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Myrtah
02-10-2011, 01:07 PM
There are a lot of good providers there but there are some who do not care as much. I hope this section will allow parents to share their bad experiences.
So any bad experiences?
Let me start with mine.
My previous provider was sweet as honey but did a crappy job. The baby came back hungry. When I dropped in, every single time the baby was crying and I have no clue what my provider did to calm her down. The worst is that my provider was a great advisor and you would think is highly knowledgeable and experienced. After a while I started learning that my provider was feeding me nonsense and was expecting too much from my lil one. All I know was that my lil' one did not want to do anything with my provider. Sometimes we go by instincts and intstincts can be wrong.

Like I said there are great providers but there are some really bad ones.

Sunflower
02-10-2011, 02:05 PM
I wouldn't say that mine was a "bad " provider but she lacked experience.
My son was 13 mths old when he started going to her place paert time and he cried alllll day. She seems overwhelmed , did nothing to reasure me acted like she did not know why he was acting this way etc. I took him out after about 3 weeks and changes my hours around so I could be home with him all day and work in the evening .
Since then have become a daycare provider and met some amazing daycare providers who do an excellent job and love what they do!

jodaycare
02-11-2011, 02:20 PM
I wouldn't say that mine was a "bad " provider but she lacked experience.
My son was 13 mths old when he started going to her place paert time and he cried alllll day. She seems overwhelmed , did nothing to reasure me acted like she did not know why he was acting this way etc. I took him out after about 3 weeks and changes my hours around so I could be home with him all day and work in the evening .
Since then have become a daycare provider and met some amazing daycare providers who do an excellent job and love what they do!

I just wanted to say that part time children take much longer than full time children to adjust to a daycare situation. I have looked after children in some capacity for more than 30 years and have had my home daycare for the last 18. In my experience it takes a part time child twice as long to settle. I would not say that the provider was "inexperienced", I would say that the child was not given enough time to adjust. JMO

Sunflower
02-11-2011, 04:42 PM
I agree that my son did not have enough time to adjust but I know she was inexperienced. She said so herself. She had just opened her daycare and had never cared for a baby besides her own. She was very pleasant and I'm sure she did the best she could.When I opened my own daycare a few years ago, I experienced a little of what she had to deal with . Part time kids do take longer for sure /:yes:
Just wanted to add that she also chose not to give my son time do adapt. She admitted that had we not taken him out she would have asked us to do find him another place anyways.

Tot-Time
02-11-2011, 04:52 PM
Jodaycare ... i agree with you. It is my experience too that part time children require about 6 weeks to integrate into daycare.

PS ... I have also seen me frazzled at the end of the day if a child is having a difficult time integrating and crying :( On my part it doesn't mean lack of experience, it just means the child and I need additional time to bond and get to know each other.

cfred
03-02-2011, 10:47 AM
I have come across similar experiences in running my own home daycare for the past 10 years. My experience tells me that every child will have a period of adjustment. Some settle in rather quickly, some, like an 18 month old I have now, can take much longer. This little one screamed for 2 months, with it gradually depleting over that period. It was rough, but that's the way it goes sometimes. One thing I do with every new child is to take pictures during the early days at times when the new child is actually enjoying something. This way, upon pick up, I can show mom that it wasn't all terrible and that her baby has enjoyed some experiences during the day. This certainly puts parents' minds at ease. I would highly recommend that parents ask for this when starting a new home care centre. Also, as a home care provider, it does look pretty good on you if you can actually SHOW that the child is being attended to and having some fun times in between the screaming and crying jags.

playfelt
03-02-2011, 04:41 PM
Every child reacts differently to care. Some children have not had enough experience being cared for by anyone but their parents. Children that have had evening babysitters or spent time in the church nursery with other children generally do much better coming into care. We usually say 3 weeks for full time and 6 weeks for part time to reach a point where the child has accepted the new routine. 13 months is rought too if the child has been used to being carried and held a lot, not feeding themselves their own bottle or finger foods etc. One of the things I impress upon parents when they come for an interview is that there are things they must do as parents to prepare their child for group care. It mostly involves teaching their child self-sufficency and while they may seem very young they can do a lot more for themselves without constant adult involvement than they are often given credit for. Part of the settling in may seem like ignoring the child but it is teaching them that the caregiver is there within view but that there is a difference between needs and wants. The sooner that hurdle is overcome the sooner everyone settles into a proper routine. I so liked it better when children came into care at 6 months because at that age they cared a lot less about who fed them or changed them or played with them. At a year they are in the midst of too much developmentally (walking, teething, self feeding) and then we ask them to take everything they have come to know as normal and turn it upside down. Of course they rebel. They are angry and they cry, scream, etc. and then they accept and they settle and life becomes good for everyone. Just too bad some kids need 3 months to do it.

Play and Learn
03-02-2011, 07:13 PM
When one of my little ones started (she would have been a year old at the time), she screamed (like shaking because she was crying so hard) when my husband came home from work for two months. He had to hide. Until I decided that he should just come in, do his thing without saying anything to her. It worked. Now at 22 months old, she asks for him all day! Absolutely loves him!

Niveah
03-03-2011, 08:23 AM
I have come across similar experiences in running my own home daycare for the past 10 years. My experience tells me that every child will have a period of adjustment. Some settle in rather quickly, some, like an 18 month old I have now, can take much longer. This little one screamed for 2 months, with it gradually depleting over that period. It was rough, but that's the way it goes sometimes. One thing I do with every new child is to take pictures during the early days at times when the new child is actually enjoying something. This way, upon pick up, I can show mom that it wasn't all terrible and that her baby has enjoyed some experiences during the day. This certainly puts parents' minds at ease. I would highly recommend that parents ask for this when starting a new home care centre. Also, as a home care provider, it does look pretty good on you if you can actually SHOW that the child is being attended to and having some fun times in between the screaming and crying jags.

Thank you for that little extra...it is to be appreciated:)

Niveah
03-03-2011, 08:25 AM
Dear Play and Learn
I think it is an adjustment for the provider and the child. I am glad that you were patient. That shows your interest.

ilovemilton
03-06-2011, 09:20 AM
dear members - good day to all im a new user to the daycare bear forum - i just wanted to share my own recent experience , 6 months ago i had found a daycare through this site for my son who was 16 months @ the time , initially was very very happy w/ the home daycare & the lady as she seemed to be very motherly & caring , my son used to go p/t so it did take a long time for him to adjust to the daycare but once he adjusted he was a happy camper , she was too much by the books lady when it came to rules , i understand you run a business but my belief is one has to make exceptions when needed & not just go by black and white specially in the daycare profession.just a week ago had the worst experience of my life w/ her..my son is very prone to pneumonia since he was 5 months old he has already gotten in 4 times until now so there were lot of days where he was sick & we did not send him to the daycare - as per her rules/contract which she in love w/ i guess we paid her all along.In feb/2011 he was very sick & dint go to her for 2 weeks straight ( he goes 3 days a week ) which again we had paid her for , end of feb one friday which was not his day to go i requested her to do me a favor if possibe & accomadate my son that day - she on her own said yes send him as he was really missing his daycare friends when he was very sick..when time came to pay for the march days she never said anything about that days payment & i assumed she did me a favor for that one day , however when she received the cheq for march she claims the $ for that one day as well --- i was shocked by her behaviour really she was one woman who always said IM NOT IN THIS FOR THE $$$$$ IM IN THIS DAYCARE BUSINESS BCUZ OF MY PASSION FOR KIDS BLAH BLAH BLAH
-- it really shocked me that she was such an inconsiderate lady unbelivable so i called her & had a good chat w/ her that she needs to be more transparent w. parents if they ask a favor & be honest & bold enough to say before hand about anything & not once the favor has been done...anyways after the phone chat w/ her she made me read her CONTRACT again that no matter how many days the child is sick she need the $$$$..I was clear about it going forward , my respect for her from that day onwards had become less but i know my son was used to her & the daycare kids so dint want to do any changes for him.Within an hour of that phone chat when i checked my email she sends me a 2 week notice termination letter stating " After the conversation regarding the adjustment of sick days (for Feb 25, 2011) this evening,
I find it difficult to work with you. I have made my decision to terminate your sons daycare contract with two weeks notice as per the terms of the signed home daycare contract " it was one of the worst days of my life - very very unhappy w. the way she treated all of this for 1 day of payment omg..i belive she is in the wrong proffession - i decided not to send my child to her at all - i dont even need the 2 weeks not at all & also paid her for that one day when i went to collect his items..since then my nights have been sleepless finding a new daycare thanks to daycare bear i was able to find a new daycare where he will begin soon.i wish i could name the daycare but im not that type of a person so people are aware that she is a money monster & only in it for that which i was mistaken 6 months ago thinking she is a human anyways god is great i trust in him & he will make sure she learns her lesson soon.

Niveah
03-07-2011, 09:26 AM
Hi ilovemilton,
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you had to go through this.
I myself came to discuss day care issues in this forum because of a bad experience. I found her through this site and she seemed to have it all in paper -this perfectionist.
She made me think that my 12 month old should be saying words, and compared my child to her 7 month old's development. She expected my baby to grow out of her morning nap which she desperately needed. In fact, it got difficult for her to keep my baby because she was not an easy settler and she could not fit her into her schedule...we are talking about the first 4 weeks of starting day care ( full-time-of which could a week off for getting sick).
I came to this forum and I see a lot of providers who do a great job and understand the needs of a child...some put up with the babies for months until they settle.
However, mine did not want her and sent me a letter saying that my child is a disturbance to her routine because she wouldn't settle during nap time.
Not to mention, the diaper rash and other issues I had during my visits. It was bad marriage it had to end. But we keep learning. I think people like this create paranoia about day care providers in general.
I am glad you are here, there is a lot of information and you get to understand their perspective too.

