Going crazy with my own kids!!!

[Mambia]

So for those of you who have your own children with you during the day along with your dck, what are your experiences with your children? I am literally going nuts and feel like a time bomb waiting to explode. I have 2 kids of my own, one of which is 3 yrs old going on 15!!!! As well as 3 dck

I know 3 is a rough age as they tend to be opinionated little people who know what the want and when they want it but wow! Being around the other dck seems to bring out the worst in my child. Every toy that another child touches all of a sudden belongs to her, she has to be first at everything, etc etc. the concept of sharing just doesn't exist no matter how many hundreds of times I say the word during the day. I feel like all I do is concentrate on disciplining her an as though she is the root of all chaos during the day. I know this is so horrible to say of my own child but its true. Even the days where my hubby helps out, he can't believe how bad she is. HELP please!!!! Any suggestions on how to nip this in the bud. I know it's her home that she all of a sudden has to share with others along with her toys and her mommy so in essence it's not fair to her but at the same time, she has to learn to get along nicely with others without so much chaos!!!! This just makes for such long and unpleasant days, most of which I think to myself that I'm just not cut out for this job :(

[torontokids]

Hang in there! My daughter is going through the same thing. I have been extra tough with her as a result which I think was back firing. I am laying off her a little and giving her extra 1:1 time in the evening which is helping a lot. When I say laying off her I am just not "always on her" like I was which was not helping and making her act up more to get that negative attention. I am continuing to praise the other kids as well when they demonstrate pro-social behaviour and she is noticing this as well. I also give her a few special privileges like staying upstairs in the morning to watch TV if she chooses before the school run and although she has been choosing to go in the daycare I think she likes having the option. We should start a support group as this is not a unique issue!

[Crayola kiddies]

I also have my own 3.5 yr old and am literally counting the days till he goes to full day jk. (I think it's 161 days) some days he's great but about 3 of 5 days he's a terror. Today was one of them, so I sent him upstairs and he had to play in his room. All my kids have their special toys in their rooms and the toys in the daycare are my toys. That helps a lot. I also bribe him with an opportunity to earn 30 mins of tv before his nap. But if he doesn't behave no tv. I never use the tv during daycare hours so that is special to him.

[Artsand crafts]

Hi ladies, I am in the same boat! Yes, I think we need a support group for Parent-Providers:laugh:

Mine is 22 months and as Toronto kids experienced being tougher with him only backfired... He started acting out at about 18 mos. What worked for me was acknowledging his feelings and other children's who he used to hit (he now understands what sad, in pain, etc means and can recognize it almost all the time)...I also followed the advice given in this site of getting him his own space in the house with his own toys and that helped too. We have been working for long time in waiting turns (for him and everybody else, of course). He got it now, but the younger ones are still sometimes trying to "steal" toys away which get him frustrated. He now takes toys back or say "no" when somebody with the intention of taking a toy away is about to do it, but he is not being aggressive anymore. The say "pick your battles" has helped a lot, too!

[Bookworm]

I feel your pain. I too, am counting down the days until my daughter goes to kindergarten, and I send her to preschool two days a week. :laugh: My son who just turned two is also starting to become a problem, so between the two of them, I never have a good day! I am going to send him to preschool in October like I do his sister, so I can get a break during the week. Part of their problem is that they are more advanced (not to be biased, but they are) than the other children I have in care, so they get frustrated when the other kids can't/won't communicate with them and then act out. I do let them go off on their own, but then they start fighting with each other. :(

[Wonderwiper]

Oh dear!! I have my own 2 girls who are 10 months and 3 as well as 5 dck and am feeling very lucky/ grateful after reading this thread!! My 3 year old just loves when the dcks get here! I am like Crayola Kiddies...all the daycare things are mine so she does not have to share her personal toys. Also, my space is completely separate from our 'home' and we don't play in the daycare after hours. I think she believes her house is upstairs and that the basement is somewhere else ha ha! I have no new advice but hope things settle down for you soon! Maybe it will get better when you can spend more time outside and there are new things to distract them!

