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mlc1982
06-29-2011, 12:07 AM
How do you feel knowing that a parent has a day off but still drops their kid off for care?

waterloo day mom
06-29-2011, 06:30 AM
I have 2 kids that are here on a rotating schedule. Once every 2 weeks they come in when their parents are off. They use it as a day to get stuff done around the house, go to appointments, get the shopping done, etc. I love it because I get paid (yay!) and they usually are picked up early since the parents are not on any schedule.

Spixie33
06-29-2011, 06:32 AM
I have done this as a parent. I would have the day off but book myself a physical or have errands to run or decide to steam clean the carpets in my house so I would still send my child(ren) to their daycare....or I would go have a nice lunch with my husband just the two of us and take in a movie with him and have a date.
I didn't want the daycare to judge me so I would still dress as if I was going to work and drop off as usual.
BUT I would usually go pick up a couple of hours early and use the chance to do a surprise arrival and pickup. That way I still got some extra hours with my child, got to check on the provider too. I would tell the provider I got off early or something.

Of course this would be just a one day or two day a year thing. There were other days where i would have vacation or book days off to be with my kids and just spend a good day with my kids. I would let my provider know and they would still get paid for the day of course. It was worth it. I especially always made sure to take off my kids' birthdays so I could be with them and have a mommy and me day.

I can see why people would need some time to themselves to do errands etc

But now that I am a provider --it has been interesting to flip the coin and see parents blatantly tell me they are off and then still drop off and pick up at the very end of the day. Once I even had two parents have the day off...tell me they are off...and still drop the child off on their birthday just so they could get ready for a party...or parents who still come right at 5 when they have been off all day....but what can you do?:huh:

sunnydays
06-29-2011, 06:35 AM
I have no problem with this...I figure they have paid and it is up to them what they do with the time. I do not judge as I know that some people just need that time to be refreshed and be able to take care of their kids properly.

playfelt
06-29-2011, 07:39 AM
Parents are paying for the day and are entitled to use it. My only requirement is that you be honest with me and make sure I know how to reach you. Now that cell phones are so prevalent it isn't as much of an issue but what is the point of calling a parent at work and leaving a message on their answering machine only to find out they won't be into the office all day and will never know why you were trying to reach them. I remind the parents that while we all like days off that I make myself available to them and do not take working days off to just do my own thing. As such I expect honesety, availability by cell phone and appreciate the perk of them picking up early. I would be very hurt if a parent felt they had to deceive me. On the other hand it makes for a better day for the child if the child thinks the parent is going to work as normal. As for coming early to check up on us - that is where the honesty works in my favour - I know what days a parent might come early. Also I have parents that when they are off will come early and hang out with us to play for a bit and I like most of my parents. I love the adult conversation that goes with it. I have a parent on mat leave that will likely come by after naptime and hang out with us as she kept the car today since baby has a doctor's appointment. She asked me this morning if it was ok. The baby will start care with me in Sept so it is nice to have the child come as often before too. Guess a lot depends on the parents you have if you can stand to have them around. We are usually outside at the end of the day and it isn't uncommon for kids not to want to go when the parents come and the first parents are still around chatting when the last ones come.

mamaof4
06-29-2011, 08:05 AM
I have done it. Running errands with kids takes 2x as long.

Judy Trickett
06-29-2011, 08:33 AM
How do you feel knowing that a parent has a day off but still drops their kid off for care?


I hate it. I don't understand it.

But, I have resigned myself to just accept it. If I got upset every time a parent dumped their child in daycare while they are off to just go home or have a ME day etc etc I would be angry all the time. Not worth my time.

BCParent
06-29-2011, 10:42 AM
I hate it. I don't understand it.

But, I have resigned myself to just accept it. If I got upset every time a parent dumped their child in daycare while they are off to just go home or have a ME day etc etc I would be angry all the time. Not worth my time.

This is how I feel. Exactly. Mainly because if I need a day, I get the 'But what am I going to do? I depend on you. I need you. My kid needs to go to daycare as it's part of their routine. How come you need a day off? I have to go to work. I have no one to take the kids if you don't. etc., etc.' routine which is NOT FAIR. I'll take your kid so you can have a 'me' day because you're paying me but have a little courtesy not to complain if I need to recharge once in a blue moon, you know?

Skysue
06-29-2011, 12:36 PM
I hate it. I don't understand it.

