Biting out of excitment

[sunnydays]

Okay, I know there have been a ton of threads about biting, but I thought I would throw this out there anyway and see what you ladies would suggest. I know that with toddlers, biting usually happens out of frustration for one reason or another and I have dealt with this type of biting before. However, I have a little boy who just turned 2 and yesterday bit another child really hard twice...but not out of frustration...out of excitement. He seems to think it's part of playing (like a puppy would do). Today I blocked an attempt as well...it was an exact repeat of the first one from yeserday. The two boys were playing and followed each other to the couch...they both put their forearms on the couch and suddenly dcb leaned toward the other boy's back to bite it (yesterday ge left huge welts and broke the skin). He was not angry or frustrated...they were just playing and he thought it would be fun. This child's dad plays physically with him all the time...not in a rough way at all (his parents are very calm and gentle people), but throwing him up on the air, giving raspberries, that kind of thing. The child is not talking at all and is more like an 18 month old in most ways. I am hoping if I block his attempts by watching him like a hawk, putting him in a booster seat when I have to change a diaper etc, I can stop him and he will forget about it soon. Any other suggestions??

[Bookworm]

I would talk to the parents about his recent behaviour, and say that he seems to think that this physical type of play is acceptable, and it isn't here at daycare because of this (biting) very reason. I would also, maybe, gently suggest that they discontinue the really physical type of play with dad, because kids don't know that there is a time and place for it kwim?
I have two brothers that are biters, and they bite out of frustration and excitement. I have been really stressing "hands off" play with them because I find if they get physical with anyone in any way, it leads to biting almost always. I have also told the parents that I do not allow any physical type of play because of this (in the attempt to get them to stop allowing it at home).
I also, have told my husband to stop physical play with my own son (he like to lie on the floor and let our kids climb over him) as my son has started to do it with the younger kids in the daycare, and I have been teaching my son that it is not an acceptable way to play.
I guess it may seem a little drastic, but I find it has been working with the kids here.

[Artsand crafts]

My son was biting out of excitement before. It has been about 2 months that he has not do it. He is 20 months. What worked for me to get him to stop was: at his level and looking at his eyes and in a calm voice (no showing anger) I told him that he was excited, but that hitting hurts and X must be in pain. If he was excited he should hug, kiss, jump. I did that about 3 times (even when he was about to bite). Now, he is a wonderful boy. He now likes to hug, kiss, and I seeing him jumping in excitement several times. Young kids sometimes just do not know what is the appropriated behavior to match their emotions.

[playfelt]

That sounds like the parents are playing nipping games at home. I'm going to eat you , I'm going to bite you - nibble nibble on cheek, tummy, finger whatever. Parents do not realize that kids do not grasp play and reality at this stage and they are really not playing with their child - they are turning them into a bully that is likely to turn around and do the same "game" to another person.

Play wrestling is the same thing. Parents understand how to make it look like they are slamming the child or punching without actually touching but others watching do not. They punch or kick or push for real.

[sunnydays]

I actually did talk to parents about how the child thinks everything is a game, before the biting happened. I suggested being firm when he hits and not letting him see it as a game. I saw this kind of thing coming. He had started trying to hit me occassionally when he was annoyed with me etc. He is a very sweet, kind little guy and despite all this I would not call him aggressive. But I think he just thinks it's all a game...anything goes. The problem with explaining to him that it hurts his friend etc, is that he is totally non-verbal and doesn't actually understand when I say things like that (well at least he does not show any comprehension). It would be very hard for me to get him to hug or kiss instead...he just doesn't understand what I am getting at. The parents seem to think he has learned hitting and biting somewhere (well insinuating here from the other kids), but I am trying to get them to understand that it is an impulse and a normal phase toddlers go through that we need to help them get out of quickly.

[sunnydays]

Yes Playfelt...this is my theory as well in this case. In other cases it is sometimes just frustration and a lack of communication (which does come into play with this non-verbal child), but in this case, he is doing it in play. He is not frustrated or angry at all. I have suggested to the parents to not let him even put his mouth on them in play (aside from kisses of course) because he doesn't understand the difference between using lips or teeth. He also has no concept of pretend, imaginary play...if parents are pretend biting, he would not have any idea of how this differs from real biting.



That sounds like the parents are playing nipping games at home. I'm going to eat you , I'm going to bite you - nibble nibble on cheek, tummy, finger whatever. Parents do not realize that kids do not grasp play and reality at this stage and they are really not playing with their child - they are turning them into a bully that is likely to turn around and do the same "game" to another person.

Play wrestling is the same thing. Parents understand how to make it look like they are slamming the child or punching without actually touching but others watching do not. They punch or kick or push for real.

[playfelt]

It finally took a parent watching a 3 year old play with the 6 month old sibling at home and actually biting on toes and fingers and tummy and leaving teeth marks and when asked what are you doing claimed she was playing with baby just like daddy does. Lightbulb moment. Play routines changed at home and problem solved at daycare - keep your mouth to yourself. Child was made to kiss her hand and plant the kiss for the next while till she proved she could kiss safely. At daycare it was hugs only for sibling who was coming into care at 10 months.

[sunnydays]

Thanks Playfelt! I asked the parents and yes indeed, the dad play nibbles and kisses child's belly, back, neck, arms, etc. He has agreed to leave the mouth out of play both for himself and the child. Hopefully that stops the biting before it becomes a habit. So far I have been able to intervene and stop the couple of attempts that have happened in the past two days since the initial biting. He is now under my constant watch and will remain so for the foreseeable future so that nobody gets hurt.