin D and B vitamins.
Above all smile. Your mood can't help but lift when you do this. Really it works!
Also, use this forum to vent and get other views on what you are feeling. Knowing you are not alone and others feel the same way lets you know that this to shall pass. :flower:

[cfred]

Sorry to hear you're having such a low point. Everyone had really good advice on the emotional/mental standpoint.

Your neck and back pain - I'm new to that kind of thing. I had my first 2 pinched nerves in my neck a few months ago. Dear doG! That was pain like I've never known! At any rate, I can understand how big a toll that takes on a person. My neck and back were killing me and my left arm was almost completely incapacitated. It made work unbearable, but like you, can't close down for something like that. In desperation, I finally went to a chiropractor (believing my whole life that they were quacks and neck crackers). WOW! What a difference! Have you tried going to one? Mine employs the BAK technique with a little gun thing that works some kind of electrical impulse magic and gets everything back in line. I noticed a difference after 1 visit. After 2 visits, pain was pretty much gone. We're still working on my left arm, but I'm pretty much back to normal aside from a loss of dexterity in my thumb. Maybe something like that would be worth a shot? I would also recommend putting cold on your neck every day at least once for 30 mins or so. I'd just wrap a freezer pack in a tea towel and put it in the crook of my neck as I lay in bed reading at night. The heat feels so much better, but makes the swelling worse. Cold works great and I noticed a difference right away.

Oh, and a great energy source - Chia seeds. I mix a couple tbsp with yogourt or pudding. I've noticed a drastic difference in my energy levels since starting them a couple months ago. And of course...vitamins and YOU time :)

[Skysue]

[QUOTE=kidlove;37945]i don't think you need "energy" type suppliments because I don't think your energy is low.....I think you are down in the dumps, and stressed. This may sound harsh but (only because I have been where you are I feel I can say this:)) BUCK UP and suck it up!

You say she failed?

How did she fail? I am very confused by this statement, correcting a child is what is required by us. If we don't show them right from wrong then we are failing. The parents are down right wrong to pull there child out of care for being corrected. If your forced to walk on egg shells around your daycare parents then you are in the wrong business.

That child is sending vibes but those are of the parents. The child is darn right spoiled and that new daycare provider is who I feel sorry for the most.

[apples and bananas]

In regards to the toddler intimidation.... Not everyone one is a good fit for us. Sometimes we hava kids come to us and are no problem at all, but they didn't work well with their last provider. I'd just chalk it up to not a good fit.

I get really tired around 3pm (just as the kids are up from their restful nap) LOL I take a B vitamin supplement with my lunch and on the days I do that I seem to do a lot better.

As far as crafts go, I don't do as much as I used to unless there are holidays coming up. The reason? No ones interested. The kids aren't interested, the parents aren't interested. Why bother. So, we do normal colouring, holding crayons, naming colours, older ones are starting with glue and using scissors, but past that, unless it's a special occasion I just don't bother planning big extravagant crafts.

It's the time of year. We can't get outside, the house is looking exactly the same every day. There are weeks that I don't leave the house for days at a time!

Try to make some time for yourself. Get a pedicure, get your hair done, coffee with a friend sat morning. Whatever it is you love, just go do it.

[gcj]

I think you're being WAY too hard on yourself! Some kids just don't work out. And that's it. Move on. Turn the page. As far as the 2 year olds, loosing interest, yawning. They're 2! Let them play. Let them find things to do on their own. You have a playroom?? Best thing they can do in a playroom is play!! You don't have to navigate every part of their day. Best gift you can give yourself AND them is allowing them the chance to learn independent play. They can do it!

If you're in this for the long haul you need to learn balance. Sure, we do activities and circle time and crafts, but if you want to make it physically and mentally, give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to let them be. My guys are right here behind me playing. I don't have to tell them what to play, what to do. We did about 15 minutes of colouring/crafts, some outside playtime and now they're on their own. I'm making sure everything is safe and fair......but besides that they're on their own. They're playing and I'm recharging. And I'm allowed. I've decided that I'm allowed.

And get outside. Make yourself do it. Even if it's long to dress them....hey, that kills part of the never-ending morning! Who cares?! And the fresh air will do you all good.

And, lastly when the day is over find time for you....and at naps actually. Do something you like. Something that brings you back to life. Get out, do it at home....whatever makes you happy.

I think we've all been there. I know I have! I had my rough time....my rough years. And I've learned one thing. Kids don't need as much as we think they do. I'm in no way a slacker. I love teaching and doing preschool stuff and crafts, but balance it all out with a lot of free play. Learning this has given me the energy to give MORE...to the dcks, to my family and to ME!

