Dcp entering my home

[Mommy]

Hey everyone. Ok so I'm just wondering how much of an open door policy everyone has with their dcps. I have a new dcb that started last month. Her mother has a tendency to slide her shoes off and walk right in and around the main floor of my house. This irritates me and my husband who one day was sleeping on the couch in the toy room and felt uncomfortable being woken up by a parent walking right in to change her child. Her daughter has a tendency to poop or pee herself right when her mother arrives. I offer to change her cause I do t want her walking through my house but she just walks right in and does it before I finish offering. Is this wrong on my part ? Do you guys allow parents to roam your house as they please ? If not how do you politely tell them not to ? Thanks in advance.

[torontokids]

I think the best advice I have read is to have the child ready to go when the parent is picking them up.

[Mommy]

Oh I do. I've done that but her daughter is potty training and pees or poops through right as her mother shows up so she just walks right in.

[torontokids]

Does she pee oput of excitement in seeing her mom? What about having her on the potty just before/as her mom comes to get "ready" to go home?

[mimi]

dck needs a diaper change in my house, I will do it. If mom starts taking off her shoes let her know your family is occupying the space and do not wish to be disturbed. My dcparents see my hallway and that's it. This woman is rude and infringing on your privacy.

[Momof4]

That is really inconsiderate of her. Do you feel like she thinks you are her employee? Because that happens sometimes and we have to put our foot down and make people understand the boundaries. We have a working relationship with a contract and we provide a service in our homes but that doesn't mean anybody has a right to access to our home at their own whims!

If that were happening to me I would have to be polite but blunt. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, but if I were you I would write a letter addressed to all my daycare clients and outline the parts of your home that are accessible to your clients. Use the word CLIENTS. I would include in the letter the fact that your home belongs to your family and you are sharing certain rooms with the daycare children, however parents should confine their movements to (for instance) the entrance hallway unless invited in for a special occasion.

Some people don't have common courtesy! But if you address the letter to all of your clients the offending one will get the message. If not, you will have to say it to her face. But definitely stand up for your rights and your family's rights.

Yeeesh, this makes me so mad for your family!

[Mommy]

K good I was worried I was just being ridiculous. My house is open concept so the parents can see almost all of the main floor she is the only parent who does this. I've never had an issue with any other parent. She wears slide on shoes it take two seconds and they are off. I'm just not even sure how to bring it up. I worry one day ill snap and tell her to get out. I figured when my doors went from being open always to locked always that she would take the hint but no. She shows up at different times. Her daughter is here ten hours and twenty minutes four days a week. The day she's not suppose to come her mother makes an appointment and asks if she can bring her for an hour which turns into two and a half and goes right into my nap time. Then when I'm irritated and say your daughter has been waiting for an hour and a half and wondering why she didn't go for nap with the others she just changes the subject and act like nothing happened. I'm so annoyed. Arrrrrg.

[Mommy]

Oh and the ten hours and twenty minutes is cause she comes ten minutes before I official 7 am start and stays till 5:10 ten minutes after I close cause my late fees start accumulating at fifteen minutes prior or after. So irritating

[momofnerds]

I had a mom who use to do this, one day, I was with the kids in the toy room and she snuck up on me, scared the poop out of me. That day I went to homedepot and bought and alarm for the door. Its like a door bell but everytime you open the door it would chime.

just because you have an open door policy doesn't mean you have to leave the door unlocked. I welcome parents anytime, but I will lock my door so I don't have surprises, esp. if I have to go to the bathroom.

[sunnydays]

I keep my doors locked for safety reasons, but I do not mind if parents come into my daycare area (I have a separate daycare space in the basement). In fact, I set up an intercom system with my garage door where I let them in without actually going to the door...so they actually have to come in and get their child. To be honest, I have been on the parent's side and it was a very uncomfortable feeling not ever seeing the area where my child played each day (she would bring him dressed to the door). I felt like it was my duty as a parent to see the space from time to time and make sure everything seemed okay (clean, kids happy, etc). Knowing what it's like to be the parent, I put my system in place partly because it is safer for me not to be leaving kids alone to take others to the door, but also because I feel it brings peace of mind to the parents. Now, I would certainly not welcome them to wander around the family areas of my home, but they are welcome to come into my daycare space daily. It is really scary being a parent and leaving your child with a stranger. Now, on the other issues you mentioned...I would ask, why are you allowing her to come earlier and pick-up later? Is that what you agreed to in your original contract? If it isn't working for you, you have to tell the parents and either change it or terminate care. Resenting the parent for something you have agreed to will not get you anywhere.