Niveah
03-07-2011, 09:28 AM
I also wonder if we can specify who these bad providers are in this forum. I wonder if that is allowed...I guess admin might be able to answer this.
They do not participate in parents review programs.

LisaQ
03-07-2011, 01:54 PM
Please don't name specific providers. I completely understand why you might want to do so, but we want to keep these forums positive and welcoming, not critical (however much they might deserve it!). Thanks everyone for your understanding.

playfelt
03-07-2011, 02:28 PM
Not sure that naming a provider does anything for anybody. As with everything there are two sides to every story and since the other person does not have a chance to defend themselves we could be opening up a whole defamation of character situation. How a parent perceives their child and how that child acts once they get into group care is often very different. Also parents interview several months in advance so I'm sure at that time caregivers say they do outings and parents think this is wonderful without realizing the ramifacations that their child might still need a nap and might end up doing it in the stroller at the museum. I'm sure parents don't want their names listed as deadbeats who don't pay up or obey the rules so guess that is only fair to caregivers too. Sorry that you had issues. Obviously no matter how much you thought you had chosen the right daycare that it just isn't the right one for your child and best that you part ways. There are caregivers that don't do outings and your child can nap and there are children that don't need naps and will thrive on the outings.

Niveah
03-08-2011, 08:28 AM
Yes, I agree with you Lisa..will not name anyone here. I am only here to say that as parents we need to find what suits us and make the right choices and learn from our bad experiences.
Yes Playfelt. I agree with you. It is true that there is always two sides and no one really ever wants to admit their mistakes.
I feel very happy to see different day care providers opinions here and I know that I have a lot of good ones to choose from.
So, yes as parents we need to be aware. I am not here to take revenge on anyone.
I share my bad experiences..not only did I learn from it but someone else might too.

Rhonda
04-10-2011, 03:17 PM
Thank you luppernoodle! I appreciate your openess regarding your experience as both a parent and a caregiver. I too have been on both sides and can appreciate the challenges of a parent and a caregiver.

I have had disgruntaled families threatened to ruin my daycare, and it does only take 1 digruntaled family to ruin a good home daycare! Unfortunately, the disgruntaled family isn't always in the right either. I agree, please do not name names. Unfortunately this forum is open to the public and what we write on this forum can be used against us no matter how innocent/truthful/supportive the comment may be.

Spixie33
04-16-2011, 04:50 PM
welcome to the forum ilovemilton. I am pretty new myself but it is interesting to read your experience.
I actually have to say that I kind of side with the daycare provider on yoru issue. She did do a whole day of watching your son so I would think that would be fair for her to get paid for it IMHO.
I can understand your frustration with having to pay for all the sick days though. I have been on the side of the problem as a parent. My son was admitted for 16 days to a hospital and had to miss the daycare I was using for over 2 weeks. At that time...it was written in the contract that parents had to pay for sick days...even extended absceneces since the daycare was still holding that spot for the sick child.
I was very HAPPY though when I issued the cheque to the daycare provider and she handed it back to me at the end of the day saying she didn't feel right accepting it and that I should only pay half. that was a nice gesture on her part but i honestly wouldn't have blamed her had she charged me since it was in the contract that I signed.
Now I am a provider and I sometimes feel a twinge if a child misses a couple of days ...but I do budget in the weekly money from the daycare income so I do NEED it because this is how I make a living. I do think that I would do the same if a child was actually hospitalized though and give the parents a break.
I guess people sometimes sign the contract thinking it will never really come into effect or apply to them but in the end....there has to be a trust that the contract and agreements are kept from both sides. You wouldn't want someone to mislead you about their daycare and providers also want parents that they can rely on. In the end there is usually a good fit out there if you look hard enough. I have had 3 great providers in my time as a working mom and now I am trying hard to be like those providers. they are my standard so to speak :yes:

Momof4
04-16-2011, 11:12 PM
As a quality home daycare provider in London Ontario with many friends who believe as I do, it makes me very sad and upset to read your problems with your current HDCP for your family. It is really important to make a commitment between the families and HDCP's for 3-4 years and gut feelings and ongoing daily communication and trust and faith in her should be there daily.

I talk to the parents daily about any situations regarding behaviour, food intake, nap problems so that they have a good idea of how their child's day progressed so they can plan their evenings.

So, if you have a bad situation, listen to your gut, and your child and find someone better!

Steph
04-20-2011, 09:27 AM
dear members - good day to all im a new user to the daycare bear forum - i just wanted to share my own recent experience , 6 months ago i had found a daycare through this site for my son who was 16 months @ the time , initially was very very happy w/ the home daycare & the lady as she seemed to be very motherly & caring , my son used to go p/t so it did take a long time for him to adjust to the daycare but once he adjusted he was a happy camper , she was too much by the books lady when it came to rules , i understand you run a business but my belief is one has to make exceptions when needed & not just go by black and white specially in the daycare profession.just a week ago had the worst experience of my life w/ her..my son is very prone to pneumonia since he was 5 months old he has already gotten in 4 times until now so there were lot of days where he was sick & we did not send him to the daycare - as per her rules/contract which she in love w/ i guess we paid her all along.In feb/2011 he was very sick & dint go to her for 2 weeks straight ( he goes 3 days a week ) which again we had paid her for , end of feb one friday which was not his day to go i requested her to do me a favor if possibe & accomadate my son that day - she on her own said yes send him as he was really missing his daycare friends when he was very sick..when time came to pay for the march days she never said anything about that days payment & i assumed she did me a favor for that one day , however when she received the cheq for march she claims the $ for that one day as well --- i was shocked by her behaviour really she was one woman who always said IM NOT IN THIS FOR THE $$$$$ IM IN THIS DAYCARE BUSINESS BCUZ OF MY PASSION FOR KIDS BLAH BLAH BLAH
-- it really shocked me that she was such an inconsiderate lady unbelivable so i called her & had a good chat w/ her that she needs to be more transparent w. parents if they ask a favor & be honest & bold enough to say before hand about anything & not once the favor has been done...anyways after the phone chat w/ her she made me read her CONTRACT again that no matter how many days the child is sick she need the $$$$..I was clear about it going forward , my respect for her from that day onwards had become less but i know my son was used to her & the daycare kids so dint want to do any changes for him.Within an hour of that phone chat when i checked my email she sends me a 2 week notice termination letter stating " After the conversation regarding the adjustment of sick days (for Feb 25, 2011) this evening,
I find it difficult to work with you. I have made my decision to terminate your sons daycare contract with two weeks notice as per the terms of the signed home daycare contract " it was one of the worst days of my life - very very unhappy w. the way she treated all of this for 1 day of payment omg..i belive she is in the wrong proffession - i decided not to send my child to her at all - i dont even need the 2 weeks not at all & also paid her for that one day when i went to collect his items..since then my nights have been sleepless finding a new daycare thanks to daycare bear i was able to find a new daycare where he will begin soon.i wish i could name the daycare but im not that type of a person so people are aware that she is a money monster & only in it for that which i was mistaken 6 months ago thinking she is a human anyways god is great i trust in him & he will make sure she learns her lesson soon.

I'm going to try an keep this as non-judgemental as possible. I understand that it is very hard fro working parents to place their children in the care of someone, and when that experience doesn't meet with expectations it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
That said, why would you agree to a contract if you we're not willing to follow it? Providers have contracts for a reason. Contracts set out the expectations of both parent and provider. It fair to expect her to change the contract t suit you. You wouldn't be happy if she changed the contract to suit her.
Also, everyone works for money. If you work for a reason other than money,it's called volunteering. Do you often work an extra day free of charge as a favor to the company? My guess is no. Now if money were the only consideration no one would choose childcare as a career. I made alomost twice as much working in sales, but I like this job better. There are enough perks that the pay cut is worth it. I genuinely enjoy children and from what people have said I'm an excellent provider but that doesn't mean I don't work for the money.
As for naming names, how woudl you feel if this same provider was posting about this and put your name. There are two sides to every story and I doubt she sees this situation the same way you do.

Tinkerbell
04-20-2011, 11:51 AM
As a provider myself, with over 19 years experience, it has been my experience that not only do part-time children take longer to adjust, it also takes some of the full-time children longer to adjust lately. I am finding that parents are not preparing their children for daycare at all. A lot of the little ones I have started in the past year had never been looked after by anyone other than their parents, they were not socialized in play groups, etc., never slept in a playpen, never encouraged to feed themselves a bottle/cup or food, never made to self-soothe, never left to play on their own for any period of time without constant stimulation by the parent. All of these things make our jobs as providers more difficult. Learning to be independent helps with patience (when you're not the only child in daycare) and gives the child the ability to be happy without constant attention. True, every child is different, but if you what a successful transition into daycare, please take the time to prepare your child for a positive experience by allowing them to have some independence and not be so reliant on Mom/Dad...it doesn't mean you love them less...it demonstrates your confidence in who you are leaving baby with and they can sense that. Essentially, you are giving them a head start to happy experiences because you have enabled them to have the necessary coping skills required to make the transition from Mom/Dad's arms to ours.

Rhonda
04-20-2011, 12:56 PM
In the past it is normal for full time children to adjust within 2 - 6 weeks of full time care depending on the child.

My latest child in care has been with me for 6 1/2 weeks. My child is still struggling to hold the bottle on own, still struggling with learning routine, has a temper tantum when doesn't get own way, screams constantly at me when I don't respond instantly or pick up on demand. At 12 months, is not walking, crawling well, does't go up or down stairs well, takes limited initiative to do things for the child's self, still won't come to me for any reason, and has not started to follow every day routines, like coming to the table for snack, or learning daycare rules etc.

I believe it is exactly for the reason you mentioned Tinkerbell, the parents didn't prepare the child for daycare, the child is carried everywhere, the bottle is still held for the child, the child is still spoon fed, the parents go to the child, the child was entertained constantly, etc. Though I am proud of this set of parents because they did teach the child to self sooth for nap time, which does essentially help my day.