But, I have resigned myself to just accept it. If I got upset every time a parent dumped their child in daycare while they are off to just go home or have a ME day etc etc I would be angry all the time. Not worth my time.

I have been on both sides of the spectrum so I do understand as a working Mom that it hepls to power clean with out a child. I did do it once or twice when my little one was in care but let me tell you I only dropped her off at daycare for like 3 hours! The guilt I felt really sucked. For parents that can do it for a full day I think it's really selfish.

I have parents that pick up ther little one at 5:15 take him home feed him dinner then put him to bed at 6:30 until 6:30am. That makes me feel really sad! :( Why have kids then!

daycare woman
06-29-2011, 12:45 PM
Oh Judy I felt the same way, and have also learned to except but still don't have to like it! But don't pick your kids up at 5:00 or after cause boy that tickes me off. Really, come on.... breathe....

sunnydays
06-29-2011, 12:46 PM
I don't know why many providers are angered by this! If the parent went to work the child would be in daycare anyway...if they want to do something else it doesn't make a difference to the child or to me as a provider as long as they are still picked up by the regular time. If they want to spend extra time with the child that's wonderful, but if they maybe need to rest or do some errands, maybe the child is better off at daycare than with a stressed out, burnt out parent.

Judy Trickett
06-29-2011, 12:56 PM
Oh Judy I felt the same way, and have also learned to except but still don't have to like it! But don't pick your kids up at 5:00 or after cause boy that tickes me off. Really, come on.... breathe....

Yeah, I always find that parents always tend to pick up the kids at the last possible minute I am open when they are off work.

Skysue
06-29-2011, 12:56 PM
I don't know why many providers are angered by this! If the parent went to work the child would be in daycare anyway...if they want to do something else it doesn't make a difference to the child or to me as a provider as long as they are still picked up by the regular time. If they want to spend extra time with the child that's wonderful, but if they maybe need to rest or do some errands, maybe the child is better off at daycare than with a stressed out, burnt out parent.

Well said! It's really hard to make jusdments when you haven't walked a day in someone elses shoes!

Judy Trickett
06-29-2011, 12:58 PM
I don't know why many providers are angered by this! If the parent went to work the child would be in daycare anyway...if they want to do something else it doesn't make a difference to the child or to me as a provider as long as they are still picked up by the regular time. If they want to spend extra time with the child that's wonderful, but if they maybe need to rest or do some errands, maybe the child is better off at daycare than with a stressed out, burnt out parent.

I actually think the kids have a hard time with it. I do. Kids are very perceptive. They KNOW when the smallest bits of the routine are off. So, when a parent does this my experience has been that the child is a bit "off" that day. The child KNOWS. And we get to deal with that child all day who is "off" and noticing the change.

I don't know. I guess I just cherish my time with my kids. If I had to be away from them 50 hours a week I would want every extra second I could get with them.

FS2011
06-29-2011, 01:19 PM
It really annoys me only because if I close down for a day to get stuff done it effects 4 families! So it would be super nice to at least make it a half day for me and lighten my load. That said, I'm being paid so I get it, but it's the frustrating part of this job!

Marie
06-29-2011, 01:35 PM
I don't know. I guess I just cherish my time with my kids. If I had to be away from them 50 hours a week I would want every extra second I could get with them.

I feel the exact same way. I cherish every day with my daughter and if I had to leave her to go to work, I sure wouldn't be leaving her in daycare longer than I can avoid. Both sets of parents that are with me right now do this. I personally don't get it or would ever do this, no matter how hard it might be to clean with my kids. In the long run they are the ones missing out on such a precious time that goes by way too fast.

Spixie33
06-29-2011, 04:13 PM
WOW there sure seem to be strog feelere about this. I have been in both sides of teh spectrum too and understand both sides but I think it is kind of irrational for a provider to expect that the parent keeps a child home every single vacay day,. I can understand and would hope they would do some but not all.

From the parents poinbt of view....they are paying for the day regardless and that affects their decision too.

I have a parent who just approached me and told me that they will be off one day a week all summer long. This parent said that they will still send their DCK to daycare as normal UNLESS I decide to not get paid for that day and then the parent would 'be glad to' keep the dck home with them on one day a week until Sept.

