Week 3...crying on a Tuesday

[torontokids]

So this is my part timers third wk and it is looking the same as the last two. He comes on Tues and Wed every wk and Tuesdays are horrible at nap time. I was dreading nap time today and it has been constant screaming. I noticed every Tues my nerves are all frayed and so are the kids as they don't get a good sleep and I don't get a break (technically I do because I leave him to cry but it's not a nice break listening to him).

How long do I give him to adjust before I decide it's going to be too disruptive every week and terminate? He does get it because Wed are usually great. There is just such a big gap from Wed to the next Tues when he comes again.

I have a new family starting next Friday. I had hoped a month would have given him enough time to adjust before the new baby started.

[Other Mummy]

torontokids, 3 weeks is not enough time for a part time (2 day a week) to adjust to your nap routine. It might take months. It will happen, but it's going to take a loooong time as he only is there for 2 days a week.

I'm going thru a similar situation. I have a pt dcg that started 2 months ago. She comes 3 days a week. She has recently stopped crying at naptime and now runs to her playpen at naptime. She sometimes will call for me for a good 30 min. But knows the rules (she's 2 yrs). Then she will fall asleep.

Since you have a new baby starting, this is going to disrupt naptime even more. You have to decide if you want to tough it out or terminate. Is the crier in his own room or sharing naptime with others in the same room?

[playfelt]

A lot of caregivers have a minimum three days a week for this reason - it gives them a couple good days and the more good days they have the sooner they accept the first day.

Another alternate and I discuss this with families asking for part time - they don't like it but too bad. I rarely take part time now but when I do it is done with the idea that if the child settles into routine fine after a couple weeks then ok. If not I require the child to come full time till they are settled - they need to become more familiar with the new routines and what is expected, get used to not being with mom etc. Once settled in we start gradually cutting back the days till child is down to 2-3 days as needed. If that never happens then usually family leaves because they can't afford to pay for full time. But at least you get peace if they leave.

The fact the child settles on Wed means it should go quickly so probably 2-3 weeks of full time is all you would need or even 4 days a week for a month, then 3 then 2 - ideally mom will get where she loves that one day off no work no child to get things done and leaves him in care 3 days.

[mimi]

Ah the part time newbies, gotta love'em ;) It can take a month or two for him to get into the routine of daycare. The other 5 days are good and then it's "what, we are coming here again?" "WAAAAH" Actually some kids never fully adjust. I have a sensitive dcg who is a sweetie, but spends most her day waiting for her parents to pick her up. She has been with me almost a year and I am resigned to the fact that this is the way she is. Fortunately, she doesn't cry anymore, but if she did and when she did I just let her cry it out. Good luck:)

[Crayola kiddies]

the couple of times I have taken on a part time child I insisted on the child attending full time for at least the first 3-4 weeks to get them adjusted. if the parents weren't agreeable to this then they had to go else where. I no longer take part time and will only allow a current child to go to part time when the parent goes on mat leave. have one currently in that situation and then will have another one in jan as well but these children were full time so they know the rules and are already settled in. im not interested in the aggrevation of retraining a child every week.

[sunnydays]

Sometimes even after being full-time, they don't adapt well to part-time. I had a girl with me for a full year until her mom went on mat leave...then she went to 2 days per week and every week she would cry for about an hour when mom dropped her off...it was heart-breaking. She was not like that at all when she was full-time. After that experience, I just decided not to bother with part-time at all.



the couple of times I have taken on a part time child I insisted on the child attending full time for at least the first 3-4 weeks to get them adjusted. if the parents weren't agreeable to this then they had to go else where. I no longer take part time and will only allow a current child to go to part time when the parent goes on mat leave. have one currently in that situation and then will have another one in jan as well but these children were full time so they know the rules and are already settled in. im not interested in the aggrevation of retraining a child every week.

[kelleyg19]

I have the same problem with an 18 dcb. He has been coming for almost a month twice a week (wednesday and Fridays). When he first started up until about last week, he would cry all day and sit at the door crying for his dad. Last week, he actually played with the kids but with still a little teary eyed. He has gone off on holidays for two weeks now, so I'm dreading when he returns getting him back into routine again.
As hard as it is, try and give it a few more weeks. I struggle and dread my Wednesday and Fridays cause I know it's going to be an aggravating day with him. If its not working out and you don't see it changing in the near future consider terminating as its not worth you stressing over it.

[torontokids]

Talked to mom, he is going to come Mon, Tues, Wed next wk to help him. He is actually doing pretty good the rest of the day. Cries 5 mins at drop off then plays. It's just nap time. Hopefully he gets it before the new baby starts beginning of May

[Sandbox Sally]

I've had a baby cry every day for a month, and that was a full timer! Then as if by magic, she just stopped one day, and she loved us and loved coming. Hang in there!

Here in my new city, I have a little girl who comes MWF, and it took her the better part of three or four months to not scream and panic at drop off, but now, she doesn't want to leave. :)

I know it's easier said than done, but is it possible that you not leave her to cry at nap time? Could you put her in the same room as you in a pack and play, or maybe sit in the room with her and read a book for a few weeks? Then, maybe she'll relax, and you'll relax, and she might know that when she comes to your place, she won't be left alone. I did that with my screamer, and it worked.

[Momof4]

That's great news Torontokids because I was going to agree with all the other ladies, they never adjust at 2 days/week. Good luck!

[mommylove]

I agree with everyone else takes alot of time and patience to transition a new baby they're out of their element and scared miss their mommies, its tough on them and us. IT will get better just hang in their and try to remember their having a rough time as well......GOOD LUCK. I have a new dcb starting monday and hes been coming 1/2 day 2 times a week for 3 days a week to help transition him and he cries all day every day lol poor guy the next 3 week will be hard on me and all my kiddos all part of the job but worth it forsure in the end once you are full and have happy kids cant wait :)

[DaycareMiss]

I'm currently going through a termination at my daycare and being a "people pleaser" doesn't help me much with my emotions about the entire ordeal. Sometimes you just have to let em go! You have to put your family & the daycare first. I agree with the other comments about it taking time, but for your own sanity when you know it's time to drop the termination bomb(pending this all doesn't work out;) do it! The child is a package: he comes with parents ;) it the whole package isn't jiving for one reason or 10, just cut the cord. A few days of stress & possibly parents begging to "take him back" will be well worth it in the end. Best of luck to you