Holding their breath until they faint?

[mlle.coccinelle]

Oh dear, my part time girl is on her last day today, and she is a MONSTER! She discovered that when she want's something, she holds her breath until mommy gives in!
Every reason is good to hold her breath : want a candy ( I dont know where she got the idea that I have candy here... because i dont), don't want to share, want the toy that Little X has in her hands, My son looked at her...
What do I do... I don't want to give in... but I don't want her to faint either!

what would you do?

[BlueRose]

I would call her parents to pick her up. its too dangerous to keep her in care. She could get hurt or the other kids could start doing it too.
I would also put her in a playpen close to were i was, so if she does faint she is in a safe spot and I can keep an I on her.

has she already fainted, or are you just afraid she will? One can "hold their breath", but really still breath throw their noise. I have seen a kid do this. It looked like he was holding his breath for an hour, but he really wasn't.

[jazmic]

You definitely don't want to give in! That would only encourage her. I would sprinkle her face with ice cold water. Cold water usually makes people gasp.

[mlle.coccinelle]

she hasn't fainted, she get's upset and start crying after 15-20 seconds when she realize I won't give in. I'm just afraid she will. She is a VERY stubborn child! She usually beg for something once or twice then put her hand on her nose, and puff up her cheeks and look at me in the eyes! I tried distracting her with other toys that she likes or inviting her to play a game with the other children but like I said she is very stubborn!

[mlle.coccinelle]

oh! cold water is a very good Idea!!! THX Jazmic!!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

We had one of those years ago in centre care ... not just for tantrums but if she cried for any reason she literally could not figure out how to self soothe once she got upset she would have to go through the cycle of reaching that point of passing out from lack of breath to reset her brain ... use to freak us out too .... if we could catch her earlier enough after a fall or something like that and blow in her face to distract her from spiraling into that we would but for a 'tantrum' because she wanted something we just picked her up and put her someone 'safe' to pass out ~ usually a playpen back than .... she eventually grew out of it around 3 when she got enough language to talk and 'reason' with her when calm about better ways to self soothe!

I personally would just redirect behavior like that ... the most 'attention' she would get would be the comment 'I can see you are upset and feel the need to cry instead of talk it out ~ here is a safe place to do it" and put her on a cot, pack n play or wherever until she is 'done' and if she 'faints' before she is done than she has a soft place to land and you call the client and say 'she passed out in the midst of a tantrum because she could not get her own way and needs to go home to be observed in a closer environment in case the fainting was due to something else'!

IME the more attention a 'tantrum' gets the more power it gives a child to continue to do it because it is working to get her attention even if it does not get them what they initially wanted like the 'candy' or what not it is still being rewarded with everyone trying to 'stop' the behavior ... remove the reward or attention for it and tantrums go away quickly! If mom is not willing to do that and keeps 'negotiating' with the tantrums she can expect them to escalate!

[Fun&care]

I don't have much to say other than my sister used to do the exact same thing, and she would pass out sometimes. Tough situation to be in as a caregiver....hope you can find something that works!

[mlle.coccinelle]

took out the playpen, and told her that if she does it again, she is going in there to be safe. she is almost 4 so she is well aware that playpens are for babies. She never did it again. keeping my fingers crossed that it will stay that way!

[gramma]

oh! cold water is a very good Idea!!! THX Jazmic!!!44



in a spray bottle LOL

[mom-in-alberta]

I have never seen a child do this, but I have heard of it! As long as she is in a safe place, let her be. Even if she does end up fainting, as long as she doesn't hurt herself falling down, she will be fine.
That sounds like a real winner family. Thank the Lord that they are gone!!!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Om my did not realize she is FOUR ... ya so old enough to knock manipulative behavior like that off ... I assumed this was a toddler without language we were talking about!

[Momof4]

This is going to sound mean but I would probably hold her nose and say, let me help you, some air might get in through your nose. I bet that would shock her and teach her a lesson. It's time somebody calls her on her ridiculous behaviour and shows her that she isn't upsetting you at all and she isn't going to accomplish anything with that trick. She isn't going to faint and she is going to breathe again when she has to, but obviously her parents are panicking and she knows it works on them. I am so glad I don't have school aged children in my daycare.