I think the hardest part is after 6 weeks of childcare with seeing so little progress I would normally terminate under my transistion period clause, but I believe this child has potential. But, like another provider mentioned in another threat that if we pass the window of opportunity, we may regret the decision not to terminate later on. For now I will keep on trucking an give the child another few months and see how the child progresses.

Myrtah
04-21-2011, 10:43 AM
"My latest child in care has been with me for 6 1/2 weeks. My child is still struggling to hold the bottle on own, still struggling with learning routine, has a temper tantum when doesn't get own way, screams constantly at me when I don't respond instantly or pick up on demand."

This is lack of training and the result of protective parenting. Most first time parents and those who depend on grand parents do not know that they have to let the child learn as early as possible.

"At 12 months, is not walking, crawling well, does't go up or down stairs well, takes limited initiative to do things for the child's self, still won't come to me for any reason, and has not started to follow every day routines, like coming to the table for snack, or learning daycare rules etc. "

This part is a bit difficult. It is not right to expect all 12 month olds to be walking. Some certainly take longer and it is not always because of protective parenting.
Also some children are more sensitive than others..even the ones independent at home start to behave like this in the new atmosphere.
Do you even expect a 12 month old to go up and down the stairs?
Some do and some do not. I think this only happens if the child started walking at 10 months.
So, again I think the parents should see what the day care provider expects or sees as developmental progress.
Day care providers who want children to be trained (in what ever way...holding the bottle, saying words etc.) before attending daycare must put this in the manual and also inform the parents during the interview.
My day care provider expected my child to have words like more, no more, water etc. at 11 months. Mine said those things..but was not comprehendable by the provider ( bilingual).She was not walking by 12 months but was running by the end of 13th month and sings rhymes by 20 months.

Spixie33
04-21-2011, 10:55 AM
This part is a bit difficult. It is not right to expect all 12 month olds to be walking. Some certainly take longer and it is not always because of protective parenting.
Also some children are more sensitive than others..even the ones independent at home start to behave like this in the new atmosphere.
Do you even expect a 12 month old to go up and down the stairs?
Some do and some do not. I think this only happens if the child started walking at 10 months.
So, again I think the parents should see what the day care provider expects or sees as developmental progress.
Day care providers who want children to be trained (in what ever way...holding the bottle, saying words etc.) before attending daycare must put this in the manual and also inform the parents during the interview.
My day care provider expected my child to have words like more, no more, water etc. at 11 months. Mine said those things..but was not comprehendable by the provider ( bilingual).She was not walking by 12 months but was running by the end of 13th month and sings rhymes by 20 months.[/QUOTE]

Wow...going up and down stairs at 12 months? Eeks ! I have 3 toddlers in daycare - all of them at the 2 year mark and I do not let any of them go down the stairs on their own.
I let them climb up the stairs but I make sure they are all going up in front of me and that I am walking behind them to make sure no one falls back and down the whole stairs.
I am starting to practise going downstairs with them 1 at a time to see how they do with it but I would never just let them do it on their own. I am right there holding their hands or going down backwards in front of them so I can catch them just in case.

I am also blown away that anyone would expect a 11 month old to say 'no more' or something like that. Putting 2 words together is usually around 18-24 months. I taught my toddlers how to say 'more' by using baby sign language and that worked out well. Most of the kids develop very differently. All 3 of my toddlers are close in age but very different in how much they talk and how good their motor skills are. Everyone is different.

The only thing I ask of new parents coming in is that their child has a nap routine and able to go to sleep on their own. I think every parents returning back to work should work on that becuase it will allow their child to have a better day at daycare and have less issues crying every day at nap time.

Myself..I used 3 different home daycares for my kids before I became one and none of them ever had stringent requests. All I can recall was that they asked them to be on a regular sleep/nap schedule

Myrtah
04-21-2011, 11:47 AM
"I am also blown away that anyone would expect a 11 month old to say 'no more' or something like that. Putting 2 words together is usually around 18-24 months. I taught my toddlers how to say 'more' by using baby sign language and that worked out well. Most of the kids develop very differently. All 3 of my toddlers are close in age but very different in how much they talk and how good their motor skills are. Everyone is different."

Yes, I was very upset too. I realized that it wasn't working anyway. It is sad that some providers have a very different mindset when it comes to milestones.

playfelt
04-21-2011, 01:40 PM
I agree on the talking that many 12 month olds just look at you when you talk and don't respond. Two words will be a lot longer coming. As for the stairs a child that can crawl can climb stairs - hence the need for safety gates from a very young age. As for going down - mine turn around backwards and go down a stair at a time. I do not like the sit on the bum and go down forwards because if a foot catches or they lean too far forward they fall. Going backwards down there are a lot less issues. Between 15 -18 months I start them going down or after they are walking properly. Mostly I give them all a chance to do it and if they can fine, if they are too scared or unsure I pick them up and carry them. Mine know to sit at the top of the stairs till I give them the go ahead to come down or go up. The really little ones that don't are secured till others are down. I don't let them stand and use the railing till they are closer to 3 mostly because of size as in not reaching up to get it. Not holding a bottle at a year shouldn't be an issue because a child should be on a cup during the day by a year and would be if it was introduced by 9 months like it should be. A child will act as helpless as you let them.

sunnydays
04-21-2011, 02:21 PM
I am amazed to hear about daycare providers having expectations of an 11 month old talking and a 12 month old walking and going up and down stairs. I am a mother of 3 and a new daycare provider, and I think this is very unfair to expect. They are still babies at 12 months and each one is different. Although there are things that they have to learn in order to cope with the daycare environment, walking and talking would not be on my list. I would say lots of socialization and being able to put themselves to sleep at naptime are key. I have been on both sides and I hated it as a parent when a daycare provider judged me for my parenting style, so I am very careful not to do that to my daycare parents.
As for the situation described by ilovemilton, I have to say that I understand why the provider wanted pay for the sick days. You pay for the space, not the days used. The provider is unable to fill the space when your child is absent and has no control over how often your child gets sick and is away. She does need to have a stable income and should be able to rely on that. As for the extra day, I would have probably given that for free because the child was away on his regular days, but she did have the right to ask for it according to her contract.

playfelt
04-21-2011, 06:41 PM
For those that were caregivers back in the days of 6 month maternity leaves where we often had babies entering care at 4 months because few woman were allowed to work right up to term things were very different. Rarely did we have a child that wasn't on a cup and eating table foods and either walking or at least cruising by 12 months. And a cruiser can climb stairs just fine even if they can't walk across the room because the steps provide something to hold onto. Single words began betwen 10 months and a year. Most were using a spoon no later than 15 months and by 18 months we were potty training. Rarely was a child in diapers except at naptime by 24 months. That's just the way kids were.

Times changed. Maternity leave became 12 months but no one bothered to teach doctors how to advise parents on what to do next so that is one of the reasons why we now get one year olds into care that are at the 9 month developmental level of years ago. I have been doing daycare for 25 years and have four children of my own ranging from 27 to 18.

Not saying it is wrong just saying it is troublesome in many respects and as we see children enter school that are not really ready in many areas. Self-esteem starts in infancy and a child that is inadvertantly taught that they are not capable has a harder road to travel.

As far as the daycare environment goes the sooner a child learns to walk and talk the sooner they can become social beings and interact with the other children. Most children do not have the ability to guess what a whine or tear means and will just ignore the child. Walking allows the child to participate with older children too as it means they have learned balance so can join more of our play activities instead of sitting on the sidelines. I have an 18 month old right now that is not on a cup, takes only a bottle if it is warmed to the correct temperature and grunts from behind her soother. Mostly the other kids can't be bothered dealing with her because she can't keep up. But mom constantly comments on how much she loves that the child still does these things and cuddles up with her. So who is holding who back and what is my job. Is it to keep her doing infant things so mom is happy or is it to help the child mature and do age appropriate things so she can join in with her peers. It is hard to stand back and know I am doing the child a disservice.

mamaof4
04-21-2011, 09:45 PM
Have you considered a podee bottle? They are fantastic
In the past it is normal for full time children to adjust within 2 - 6 weeks of full time care depending on the child.

My latest child in care has been with me for 6 1/2 weeks. My child is still struggling to hold the bottle on own, still struggling with learning routine, has a temper tantum when doesn't get own way, screams constantly at me when I don't respond instantly or pick up on demand. At 12 months, is not walking, crawling well, does't go up or down stairs well, takes limited initiative to do things for the child's self, still won't come to me for any reason, and has not started to follow every day routines, like coming to the table for snack, or learning daycare rules etc.

I believe it is exactly for the reason you mentioned Tinkerbell, the parents didn't prepare the child for daycare, the child is carried everywhere, the bottle is still held for the child, the child is still spoon fed, the parents go to the child, the child was entertained constantly, etc. Though I am proud of this set of parents because they did teach the child to self sooth for nap time, which does essentially help my day.

I think the hardest part is after 6 weeks of childcare with seeing so little progress I would normally terminate under my transistion period clause, but I believe this child has potential. But, like another provider mentioned in another threat that if we pass the window of opportunity, we may regret the decision not to terminate later on. For now I will keep on trucking an give the child another few months and see how the child progresses.

jodaycare
04-25-2011, 09:16 AM
I have been caring for children in some way for almost 30 years and I have to say that children seem to reaching developmental milestones later than they did even 10 years ago. I am not sure of the cause. My daughter will be eighteen in July and she was on cereal at 3 1/2 months and was on a cup by 9 or 10 months. She was walking at 11 months etc. I now hear that doctors do not recommend cereal or solids until 6 months at the earliest. I so believe that the longer maternity leave has made the transition to daycare harder on both the child and the parent. Parents need to prepare their child for daycare in every way that they can, this includes self soothing, napping on their own. a reasonable amount of self feeding ( most 12 months olds should be able to pick up small pieces of food). As for the provider asking for payment, I believe she was justified as her contract stated such. I do ask for full fees regardless of attendance but in the case of an extended absence (more than 5 consecutive days) I do reduce the fees by half. Parents need to understand that in order to provide an enriched environment for their child we need to be paid for the service we provide, I am sure that if they worked an extra day they would expect to be paid accordingly. Just because we work from home does not make our profession less valuable.