So...the parents do seem to want time with their kids but it seems they also want something for their money. It is a toughie. I feel like saying a flat out no to this parent but on the other hand I feel like a monster if I am denying this child more time with their parent based on my finances.
Grrrrr

I have done it and left my child with daycare when I was off (as per my earlier post) but I always thought it was good to come pick up early those days to see my child. I didn't really care if I was giving the daycare person a break - I did it because I felt bad not to use at least some of the day for more quality time.

BCParent
06-29-2011, 04:52 PM
I don't know why many providers are angered by this! If the parent went to work the child would be in daycare anyway...if they want to do something else it doesn't make a difference to the child or to me as a provider as long as they are still picked up by the regular time. If they want to spend extra time with the child that's wonderful, but if they maybe need to rest or do some errands, maybe the child is better off at daycare than with a stressed out, burnt out parent.

It's they hypocracy I have a problem with. God forbid I ever said I was taking a personal day let alone when I closed because I had to go for some very invasive medical testing - the grumbling and complaining about how hard it is for them to make alternate arrangements is ridiculous. I was even asked if I could take one anyway because it would be easier for them. Hello?! So yeah, I have a problem with parents dropping their kids whether they pay or not and whining when I need a day.

Spixie33
06-29-2011, 05:02 PM
It's they hypocracy I have a problem with. God forbid I ever said I was taking a personal day let alone when I closed because I had to go for some very invasive medical testing - the grumbling and complaining about how hard it is for them to make alternate arrangements is ridiculous. I was even asked if I could take one anyway because it would be easier for them. Hello?! So yeah, I have a problem with parents dropping their kids whether they pay or not and whining when I need a day.

But the parent has gone through all the channels to get their vacay day approved.....their have probably had to fill out a day off request, get it signed by two managers and gotten the approval. It is not much easier for parents to get the day off than it is for providers.
Also parents have only a certain number of vacay days i.e 10 per year and they may have already planned those out or used them up and not taken into count that you might have an emergency day or a personal day you need.
I always try to give parents 4 week's notice of any day I need to be closed. Doctor appts are usually booked far in advance and same with dentists etc. I have never had a parent grumble as long as they are given notice. Of course...for emergencies I have had to call the night before and heard their tone sound a little stressed but all parents are told there could be an emergency i.e sickness, funeral, death and they are unavoidable.

Skysue
06-29-2011, 05:17 PM
WOW there sure seem to be strog feelere about this. I have been in both sides of teh spectrum too and understand both sides but I think it is kind of irrational for a provider to expect that the parent keeps a child home every single vacay day,. I can understand and would hope they would do some but not all.

From the parents poinbt of view....they are paying for the day regardless and that affects their decision too.

I have a parent who just approached me and told me that they will be off one day a week all summer long. This parent said that they will still send their DCK to daycare as normal UNLESS I decide to not get paid for that day and then the parent would 'be glad to' keep the dck home with them on one day a week until Sept.

So...the parents do seem to want time with their kids but it seems they also want something for their money. It is a toughie. I feel like saying a flat out no to this parent but on the other hand I feel like a monster if I am denying this child more time with their parent based on my finances.
Grrrrr

I have done it and left my child with daycare when I was off (as per my earlier post) but I always thought it was good to come pick up early those days to see my child. I didn't really care if I was giving the daycare person a break - I did it because I felt bad not to use at least some of the day for more quality time.

All I can say is that days where I left my DH for a few hours at the daycare inorder to power clean it gave me a full afternoon of 100% alone time with my little one! Otherwise I would have had a day of cleaning with only giving her 1/2 of my attention. I just wish my daycare parents felt the same way! All I can say is some people will have major regrets down the line as they are only little once!

mom-in-alberta
06-29-2011, 09:34 PM
My personal feelings on this issue: depend on the parents I am dealing with.
I understand that they have "paid" for the day. I also understand that it is waaaaay easier to get things done without munchkins tagging along. I had a dad drop off a while ago and outright tell me he was going home and going back to bed, since he was sick as a dog. I am fine with this, since usually it means a later drop-off or an earlier pick-up.
It bothers me if the kids are bothered by it. Last summer I had a mom who had 3 kids in my care, and took a day off. Fair enough. She called that morning and said she'd probably be about a half hour later than usual dropping off. Fair enough. She showed up within 5-10 min of the usual time, which is fine, but why would you call and tell me otherwise?? (Also, I was gleeful that I might enjoy my morning cup of coffee in peace and silence, lol) She then told her kids she had a spa appointment, kissed them good bye and did not come back for 10 hours. I mean, she still picked them up at 5:29pm!! (As late as she could, basically)
These kids had just gone through their parents divorce, moved provinces and schools and were SCREAMING (sometimes quite literally) for attention from their parents. All of them were of the age to know that mom was not working that day, and still chose not to be with them. Not even for an extra hour or two.
That bothers me. :(