[Mambia]

Thanks ladies! Glad to hear there are others who feel my pain!!! Lol

Aside from this, another thing that irritates me is that the older dcb who is similar age to my problem child tends to tell his mommy or daddy (whoever picks up that day) that my child was bad and didn't listen, blah blah blah. In reality, the dcb brings out the bad in her and is no angel either but puts me in an awkward situation I front of the parent. As much as I know my kid is acting out, sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that she is after all three yrs old and still needs my attention. Seeing as how my days are packed watching other people's kids, this needed attention has obviously shifted so I get why she acts out. Yesterday the dcb said that my child was a bad girl and he didn't want to come back and play with her (in front of me and the parent) I got upset about this comment and said "yes she had her moods today but you guys both have to learn to share and be nice to each other and everyone else" you don't want to know what I really wanted to say as this dcb tends to push and throw toys when he is told that he is not sharing. I guess he gets a lot of praise at home for being a good boy so perhaps he thinks he can do no wrong and it's always someone else's fault,.,I think there's 160 days, 9 hours and 15 minutes left until school starts in sept? But who's counting :):)

[DaycareLady]

My son, 2.5 is my biggest challenge in the day as well. I felt like just closing my daycare and going back to my old job, or sending my son to another daycare part time just to get a break...but I did this so I could stay home with my kids so it really broke my heart that my son was acting out so bad! I now do what above have mentioned, I separated all his favourite toys and put them in his room..he goes there for alone time during the day or gets special alone time on the iPad. I also take 15 mins before nap, after everyone else is already down, to sit and cuddle him and watch a show together or read books...just reconnect. It got so much better, but I was to the point of telling him I was going to send him to another daycare which was horrible for me to say!! I also have a 1 year old, I am hoping she doesn't go through the same thing lol

[gcj]

Mine are in school, but I've been there! Actually, this morning just getting them off to school with the other dcks already arrived and my younger daughter crying on her way out the door, I had the horrible feeling of understanding women who lose it and just walk away from everything. I know how awful that sounds, and I would never actually do it. But, this head cold and pms-ing and crazy morning, just running away is somewhat of a fantasy.

As for your daughter, hang in there. One day she'll understand the gift you've given her. As someone else said make sure she has HER toys that are in HER room and are not for daycare. Daycare toys should not be her toys. She's old enough to go to her room and have time alone away from everyone to play with her favourite things. And like it or not, she will have and should have privilleges that the others don't have. I tried to make my kids "equal" in the beginning and soon realized that they weren't and shouldn't be. They're already being asked to share their house, their things, and most of all their mom, so yeah, they get some perks. Decision making privilleges...their favourite spot at the table...little things like that.

Good luck! One day they'll be in school and aside from the odd morning from he#* it'll be smooth sailing where you finally get to run your own daycare without another little boss!

[Dreamalittledream]

"Counting down the days until J/K"..."my own child is my biggest challenge"...oh bless you for posting this. My 3.5 year old son was the reason I decided to open a home daycare...our last one...yada yada. But man...I am so glad I'm not alone in having these feelings (& the guilt associated with it).

[Naftafia]

This title and post made me laugh because I am in the exact situation. My son is 3.5 years old and daughter is 1.5 years old and they are by far, the ones that challenge me the most. I have done all the above recommended things such as separate his toys, give him special privileges or allow him to help with decision making etc...

The things that work best with my son are firstly to give him 1:1 time at break for 5-10 minutes, take him aside when things are not going well to give him a big hug and discuss things calmly (even when he is driving me crazy) and reporting back to his dad about his day, as we would do with the other kids and their parents. He is so proud to talk about the good things he did and embarrassed to share the not so good. His behavior during the day will influence the course of the evening, having a special treat or activity on really good days or losing privileges on bad days.

[Artsand crafts]

Since my husband works late and sometimes travels I am the one who takes care of my son during and after daycare hours. Lately I have found that an activity that we both like and make us re-connect after daycare hours is cooking. After all kids are gone and I get to make dinner or prep for next day he sits in a high chair and I give him kitchen utensils and ingredients that I am using. He ask for the ingredients and he pretends cooking and tries almost every ingredient. We turn music on and get to cooking. Besides having a good time, I get to do my chores in peace and he is getting to try new foods he did not wanted before...

[Skysue]

I went through this with my DD but to make it work I separated all her toys with the daycare toys. She kept hers in her room, I made it extremely clear that if she insisted on bringing any of her toys downstairs in the play room then she has to share. If anything was left out and got mishandled or broken it was her choice to bring it down.

All daycare toys have to be shared as they are completely not hers they belong to "Mom's" daycare. I took her out with me to Once Upon a child and Value Village to get some new daycare toys to have in the playroom, she enjoyed helping me find toys that the kids would like.

She was free to go and play in her room if she felt like playing with her own toys but she never did as she enjoyed playing with the others kids more.

I never put my daughter on time outs like the other kids if she misbehaved she was always sent to her room as she still is. She is not in daycare she us at home so I stay consistent for her in regards to discipline. So far it has worked out well, my DD is now 5 and I have been doing daycare since she was 2 1/2.

Even still there are some days that I wished to kick my own child out of daycare! LoL

[KellyLapp]

Wow. So glad I found this. I am about to open our home for a childcare and one of my biggest concerns is how my 3 yod will react/deal with it in her home. Some great ideas here. Thanks!