Parent on Vacation

[gcj]

I know that I'm paid to watch kids regardless of what the parents are doing. BUT....if you're on vacation and your kid is going to be here for the full 2 weeks of your vacation, AND be the last one picked up still, PLEASE just don't tell me that you're on vacation!!!! :mad:

Heaven forbid that the parent spend a little time with their child!

[Crayola kiddies]

Cripes .... I had one like that too .... Dad would drop the kid off when I opened and dad was in his jeans so you knew he wasnt going to work and he would give me all the updates on the progress of his deck or what ever the current project was .... Couldn't even spend half an hour having breakfast with his kid and handed me his breakfast in a ziplock .... The kicker?!?!? ...... He alway took his week off the week before I took my holidays .... So he had a nice week alone and mom and the kid took the next two weeks off separately and he went back to work. ..... Great family dynamics !

[gcj]

I mean I get that there are always projects to be done that just can't be accomplished with little one around, but I'm just asking for a little balance.... OR just don't brag that you're on vacation! Then I can't be bitter.

OR....the dad that whined about having to dress TWO kids up to go home...really?!?! Yeah....I feel bad for you. :rolleyes: I dressed up the whole daycare to go outside .... TWICE! And his older one dresses herself! Try that complaint on someone else, please!

[boygirlgirlboy]

Oh I hear you!! I dealt with the EXACT same situation over the Christmas break. Dad was off for two weeks, yet dcb was the first to arrive and the last to go home each and every day.
What really got me was the day both mom and dad came to the door to drop him off. They were going out for breakfast than off to pick out a Christmas tree. That just made me sad. What a perfect time to start a family tradition and build those memories that will last that child forever!!

[gcj]

WHAT!?!?! Picking out a Christmas tree as a happy couple instead of a happy family?!?! Disgusting. sorry, but no other way to say it. What are some people thinking???

[Skysue]

Oh I hear you!! I dealt with the EXACT same situation over the Christmas break. Dad was off for two weeks, yet dcb was the first to arrive and the last to go home each and every day.
What really got me was the day both mom and dad came to the door to drop him off. They were going out for breakfast than off to pick out a Christmas tree. That just made me sad. What a perfect time to start a family tradition and build those memories that will last that child forever!!

I'm curios to ask if these are young or older parents as I have noticed a trend.

[Momof4]

This was one of the things that bothered me about the family I just terminated, there were 100 other things, but the Dad always went home and got changed out his suit and into comfy clothes before pickup which meant a longer day for me with the child that was making me nutso. Not nice. Don't the parents ever think that maybe if they spent time with their child they might not be so temperamental or whatever their problems might be and they might actually be happy little children who know their parents vaue them? It's sad, really sad.

[mom-in-alberta]

Yep. This happened to me yesterday, although mom was supposedly sick. They were dropped off at regular time, and picked up not a minute earlier. I sort of thought, when she said she was home for the day, that there might be an earlier pickup?
I don't blame the parents for thinking "Well, I paid for it already". But it just seems so cold. Why not go do the stuff you need to get done and then take your kids out for ice cream, or to the park?? I understand wanting "me" time. I could use some more of that myself, LoL. I don't begrudge them that. But what's more important?
I had a family when I first started; Mom brought all 3 kids to me at regular time in the AM. I noticed that she wasn't wearing work clothes. Her SON mentions that "Mom's going to the spa today". She looked a little embarrassed, and said she would probably come by a little earlier to pick up at the end of the day. Uh, she was there ONE MINUTE before closing. The kids spent 10 full hours with me, and all 3 of them were old enough to know that mom chose not to be with them. These kids were also going through the divorce of their parents, had just moved to a different province and so badly needed some attention from their mother. So sad.

[gcj]

So sad. And then we wonder what's happening to society! duh! Maybe if parents raised their kids and spent a little time with them!!!! I know that I'm the other extreme and need to think more of myself sometimes, but one day it'll pay off! And I like being with my kids! Imagine!!

Skysue the parents I'm speaking of are in their early 30s....early to mid, I guess.

[Skysue]

I have noticed this and if your too tired to have kids then don't have them. I'm older and there are days where I'm exhausted but my DD is part of it all. I had daycare parents that used to drop off there 1year old baby at 7:00am pick up at 5:00pm then put him to bed at 5:30pm-6:00pm. He never slept at daycare maybe 1/2 to an hour if I was lucky, they had it made as he was asleep for 13 hours a night.

They never got any quality time with him, sooooooo sad. On weekends he would often have sleepovers at the grandparents so they could party!