cloverof4
06-29-2011, 10:36 PM
I saw more of this when I worked at a group center and it used to tick me right off. Now that I am at home and hand pick my Families I dont see much of it. My families for the most part have the same values as I do. I have also been in the parents shoes and a single parent. 99% of the time as soon as I could pick up my child I would sometimes because of my job I would pick up my child and bring her back to work for a couple of hours and she could help me ( I was lucky to do this I know) the point is I had children they are mine to raise and I like them. I have had experience like a few of you have said those chronic parents that abuse the day and are even Late for pick upon days that that have off. Thats the kind of thing that is sad and frustrating.I am Lucky with my familes we work well together and we give and take on both sides. Have even had a Mom tell me I should take some time for Myself and not because I was burnt out but because she thought I deserved it.

BCParent
06-30-2011, 02:01 AM
But the parent has gone through all the channels to get their vacay day approved.....their have probably had to fill out a day off request, get it signed by two managers and gotten the approval. It is not much easier for parents to get the day off than it is for providers.
Also parents have only a certain number of vacay days i.e 10 per year and they may have already planned those out or used them up and not taken into count that you might have an emergency day or a personal day you need.
I always try to give parents 4 week's notice of any day I need to be closed. Doctor appts are usually booked far in advance and same with dentists etc. I have never had a parent grumble as long as they are given notice. Of course...for emergencies I have had to call the night before and heard their tone sound a little stressed but all parents are told there could be an emergency i.e sickness, funeral, death and they are unavoidable.

I call bull. Lots of people call in 'sick' and then take a day for themselves because they feel entitled. So they don't always go through proper channels to schedule a vacation day or a personal day. It is not my problem that a daycare family is not prepared to think that I should have the same benefits and rights as they do especially when it's in my policy manual and they signed off on it. I give as much notice as possible but that doesn't stop the grumbling from some. My medical testing was no surprise to the one family. They had nearly 4 months notice like the rest. They just don't care.

So you are very lucky to have such wonderful and understanding families. I do not always.

mlc1982
06-30-2011, 02:22 PM
Wow, this is quite a toss up. I have been on both sides of the fence and I personally don't agree with parents dropping their kids off when they have a day off ...at least not for the full day. If it's for an appointment or something, totally understandable. When it's to go home and rest, not understandable. If you have errands or cleaning to do, fine, do it and come pick up early.

The family in particular that I was thinking of when I asked this question is the type that drop their kid off as early as possible and pick her up as late as possible when they are off. Mom is home right now, there's a new baby AND grandma is visiting. Obviously this child knows that she could be at home but is sent here anyways. It's a struggle to get her in the door every morning. I know I get paid either way but I just find it cruel to the child. The parents talk about how she's been acting out at home and I don't blame her.

When I had DD#1 at a day home, I cherished any extra time I had with her. DH picked her up early because he was off earlier than most people every day. Any time I had a day off, she was with me. Unless I had an appointment (was pregnant with #2 at the time) I picked her up early. As it's already been mentioned, I think kids sense when something is different and then we are the ones who have to deal with it. Not fair!

I am very lucky though to have the majority of my families appreciate the extra time with their kids. I have one little guy today basically for nap time while mom is attending a funeral. I also had another little one this morning for a few hours. He was dropped off late and then picked up super early since dad just had an appointment and then mom got off early. I love these families!!

Sandbox Sally
07-03-2011, 12:27 PM
If we are being paid to care for a child, how is it any of our business what the parent is doing when their child is safe and sound at our home in a paid spot? It says nothing in my contract regarding the mandatory whereabouts of a parent while their child is with me.

Having said that, PERSONALLY if I was away from my kids for 50+ hours every week, I would spend every extra minute I had with them...but that would be my choice.

