Just want to take off to a private island !

[Skysue]

Today has been one of those days where I wish I could quit. I'm mad at my husband for not being able to make enough money to support us both.

I'm mad that my upscale neighbour's say I'm crazy for doing daycare.

I'm mad that I want another baby but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards.

I'm mad that because of doing daycare my beautiful home is taking a beating.

I'm mad that I can't do my dream job any more due to having to travel for days at a time.

I'm mad that I can't really confide this with my friends because they are all doing amazing and wouldn't truly understand.

I know I'm good a being a daycare provider but I miss being able to have more time for me. It's tough when you can't even go to the bathroom without someone needing you. LOL

None of the daycare parents even understand that quite time is break time for me.

Sorry for venting it just feels good to get it off my chest!

I know all the amazing things in my life and I am greatful for them but when will it be my turn.

:(

[torontokids]

I totally get what you are saying and I don't think this is something unique to daycare providers but mothers too. You want to be everything to everyone and there is nothing left for yourself. Your friends might understand after all because I am sure they have felt this way as well.

[torontokids]

I am doing the home daycare to stay home with my kids. I wish I could just be home with my kids but unfortunately this isn't a realistic for my family. I wish I lived in the 50's (sorry for putting the woman's movement back 50 yrs but remember the movement is about a woman's choice and unfortunately with homes requiring 2 incomes our choices have narrowed).

[Fun&care]

I think we can all identify in some way to some of the things you said...daycare definitely has its perks, but it also has a few unpleasant downsides...at the end of the day you need to decide for yourself if its worth it or not. Sounds like you could use some time to do something for yourself, schedule a haircut at a fancy salon, get a relaxing massage, or go window shopping by yourself if you're broke ;) you deserve it :)

[GymMom]

I hear ya! i have lots of those days too! And with my own kids all in school, I often wonder if I am crazy!! :)

[sunnydays]

I think we all have those days! But, I always try to remember that I had those same kind of days when I worked outside the home. The work issues were different, but it caused the same feeling (or worse) in the end. I find it much easier to forget a child's bad behaviour at the end of the day than an adult (think boss or coworker). Do something for yourself and think about the stress you had when you worked outside the home....it will likely make you feel better about your current situation!

[mimi]

I hear you. I'm mad that I have to spend weekends and evenings doing daycare paperwork, craft prep etc. This is soooooooooo not a 9 - 5 job.
I'm mad when I tell people I have a daycare, they smile and nod and you can read in their eyes (can't get a "real job"). I just want to shove my resume in their face and show them all I have accomplished and let them know this is the best and hardest job I've ever had and I do it well.
Oh that felt good. Thanks for the opportunity to vent Skysue. LOL

[bright sparks]

I think we all have those days! But, I always try to remember that I had those same kind of days when I worked outside the home. The work issues were different, but it caused the same feeling (or worse) in the end. I find it much easier to forget a child's bad behaviour at the end of the day than an adult (think boss or coworker). Do something for yourself and think about the stress you had when you worked outside the home....it will likely make you feel better about your current situation!

I see what your saying sunnydays but I think there is still a huge difference. One being that generally a badly behaved child is to be expected during their early childhood development and most posts on this forum are about parents not working hand in hand to correct this behaviour so the problem is the adult and can rub us up the wrong way much worse than a naughty kid which we expect a lot more in our job. Makes it harder to shake when a parent is part of the problem. Also, when working outside the house, you may have an ass of a boss or irritating co-worker but when your work day is over you come home to somewhere completely seperate. Working in this job can be very isolating and at the end of a bad day there is no seperate space and it can be harder to switch off the last 9 or 10 hours as it was in the same setting.

I think you need to make part of your routine self care. Nobody is going to look after you so you need to make yourself a priority. Also try changing up your daycare day a little bit with a different routine and different activities. Have a music time with YOUR favourite songs and dance around, have a big sensory activity like shredded paper and let them go crazy and then after just vacuum it up. You can play as a group, they will need less from you and they will be super excited and happy which will rub off on you. It will also tire them out for naptime and hopefully then quiet time will be quiet.

Keep your chin up. I get it that friends don't understand, so be sure to come and vent here. We will always give our spin on things and try to help you on these down days...

[Stacey55]

I so understand, I had one neighbour tell her kids and it got back to me I'm doing doing daycare because I'm uneducated. I couldn't be bothered with a reply to that, she doesn't even know me.

