Bad behavior at pick up

[Mambia]

Not sure what the deal is but one of my dck (1.5 yrs old) is wonderful all day in my care and the minute his mom comes through the door to pick up, he cries, runs away from her and just starts whining. She does absolutely nothing about it and actually watches as he climbs on things, uses her car keys to scratch my walls and door....arghhh! So annoying. Looks like she has no control over him. Weirdest of all is that he tends to turn to the wall, place his hands on the wall and starts banging his head against the wall repeatedly looking for a reaction. Weirdo! She claims that he does this at home to get her attention. I just really am curious why he turns into a lil devil the minute she arrives. Have any of you experienced this. Personally, I would cry if I had to go home with her too :no:

[apples and bananas]

I have one that is 18 months and just started into this behaviour. He gets his boots and throws them at mom. He goes to my front door and bangs on it. When asked to put his coat on it's a nice big "NO" as a response. He's fine all day with me and rarely says no to me. And if he does he certainly doesn't follow through.

This same boy goes home and is a nightmare lately apparently. He won't go into his high chair. He hits his head against the wall. Throwing full tantrums on the floor when he doesn't get his way. A completely different child.

I think it's the sign that I do my job. I have a good handle on the kids in my care and I'm consistent with my rules. They're happy, they listen, there's order to my house (as much as there can be with 5 little ones running around)

I rarely step in and correct the behaviour. As soon as mom comes in the door my magical powers disapear and no one listens to me.

[Spixie33]

I have had kids melt down at pick up time for different reasons

1- They want to show off in front of their parents or are craving for attention and therefore act up or they are testing the boundaries between the parent vs daycare provider

2- They get an emotional meltdown because they can't process the emotions involved and the transition from saying bye to the fun/friends at daycare and the excitement of seeing their parent return.

I would make a comment to the child and say 'we don't put the keys on Mambia's wall"

[Crayola kiddies]

I had a child like this and it was so bad that mom would carry him out kicking and screaming .... So if this parent arrives at the same time every day then a quick fix is to have the child ready when the parent walks in. Then you say "ooihhhh mommys here well you have a terrific evening and ill see you tomorrow" and out they go ..... I currently have a mom that texts me when she is 5 mins out and I get the child ready cause he gives her the gears when she wants to out the coat on..... So now when she walks in he's all smiles and ready to go .

[Momof4]

Oh dear, that child is over the top! You know, it's strange but the most dramatic over the top children I have had in care in 5 years have all been boys. Why is that? When I have a drama child in care I make sure I know exactly when the parents will be here to pick up and I have them dressed and ready and psyched up and excited to see Mom/Dad.

Some children have a really hard time with change of any kind and it sounds like you have one of those little ones. Make sure you know who is picking up and at one time so you can properly prepare the child and have him ready.

[Other Mummy]

Yup, this crazy phenomenon is simply referred to in the daycare world as "Changing of the Guard" I do exactly what momof4 does when I have a child that turns into the devil's spawn as soon as mom or dad come to the door.

Get them ready 5 min. before pick up. Then simply hand child to parents out the door. No more power struggles and no more scratched walls :)

[Trace of Angels]

LOL I agree Other Mummy. It is a "changing of the guards". Love that name for it. I had a little one who was so awful with this that I spoke to his Mom and told her that he had to learn to accept that this was my house and my rules. That even if Mommy was here that I still "trump" Mommy until he is out my door. I had to discipline him and put him in a couple of time outs while Mommy was right there in the room just as I would do if she wasn't. It only took two times of doing this and it NEVER happened again. He learned pretty quick that I was still the boss at my house :-)

[sunnydays]

This is very common. I agree with all that the other ladies have posted. It is partly an attention getting thing because they miss the parent and partly because the parent has not established proper discipline with the child and partly because of the transition. I have one who will run into various rooms of my house on his way out with mom...she cannot control him. Then I hear his tantrums as she tries to wrestle him into his jacket and boots. He's 2.5. If I am there, he doesn't do it, but I have a basement daycare and parents have to come in and take their kids up and out so I cannot escort them to the door as I can't leave all the others alone.

[KellyP]

Yup, this crazy phenomenon is simply referred to in the daycare world as "Changing of the Guard" I do exactly what momof4 does when I have a child that turns into the devil's spawn as soon as mom or dad come to the door.

Get them ready 5 min. before pick up. Then simply hand child to parents out the door. No more power struggles and no more scratched walls :)

I see someone here is a fan of Nannyde - The Daycare Whisperer.

I read her blog post about "Changing of the guard"

http://www.daycare.com/nannyde/the-dynamic-of-bad-behavior-in-daycare.htm

[Other Mummy]

Yup! I love Nannyde, her blogs are very insightful and help give providers the confidence to grow a backbone in a lot of cases :)

[daycarewhisperer]

Yup! I love Nannyde, her blogs are very insightful and help give providers the confidence to grow a backbone in a lot of cases :)

Aww thanks mommy

[KellyP]

Yup! I love Nannyde, her blogs are very insightful and help give providers the confidence to grow a backbone in a lot of cases :)

I have learned alot from her. She has a very no non-sense way of approaching things and she puts things into perspective in an easy to understand manner.

She has recently started putting videos on youtube that demonstrate some of her methods.

[mom-in-alberta]

Hahaha... changing of the guard. Funny. :)

Who knows why this happens. Sensory overload at the end of the day, tiredness, a little mad at Mama for being gone all day. Or sometimes they just work the fact that Mama is tired and will give in/not fight the behaviour.
Either way, as long as they are here, they are under MY house rules. We do not hit, throw things, scream, or otherwise behave like a hooligan.
If possible have the child ready to go for mom/dad. But for sure take control. Seriously, she lets her kid KEY your walls??? Nuh-uh, lady!!!!

[mimi]

My husband is home during pick up time. He sits out of sight and listens to the misbehaviour. The next time he sees dck, he sits them down and tells them he did not like their behaviour and it is not to happen again. The next time he is present at the offenders pick up and all it takes is a look from hubby and they stop. He is like Switzerland - neutral (as in changing of the guard) Heck, I stop my misbehaviour when I see that look LOL (most of the time):)