Judy Trickett
07-04-2011, 07:07 AM
I think that a lot of providers get upset about this because they feel for the kids. It has NOTHING to do with the provider not wanting to 'work' that day etc. Because, let's face it; having four kids still here because one kid is out is hardly being "off".

I know that I had a set of twins in care for three years (they are gone now). They were the whiniest kids EVER. And their parents hardly ever spent time with them. Anyway, in the THREE years they were here, other than days they were SICK, those kids had ONE day off with their parents! ONE DAY!

Their parents had a combined 14 weeks vacation a year. So, out of FOURTEEN WEEKS - that is SEVENTY DAYS - or TWO HUNDRED AND TEN DAYS OFF IN THREE YEARS - they spend ONE freaking day with those kids.

Sorry, but THAT I have a problem with. And, sadly, it's not all that uncommon for a kid to go to daycare all but one or two days a YEAR when the parents clearly have a number of WEEKS off of paid vacation.

I have another kid whose parents have a combined 8 weeks off a year. She'll be lucky to have them keep her home three days a YEAR.

NOT acceptable!

How do you NOT get upset by that for the kids feelings alone??

mom-in-alberta
07-04-2011, 03:33 PM
Alphagetti; I totally agree that, in theory, it is none of our business what mom and dad do in their time, when they have paid for care, and expect it. I don't begrudge someone who needs to get some things done, or has appointments, etc and still makes use of my services. As I mentioned, most of the time that means the kiddos come later, leave earlier, or both!
Like Judy said though, it becomes my business somewhat, when their children are affected by it. Would I say anything? Nope. But should I feel like the family's personal values don't mesh with mine, and that there may be problems because of it, I would start to consider saying good bye. I do what I do for a career because I had children so that I could spend time with them. Although I don't judge a parent who chooses to work outside the home, (heck, who would pay me if all moms stayed home??) I cannot fathom spending 40 working hours and another 10 or more commuting hours away from my kids and then give up chances to squeeze some more time in with them.
I don't know if it's a shift in our societal values (parents aren't accepting the fact that when we have children we give up at least SOME of our "ME" time) or if it's a money thing, in that we feel like we have to get value out of every last little penny we spend on a care provider.
Judy; that churns my stomach. You're right in that it's not for us that we get all fired up. I am still here, working. Unless by some fluke, ALL of the children in my care end up having time off on the same days. Yeah, that'll happen! It's because we see firsthand the effects of parents not putting in the extra effort to spend time with their own kids.

mamaof4
07-04-2011, 07:37 PM
The parents who hardly ever spend time with their kids I do not get. I just don't. We just got back from a 4 day weekend at the lake house, water skiing, boating, jet skiing, swimming and sand fun it was great. My kids are awesome, but I think they are awesome because I spend time with them and play with them.

Sandbox Sally
07-05-2011, 10:11 AM
Perhaps I misinterpreted the question...

Yeah I think most of us are on the same page here, re spending the extra time with our children - most of us here started doing daycare so that we could spend every minute possible with ours.

I remember watching a 20/20 or something a few years back, and there was a whole panel (15+ people) of mothers who said that the main reason they work outside the home is NOT for the money, but for the break they get from their children. Nice.

Emilys4Guppies
07-05-2011, 12:02 PM
I also have awesome kids that I can't get enough of. :)

We went to a wedding this weekend and I said to a girlfriend that I missed the kids. My girlfriend said, "Oh we left G at daycare this weekend! His provider takes him during off hours too...isn't that great? We're leaving him until Sunday night to really get a break. Your'e an earth goddess...I'm not that kind of mom. At least the daycare lady says he's well-behaved THERE which is more than he is with me." Oy, poor baby!!! At daycare Monday-Thurs 7-5:30 and then from Friday at 7am until Sunday at 5:30pm. Only to go back again Monday morning at 7. Friends got home from the wedding Sat night but needed the sunday free for their sanity, I suppose. It's a shame.