I wish you courage, strength. luck. And don't let anyone tell you you've failed. It didn't work out....period. And if you feel you've failed, don't dwell on it. Move on. Learn from it. Your life is better now. And I don't think you need an energy drink. Try some chamomile. Energy will come from being content and calm. oooh...try president choice "calm" herbal tea. It's tasty and calming!

[DisneyPrincess]

Sorry to hear you're having such a low point. Everyone had really good advice on the emotional/mental standpoint.

Your neck and back pain - I'm new to that kind of thing. I had my first 2 pinched nerves in my neck a few months ago. Dear doG! That was pain like I've never known! At any rate, I can understand how big a toll that takes on a person. My neck and back were killing me and my left arm was almost completely incapacitated. It made work unbearable, but like you, can't close down for something like that. In desperation, I finally went to a chiropractor (believing my whole life that they were quacks and neck crackers). WOW! What a difference! Have you tried going to one? Mine employs the BAK technique with a little gun thing that works some kind of electrical impulse magic and gets everything back in line. I noticed a difference after 1 visit. After 2 visits, pain was pretty much gone. We're still working on my left arm, but I'm pretty much back to normal aside from a loss of dexterity in my thumb. Maybe something like that would be worth a shot? I would also recommend putting cold on your neck every day at least once for 30 mins or so. I'd just wrap a freezer pack in a tea towel and put it in the crook of my neck as I lay in bed reading at night. The heat feels so much better, but makes the swelling worse. Cold works great and I noticed a difference right away.

Oh, and a great energy source - Chia seeds. I mix a couple tbsp with yogourt or pudding. I've noticed a drastic difference in my energy levels since starting them a couple months ago. And of course...vitamins and YOU time :)

Yes I did start seeing a Chiro before the holidays, I was so much more in pain, couldnt bend over or even sit down hurt. Amazing what they can do in 10 min. Im just tired of driving all the way to Ottawa just for 10 min. Plus as soon as I'm ok I finally start working out again, and it starts hurting AGAIN :( I will put some cold on it. Thanx ;)

[Momof4]

Oh DisneyP, chin up sweetie! You did not fail. You have every right to feel low and wallow in self-pity for a few days if you really need to do that! Anybody who ever suffered from any kind of depression knows that you can't just pull yourself out of it because that's what everyone else expects. Ok, rant over about that!

Now, smile just a little please, breathe please. You know very well that you are better off without this miserable child in your daycare. Look at the ones who are there and smile and have fun and enjoy your stress-free days. That child is not going to have a happy life and her parents had better realize that quickly or they will be in for a world of hurt when she turns into a miserable teenager. Too bad they lost you because you might have been able to help her. IT'S THEIR LOSS! NOT YOURS!

I've been pretty miserable for a few weeks now because we've been housebound due to either pouring rain or freezing temperatures and no sensible weather in between. I've been pounded with personal problems for the past month too and I would be cracking up if I didn't know that I have to stop and breathe and relax for a minute once in a while, take care of myself every evening and take time to pamper myself a little bit and relax. Stress will kill you. Take care of yourself.

I've been getting a lot of enquiries for a daycare space. They are out there starting to look. Keep advertising. Stay positive. Peptalk over! But definitely vent away all you need.

[kidlove]

skysue: didnt really mean she failed, I meant it from the viewpoint she seems to have and we all tend to have when a child leaves on negitive terms....you really do feel like in some way, "you failed the situation" just have to admit you can't win then all and move. whether it is a difference in opinion with parent or child or a difference in lifestyle some people or kids you can't keep happy and just like we don't want others to try and change us...we can't expect to change others to be like us or accept us.....my point is: some you win and some you lose....this one was a loss. Just pick yourself up and move on. ;)

[kidlove]

interesting little fact about neck and back trouble....when your kneck and back are out your body is "off" it goes into overdrive to handle the issue of pain and what not,causing stress..in turn...lowering your immune system. If your back is out, get it fixed soon, the longer you let it go the more wore out you can get in turn causing more stress than you already have and to top it off, it's sick season...your so much more likely to pick up an extra illness due to the stress the back and other issues are causing you. take care of yourself and get your back fixed. ps: hope you don't think I was being mean when I said you failed, hope you understand what I meant by it...:) in this job we tend to take our position quite serious and when families leave on bad terms we can really beat ourselves up, it's a fact we will do it, so the quicker we can just swallow the fact that this one didn't work aka "failed" the quicker we can get back up and going full force ahead rather than ,think and worry about what has already been done! take care of yourself Disney! :flower:

[DisneyPrincess]

Try to make some time for yourself. Get a pedicure, get your hair done, coffee with a friend sat morning. Whatever it is you love, just go do it.