Emilys4Guppies
04-25-2011, 12:24 PM
Milestones such as when to start solids aren't truly "milestones" though, and the 6 month recommendation is based on sound science regarding the "pristine gut syndrome" and the maturity of the GI tract. All 4 of my children started solids after 6 months, and so far 3 of the 4 were completely on table foods by 12 months (the 4th is only 7mos so far). My 7 month old also takes a sippy cup, and all of the rest were on a regular cup by 12-15 months. My daughter was full on walking by 9 months.

I am not sure that children, in general, are behind developmentally from where children were 20 years ago. I think that when one doesn't have small children of their own in the house it's easy to forget how things are/were. My own mother did home daycare, has 5 kids of her own, and still forgets things in regards to when my children reach milestones. I think, also, that perhaps different areas have different expectations that aid in reaching those milestones.

For example, when I lived in the city most people strollered their toddlers to prevent running in traffic. However, now that I live in a rural area I see that many toddlers walk on the sidewalks (my preference), which I believe is a better opportunity for a child. Does that make sense?

Myrtah
04-25-2011, 02:36 PM
Milestones such as when to start solids aren't truly "milestones" though, and the 6 month recommendation is based on sound science regarding the "pristine gut syndrome" and the maturity of the GI tract. All 4 of my children started solids after 6 months, and so far 3 of the 4 were completely on table foods by 12 months (the 4th is only 7mos so far). My 7 month old also takes a sippy cup, and all of the rest were on a regular cup by 12-15 months. My daughter was full on walking by 9 months.

I am not sure that children, in general, are behind developmentally from where children were 20 years ago. I think that when one doesn't have small children of their own in the house it's easy to forget how things are/were. My own mother did home daycare, has 5 kids of her own, and still forgets things in regards to when my children reach milestones. I think, also, that perhaps different areas have different expectations that aid in reaching those milestones.

For example, when I lived in the city most people strollered their toddlers to prevent running in traffic. However, now that I live in a rural area I see that many toddlers walk on the sidewalks (my preference), which I believe is a better opportunity for a child. Does that make sense?

Thank you Emily.
My girl walked fine by the end of 13 months, was running a few days after she walked and was self-feeding from around 9 months onwards. She was pretty independent by 14 months.
But it was a very difficult stage between 10 and 14 months. She was teething massively.
I had been training her from 8 months on consistent nap times, she got a morning nap and an afternoon one (which she desperately needed until she was 13 months), self soothing to sleep ( no pacifiers) and she was self feeding holding her own cup and eating on her own well enough by 12 months.

Even after all that, it did not work with the first provider. I made a wrong choice.
Unfortunately kids behave differently in a new atmosphere.
She was not that needy at home but the provider had a totally different story.
The daycare provider wanted to take her off the morning nap, ( I think that back- fired big time) wished that she was more social, and preferred her to be less attention seeking.I realized she was not great anyway. It did not work.

I moved her to another place and the positive environment there did wonders.

I still do not see what I could have done as a parent to make her more independent.. also it is sad that there is a certain mindset people have about milestones..." the kid should be doing this...or that".. Certainly it is a lot easier if the kids are independent.

I guess it is important to see what the provider means by milestones.. everyone's stand on milestones is slightly different. So the parent and provider has to be on the same page to avoid unnecessary pain...pain that does not go away after terrible experiences.

playfelt
04-25-2011, 03:26 PM
Working on milestones is probably a more important guage than mastery in the sense of I know children reach different stages at different times but it is also true if you wait too long to introduce something such as a cup or taking away the soother that it can be harder for the child to adapt and achieve. The younger you introduce a child to something the more likely they are to adapt. That doesn't mean we expect mastery right away but we do expect parents to be working on the skills too so that there is some hope of mastery and some consistency between home and daycare. If a child is not expected to do certain things at home it makes it harder at daycare to do what is expected. I think most daycare providers do have realistic expections of what is possible for a child. What they expect is that parents are not holding the children back from reaching those goals and is also encouraging the child as well.

I get the sense that some of the issues with your original caregiver was that her guage of milestones was her own child and not based on any kind of averages of previous kids in her daycare or research of any kind. Just because her child talked early doesn't mean all kids do. But by 15-18 months if a child is not saying words it is also suggested that a child be evaluated. Here in Ottawa we have a group called First Words that will evaluate a child, make suggestions on ways to encourage language as well as suggest when a hearing test or other tests might be a good idea.

When interviewing a potential caregiver ask questions about how many children in your child's age group they have cared for in the last five years. Ask them what ways they use to encourage children to reach milestones - example offering drink only in a cup at snacktime but still giving the bottle after lunch until they are drinking more from the cup or one-on-one talking and singing with a young toddler to encourage speech and sound imitation. Since you won't know for sure ask if your child will be able to keep up their morning nap if they need it or does the caregiver go out each day. Playgroup is a great outing but not if you are tired and whiney and just want to sleep. Another reason why not every caregiver is the right match for every family.

busybee
04-25-2011, 06:23 PM
Wow! I guess maybe i am a easy going care provider lol.I do not charge if they are off sick UNLESS its a week or more then they are charged half price.As for naps i have a seperate nap room just off the playroom.I have some that take 2 naps a day some only 1.I find majority of my children that need 2 naps will sleep through the others playing in the next room. Now for naps and outing while today i took 4 to Jungle Gym a indoor playground.The youngest had a nap on the way there and for another 20 min while we were there.On the way home within 5 min of 3 toddlers being in the stroller they were all flaked out. I find if they are tired they will crash no matter where you are. Now this said we do not go out every day and i try to have them all have their afternoon nap at the same time when we are at the daycare. I have so far only had 1 bad parent and it was a couple days a week and yes i to just told them it was not going to work. Sorry you had a bad experiance with a care provider but it is like any other profession there is both good people and bad people in it .

Myrtah
04-26-2011, 08:58 AM
"I get the sense that some of the issues with your original caregiver was that her guage of milestones was her own child and not based on any kind of averages of previous kids in her daycare or research of any kind. Just because her child talked early doesn't mean all kids do. But by 15-18 months if a child is not saying words it is also suggested that a child be evaluated. Here in Ottawa we have a group called First Words that will evaluate a child, make suggestions on ways to encourage language as well as suggest when a hearing test or other tests might be a good idea."

Absolutely true that parents should not hold back their kids from trying and learning and being independent.
Yes, my first provider was wrong. I was naive and made a wrong decision which affected my child very badly.
I am not sure if her guage was based on her child- if so, then the years of experience that she claimed falls flat.
As I said I prepared my kid for the daycare- she was holding a cup , feeding herself and soothing herself to sleep by 9 months. At 10 months, she followed simple commands like get the toy or come here etc.
She had 50 words by 13 months and by 18 months she was putting three words together, by 20 months she was singing the ABC song and many other rhymes fully and clearly.
By 10 months she was cruising and by 12 she was standing and walking with support but she walked independently only by end of 13 months. ( I know some kids -lighter ones walk by 10 months).
I am here in this forum because I cannot get over the way my child was treated.
Apart from complaining that my child is not settling- clearly she wasn't getting the care. She came back with poo stuck every time and it was not cleaned properly. I was patient and was nice never lost it with her. Spoke to her because I understand that sometimes single-handedly managing kids is difficult.
Regarding the morning nap, hers was generally short and before 8.30 because she gets dropped off at 7. Yes, I should have known that my kid would not be ok without a morning nap and not gone with her After all, it was only 5 weeks with her of which she was sick for a week and a half. So how much patience should a provider have during the initial settling time?
The way things were returned to me- I had to go ask them 4 times and then the bottles and cups had a layer of filth, dried milk- if she was busy she could have asked me bring the cups in everyday..no problem I would do it for my kid.
I am here in this forum and have learnt a lot from these providers discussions.
I am unable to get over my bad experience and I am promoting these conversations so other folks can make right decisions.
Else, I know that most providers are reasonable and friendly.
It only takes one rotten neighbor to lose trust over the neighborhood.

playfelt
04-26-2011, 12:56 PM
Sounds like the biggest issue with your child and the first provider was that there was no bonding going on at all, no connection, no inclusion of the child into the daycare family. Kudos to you for recognizing when things were not good and doing what was right for your child at the time.

Myrtah
04-26-2011, 02:46 PM
Thanks Playfelt.
True. I think people who cannot love other kids like their own cannot do justice to this home daycare business.
Providers work for little money..and it is a tough job. I always consider this as a noble service. Every one cannot do this.
If someone is not good at it and I know it (as long as I am sticking to facts), I as a parent will raise my voice. I did post reviews on her which I did after I thought long and hard....which is hidden anyway.
My kid is very happy and fine now. I am ready to stop bickering about this issue but I will never be able to forgive her in my heart.
We are all mothers and we know how much we hate to know that our kids are not treated right.

sunnydays
04-27-2011, 08:49 PM
No matter how difficult it is to be alone with the kids and take care of all their needs, there is no excuse for not cleaning them properly at diaper changes or not cleaning their dishes etc. This is a health hazard and sounds like it describes the caregiver's overall lack of care. How terrible to have to go through this. As a mother I have always had a hard time trusting others to care for my kids, which is why I opened my own daycare. I hope you now have a good caregiver.