None of my business but why have kids?

[gcj]

That is sad. I hate those stories.

[Naftafia]

Oh I could relate to everything above. My brother in law, who is also my second neighbour, will come home early 2-3 days a week (anywhere between 2-4pm), however both his kids will be picked up at 4:55-5:00 by my sister. :huh: Although that is enough to bother me (I will never say anything to him because I am being paid), his eldest is my only school pick up in the afternoon... so I will get all the kiddies dressed and walk to school (even during winter storms) to pick him up when his dad is at home playing video games :mad:
They have done this for days off too.... I always have my nephews, even until closing time on Christmas eve! :thumbdown:
But... what can you do? I try to simply enjoy my time with them and ignore the rest!

[boygirlgirlboy]

In my case dad is mid 30's and mom late 20's. Both "professional" and the only parents I have ever had who bring the kid NO MATTER WHAT!! Yes, I'm being paid and I get that...but please spend a little time with your child. Dad gets home from work at 6:30 and dcb goes to bed at 7:00. He's my first one to come and last one to go!
One morning they're walking in as my husband's walking out. My husband asked, "what's wrong with his eye"?..."oh he had a fit because he couldn't have something, hit himself"....well as soon as I got the other dck's organised and brought him down, the kid had pink eye. They totally knew it...but gosh forbid they miss a day of work. Did they not think I was going to call? Why even try to hide it. My blood boils when I think of it.
Oh well, they won't be here much longer. I gave them my notice because of a family obligation that came up. I just couldn't do their hours anymore. I feel for the kid.....

[gcj]

Oh I could relate to everything above. My brother in law, who is also my second neighbour, will come home early 2-3 days a week (anywhere between 2-4pm), however both his kids will be picked up at 4:55-5:00 by my sister. :huh: Although that is enough to bother me (I will never say anything to him because I am being paid), his eldest is my only school pick up in the afternoon... so I will get all the kiddies dressed and walk to school (even during winter storms) to pick him up when his dad is at home playing video games :mad:
They have done this for days off too.... I always have my nephews, even until closing time on Christmas eve! :thumbdown:
But... what can you do? I try to simply enjoy my time with them and ignore the rest!

I couldn't do it! It's one thing to feel bitter and resentful towards dcps, but when it's family? eww...I'd have a hard time getting over it. I'm not good at that stuff!

[crafty]

I also had a family like that ... Mom was working part-time and most of the time she finished at 2h00pm ... Still she was here to pick up at 5h29pm, ALL THE TIME and EVERYDAY. Even when she was not working. This child spent 10 hours with me 7 days/week. I saw Dad once in a year. I just don't get it. I mean once in a while yes ... but ALL the time ?? Why do they have kids... ?

[Sandbox Sally]

Really? I don't begrudge parents of small children wanting a little "me time". The times I get pissed off about it is when either the kid KNOWS the parent is off and ditching them at daycare, or when the parents are still LATE for pick up. I mean, on principle, I think it's a little weird to not want to spend time with your kid, but I also get how hard and tiring it is to have small kids, so if I was paying for daycare, I'd likely send my littles even if I was home. Shrug.

A week's vacation, and you're dropping your kids with me every day? That's just sad and mean. :no:

[sunnydays]

Oh, I can sooooo relate to this thread! I had a family before with two kids with me and they were always the first to arrive and last to leave no matter if the parents were on vacation or not working or whatever. At least they did also take the kids on vacation as well, but it made me sad that they would spend such long days away from their parents needlessly. After that experience, I changed my hours so I wuoldn't be so frustrated having kids stay later when I knew their parents were at home cooking dinner before coming to pick them up.

[Trace of Angels]

Do they pay a mortgage? Do they pay their mortgage no matter how much or how little the use their house? Do they not go on a vacation because they are paying for their house so they might as well use it.............I would guess no. SOOOOO just because they pay for their spot why do they feel they MUST use it?
And don't their children deserve a bit of a vacation as well?
And what about a little break and thank you to their provider who is doing an amazing job at raising their children?
I have heard every excuse in the book, I have to clean the house, they are bored with me, they wanted to come today, they miss their friends...........I think whatever, you are probably right, they probably are better off with me, at least I love them!
With all that being said I found that as soon as I let go of the fact that there are so many different types of parents out there and taught myself to not let it bother me anymore it is just much easier to get on with the day, week and month ahead;)

[gcj]

Really? I don't begrudge parents of small children wanting a little "me time". The times I get pissed off about it is when either the kid KNOWS the parent is off and ditching them at daycare, or when the parents are still LATE for pick up. I mean, on principle, I think it's a little weird to not want to spend time with your kid, but I also get how hard and tiring it is to have small kids, so if I was paying for daycare, I'd likely send my littles even if I was home. Shrug.

