View Full Version : My son IS the aggressor!!

06-06-2011, 10:06 PM
I have been reading threads about providers having aggressors and bullys in their care, that ultimately, they have to dismissm from daycare. I agree it is the right thing to do if he/she is making life difficult or upsetting for the provider and other kids there.
But what do I do if my own son is the one who is pushing, hitting, and slapping the other kids at daycare!?! At my home daycare! And what if I told you my son is only 14 months old. A hefty, strong, forceful 14 month old (33lbs). The other kids are 2x 14 months and 1x 30 months.
Is this a sign of frustration with having to share his mom and hoome etc? He started this maybe a month ago. I feel bad for the other kids and I find myself feeling so bad when I have to remove my son from play and sternly talk to him about this behaviour. The idea of me staying home with him was my dream but I never realized he would be the one to cause my headaches.
Any ideas/suggestions or has anyone else experiences this?

06-06-2011, 10:11 PM
I am in the same boat with my just barely two year old daughter. So far I've chalked it up to the fact that she has to fight for my attention during the day. Every time a new kids starts the aggression seems to be more extreme but then subsides. I'm sure it has to do with the shared attention, the sharing of what used to be her toys, etc. It's tough and I feel bad for removing her from situations but she has to learn that it's not okay to be mean to other kids. I explain to her many times that if she wants mommy to stay home with her then this is how it has to be. I'm sure she doesn't quite get it yet but hopefully one day she will. Until then, I'm open to ideas/suggestions as well!!

06-07-2011, 01:36 AM
How long have you been doing home daycare? If it's a fairly recent (like 6 months or less) transition, I would absolutely chalk it up to his reaction to home daycare, but don't feel guilty about it!! Yes, it's tough to share your mommy, not to mention your toys, your home, etc. But you made the choice for a reason and it probably outweighs his current frustration.
I would treat him EXACTLY as you would the other kids doing the same thing. If they get time out, so does he. Or whatever your method of discipline/correction may be.
Stay firm when he does that stuff, but make sure you give him a little extra time when you can. A couple more hugs during the day, extra play/story time in the evening when the d/c kids are gone. Keep it up, and this too shall pass!!

06-07-2011, 04:51 PM
I have been in daycare biz for only 3 months. It probably is the transition into this new life. Thanks for your help and advice! I will take it into consideration! :)

06-08-2011, 10:48 AM
If it is new-ish (with in the last year or so) I would bet it is relating to the change in his routine. It is hard to be a kid and have things change so much! (I am not saying that you should not do daycare, kids have to learn to adjust, and the only way to learn is to practice!)