Myrtah
04-29-2011, 10:27 AM
Unfortunately I lost my trust on home day care system and she is in an academic one now. She is doing great.
It is great to see a lot of sensible home-day care providers here.

rashmi
04-29-2011, 02:29 PM
too bad......babysitters should have some flexibility........

mom
04-29-2011, 02:40 PM
what was the name of that day care?????? I think I know her.....:laugh:

fruitloop
04-29-2011, 04:05 PM
too bad......babysitters should have some flexibility........

Babysitter do...they come into your home whenever you need them and are usually between the ages of 12 - 17ish. Nannies also have flexibility...they work when you need them. Daycare providers are running a business just like anyone else and they set their hours based on what works for their business and their own families.

Myrtah
05-02-2011, 08:00 AM
what was the name of that day care?????? I think I know her.....:laugh:

I do not know why you are laughing? It is very rude!

Play and Learn
05-02-2011, 09:00 AM
Nannies also have flexibility...they work when you need them.

I was a nanny for 3 years (different families). I never gave any flexibility. We signed a contract that I worked between the hours of 8-4 or 9-5. Never did after care. But I wasn't a live-in!

mamaof4
05-02-2011, 11:22 AM
Ladies- please lets be kind and respectful

mom
05-02-2011, 05:02 PM
I do not know why you are laughing? It is very rude!

I'm laughing because 'm not the only one......and I'm also suffering like you.....I didnt mean to hurt anybody's feelings.....believe me :no:

Myrtah
05-03-2011, 08:19 AM
I'm laughing because 'm not the only one......and I'm also suffering like you.....I didnt mean to hurt anybody's feelings.....believe me :no:

Ok no worries

Sarah A
06-14-2011, 12:53 PM
I'm going to try an keep this as non-judgemental as possible. I understand that it is very hard fro working parents to place their children in the care of someone, and when that experience doesn't meet with expectations it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
That said, why would you agree to a contract if you we're not willing to follow it? Providers have contracts for a reason. Contracts set out the expectations of both parent and provider. It fair to expect her to change the contract t suit you. You wouldn't be happy if she changed the contract to suit her.
Also, everyone works for money. If you work for a reason other than money,it's called volunteering. Do you often work an extra day free of charge as a favor to the company? My guess is no. Now if money were the only consideration no one would choose childcare as a career. I made alomost twice as much working in sales, but I like this job better. There are enough perks that the pay cut is worth it. I genuinely enjoy children and from what people have said I'm an excellent provider but that doesn't mean I don't work for the money.
As for naming names, how woudl you feel if this same provider was posting about this and put your name. There are two sides to every story and I doubt she sees this situation the same way you do.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I love children and love being able to raise my son at home, but to be honest with you, I am running this daycare for the income. And when someone takes their child out of care for a few days, it really hurts my budget. I allow 5 sick days per child per year and after that the parents must pay to keep their spot.

I too left my high paying job to operate my daycare so this low income has hurt our finances but it's worth it in the end to see the smiles on the kids faces everyday.

Sometimes parents take it too personally and don't realize that we are running a business from home and need the income. I don't like chasing people or money, parents should read and abide by the rules when they decide to start with a daycare. Just like we have to return the favour by doing all the things we promised with thier children when they are in our care.

Sarah A
06-14-2011, 01:23 PM
too bad......babysitters should have some flexibility........

Babysitters??? Then I guess we should put your child in front of the tv all day and have our friends come over to party, because that's what 12 year old babysitters do. They are not there to teach your children manners, to be social, and to educate them to get them ready to start school on the right foot. We are DAYCARE PROVIDERS and should be respected for the job we do everyday in providing children with a safe, fun and educational environment.

I too am a parent and would want the BEST care or my child if I decided to have them in a home daycare. And I would pay good money and abide by the rules because this provider would be basically raising my child and deserve to be well paid for wiping their boogies, cleaning their dirty diapers, patiently waiting while they do things by themselves and providing a perfect home away from home since I would be working.

Tinkerbell
07-21-2011, 12:25 PM
As a provider I can honestly say that I try my very best to make things work. However, there have been times when I have, unfortunately, had to let a family go. Please do not view this as a lack of interest. There are other children to consider in this scenario and their well-being is equally important. :)

mark40
11-03-2011, 07:19 AM
Thank you

Good post

greenborodaycare
12-27-2011, 03:18 PM
I am a mother and had a BAD experience with a daycare provider which is why i quit my job and started doing daycare myself. It has been a LONG time since that incident passed but i will never forget it, and it will never cease to cross my mind at least twice a week while I am looking at these precious children I help to raise, and I will never stop asking myself wtf this stupid lady's problem was. And she is on these forums as well. And whenever I see her to this day with her other dck's (cause she is in my area) it takes all I have not to walk up to her and punch her in the face.

Skysue
12-27-2011, 03:38 PM
I am a mother and had a BAD experience with a daycare provider which is why i quit my job and started doing daycare myself. It has been a LONG time since that incident passed but i will never forget it, and it will never cease to cross my mind at least twice a week while I am looking at these precious children I help to raise, and I will never stop asking myself wtf this stupid lady's problem was. And she is on these forums as well. And whenever I see her to this day with her other dck's (cause she is in my area) it takes all I have not to walk up to her and punch her in the face.

WOW What happened? Very curious?

Judy Trickett
01-04-2012, 06:49 AM
I do not have any such bad experience because i always prefer the day care school where this types of problems are not created.It always better to keep your kids in the daycare than to leave them on the any individual daycare.There are lots of such daycare who are dedicated to the kids care and grow them in a environment of love.

I don't agree. Bad stuff happens in ALL daycare settings - both centre-based and home-based. Have you ever been to www.daycaresdontcare .org? Go there. Read the comments from workers in CENTRE based daycare. You would be surprised by the stuff that goes down there. One of my best friends is an ECE and worked in "quality" daycare centres and once she had kids she stayed home with them because she said she would NEVER put her kids in a daycare centre.

I have had the opportunity to have live video feeds of a few daycare centres and let me tell you, they are NOT all they are cracked up to be.

carla
01-08-2012, 11:12 PM
That website is horrible. As far as I can tell most are from the states. When I started in daycare and something was not right I stood up to the director about it. I also phoned licensing and reported it. My friend had her child in a licensed dayhome and the provider left all the kids at home by themselves when she went to the bank. Should I assume all dayhomes do
That. ABSURD. I am a director and my staff are always in ratio even if that means I am in ratio. There are good and bad daycares. We have an open door policy and my families are more then welcome to come anytime of the day. We do not watch tv all day nor are my staff allowed to use there phones during the day. My staff work only 8 hour days and make more then minimum wage by alot. Ok now that I have ranted on enough I need to go to bed so I can sit in front of a tv all day and play on my phone (not)

Cocoon
01-08-2012, 11:36 PM
Carla, where r you located? Please say you are in Calgary and you are looking for stuff :)

Cocoon
01-09-2012, 12:03 AM
*staff* :o

mom-in-alberta
01-09-2012, 03:13 AM
Nope, Carla is in Edmonton.
As in life, none of us should be painting ALL types of care with the same brush. There are both pros and cons to centre based care, as there are with home based. Each family has to make that decision based on what they feel is important.
And that is all I have to say about that. LoL :)

Judy Trickett
01-09-2012, 06:31 AM
That website is horrible. As far as I can tell most are from the states. When I started in daycare and something was not right I stood up to the director about it. I also phoned licensing and reported it. My friend had her child in a licensed dayhome and the provider left all the kids at home by themselves when she went to the bank. Should I assume all dayhomes do
That. ABSURD. I am a director and my staff are always in ratio even if that means I am in ratio. There are good and bad daycares. We have an open door policy and my families are more then welcome to come anytime of the day. We do not watch tv all day nor are my staff allowed to use there phones during the day. My staff work only 8 hour days and make more then minimum wage by alot. Ok now that I have ranted on enough I need to go to bed so I can sit in front of a tv all day and play on my phone (not)

I think you were disagreeing with me. ;) But what you said was exactly my point - neither is horrible or terrific or the other. Each care situation is unique and all have pros and cons. It really bothers me when people really preach against home daycare (or centre daycare, for that matter).

There are good AND bad home daycare AND centre daycare.

dodge__driver11
01-09-2012, 07:58 AM
I am not sure how to feel about that website (daycaresdontcare.or g) wether it is a scare tactic or not...I truly believe as a parent of a 3 y/o that I MUST DO the "leg work" in order to see wether a daycare/home is good for my child...Though I consider what reviews have to say --I do not base my opinion solely on them...

If a director/owner takes his/her job seriously, the children will be happy, safe and well adjusted...If not...well...we all know what has the potential to happen. I ALWAYS MADE surprise visits to my daycares, sometimes to the staff's shagrin (sp) because they thought I was a hovering parent....but so what?? (I am an ECE as well)

I wanted to make sure that they were doing the job they needed to do, and I did pull my son out of one dayhome because of what I saw, I also reported to early learning....

I guess what I am trying to say is we can't let websites do our work for us.

VictoriaChildCare
01-19-2012, 08:39 PM
In my 11 years as a home daycare provider I always tell the parents at the interview to drop by 'sometime next week' and hang out with us for a bit. In all of those years only 1 parent has taken me up on it. She signed the contract that day. Come and see what we do, then decide and always follow your gut.

Momof4
01-20-2012, 05:15 PM
My 4 children attended daycare centres and in the 80' & 90's the home daycare profession was still 'babystters' and we had good and bad experiences with them. So now, I get mad when anybody calls me a 'babysitter' because my daycare is nothing like the situations my children had to endure. I run a program with healthy, safe routines, nutritious food and lots of learning activities and active play. I have heard horror stories about daycare centres too, but thankfully my experiences were great.

erbad
07-03-2012, 08:48 PM
Dear all,

Would like to post my experience with my day care provider, small world early learning centre in oak ridges, richmond hill.