Marie
07-08-2011, 11:51 AM
I have one family where the mom has different shifts and some days only starts at 3pm but still drops off her child at 7:45. Yesterday she was having a ''fun'' day with her mother and was going to drop off her child for only a ''couple of hours''. The whole day came and went and she came at her regular time and didn't even mention anything at all. Meanwhile, here I am all day waiting and trying to plan activities. I think from now on I am going to tell her I need a specific time. This isn't the first time this happens. I don't stay indoors all day so it's not like I am here whenever she might feel like stopping by. I just thought that if I had done that I would be ashamed.

lilac
07-12-2011, 08:00 PM
I had a very hard time with this when I first started daycare, I had to work hard to resign myself to accept it b/c after all , they are paying me. When I worked I worked 4 days a week, I HAD to pay for my spot for 5 days a week no matter what, but I never sent them on my day off.... why would I? It killed me to put them in daycare and have to go back to work (which is why I"m now doing daycare) and I refused to lose that time that I could have with them, no matter what errands I had to do. And yes, I hate the guilty feeling I get (from some, not all my parents) when I want or need a day off for whatever reason.

SO, I do have a problem with it, however, I have resigned to suck it up! :)

sunnydays
07-13-2011, 01:00 PM
I agree with Alphagetti that it is none of our business, but then I have never encountered parents like the ones Judy described who never keep their kids home with them...I am certain that this situation would upset me for the child's sake as well. However, I would not say anything as it is the parent's choice...unless the child were old enough to tell me that they wished they were home with mom and dad...then I would certainly pass that comment along and hope it had some effect!

playfelt
07-13-2011, 01:14 PM
There is another aspect of parents sending their kids on days off. To a certain extent we should take it as a compliment. The parent feels the child is getting more out of coming to our preschool than they would if they stayed home with the parent. Same reason I have had a child here full time all year while mom is home on mat leave. If the child was in school and the parent was off they wouldn't just pull them out of school for the day so them may be looking at it that way too. At least we can tell ourselves that and maybe it will boost our ego instead of annoying us that the kid is with us instead of the parents.

lilac
07-14-2011, 08:25 PM
I dont know, I think its sad if a mom is home on mat leave for another baby to continue to drop her child off at daycare full time. Of course, you wouldnt pull them out of school, but they have to go to school, but they dont HAVE to go to daycare and that is precious time you will never get back. Its great if they are getting a great deal out of the daycare program, but dont you think they would also get a lot out of being with their mom, and sibling too? Just my opinion....

I know daycare is my source of income and without it I'd not be able to be home with my own kids, but I just dont think there is anyone better than your own parents. If you are able to make it work (and I know some cant), then why wouldnt you? If you are home on mat leave, why would you waste money on fulls time daycare, AND not enjoy the time with your older children at the same time? Again, just my opinion! :)

lilac
07-14-2011, 08:44 PM
I also want to add that I used to look after two sisters who desprately wanted their mom to be home with them, mom constantly talked (to me and them) about opening her own daycare etc etc but never did, instead she changed jobs that kept her away from them for increasingly longer hours (the further in the city she went, the more money she got paid, but also, the more commuting time it took). They are no longer with me i/ because of escalating behaviour problems, and ii/ b/c I will not do the hours she wants (the new provider gives them dinner!!). Anyhow, from chatting with the new provider (a friend of mine) their behaviour has gotten way more out of hand (stealing, hitting, lying to their mom about their provider) etc, etc. They still to this day when I see them at school, say how excited they are b/c their mom is going to start a home daycare and they will get to stay home with her all the time. When they were with me I spent a great deal of time trying to explain to them why their mom has to work, why she's so busy on the weekend, etc, etc, etc.... so again, as much as it is a compliment that parents feel their kids get so much from daycare, kids NEED their parents just as much, if not more! :) again.... IMO! ;)

playfelt
07-15-2011, 08:07 AM
I have a child with me full time while mom is on mat leave and another about to start when his sibling is born later this month. What the moms feel is that they would be so busy with the new baby and bathing, feeding, etc. bound by sleep schedules that the child would have a lot of down time to entertain themselves. Instead they are at my house playing with friends, learning, etc doing things at their level. It also gives the mom a chance to catch up on sleep lost and housework done so that as soon as the child is picked up at night then mom is able to devote the evening to just the first child. It is working out well for them and child is totally fine with it. His sibling will start into daycare end of August. The mom has done some mommy and me classes with the baby like swimming, etc. that she wouldn't be able to do with the older child around unless they went into the gym daycare or whatever so many moms want to give to their subsequent children all of the advantages they gave to their firstborn. As the mom of 4 I can totally see how each child was effected - missed out, changed circumstances as each new child came along.

lilac
07-15-2011, 05:51 PM
To each his own I suppose. I managed w/ 2 kids under 2 years old, without daycare and I dont feel my either of them missed out on anything b/c there was more than one child. I can understand 1 or 2 days in daycare, but I just dont understand full time....