[mimi]

To clarify, my dcparents drop their child off in the entrance of my downstairs playarea so they do see and can ask to see any part of my daycare area. For pick ups, the dckids are upstairs and that is where my dcparents only get as far as my hallway. :)

[Fun&care]

I think if the parent is entering a daycare area of your home it's only fair that they be allowed in. After all, this is the place where their child is being raised. I had a parent who would regularly take of her shoes and come in the house and chat and ask dcg about her day. Most ppl would be annoyed but I think it's better to have a parent who is involved than not. And did you say hubby was sleeping in the toy room? Maybe not the best place for a nap around pick up time IMO.

[Mommy]

She was my last child to be picked up that day he was sleeping and he crashed shortly after five which is my closing time. She showed up at 5:14 and walked right in that day so I think he has every right to be upset when she was late in the first place. It wasn't agreed upon her showing up early and picking up late. I have in my contract that late fees are charged fifteen minutes prior or after my opening or closing time. Time agreed was 7 to 4 she shows up at ten to seven and picks up at 5:10 most days. My daycare with the toys is in a side room but the kids are allowed to walk all over the main floor. But this is shared with my family. When I took my first to daycare I never thought I was my right to roam the providers home just cause she looked after my child. The only not visible parts are the you room, bathroom and part of the kitchen. Is she's seeing 75 percent of the space the main space the kids use from the door I don't see why she should be allowed to walk right in and do as she pleases. But that's my opinion.

[Other Mummy]

You are not in the wrong Mommy. This client is pushing boundaries. I would just keep my door locked at all times. Have DCG ready. When mom rings doorbell, hand off DCG to mom, bid them good night and take charge of your daycare :)

[Fun&care]

Of course it's wrong of this parent to show up late for pick up. I understand it was after- hours that your hubby was napping, but if it were me I would have told him to nap somewhere else since you were still expecting a client. If she is just walking through the door unexpected, then that's not right either...definitely lock your door. I always do so that I'm never taken unawares. Maybe she wants to come in because she wants to feel as if she is a part of dcg's day. That's the vibe I've gotten from most parents like this.

[Mommy]

See fun & care I could see that if the child wasn't in daycare almost ten and a hand hours a day then for a few hours on the day she's not supposed to be here. When her mom says she will be here at four I have her daughter ready then I end up texting at 4:30 to see if she is not coming till five then magically she appears. When my oldest child was in daycare before I opened my own I rushed to see him cause I missed him and felt bad leaving him as long as I had.

[Trace of Angels]

OK so FUNNY story. When I first opened my daycare all of my parents came in. I was downstairs with the kids and told them to always just come on in.......not thinking very swiftly I might add! One day when the kids were running around and I had to pee as I always do with the door right open and in walked a daycare dad ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I had a conversation with all parents after that. They now must knock and ring the door bell before they enter my house so I at least have a warning to pull up my pants LOL!!!!
It's amazing how quickly they forget that this is my home and I still live here with my family and I have the right to pee with the door open if I want to in my own home otherwise I will have five little pairs of feet right there in the bathroom with me and who has room for that right???
The poor daycare dad he knocks, rings and says hello three times before he comes down now!!!

[fruitloop]

I wouldn't be opening my door to let her in until 7. Does she how up at the grocery store 10-15 minutes early and expect to get in to start her shopping? I'm thinking not. Keep our door looked and don't open it unil you open. This parent is taking advantage of you and you need to put an end to it. I would change your policy to have late fees starting at your closing time and do not open early unless you are being paid extra or it.

Do you get paid for her coming on the day she is not scheduled to be there?

[cfred]

I may be weird, but I don't mind parents coming right in. Actually, I kind of like it. Of course, I don't have a husband on the scene, so that probably makes a difference. But my teen boys and adult daughter quite like it as well. Most of my clients will often take their shoes off and come in for a little chat and visit. I've always told them that I have an open door policy...don't even knock. My kids haven't been concerned about it either. One day, I was upstairs in my bedroom with the baby girl who's been with me since she was 3 months old. I had a date and took her with me to pick out an outfit as she was the last one. Mom came in, the kids told her I was up in my room, so up she came and we sat on my bed and had a nice visit while playing with her daughter. It was lovely and never occurred to me that it wasn't ok. I've just always been very open and have always had my home open to clients and friends. Must be the hayseed in me :)

Everyone has their own preferences and boundaries. I've just always loved the openness of my home/business. Thank goodness I've not had a bathroom incident like Trace of Angels! Ugh....how horrifying! My powder room is right by the front door and I can see through the window whether anyone's here. I too pee with the door open, with my little entourage all standing at the gate cheering me on...lol....