A week's vacation, and you're dropping your kids with me every day? That's just sad and mean. :no:

A little "me time" is one thing. The post was started about 2 weeks vacation and the child here full-time the entire 2 weeks! That's not a little me time. That's screwed up priorities.

[Sandbox Sally]

Do they pay a mortgage? Do they pay their mortgage no matter how much or how little the use their house? Do they not go on a vacation because they are paying for their house so they might as well use it.............I would guess no. SOOOOO just because they pay for their spot why do they feel they MUST use it?
And don't their children deserve a bit of a vacation as well?
And what about a little break and thank you to their provider who is doing an amazing job at raising their children?
I have heard every excuse in the book, I have to clean the house, they are bored with me, they wanted to come today, they miss their friends...........I think whatever, you are probably right, they probably are better off with me, at least I love them!
With all that being said I found that as soon as I let go of the fact that there are so many different types of parents out there and taught myself to not let it bother me anymore it is just much easier to get on with the day, week and month ahead;)

:blink: That's a little harsh, no?

[Sandbox Sally]

A little "me time" is one thing. The post was started about 2 weeks vacation and the child here full-time the entire 2 weeks! That's not a little me time. That's screwed up priorities.

For sure. I was commenting on the whole thing, of parents going home to make dinner, or taking kids to daycare on days off, not just about the original post. Other posters before me were doing the same.

I totally agree with you. Please see the last sentence of my post. :)

[playfelt]

Personally I would rather the child stayed in daycare and stayed in routine. Nothing worse than taking two weeks back from vacation to get the child back into routine.

Entertaining kids all day is a lot of work and having a child sitting at home with no one to play with will be expecting the parent to do it and not all parents are good at playing - that is why they go to work at an office and we go to work in the playroom. Also it is no fun for a child to play by themselves at home while parent gets caught up on stuff that has been let go. Ok so what if they go for lunch with a friend. That doesn't mean they didn't spend the morning cleaning out a closet and taking a load of clothes to good will or giving the kitchen cabinets a good scrubbing. Both things that would not be fun or safe to concentrate on with the child underfoot.

And yes if they have to pay us anyways they might as well let us do the playing and feeding and supervising while they do what they want to do. Maybe that is the penalty we have to pay for not letting families not pay if they don't use us. The child in most cases is better off at daycare.

[Wonderwiper]

Honestly...I really don't understand why some posters are upset. Unless you expect a break just because the parent is at home why are you complaining? I am open 10 hours a day and don't care if you use 2 hours or 10, you pay me the same amount. How other parents choose to raise their children and organize their time has nothing to do with me.

[gcj]

I just feel bad for a little 2 year old who's dad has 10 days off and sends his kid all ten days from 8-5. A little balance is all I'm asking for. Maybe A morning??? For the kid?

And yeah...maybe I'm just ever-so-slightly jealous of this so-called "me time". What is that again? :laugh:

[Sandbox Sally]

gcj, how old are your kids? Me time happens again. I promise. My youngest is almost 9 now, and after years of losing myself a little, and having next to no time to myself, I have tonnes of it now. :)

[gcj]

I was kidding around....mostly. I'm getting there. They're 7 and 5. Getting there in between gymnastics and hockey! Actually, that's become my entertainment! :) After being very sick 2 years ago, I learned the importance of me time!

[mom-in-alberta]

I just feel bad for a little 2 year old who's dad has 10 days off and sends his kid all ten days from 8-5. A little balance is all I'm asking for. Maybe A morning??? For the kid?


This.

Because the little two year old in question (very often) grows up to be a hard-to-manage 5 year old. Or an out-of-control teenager. Because I think, for me, what it comes down to is part of a larger picture.
The family I mentioned earlier, with the 3 kids? It was more important for mom to have an entire 10 hours to herself than to spend one extra hour with her kids. They saw that, and I could see in their behaviour what that was doing to them. At a time when they needed her the most, she was entirely focused on herself.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? Maybe. But I, personally, wasn't referring to the parent who *in general* puts the childrens needs before their own. I was referring to a larger pattern of ME-FIRST-parents.
I have little kids right now, and big kids. They are 11, 9, 5 and 1. I miss out on a lot, because I am busy doing their things right now. But the way I see it (and you give me hope here, Alpha!), I have plenty of time to get manicures. They are only this little for a little while.
I guess I just wish other people thought this way, too.