playfelt
07-15-2011, 08:19 PM
It seems to me that with each year that passes there is more and more pressure on moms to do stuff for their babies like massage and baby and me yoga, and swimming, gymboree, music etc and there is a limited number of those classes that allows an adult to take two children as many are one adult one child. Do the babies need these things probably not. I think it is more moms that are not prepared to be away from other adults for 12 months that crave the outings. And that is why we stay home and do daycare and other moms go to work and leave their children with us. Not everyone is cut out to be a daycare provider. We do see the world a lot different than other parents do.

mom-in-alberta
07-16-2011, 12:43 AM
I think it's interesting how many passionate replies this thread got.... and most of them with the same general consensus. In my opinion, it goes to show how much we all care about the well-being of the kids we care for. Nice to know that so many providers really give-a-darn, you know?
I, personally, would not even think of putting my child in full time care while on mat leave. Part time, maybe. But the idea that mom is tired, and has other stuff to do, does NOT fly with me. I am on my fourth child (soon) and that is the reality of having more kids, sorry!!! Again, I revisit the idea that maybe we as a whole are not valuing the role parents actually have in the lives of our own kids as much as we used to. Much more important to go to the gym and the nail place and have coffee with our friends than the unglamorous job of actually parenting.
Sheesh, sorry ladies, I tend to go on about this subject.... :)

lilac
07-16-2011, 07:27 AM
playfelt and mom in alberta.... thats exactly how I feel, although I wasnt all that great at saying that!!! LOL!!!

Sarah
07-16-2011, 10:55 AM
Doing daycare, that is what was the hardest for me to accept. I had 2 babies in my care, one of 11 months and one of 9. The parents of the 11 months old baby was here 10 minutes after work, keeping her home when off work, that was great for the kid. But the 9 month old baby was ALWAYS at my house. And he was so happy when his mommy would arrive you know! A huge smile on his face. I was doing my best with him, but I wasn't his mommy. He loved me, was attached to me, but still you could see the sparks in his eyes when his mommy would be there.

I had to go back to work, and then sent my little 2 1/2 years old girl to my best friends daycare. It was killing me to send her from 7h30 to 5h30 monday to friday. She was happy to go, but I could see the same sparks in her eyes at 5h30. Why oh why did I chose to go back to work. I finally got really sick. Had to stop working, almost had to go to the hospital, I didn't want to go back home, to go back to my life as it was, I didn't want to see my husband, my kids, my family or my friends anymore.

So I quit my job, went for a coffe with my daycare provider(best friend) and explained to her that I was out of work. That I quit. But still, I would need her full time, since at that moment I couldn't take care of my kids. I felt so guilty. My daughter knew I wasn't going to work. So asked EVERYDAY to stay with me. When her dad took her do DC in the morning, I would cry myself out.

My provider never judged me. I will always be greatfull of her for that.

As soon as I felt better though, I kept my daughter with me. Went to pick her up earlier. But she was truly better off at the daycare. I was then a really boring mommy. I was absent minded! She would talk to me, I could see her looking at me and waiting for an answer, but it wouldn't make it through my lips, or even my brain.

So after a while, SHE was requesting to go to daycare. She was then 3 and she screamed and cried when her dad was leaving for work because he was not taking her to DC.

So I guess all situations are different.

But what I cannot accept is to see the eyes of a kid who KNOWS mommy or daddy aren't working and that kid is not with them. I can feel their pain! And I can truly say that re-opening daycare now, this is what I am most scared off. So my first question to parents is this one. I want to know what they think about paying and NOT leaving their child in DC. And I am accepting part timers so this way, parents will pay for what they NEED.


Sarah

Tinkerbell
07-19-2011, 11:18 AM
I hate it too! To be honest, I have this discussion during the interview process. I explain that we (there are two providers in my home) prefer to work for people who want to spend time with their children. I use the analogy that just because you pay monthly for a parking spot, you don't make sure that you go and use it everyday just because you are paying for it. While I do understand appointments, etc., I have always wanted my kids with me. As far as 'dates' with hubby, etc., trust me, there is plenty of time for that later. Speaking from experience, my two kids are off to college in the fall and these parents need to understand just how precious this time is with their kids. It happens way too fast!