Oh, and the showing up early??? No freakin' way! If you open at 7, do not unlock your door till then. And maybe consider changing your late/early policy in your contract. That's ridiculous!

[playfelt]

I think this sort of goes with the discussion we had about whether we show the family bedrooms where a playpen might be put for a baby to sleep in and it was more or less divided between those that felt that should be part of the tour and those that felt since this is first and foremost a home and a daycare second that it was ok to maintain a certain amount of privacy. I have one dad that just walks in and he is for the last child picked up so it does catch me every once in awhile cause it can vary but 10-15 minutes. Mostly I am busy in the kitchen but he can only come into the entranceway as I have a baby gate up into the house. He enters and yells hi. The mom rings the bell and waits even if the door is unlocked. The other two older siblings are in daycare centres and dad does the pickups too usually so just assuming that he is doing them all the same while mom recognizes me as in my home. I love my baby gate by the door.

[Mommy]

Bahahaha oh my trace of angels. You poor thing. No fruit loop I don't get paid extra for the day she's not suppose to be here and she comes. I just see it as a bonus when she doesn't cause she's already paying for a full time spot. Cfred I understand where your coming from. My husband is very much on the private home side and I agree that I don't want people walking through my home. My focus is the kids not the parents so when one comes in and walks whoever they feel like not talking to me just walking around I get kind of irritated. Playfelt I thought of a baby gate at the door too actually. Did the parents ask why you have it there ? I have a feeling she would just move it or climb over anyways. Ugh.

[playfelt]

I have a small entranceway where we have a cupboard for cubbies and a bench/hooks for the kids coats. I have a seasonal display and calendar and stuff on the wall and we use the back of the door (metal so use magnets to clip receipts, notes. etc.) The gate separates that area from the rest of the house. The gate was there when they came for interviews and was closed behind them after they entered the house. It stops the kids from getting to the door and babies from crawling where there is dirt, snow, salt from outside etc.

I open it to answer the door and only the child whose parent is there is allowed out - I stand in the doorway and turn anyone else away saying it isn't their turn yet. Everyone always comes to see who it is so parents get to see the other kids and will talk to them too or comment on something like oh nice to see Z walking. It is very much a family daycare at my house.

[Mommy]

See I like that idea. My house is open and there is no hall dividing my porch from the living room. All the kids run and are practically stepping on the parents. I'm going to put a long gate across. Hopefully she gets the hint and my little ones won't get stepped on.

[Crayola kiddies]

That was going to be my suggestion .... A gate ..... I have a larger entranceway and I found a gate with a swinging door that fits larger openings and it generally keeps the parents out however my daycare space is separate and in my basement ... Parents enter thru the garage and so no one is ever in my personal space. ..... As for the pick ups and drop offs I would not open my door before I open. I have a light in my stairway and my families are told if the light is not on I am not open yet. I would tell her flat out that I don't open till 7 so please don't ring the bell/knock before that time and post a note on your door saying that your late fee policy is changing and there is no longer a 15 minute grace period and late fees will be charged starting at 5:01 at $1/ min for the first 10 mins and $2/min after the first 10 mins and the late fee is required at pickup in cash no exceptions......This woman has some nerve showing up outside of your operating hours. I think she is disrespectful and I would be advertising to replace her ASAP.

[Judy Trickett]

Oh I do. I've done that but her daughter is potty training and pees or poops through right as her mother shows up so she just walks right in.

She does it because you are allowing her to do it. Just tell her to stop it. Have a diaper and wipes at the front door. If her kid poops she can change them right there.

Why is your door not locked?

[mimi]

Part of the security system I have in my home is that the doors and windows (bedroom) will chime when opened. This way I am never surprised by a parents sudden appearance and I will call out "we are coming" to let them know to stay put. I always have my door locked except for pick ups, as my hubby is home.

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

In response to your original comment about how the daycare child soils herself at pick-up time - maybe you get him/her completely ready to go, (dressed, coat and boots on, backpack loaded) and wearing a pull up- just so that you can hand him/her off without the added delay of a change ? It sounds like you're already putting in a long day - the pull up shouldn't undo any potty training progress that they've made so long as Mum or Dad takes it off right away when they get home.