[Momof4]

Today I had a parent with a day off and last week too, they took a day off with their older child but brought baby to daycare. I don't mind one little bit when that happens. This same Mom brought her older child to daycare 3 days/week when she was bonding with her baby. I didn't have any problem with that either. This is a great family and I know they adore their children.

However, my problem family that I mentioned in my first post that ticked me off pushed lots of limits and those are the families that get to us. They have ALL their priorities messed up. The child was the worst behaved and more behind than any other child his age and I truly believe if his parents spent time with him and didn't leave him for 9 hours a day with me even when they were on vacation he might be a happier, better behaved child.

We know these children very well when we spend long weeks with them. We are intelligent women who can see exactly what is happening to the families in our care, they shouldn't underestimate us. They are paying us to raise their children it's true, but I still think they should take the responsibility as parents and BE parents whenever they can. All my other families are like that, the other end of the spectrum and I'm so grateful to have them in my daycare.

[Trace of Angels]

:blink: That's a little harsh, no?

I don't find it a little harsh alphaghetti. I worked for three years in a licensed centre and had so many children that would come every day for 11 hours a day Monday to Friday 52 weeks a year!!!!! Those are the parents that I am talking about. I know it's not every parent but I thought we were talking about the ones that WERE doing this. And it does make me sad. I thought we were entitled to our opinion on here?

[DisneyPrincess]

I didnt read all the posts, but parents on vacation or not... they are aloud to use the daycare so why would they pick up earlier. Yes its sad they dont spend that much time with their kid. In Quebec, I use to pay 7$ a day for daycare. I often had my kids with me, as much as I could, but here in Ontario, its so darn expensive, they want to have their moneys worth I guess. Yes again its sad that its on their child ''expense''.

Parents are tired and exhausted and like their time off alone, I find especially dads. Although we are tired and exhausted... all the way until our closing time, well its the profession we chose right ?!?!

[playfelt]

There is also the aspect of a mental change for the parent from being at work - the reason many left work to open their daycare was the office politics, boss demands, working conditions, etc. To begrudge someone from getting a break from that is not right. Remember it isn't about quantity of time it is quality of time with the children so just hanging out for a whole day while dad goes about resting, watching tv, painting the fence, fixing the toilet, whatever is not the same as playing and learning with friends all day, having a normal nap/feeding schedule and then spending the evening with the parent who has also finished their chores for the day. Could they have picked up early sure but again kids picked up out of order set all of them off. It is selfish on our part is it not to wish that the kids get upset because a dad chooses to pick up early. The parent on vacation has earned that time and does not owe any of it to the daycare provider and really not to their child either - the child's job is to go to daycare. Parents need refreshing too.

As a provider I get that you never get away from your kids but that is your choice. I also get that because I am home all day I can structure my day and night to make things work for me such as doing laundry at naptime or folding a basket of laundry during freeplay - I just tell the kids that is my choice of activity just like they are expected to go choose something to do and when freeplay is over we will all do an activity together. Same thing for my tea time - tea time is my choice of freeplay and if a person doesn't want to be bothered during freeplay other kids have to leave them alone so I deserve the same treatment. Then I have less to do in the evenings and could spend time with me kids - now I get to spend time with my computer and craft supplies cause the kids are older. You will all get to that point too where evenings are your own.

[gcj]

I"m sticking to my original opinion. Tired, chores, mental exhaustion, routine for child. Call it what you want....in two weeks, there HAD to be ONE morning he could have dusted himself off, sucked it up and had some quality time with his kids. One morning, and I would have respected him so much more....just sayin'

Luckily my husband and I have always been on the same page as far as this heated subject goes and has therefore supported me 110% in giving up my old life for this one and at times taking over our home. :p

[momofnerds]

I had a mom who had to decorate her christmas with her children because she didn't want them to touch anything. Or the mom who went to the spa instead of school all the time.

its known as the "me generation" really I can see one day being brought to daycare but not the whole vacation.

[Sandbox Sally]

I don't find it a little harsh alphaghetti. I worked for three years in a licensed centre and had so many children that would come every day for 11 hours a day Monday to Friday 52 weeks a year!!!!! Those are the parents that I am talking about. I know it's not every parent but I thought we were talking about the ones that WERE doing this. And it does make me sad. I thought we were entitled to our opinion on here?