I feel so unappreciated more than not. I am just waiting to retire from daycare, maybe another 3 years

[cfred]

Skysue, I know exactly how you feel. I was very angry about things as well....maybe frustrated is a better word. I was especially frustrated that I have to work so hard to provide for my family by myself whilst my ex-beloved was prancing around living out his dream and ripping through brides (working on #5 as we speak). They're all very valid feelings you're having and vent away! My remedy was to be completely and utterly selfish. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes.

I do, in fact, disappear to a private island once every year....well, not private, but might as well be! I load up my back pack, get all my camping gear and head to a little island off the coast of Puerto Rico for a week or so, ALONE! It's a lovely, safe and cheap trip which recharges my batteries completely. For that brief period I lay about in my hammock reading, sail to an uninhabited island whilst ogling the captain (of course), drink my morning coffee on the beach at sunrise and splash in the blue Caribbean Sea. There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING like it. I get to be me in my best form and I can swing my arms without hitting children. No one wants anything from me, aside from the odd backpacker wanting to share supplies for dinner or play some cards. It's quite lovely.....April is sooooo far away!

Find your thing that you love, that you look forward to and make it happen. For me, I take on little extra jobs on some weekends, use my GST cheques, whatever for these trips. I make them up from 'found money' if that makes any sense. We all deserve to put ourselves first now and then and we should as a point of maintaining a good emotional state. I find, with my trip, that the months leading up to it are that much more tolerable because I know it's coming. We all need something amazing to look forward to.

Chin up....find your selfish side and embrace it :)

[Skysue]

I wish I could go away by my self but my husband would divorce me. He is a very jealous sort that these days is sooooooo grumpy with his life. All I can say is I do need a break to re charge and I need to find a way to do it.

[crafty]

I wish I could go away by my self but my husband would divorce me. He is a very jealous sort that these days is sooooooo grumpy with his life. All I can say is I do need a break to re charge and I need to find a way to do it.

On top of working 12 hour shifts during the week my husband also works every other weekend. When I need a break I can't rely on him, money is tight so I can't do much and family&friends are far enough. However every blue moon my kids go on a overnighter at grand ma's place and it's usually the weekend my husband works. Now I have the whole house to myself. It's as close as I am going to get to a private Island but it works real wonders for me.

[mimi]

A "private island" can be anywhere you have peace and quiet and will be uninterrupted for a while. We all need a mental and physical break from our responsibilities and just have some time to chill or do something we enjoy. I am going to give some thought as to how I can achieve my private island time. Hmmmm

[sunnydays]

Yes, a private island can be something as simple as escaping into a good book...or taking yourself for a quiet coffee by yourself...or getting out for a walk on your own. I sometimes feel the same way...like all I do is cook, clean, and take care of others...I know it's because I need to do something for myself. In fact, just this evening I decided I am going to get back to going to the gym...even twice a week...I need the exercise, but it's also because I need to get out and be alone where nobody can ask me for anything ;)

[Momof4]

Skysue, I always say I wish I could go live in the woods and be a hermit and never see another human being. But the truth is, I couldn't do it. We all have people who love and need us even when we are at our lowest. And we need them too.

But I understand what you are saying. What you need is to run away for a quiet weekend somewhere! Rent a hotel room or book a daytrip. Those are wonderful. I have 2 great friends and the 3 of us do daytrips several times a year just to get away and feel like we are running away from everything for a day.

[mimi]

Like a Thelma and Louise except without the cliff LOL

[Skysue]

Like a Thelma and Louise except without the cliff LOL

I'm in but how do we get Brad Pitt to commit!
LoL

[Fun&care]

[QUOTE=Stacey55;38663]I so understand, I had one neighbour tell her kids and it got back to me I'm doing doing daycare because I'm uneducated.

That's terrible. I value what I do and although I might be uneducated, at least I haven't taken out thousands in loans only to pursue a career that has nothing to do with what I studied ( I have soooo many friends like this)! And honestly I think SHE is the uneducated one here because she clearly does not understand the kind of person it takes to do this. :p

[DaycareLady]

Oh cfred! That sounds amazing!! I just had a mini dream vacation reading your reply! I understand how you feel sky! I wish more money came into the house so I could just be home with my kids and jot have to take on 5 others during the day to pay the bills! I get so annoyed when I over hear stay at home moms complaining about, we'll anything lol! I couldn't do this if I didn't get out to the gym almost every night, just to let off steam, see other adults, do something for ME! We have a 24/7 gym here and I love escaping when my babes go to bed (lol with their father home of course). Chin up, think of the amazing impact you are having on so many kids!

[Momof4]

I'm in but how do we get Brad Pitt to commit!
LoL

Haha, I'll have to mention that to my friends, we have been missing out! Seriously though, we really do have to make sure we take care of ourselves and not just everybody else in the world!