[bright sparks]

Mommy, It sounds like you have some issues with this family and really the only way to stop this from happening is to take control of the situation. Did this family sign a contract? If so, then you need to tell this mother the very next time you see her that her hours are 7-4 and that she can not show up early or late. If she is only till 4 how is it that she thinks that she will only start to be charged for late pick up at 5:15? Sounds like I'm missing some info there. If you would prefer her not to wander around the house then tell her! She probably doesn't think shes doing anything wrong. Our opinions and values aren't always the same and unless you say something to her then she won't stop and you will continue to be irritated by this woman. Regardless of whether other providers do or don't mind parents wandering through the house, you don't like it, so don't stand for it anymore. Politely remind her that this is not only a home daycare but is your private home and you would prefer it if at drop off and pick up she stayed at the front door/hallway area and as Judy said keep diapers and wipes at the front door. You are allowing her to do these things so you are the only one who can stop it. Open door doesn't work for me at all. If a parent wants to call in during the day they are quite welcome to call ahead to ask so I can make a decision based on our activities on that day as to whether it will be disruptive or not. I actually have it in my contract that the door will always be locked and they should not ever try to enter my house unannounced or without permission. Yes this is a daycare but it is also my home and is not a shop open to all members of the public.

[sunnydays]

Hearing now that the parent is early to drop-off and late to pick-up...no, I would not be okay with her coming in to chat either! In fact, I would not be okay with any of it. I would be giving her a warning of termination if she does not abide by my hours. This is totally disrespectful! I have my system where I let the parents in through the garage when they ring, so they can come into my daycare area and I don't mind if they chat for a bit. However, the last kid to be picked up is different. For him, I take him up and walk with he and his parents to the door and see them out quickly. We can have a quick chat while they put his boots and coat on, but definitely no coming in to hang out! And if they were late, I'd have him by the door with coat on and it would be a quick hand-over of kid. Furthermore, I understand that your rule is that late fees don't apply until 15 minutes before or after hours? Why not change your rule to charging $1 per minute after closing time and for before opening time, just don't open your door. You may be surprised that they can actually make it there on time after all ;) You are allowing the parent to decide on your hours....not fair.

[Mommy]

My door is locked at all times. I would unlock for certain parents that show up at the same time everyday I would unlock it five minutes before. She walks in when I run to grab her daughters soother she seems to misplace right before her mom gets there. Or one of the other dcg grabs it. Then her mom run in Judy.

[Mommy]

I like that bright sparks that its right in your contract.

[Mommy]

Thanks sunnydays. This mom is tricky. Just today she showed up early. Most days late but occasional she shows up an hour early so I of course didn't have everything ready to go. So annoying.

[Momof4]

That client would no longer be at my daycare. An hour early? No way, not here. I do not put up with any disrespect. She isn't tricky, she's rude and walking all over you as if you are her employee. To be blunt, I would be advertising and interviewing to get rid of her as fast as possible. You deserve better and you are a business owner not a nanny!

[DisneyPrincess]

I have my daycare in the basement but my basement is levelled to the backyard because its a walkout... and so it has its own entrance in the back. I unlock the door at 7am sharp since I had a parent walk in 5 minutes earlier. I have no big issues with parents leaving before I close at 5pm they are really fast to leave, they dont hang around, so far !

When my parents enter my daycare I have a door that separate the ''coat'' room and the kitchen area and then another door that enters the playroom. It states in my regime that no parents are aloud to circulate in the daycare for the wellbeing of other children, and I do make sure I mention and they react to the info lol so they know from the start that they can not cross the door to the kitchen area. When I first opened I didnt mentioned it to parents and one did walk right in and took forever for her daughter to AGREE to go, I had a appointment so I HAD to leave at closing, I literally had to say : hum I dont want to be rude but I have to go for a appointment like now so... Yeah she didnt hurry faster but I kindda had to kick her out. Since then, its no pass !!!

When my kids were in home daycares back then, one had her daycare on her main floor and I stayed in the entrance its was math science. Parents are soooo rude !

[mom-in-alberta]

I think her coming in like she owns the place is just part of a larger issue here. She clearly feels like she's "the boss" of you. I don't mean that you're the boss, but it is a partnership. NO MORE ten minutes early and 1hr and 10 min late! I know you said she's only 10 min late, but if she is supposed to be here at 4 and shows up at 5:10, she is over an HOUR late. It's time to nip this in the bud.
I also don't like it when parents wander in. I do understand the desire to see where the child is spending it's day. But I hate feeling like I am caught off guard by a parent walking up behind me or something! I also pee with the door open and would be mortified if someone came in at that exact moment!! LoL
Not to mention, although I tidy up after all the kids are gone, the end of the day can look like a bit of a disaster has occurred. Toys strewn about, dishes in the sink. You know....
I am actually going this weekend to pick up an intercom/doorbell system to remedy this problem! ;)

[Mommy]

Thanks ladies that's how I feel like she's just trying to be in control. I like the mass email idea as well thanks for the ideas. Yes my house is a disaster by the end of the day too so it irritates me she comes in to see it this way ugh