The place was pretty unhygienic with my daughter constantly sick right from the first day. We also found the caretakers badly trained and not really responsive to my childs needs. The children were not taught anything in the day care and I could see the children rolling on the carpet, whiling away their time getting bored since they were not actively engaged in any activities. Very disappointed with their services. I have also come across others who had similar experiences with this day care and who got their children out of this day care.

Inspired by Reggio
07-04-2012, 07:23 AM
I have not had time to read this thread in its entirety as it is an older thread and well rather long so I just skimmed it ;)

While venting is important for sure cause without it we might explode ~ IMO there is constructive venting where the intent is to share common problems and to find positive solutions to a problem moving forward growing with stronger knowledge and deconstructive venting where the intent is to spread gossip about others, promote bad feelings about others without any intent to 'seek resolution' and well THAT is not healthy for anyone and creates a negative atmosphere :(

There are definitely awesome and horrible experiences in ALL business settings ... as well as the 'perceptions' of those using the service based on expectations and bias and so forth can create a negative experience where no others have seen or experienced it ~ I have restaurants I LOVE that my peers HATE because we share different expectations and values around dining and well the same goes for childcare as well ~ just because someone was not happy with a providers service does not mean they are a BAD provider it just means that they were not a match for service!

IMO regardless of the 'setting' the best REGULATORS of childcare industry are CLIENTS who are in those programs day in and day and can LIVE the quality of care being provided or not .... when choosing a childcare centre or provider IMO the BEST place to start is ensure you put MORE research into it than you do your new car purchase cause IME 95% of clients seeking childcare do NOT do their due diligence in choosing care ... they do not make that 'informed' decision that could avoid conflict and a poor experience in the first place and in hindsight if they HAD they would not have chosen as they did!

Plus if you have had a REALLY bad experience with a daycare provider or daycare centre where you felt there was risk to your child and you had to pull as a result ... so something BEYOND just not being a match for childbearing philosophies or not being happy with the contract you agreed to and signed.... there are CONSTRUCTIVE recourse's for clients to resolve these issues and hopefully help prevent issues in the future for others ~ if you feel strongly enough about the care provided or not provided having put your child at risk of harm than USE them ;)

For those in Ontario you can start here ~



http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/childcare/concerns.html

What to do if you have concerns about your child's care

Child care should be an enriching and satisfying experience for your child. You should always feel confident that your child is in a healthy, safe and happy environment.

Talk to the staff or your caregiver

If you have concerns about your child's care your first step should always be able to talk to the staff or your caregiver. Here are some tips:

Schedule a time with your caregiver to talk about your concerns. That way, both you and the staff or caregiver will be ready to talk.
Be prepared. Make notes ahead of time about your concerns.
Be clear about what's being said. If you need clarification or have concerns about your caregiver's response, ask him or her to explain it further.
If necessary, arrange a follow-up meeting.

Talk to the Ministry of Education

If you continue to have concerns, contact your local regional office of the Ministry of Education.

Informal caregivers are not monitored by the Ministry of Education. However, regional staff will investigate complaints from the public about a person who may be providing care to more than five unrelated children without a licence.
Children in Need of Protection

If you have a reasonable suspicion that a child is or may be in need of protection, you must report it to a Children's Aid Society in your area. A child in need of protection is a child who is or appears to be suffering from abuse or neglect.

Bottom line is that WE are the only advocates children have ~ we need to do our due diligence to protect them and not expect the 'government' to always be doing it through regulations we 'assume' people are following!

dodge__driver11
07-04-2012, 01:56 PM
[QUOTE=Inspired by Reggio;19137]I have not had time to read this thread in its entirety as it is an older thread and well rather long so I just skimmed it ;)

While venting is important for sure cause without it we might explode ~ IMO there is constructive venting where the intent is to share common problems and to find positive solutions to a problem moving forward growing with stronger knowledge and deconstructive venting where the intent is to spread gossip about others, promote bad feelings about others without any intent to 'seek resolution' and well THAT is not healthy for anyone and creates a negative atmosphere :(

There are definitely awesome and horrible experiences in ALL business settings ... as well as the 'perceptions' of those using the service based on expectations and bias and so forth can create a negative experience where no others have seen or experienced it ~ I have restaurants I LOVE that my peers HATE because we share different expectations and values around dining and well the same goes for childcare as well ~ just because someone was not happy with a providers service does not mean they are a BAD provider it just means that they were not a match for service!

IMO regardless of the 'setting' the best REGULATORS of childcare industry are CLIENTS who are in those programs day in and day and can LIVE the quality of care being provided or not .... when choosing a childcare centre or provider IMO the BEST place to start is ensure you put MORE research into it than you do your new car purchase cause IME 95% of clients seeking childcare do NOT do their due diligence in choosing care ... they do not make that 'informed' decision that could avoid conflict and a poor experience in the first place and in hindsight if they HAD they would not have chosen as they did!


Reggio nailed it here. There are some parents in my area that hate my dayhome because they feel it is to structured, and that I am too rule driven..... and then others that love it because they know what to expect from me.

You MUST DO YOU RESEARCH AS A PARENT. That's it that's all.

annieburnspie
07-10-2012, 02:02 PM
Hi, I am a journalist at CBC. Looking to learn more about peoples experiences with home daycares. If you are interested in sharing your story please get in touch with me annie.burns-pieper@cbc.ca.

Thanks,
Annie Burns-Pieper

saqi
10-05-2012, 10:23 AM
Yes I agree with Niveah to mention the names of terrible babysitters and daycares so that no one else go through same bad experience.

Inspired by Reggio
10-05-2012, 11:46 AM
Yes I agree with Niveah to mention the names of terrible babysitters and daycares so that no one else go through same bad experience.

This is what the purpose of organizations like Better Business beaureu are for so that complaints can be mediated and resolved and if not resolved than a rating posted for it - there are two sides to every story and if clients want to start publicly blackballing businesses with their one side than be prepared for businesses to start to do more "do not provide service to xyz client" based on their experience with the client ... the world would be such a better place if people would just COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER!

ETA had this poster mixed up with another

Inspired by Reggio
10-05-2012, 11:49 AM
Sorry had the recent poster mixed up with someone else ~ but stand by my opinion to use the BBB verses bashing online

Big Hearts
10-05-2012, 12:21 PM
I just wanted to add that in training they tell you a lot of kids will cry when being dropped off. It is normal and looking at it from the kids side they want to spend more time with mom and dad then us. Kids now a day get so little time with parents. I have kids some times 10 -12 hrs a day and mom or dad come to get them, spend and hour or so and it is off to bed. I am a mom of two and they know me, but when dad heads off to work crying is had by both. I know it isn’t because they don't like me but they see dad only a few hrs a day and weekends. The best thing is mom and dad but don’t give up on finding someone great for your babies.

Momof4
11-02-2012, 08:23 AM
To all of the other caregivers on this site, I just sent a report to admin regarding this ridiculous post and the behaviour of this poster. Hopefully something can be done to rectify the pathetic situation.

mimi
11-02-2012, 08:29 AM
Oh darasmommy you are like a car wreck, you tell yourself not to look but then you do. Sigh, my bad.
I think your problem is you would love to stay home with your little one however due to circumstances you can't which is the norm now a days. You come across as jealous of the providers as you know this is a job you could never do (as we are often told by the parents we provide care for) so you have to leave your little one and work outside the home. I hope you find quality daycare for your child and a counsellor for yourself. Go ahead with your threat of "telling everyone you know" about daycare providers. We can with stand the scrutiny. If they know you like we are starting to, they will take what you say as coming from a mean spirited, jealous and unhappy woman and that's what bullies are made of.

country girl
11-02-2012, 08:45 AM
To all of the other caregivers on this site, I just sent a report to admin regarding this ridiculous post and the behaviour of this poster. Hopefully something can be done to rectify the pathetic situation.

I just did as well - I'm all for people expressing their opinion but not in a rude & ignorant way.

mamaof4
11-02-2012, 10:19 AM
Hi ladies I am watching this thread. Sure there are bad providers- we have all seen them, but please try and be constructive.

dodge__driver11
11-02-2012, 11:24 AM
All Darasmommy has done is be all around rude, why is she still here? It is obvious she is here to perpetuate (sp) streotypes, and make all the hard workers here feel bad

Momof4
11-02-2012, 11:43 AM
Hi ladies I am watching this thread. Sure there are bad providers- we have all seen them, but please try and be constructive.

Thank you mamaof4 but have you read all 13 of the posts by darasmommy? They are all very rude. Yes, this is a public forum and parents are more than welcome to ask us questions and learn how we operate our daycares. We welcome that and are happy to help and listen and learn from each other, but we all do want the posts to be constructive.