I've been in the Ottawa region for almost two years and I'm sad to say, I have no friends here, my family is all in Montreal. I had my husband that is all ahaha and he is soooo supportive especially these days. But nevertheless, it would be nice to have get togethers with other woman. I wonder if they are other providers getting together here ?? I guess i'll look it up but then, I'm kindda shy to just ''show up''.

Thank you ladies, I do need a good kick in the but.

[DisneyPrincess]

Oh DisneyP, chin up sweetie! You did not fail. You have every right to feel low and wallow in self-pity for a few days if you really need to do that! Anybody who ever suffered from any kind of depression knows that you can't just pull yourself out of it because that's what everyone else expects. Ok, rant over about that!

Now, smile just a little please, breathe please. You know very well that you are better off without this miserable child in your daycare. Look at the ones who are there and smile and have fun and enjoy your stress-free days. That child is not going to have a happy life and her parents had better realize that quickly or they will be in for a world of hurt when she turns into a miserable teenager. Too bad they lost you because you might have been able to help her. IT'S THEIR LOSS! NOT YOURS!

I've been pretty miserable for a few weeks now because we've been housebound due to either pouring rain or freezing temperatures and no sensible weather in between. I've been pounded with personal problems for the past month too and I would be cracking up if I didn't know that I have to stop and breathe and relax for a minute once in a while, take care of myself every evening and take time to pamper myself a little bit and relax. Stress will kill you. Take care of yourself.

I've been getting a lot of enquiries for a daycare space. They are out there starting to look. Keep advertising. Stay positive. Peptalk over! But definitely vent away all you need.

DisneyP --- hahaha you made me smile just there, its sound funny like yo DisneyP yo haha thanks :laugh:

I know this will sound weird but ''stress'' is my middle name. We have in my family anxiety issues from my grandma to my sister.. hell even to my own kids, its not easy dealing with it. I thought when moving here in Ontario that staying home and opening a daycare and being home for my own children after school would be a more smooth way of life.

I gotta say I was told that it is the parents that kills us the most in this business. And its true ! I'm lucky to have other parents who are amazing :)

[Crayola kiddies]

I too am in Ottawa Disney and I also moved here away from my family .... Where are you ? I'm near barrhaven !

[gcj]

I hear you on that. I'm north of Montreal....been here quite a while now and it's hard to meet people and make friends. I try to get involved in things, but people have their lives and it is hard to meet good friends....

[DisneyPrincess]

I too am in Ottawa Disney and I also moved here away from my family .... Where are you ? I'm near barrhaven !

I'm near Calypso park... Limoges

[DisneyPrincess]

I hear you on that. I'm north of Montreal....been here quite a while now and it's hard to meet people and make friends. I try to get involved in things, but people have their lives and it is hard to meet good friends....

Montreal QC ??

[playfelt]

I've been in the Ottawa region for almost two years and I'm sad to say, I have no friends here, my family is all in Montreal. I had my husband that is all ahaha and he is soooo supportive especially these days. But nevertheless, it would be nice to have get togethers with other woman. I wonder if they are other providers getting together here ?? I guess i'll look it up but then, I'm kindda shy to just ''show up''.

Thank you ladies, I do need a good kick in the but.

Where are you located? I am in Orleans. Have you joined the CCPRN yet? They have network groups set up that do get together and network. Some areas do a lot of gatherings and others very few but they do exist. The CCPRN also offers a warm line which gives you access to seasoned providers that can be a listening ear.

If you are having pain that gets better and then starts again when you exercise what about seeing a physiotherapist instead. They will be able to look at what exercises you are doing and the muscle groups you are using and work out a safer/less painful way to do it for you.

Expect a "swan song" period for the new girl in the new daycare. The new provider is going out of her way I'm sure to make the child and mom happy. The fact the 3 year old needed to hold her hand means you were right and she is not good at doing anything for herself which you already figured out. Remember it is a mom with a problem who has likely put words and ideas into the child's head and that complicated things. Often the child does do better at the second home not because the first home did anything wrong but because the family realized what they were doing wrong and a new start is good for everyone - old provider included.

You said how much calmer and comfortable your daycare is now. Embrace that and move forward. Do not worry if the 2 year olds are not ready for "school - circletime". Play games, set up matching and sorting activities. That is learning to a 2 year old.

[gramma]

Please dont take this post as whining but more desperate and ''cry'' for help !

Since my last episode last Friday of loosing a child at daycare from dispute or misunderstanding with the parents, that really took a toll on me. I see the girl that left all the time since she's just a few houses away, and she looks at me with such a mean look, no smile nothing, she's just 3 y.o. I guess I did do a super bad job with her... she was really really hard to deal with, never happy, barely smiling. All the other kids I've had where always happy and smily. Is it crazy I feel intimidated by a toddler ! I holds the other provider's hand and has if she's saying ''I'm so much better without YOU !'' Yes loosing the finances is pretty darn frustrating, but the daycare is so much more quiet, less stressful without that one. And the three 2 y.o. I have left are no trouble. They are looking for a lot of my attention though and I know thats normal but I feel so out of energy with everything thats happen. I do activities but they loose attention quickly (they yarn, get up to leave, look elsewhere) so I feel that bit of energy I am trying to give is waisted.