Of course you're entitled to your opinion on here, but I am, too. I think that saying things like, "the kids are better off with me anyway. At least I love them" is harsh. I am fairly certain the daycare parents all love their children. ;)

[Wonderwiper]

I still don't understand why this bothers people. Who cares if a parent is selfish, lazy or whatever reasons you feel they bring their children to daycare? They are not your kids. It's no skin off my back if parents miss out on time with their own children.

[daycaremum]

I don't care what parents are doing when they leave their kid here. But if I know they are home for the day whatever the reason, I ask that they drop off after bus time and pick up at the pick up time of my latest kid. I'm not going to watch one kid for an extra half hour if that parent can come earlier. No one has ever had a problem with my request.

[gcj]

I still don't understand why this bothers people. Who cares if a parent is selfish, lazy or whatever reasons you feel they bring their children to daycare? They are not your kids. It's no skin off my back if parents miss out on time with their own children.

Personally it bothers me because I have grown to care about the kids here and I honestly believe that perschoolers belong with their parents whenever possible. Of course, for many, full time with their kids is not a possibility....I get that. But when you have children it is a full-time life long commitment and while I understand everyone needing some "me" time to recharge their batteries, not spending a few extra hours out of your 80 hour vacation is just plain selfish and it bothers me for the kids' sake.

In all honesty this one kid is kind of the glue that holds my gang together, so it not just a selfish desire on my part to have one less. He's my little animator! ;) It's just sad, but thankfully he doesn't understand that daddy's off work on vacation, but he can't spend a little extra time for one lousy day with him. So, yeah....it does bother me.

I swore I was done posting on this one! :laugh: Now I really am!!

[DisneyPrincess]

I still don't understand why this bothers people. Who cares if a parent is selfish, lazy or whatever reasons you feel they bring their children to daycare? They are not your kids. It's no skin off my back if parents miss out on time with their own children.


Exactly, its sad but not our problem. Again, people are sharing their opinion and I get it. I have that same view of things when it comes to parents who leave their kids in daycare for more then 10 hours or even 52 weeks a year. ITS SAD :(

At least by opening a daycare, I found the way to spend time with MY own grown up girls. If only I could of done that when they were just babies...

[Wonderwiper]

Disney...I agree. I waited a long time for my beautiful girls and spend almost every waking minute with them. I take 'me' time in the evening or on weekends if I need it. I don't judge other parents just because it is something I personally don't believe in.

[sunnydays]

I think for me, it bothers me when I see it effecting the kids in a negative way because they are craving attention from the parents and not getting it. I too totally understand that parents need some time for themselves and I am truly happy for a mom who has a day off and decides to take herself to the spa and recharge her batteries...I actually think this benefits the kids because mom is likely to be in a great mood after that R&R. However, when every day is about "me time" instead of spending time with their kids, that is when the problem comes in. And, although I get that doing chores without little ones around is so much easier and faster, I am actually sad for this generation of kids who NEVER see their parents doing cooking or cleaning and never get to be a part of that. I have always done everythign I need to do with my kids present...they like to help sometimes (my 4.5 year old LOVES to fold laundry and put it away for me and my 2.5 year old LOVES to vaccuum) and other times they entertain themselves while I do the chores. I just see kids growing up with an unrealistic view of life...as in, it ALWAYS revolves around them because parents do the chores, cooking etc before picking up the kids and then when the kids arrive it is all attention on the kids until they go to bed. I am not against giving kids attention, but it is little wonder kids think they are the centre of the universe...parents teach them that they are! I really worry about where our society is heading with this to be honest....

[Artsand crafts]

Me time is ok, but there are parents that seem they want to stay away from their kids (maybe is not the case, but they make it hard to think otherwise). I used to have a teacher when I started with an agency and was open 11 hrs. Everyday the child would stay the 11 hrs with me and occasionally the mom will be late. So the kid will stay up to 12 hours sometimes. He will come during PA days, school vacation days, etc the FULL time. The kid was hitting, pulling hair, etc... I was about to term them when they announced they were leaving. I was very inexperience (I did not even knew other providers) that never had the guts to tell anything (I was even afraid I will loose my other agency kids). After that I kept in touch with the mom for a while. After me, the poor kid was with a nanny (who left after less than 4 months), and 2 daycare centers (where he was asked to leave). Even, when some think that does not affect us, it really does and what about the poor kid? He was aggressive, but I think he escalated his aggression if he could not stay in 2 daycare centers.