Inspired by Reggio
11-02-2012, 11:47 AM
If members do not want to be exposed to Darasmommy's posts just reminder that the forum offers an 'ignore' option ... just go to your control panels and enter her user name under the ignore feature and her posts will no longer show up in threads just a little memo that says 'this users post has been blocked as per your request' ... than you do not need to worry about being offended by anything she says just ignore her and go on about your days ;)

sunnydays
11-02-2012, 11:52 AM
Well, I for one, do not feel bad because of darasmommy's ignorant and ill-informed comments. While she is not being constructive in her criticism and she obviously holds some kind of grudge against home daycare providers for reasons of her own, I welcome it as an opportunity to set the record straight. The reason her comments cannot make me feel bad is that I am extremely PROUD of the work that I do. I have a university degree and had a good-paying government job which I left in order to open my own daycare because this is what I WANT to do and I am good at it. I am not doing daycare because I have no other options or I wanted an easy way to make money while sitting on my behind. If I had wanted to find an easy job where i had lots of down time while making good money, I would have stayed with government...now that was the easiest job I ever had with the best pay and benefits. Providing childcare is the most challenging job I have ever done and I know most people can't even begin to imagine how we do it...plus this is not a "get rich" job as most of us just barely make ends meet after we pay for expenses such as quality food, educational materials, toys, outings, etc. But we do it because we love doing it and we know we are making a difference in these little people's lives and the lives of their parents...a positive difference! I don't know where you live Darasmommy, but in the two neighbourhoods I have lived in while running my daycare, I have never seen ANY daycare providers painting their nails or neglecting the children in their care in any way. Yes, we may takl to each other and offer much needed support, advice, encrouragement, etc and we may sit down as it is one of the few points in the day when we can actually sit for a moment depending on the ages of the kids we have and the business of the park etc. But this does not mean we are not watching or providing quality care. It means we are giving the children a chance to explore and burn their energy while we supervise their play. And as for this forum, well let me just ask you this, have you never complained or vented about something at your workplace? If you answer no, I would guess that you are either lying or extremely unusual, because most people need to vent every now and then and most people need support from colleagues and advice on tricky situations. This forum is the only chance for that kind of support and peer mentoring that most of us have and it is invaluable to us. It does not mean we don't like what we do or that we are not good daycare providers...it means we are human and to spend 9-10 hours with 5 small children and no other adults, we need a little peer support at naptime to help us with issues that affect our day. Perhaps you should keep your eye out for some good home daycare providers and see some of the wonderful care that they provide instead of honing in on what you consider to be poor caregiving skills. I would love for you to talk to the parents of the kids in my care as each and every one would tell you how happy their kids are to come to my house every day and how happy they are as parents to have somewhere safe, happy, friendly, encouraging, stimulating, clean, organized and educational for their little ones every day. And I am willing to bet that most of us on here could say the same thing.

dodge__driver11
11-02-2012, 11:55 AM
wow she truly is nuts

Here here Sunnydays I too could be working in a very "low maintanance" job...but I wanted to be there for my boy.

sunnydays
11-02-2012, 12:01 PM
I am all for debate and constructive critisism, but Darasmommy, can you please tell me what is constructive in saying that we are all a bunch of lazy clods and nobody should send their kids to home daycares?

dodge__driver11
11-02-2012, 12:05 PM
@ Sunny days Exactly...

And if you think I am lazy and whatever you said to me before....


I actually have an ECE student for the next two weeks so she is busy with my kidlets while I just do mindless activity for a bit....

mimi
11-02-2012, 12:06 PM
Why is she still here? I suggest responding to darasmommy is a waste of time and pershaps we and definitely me should stop trying to reason with the unreasonable.

Inspired by Reggio
11-02-2012, 01:00 PM
... Judging parents for judging you is an oxymoron.....

I think you forget that like you most of us ARE PARENTS ourselves first and foremost who want what is best for our own children and one would hope by inclusion since our kids spend the day home with us that this would cross over to ALL those in our care ;)

By your logic if I were to come on to a parenting forum and basically SLAM ALL the stay at home moms who used that parenting forum for being lazy uncaring parents who just married a man in order to take advantage of being able to sit home all day eating bon bons while the kids ran wild because a bunch of different SAHM were coming to the one park in my neighborhood and congregating over their expensive lattes and crumpets while talking fashion and comparing nails while their children ran wild and unsupervised and basically leaving ME to redirect their kids inappropriate bullying or aggressive behavior toward my crew in order to keep my kids safe while I was trying to work for a living and how disgusting I found it that they were blessed to be able to be home with their children not having to 'work an additional job' on top of that and they turned around and abused that privilege by not properly 'being there' for their child ... that would be me offering those SAHM's some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM .. I should expect that to be received with open arms of why Reggio thank you so much for pointing out the error of our ways we will certainly reflect more on our roles as parents?

Or if I were to go on and on about how disgusted their threads were venting about their spouses and children 'challenging' behaviours and how they should just be 'grateful to be taken care of by a man' if the first place cause really they have no right to vent about him or any of his inappropriate behaviours because after all he PAYS for their ability to stay home and in reality that means they 'work' for him and should just be happy to have a job to do and therefore do as they are told with a smile and a thank you sir may I have another every time he is a jerk ... that too would be viewed as CONSTRUCTIVE way for me to speak to them?

Cause in reality that would be no DIFFERENT than what you have done here on this board except exchange SAHM with childcare provider and exchange spouse with client .... and I am betting YOU would be all over calling me out for my rude behaviour were I to do that ... and well admittedly so would I because it WOULD be rude and anything BUT constructive!

See IMO there is a difference between venting about BEHAVIORS that someone exhibits that are not acceptable and asking for advice on how to handle that and what you are doing which is JUDGING an entire profession by the behaviours of a small few!

I think every provider on here would agree that yes there ARE less than stellar providers in the world ~ we too have seen them at parks and playgroups, and NO it is not a prudent choice to be doing each others 'nails' at the park while you are suppose to be supervising children cause while there are somethings you can multi task in this job 'wet nails' is not one of them .... but your JUDGING US ALL as lazy babysitters out to make a quick buck based on those providers behavior is WRONG!

And while I agree that sometimes it is hard for some providers to vent 'politely and professionally' when someone has stiffed you with payment or been late yet again or dropped off their sick kid and made your whole family sick or a child who is not yours has just bitten, kicked or called you a swear word and well you are just feeling at the end of your rope and a swear word or adjective pops out that just makes you momentarily feel better when in reality no it is not so 'professional' but sometimes it is just hard to be professional in those circumstances .... seriously when was the last time YOU were bitten at work or had someone throw something at you ~ you think you'd be all smiles and decorum sharing that experience with your coworker?

Your coming on here and implying that providers should not VENT about inappropriate behaviors in their programs and how to fix that without being JUDGED by parents like you as uncaring money grabbing clods .... well as Judy mentioned in another thread is just detrimental to the whole INDUSTRY and works to create more isolation and burn out for providers who than will be afraid to speak out about their feelings of being taken advantage and to ask for help ... and we will continue to see a shortage of those willing to DO this job.

So unless society wants to return to a time when women ALL STAYED HOME full time to raise their own children than we better start looking for ways to SUPPORT and RESPECT those of us who choose to provide childcare to those who work outside the home to want to continue to do this ... cause it is obvious that people are NOT lining up to take on these roles there is a shortage of people entering ECE in colleges, there is a shortage of staff in childcare centres and so forth due to the lack of respect and support our industry receives ... and if we keep treating childcare professionals with indignantly it is going to get pretty dang hard for those of you who want or need to work outside the home to be able to do that the more and more of us who are driven out of the professional by those clients who are rude, disrespectful, supportive and just plan difficult to work with or the rising number of 'challenging' children that parent seem to be breeding these days .... honestly in my 25 years in the field the increase in socially unacceptable and violent behaviour children exhibit at younger and younger ages is just astounding to me and as a result the 'working conditions' for providers have become more and more violent and stressful and society wonders why we are feeling 'jaded and negative' all the time ... if you do not have a way to keep yourself SANE by letting that go to a peer and finding tips on how to deal well than that negativity takes over your whole entire program!

Cocoon
11-02-2012, 01:50 PM
Wow by calling people here oxymoron you proved how cleaver YOU are. Calling people names is a way of saying " actually I'm an idiot and I can't say anything better but if I call you names then it will satisfy my ego and I will actually believe I'm clever. " it's a physiological thing. It's OK. We now you are sick and we don't judge Well... I guess all we can say is get well soon :)

dodge__driver11
11-02-2012, 02:05 PM
@ cocoon... Zing...

lol

Serendipity
11-02-2012, 05:28 PM
:rolleyes:I have only two things to add to this long drawn out thread:

1. I am eternally grateful that Darasmommy does NOT live in my area! (Whew! Dodged a bullet there)
and
2. I am also eternally grateful I am not Dara as I would be mortified that my mother is so self-righteous and uppity that she cannot find a more constructive and beneficial way to improve the parent-provider relationship.

Like any relationship, it takes two to make it work. I can see why Dara's mommy has a hard time making things work with her provider (or past provider)...as she has nothing substantial to offer and the only thing she cannot let go is what other providers do at some park....

I don't know what park you are going to and I don't care, but for the love of Pete, STOP going there if it bothers you so much!!! Good lord woman.....find something better to do with your time. I have only been on this site twice to read a few posts and both times my experience has been ruined by you!! :rolleyes:

mamaof4
11-04-2012, 05:23 PM
OK- ladies- please. We can disagree--- we can debate but do so without attacking one another.

jodaycare
11-05-2012, 05:56 AM
The only person attacking people is Darasmommy. She came on here out of the blue and started telling us what horrible people we are.

dodge__driver11
11-05-2012, 10:01 AM
I find it ironic that you agree with the mod, when you Darasmommy came in a started up this mess yourself, that is really stellar. Oh and also I see tons of typo's on this webpage, but I would rather take the time to actually help then point out things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

mustbenuts
11-05-2012, 10:07 AM
I am new to this forum but it does not appear to be moderated well or else this troll would have been kicked off already. Best practice is to ignore trolls since their only objective is to stir the shit. If you keep responding, the trolls keep spewing crap. Trolls love it when they get people's knickers in a twist so just stop responding, totally ignore troll posts. I know you feel the need to correct and flame but all that does is make the troll happy, it really does. And she is not a representation of the parents on here, nor are her views. Sadly, there is no cure for stupid, so stop trying.

treeholm
11-05-2012, 11:18 AM
Just for the record, Darasmommy, an oxymoron is a phrase that combines contradictory terms, (ie. jumbo shrimp, non-working mother etc.) Your use of "judging parents for judging you" is an incorrect use of the term oxymoron. Your phrase would be considered hypocritical. I didn't want anyone else on the list to get the wrong idea from you about what this means. I get a bit obsessive about grammar since my other job (in addition to being a daycare provider) is as a university communications professor.

sunnydays
11-05-2012, 12:10 PM
Thank you treeholm...I have my degree in Applied Linguistics and was an ESL teacher until I opened my daycare...I wanted to point this out, but decided not to bother and did not want to embarras anyone for their incorrect assumption that oxymoron was something used in name calling (I suppose it was confused with moron). I am glad you cleared this up for everyone involved :)

Momof4
11-05-2012, 05:08 PM
OK- ladies- please. We can disagree--- we can debate but do so without attacking one another.