Not getting any request for the past weeks is not brighting up my mood either, plus the winter weather bringing me so down, on top of that I have constant lower back pain and neck pain.

Is it a ''time of the season'' typa-thing ?? Its my first full winter at the daycare ! I know by spring time I will get back on track, well I hope so... but its still months away ! What to do until then ??

I dont drink energy drinks, do you ladies know some natural product/vitamines out there that would boost up my energy and me being less boring ?? :(

First of all, dont take energy pills, they will wreck your stomach. We have all been where you are at one time or another and I think that you are taking the loss of this dcg too personally. We cant always work with everyone. Maybe this dcg knew she couldnt get away with stuff with you and she acted out. She could be on her best behaviour with the new provider but true colours always come out.
As for your low energy, i suffer from the same problem. For me I dont sleep well so I am always feeling low energy and frustration. Maybe take a look at your sleep habits. Are you getting enough sleep? I take a vitamin b supplement and I find that makes a huge difference in my day. If I forget i definately notice a difference. Make sure you are eating right. I know how busy days can make for poor food choices.
I agree with others that your are down in the dumps. Daycare is very isolated and the winter is the worst. I always feel a surge of energy when we can get outside in the spring even though its a pain to get everyone out sometimes. I dont do winter outside time because of the ages of kids I have and I hate winter LOL.
i have felt the way you do and actually am going through the same thing myself a bit at the moment but I find that if I use naptime wisely and do something for myself i feel better. find a crafting hobby, or a good book and a cuppa and enjoy your time. Most of all dont beat yourself up over this dcg, its not worth it. you need to let the frustration go. I know its easy to say and when you are the one feeling down in the dumps its hard to find the motivation to pick yourself up believe me I know what you are feeling. on top of just general frustrations, I am just starting to experience the sypmtoms of menopause which some days makes me downright miserable.
If in fact what your experiencing is depression, none of our suggestions will make a bit of difference. If you suspect that may be it, go see your doctor.
I hope that you can pull yourself up and have some good days ahead, in the meantime we are all here to give you a boost when you need it.

[DisneyPrincess]

I have been with CCPRN from the start... now I just need to renew my membership. I didnt really participate in activities there, they are so far, 40 minutes drive :( I was stuck a few times during the beginning of my daycare and didnt feel they helped me much. I much prefer this website and its forums.

Here in Limoges, there is quite a lot a daycares now. Close, we are 3 providers that get along great, but we are also neighbours so most dont want to mix personnal life with neighbour life (I had that experience at my other house) Also, I have older girls of my own but they have smaller children, I know they are busy enough with their own lifes.

I guess if there would be a supper get together at like ... East Side Marios or St-hubert for example in Orleans or St-Laurent-Trainyards-Gloucester area... I wouldnt mind once in a while ;)

I guess we are still kindda all strangers so no one would do a at home get together, perhaps after meeting a few times ! I'm 25 minutes away from St-Laurent Center.

[gcj]

Montreal QC ??

Yes. Laval, actually. I like it here, but sometimes I feel like I left my whole life behind and I don't have my own friends. Working at home with kids makes it tricky to find friends!

[DisneyPrincess]

Well from a girl who is from Montreal, I tell ya it is hard to just ''make friends'' especially Laval... it has become so busy there. I used to live in Repentigny and really liked it there, no probs with getting to know people.

We moved cause we couldnt stand Montreal anymore actually :(

Don't get me wrong, my aunt lived in Laval in a nice development and it was just as nice. You just have to make the first steps... like here actually. If you dont talk to anyone, no one will talk to you grrr. Actually they are some ppl that even if I had an entire conversation with once, the next time its like they dont know me :( About that !!!

[gcj]

So true! Noone says hello just to say hello. My mom is in Ajax, Ontario and people are so friendly. Always chatting in lines and stuff. If I talk about it to people here, they're like "why? I don't know them. Why would I say hi?!" Funny how different areas are so different. \

My kids are in school now...English school and they have a lot of school spirit and parents seem really friendly, so I'm trying to get as involved as I can to get to know people that way, too.

[playfelt]

Watch the ccprn newsletter for workshops in Orleans. They are trying to do more. I had a workshop at my house last night on a valentine's theme here in Orleans. One of the ladies last night asked me about some more get togethers and I am quite happy to do it. Any chance you do plastic canvas. lol? She wants a night of learning how to make teaching resources from it. She saw my ice cream cones and sorting squares.