[Momof4]

I honestly don't care what a parent is doing while their child is here at daycare as long as they tell me exactly how I can reach them in an emergency. If they are taking a day off it's really nice that they make it a shorter day, say 7 hours instead of 9. I don't judge the parents honestly but don't you think those children know what is going on? Don't you think it affects their behaviour when they know their parent is at home? What I've noticed so far in my HDCP experience is that the most difficult children are the ones who have the least amount of time with their parents. That's just a fact.

[momofnerds]

I think the reason it gets us going so much is because it feels like we are not respected. Think about it, the parents go on vacation and leave their kids with us, why us, why not with gma or auntie or take them with them. Why because they know we won't say anything about it, and how its wrong and this is the reason bobby seems to act up. They know we won't say that its crappy parenting on their part and that they need to spend time with their kids. Thats why they leave the kids with us. No matter what anyone says, I know it bothers all of us.

I'm starting to find it more and more common with people. I have never heard of such nonsense till I started this job. I too have heard all sorts of excuses, but really it comes down to the "me generation" if you think its bad now, imagine the next set of kids, they don't know what the word "no" means. Why is it all of a sudden that parents need me time, when I have bobby 12 hours a day, what makes their job any more stressfull than mine.

[daycarewhisperer]

There is also the aspect of a mental change for the parent from being at work - the reason many left work to open their daycare was the office politics, boss demands, working conditions, etc. To begrudge someone from getting a break from that is not right. Remember it isn't about quantity of time it is quality of time with the children so just hanging out for a whole day while dad goes about resting, watching tv, painting the fence, fixing the toilet, whatever is not the same as playing and learning with friends all day, having a normal nap/feeding schedule and then spending the evening with the parent who has also finished their chores for the day. Could they have picked up early sure but again kids picked up out of order set all of them off. It is selfish on our part is it not to wish that the kids get upset because a dad chooses to pick up early. The parent on vacation has earned that time and does not owe any of it to the daycare provider and really not to their child either - the child's job is to go to daycare. Parents need refreshing too.

As a provider I get that you never get away from your kids but that is your choice. I also get that because I am home all day I can structure my day and night to make things work for me such as doing laundry at naptime or folding a basket of laundry during freeplay - I just tell the kids that is my choice of activity just like they are expected to go choose something to do and when freeplay is over we will all do an activity together. Same thing for my tea time - tea time is my choice of freeplay and if a person doesn't want to be bothered during freeplay other kids have to leave them alone so I deserve the same treatment. Then I have less to do in the evenings and could spend time with me kids - now I get to spend time with my computer and craft supplies cause the kids are older. You will all get to that point too where evenings are your own.I don't agree that it's about quality time. I have worked with a number of families in my two decades of home child care and I can say without a hint of equivocation that the BEST parents are ALWAYS the ones who have QUANTITY time with their children. FACE awake time... not quality time...

[sunnydays]

I actually agree with Daycarewhisperer on this one. I find this whole "quality time" thing a bit ridicululous to be honest. So parents do all of their work, chores, errands etc and hten spend half an hour of "quality time"with the child which is all about teaching him he is the centre of the universe, more important than anything else and parents have nothing else to worry about or do in life than play with their little angels. That was my point with doing chores with children present. Children learn that there is balance. Parents have many things that have to be done. Not every moment has to be focused on the child. Children learn to entertain themselves, to help out, to respect the fact that they are part of the family but not the focus of the family or universe for that matter. It is good to pay attention to kids and do things with them, but unrealistic that this "quality" time should be the ONLY time spent with the kids.

[playfelt]

It's quality in the sense that the parent picks up the child who hasn't seen the parent all day, gets home and says ok kid go watch tv or play by yourself or here's my iphone while I go change my clothes and make supper and put in a tub of laundry. The other option is child stays at daycare and plays with his friends while mom goes home and changes, puts supper in the oven and a tub of laundry in and then comes and gets the child so that when they get home they have time for a one on one cuddle and chat about the day before supper. Both scenerios take the same amount of time. Which one does do you think is going to seem to the child like they are more loved - the parent that is changing and cooking while they watch tv or the one that picks them up a half hour later but takes them home for special one on one time.

[playfelt]

One of the reasons I started doing an item of housework during freeplay goes back to when I had a single mom in care who used to complain that all weekend her son would whine about wanting to come back to my house cause all I did was play with him. I started making them play by themselves during freeplay while I chose my own activity for freeplay so they learned that adults have work to do to and our job in life is not to entertain them and that it is reality to do things like laundry and dusting and not just on Saturdays.