I completely agree with you, but I don't want to be a part of a forum where someone can come on and abuse and attack us at their whim. And I really don't want to leave this forum because I enjoy it very much. I'm surprised that you don't seem to understand the way the caregivers feel at being attacked by this parent, but respect your decision as the moderator. Many people have tried to reason with darasmommy and suggest positive answers for her such as finding a great caregiver next time or a therapist and I think that we have been more than reasonable on our side.

Serendipity
11-05-2012, 05:33 PM
I completely agree with you, but I don't want to be a part of a forum where someone can come on and abuse and attack us at their whim. And I really don't want to leave this forum because I enjoy it very much. I'm surprised that you don't seem to understand the way the caregivers feel at being attacked by this parent, but respect your decision as the moderator. Many people have tried to reason with darasmommy and suggest positive answers for her such as finding a great caregiver next time or a therapist and I think that we have been more than reasonable on our side.

I joined this forum several months ago but just recently posted for the first time. I too appreciate from a parent's viewpoint the discussion threads here and do feel as though the responses to Darasmommy were very informational, nonjudgemental and calm at first but then she was allowed to continue her ranting without actually adding anything substantial to the conversation and that was the moment I began to doubt my membership here.

I love differing viewpoints and different opinions as that is what makes the world go round...kwim? I enjoy reading perspectives that I hadn't considered before but the second someone starts getting rude and condescending to others, I cringe because that is EXACTLY what is wrong with society now days. When one person believes that their way is the ONLY way, it is impossible to have an intelligent conversation with them anymore and mud slinging begins.

I know that I will no longer be visiting this forum if people are going to be allowed to continue being so rude and mean to other posters. I have seen several places where a moderator has stepped in and said that everyone should play nice but not once has a moderator actually called out the person who started it.

I am both a provider and a parent and I think that respect is an absolute must from BOTH parties and so far from what I have read here, that hasn't been the case.

I sincerely hope that everyone can just agree to disagree.

dodge__driver11
11-05-2012, 05:43 PM
Serendipity I agree!!

mimi
11-05-2012, 06:15 PM
I agree with the posters discontent regarding the lack of communication from the administrator regarding a posters rude and disingenous remarks. I have alerted the admin myself a few times regarding the posters poor attitude and know other forum members have done so as well. If admin has some view points for us to consider why no action has been taken, I would like to see them. I enjoy this forum tremendously and the last thing I want to read is a post from a bully.

mamaof4
11-05-2012, 06:18 PM
Hi there- stepping in here- yes I am aware of the issues, and I have been communicating with individuals but as we are all adults I would assume that no one needs to be taken to task in public.

As far as banning someone goes, I do not have the rights as a mod to ban someone.

dodge__driver11
11-05-2012, 06:25 PM
who does then??

mamaof4
11-05-2012, 06:31 PM
the admin. Please remember the 'ignore' feature. It can save a lot of headaches.

Inspired by Reggio
11-05-2012, 06:43 PM
Hi there- stepping in here- yes I am aware of the issues, and I have been communicating with individuals but as we are all adults I would assume that no one needs to be taken to task in public.

As far as banning someone goes, I do not have the rights as a mod to ban someone.

Mamaof4 just wanted to thank you for elaborating on the policy for dealing with rude or bully style posts. I agree with it is best that individuals are being handled in 'private' but this is very good to know for the future should another 'hot topic' come about because when a public 'knock it off' reminder post is made by a mod to 'everyone' than one can assume if they have notbeen spoken to in private as well that their response was within acceptable manner?

treeholm
11-05-2012, 06:50 PM
Thank you treeholm...I have my degree in Applied Linguistics and was an ESL teacher until I opened my daycare...I wanted to point this out, but decided not to bother and did not want to embarras anyone for their incorrect assumption that oxymoron was something used in name calling (I suppose it was confused with moron). I am glad you cleared this up for everyone involved :)

Sunnydays... I probably should have resisted the urge to correct Darasmommy but I'm afraid I have less restraint that you do... I've been known to take a sharpie out of my purse and correct grammatical errors on store signs... yup, not kidding. Ikea... My daughter was mortified LOL

treeholm
11-05-2012, 06:53 PM
1. Physiological refers to the body. I believe what you meant is "psychological". And that statement makes no sense whatsoever as I called NO ONE any names. I'm pretty sure I'm not the idiot in this scenario. :)

Oh, and while I'm on a roll with correcting errors... physiological does NOT refer to the body, it refers to living systems. PHYSICAL refers to the body. Psychological refers to the mind. Yup, my second degree was in neuro-physiology... I think I'm becoming insufferable, sorry....

Wonderwiper
11-05-2012, 07:10 PM
Ha ha! I'm a bit of a grammar corrector too! Just wanted to mention that not all posters have English as a first language and use the wrong words sometimes and others may use mobile devices that insert strange words with auto correct but we all know what they meant to write.

treeholm
11-05-2012, 07:21 PM
Ha ha! I'm a bit of a grammar corrector too! Just wanted to mention that not all posters have English as a first language and use the wrong words sometimes and others may use mobile devices that insert strange words with auto correct but we all know what they meant to write.
Great point wonderwiper, I did not consider the fact that darasmommy might not speak English as her first language. I just became incensed that she was criticizing the care providers on this site; women of whom I have become quite protective. It was the mother bear instinct that made me point out errors. Auto correct can also be a nightmare; so true!

mamaof4
11-05-2012, 07:26 PM
ok- grammar?? let it rest already.

sunnydays
11-06-2012, 09:19 AM
Since when is a discussion about grammar offensive? I don't think the last few posts were attacking anyone nor were they mean, abusive, etc. It was simply a discussion...nobody was being singled out for using incorrect grammar. And yes, there are certainly people here whose first language is not English and I assumed that was where the confusion about "oxymoron" came in and it was why I did not comment...because as someone who has taught ESL learners for many years, I know how embarrassing it can be to have your errors pointed out. I sincerely hope that nobody feels their grammar, spelling, etc will be picked apart on this forum! I know I am horrible for typos...I can't type to save my life, so my letters get reversed, left out, etc.



ok- grammar?? let it rest already.

dodge__driver11
11-06-2012, 09:36 AM
LOL!! You know what? That is why you see me editing my posts so often because I see a typo or a missused word heh.

gramma
11-06-2012, 10:18 AM
I understand your frustration but its not fair to name providers because as we all know there are 2 sides to every story and not to say that someone is not being truthful but when disagreements happen it is possible for both sides to remember things differently. Alternatively, as a provider it would not be fair for me to post the names of parents who i have had difficulty with over the years. best to learn from each situation and move forward.

I also wonder if we can specify who these bad providers are in this forum. I wonder if that is allowed...I guess admin might be able to answer this.
They do not participate in parents review programs.

gramma
11-06-2012, 10:25 AM
I agree with you that we all work for money and yes the provider did work for the day BUt the child is only part time and she had been paid for many sick days so why couldnt she switch the day? What i mean is if the child comes mon, tues, wed but was sick and mom paid for those days but the child was better on friday why should she pay for another day? That comes down to flexibility in my mind. having said that, the parent should have specified that when she asked for a "favour" that she wanted the day for free.
I'm going to try an keep this as non-judgemental as possible. I understand that it is very hard fro working parents to place their children in the care of someone, and when that experience doesn't meet with expectations it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
That said, why would you agree to a contract if you we're not willing to follow it? Providers have contracts for a reason. Contracts set out the expectations of both parent and provider. It fair to expect her to change the contract t suit you. You wouldn't be happy if she changed the contract to suit her.
Also, everyone works for money. If you work for a reason other than money,it's called volunteering. Do you often work an extra day free of charge as a favor to the company? My guess is no. Now if money were the only consideration no one would choose childcare as a career. I made alomost twice as much working in sales, but I like this job better. There are enough perks that the pay cut is worth it. I genuinely enjoy children and from what people have said I'm an excellent provider but that doesn't mean I don't work for the money.
As for naming names, how woudl you feel if this same provider was posting about this and put your name. There are two sides to every story and I doubt she sees this situation the same way you do.

mamaof4
11-06-2012, 01:24 PM
Since when is a discussion about grammar offensive? I don't think the last few posts were attacking anyone nor were they mean, abusive, etc. It was simply a discussion...nobody was being singled out for using incorrect grammar. And yes, there are certainly people here whose first language is not English and I assumed that was where the confusion about "oxymoron" came in and it was why I did not comment...because as someone who has taught ESL learners for many years, I know how embarrassing it can be to have your errors pointed out. I sincerely hope that nobody feels their grammar, spelling, etc will be picked apart on this forum! I know I am horrible for typos...I can't type to save my life, so my letters get reversed, left out, etc.


ok i misunderstood

Cadillac
11-06-2012, 04:23 PM
I think this post went off topic LOL

sunnydays
11-08-2012, 01:48 PM
I believe the reason some of us feel the need to "flaunt" our degrees is to break through the streotype that you have been trying to push us into...that we are all a bunch of uneducated housewives with nothing else to do so we thought we'd make a bit of money by taking in kids to "watch" while we sit around watching soap operas and eating doughnuts (or painting our nails at the park). I will also add that those of us who do not have degrees are no less intelligent, worthy or accomplished in life or in caregiving.



Ahem. I used physiological where it pertains to the body to put in terms the poster might understand, as clearly she is a little unaware of scientific terms. And what do you think the body is exactly? It's a network of systems. Ya, I have degrees too but don't go around flaunting them. ;)


This really isn't a grammar discussion regardless. It's more semantics than anything. :)