Bed wetting.... desperate and long SOrry!

[mlle.coccinelle]

:no: I have this 3 YO girl that has been wetting the bed ( nap and night with parents) for the past month or so. she had been potty trained since September last year and rarely had any accidents.

today, she woke up from her nap and her clothes were so wet that she was dripping... parents have provided sheets for her, a Pee pad but they wont provide pull ups. She is only allowed to drink 5 ounces of water in the morning ( but somehow still do those massive pee) Parents told me to remove privileges from her... also told me to remove PM snack time if she wets the bed... they told me to make her sit and watch while the other kiddos play outside in the afternoon...... It's kinda getting to torture...
It seams to me that the more I remove and that we tell her that she is a ''big''girl the more she wets.

Mom told me yesterday that they think it's because the is the only ''big'' girl coming to my dayhome and its because it's not stimulating enough for her... But everyday, we have 2 hours of playtime together where we sit down and do craft, puzzle, play games where we count, we talk about colours... and when the younger one are awake we play games that everybody can enjoy. I'm a little bit overwhelmed by all of this.. She said that they are thinking of pulling her out of the dayhome to find one with kids her age.

I don't know what to do to first help her stop wetting the bed and second not lose this family since they are one of my only 2 full time and the little girl is a sweetheart....
Helpppp!

[mlle.coccinelle]

Oh! and I should mention, before taking away privileges, we tried a sticker calender, a treat system.. and she really doesn't care about it .

[Crayola kiddies]

If it were me I would just buy a cheapie package of pull ups or diapers and put them on her at nap. Saves her the added pressure/stress of worrying about peeing the bed and getting trouble. I think there is more going on ... Maybe something at home.... But some kids use it as a power struggle and some just sleep too soundly to wake up to pee. My own son is 3.5 and still wears a diaper at night Cause he pees and I don't want to change the bed every time. Sober ones he goes a week or two with out wetting in the diaper and just when I think maybe its time to go without he pees in it.

[torontokids]

It made me sad to read this. I don't agree with punishing a child so severely (or at all) for having accidents. You and the parents must be feeling at your wits end and I gather from your post that you don't entirely agree with their methods. Usually there is a reason for this. Some sort of familial change, sexual/physical/emotional abuse or medical. Have they ruled out medical reasons?

If the child is having accidents at home as well then how can your program be blamed for her accidents? How is a "non stimulating environment" causing her to act out in this way and how is taking away some of that stimulation going to help her?

I like the idea of taking the pressure off of her. You might just find that she stops altogether.

[mimi]

So this little one is having accidents so the plan is to punish her with withdrawl of priviledges, making her watch while the other children have playtime and dehydrating her?
As torontokids said, there is a good reason the child is wetting again and it should be investigated not punished. Jeez poor kid.
And poor you for having to put up with parents who won't send pull ups while this is going on so you get to clean up this child everytime she wets?
I have a friend whose child did this at about 4 yrs old..........it turns out she was diabetic. I hope this child is not suffering from any abuse or serious medical cause, but the first step is to make her feel secure and not to blame for her accidents.
Her parents reaction is really troubling.

[Trace of Angels]

OK so this little one is only 3 right????? I mean seriously???? Some children wet the bed until they are 9. And that is totally normal behaviour. Sometimes their physical bodies don't grow as fast as their minds. So that she knows and understands but can't control it......especially in her sleep. I wouldn't even dream of speaking to a doctor about it because it is so normal and very common to be still wetting the bed at 3. I mean some kids aren't even potty trained during the day at 3. I would do some research on bed wetting and be a gentle voice for this poor child, someone needs to fight for her. It sounds as if you care enough about her to be her voice. Poor child :-(

[Bookworm]

Maybe there is a medical reason why she is wetting the bed too. She could have an UTI. When she does have to go, is there a sense of urgency? Like she will pee her pants if she doesn't go right away? Does she go more often than she normally does?
My daughter has been potty trained since she was two, and will be four next month. She has recently started to wet the bed every so often (something she never does or did, even when I was potty training her). She has been battling a UTI for a month now (taking her to the dr's again on Thurs) but she never complains about pain, so other than me knowing the signs of one, would never have had her looked at.
I would talk to the parents and find out if anything has changed at home. Could be something small and insignificant to them, but to her unsettling. I don't agree with the way they are handling things. I agree with Crayola about buying some cheap pullups and giving them to her at your house.

[momofnerds]

i bet u that she is not emptying her bladder. I would put her on the potty more often, once before you eat and then just before bed too. Kids get busy playing and forget to go to the bathroom and are always in a rush.

or she has a uti.

[mlle.coccinelle]

Well I decided to buy some cheap pull ups for my own sanity... we will try the '' no pressure'' aspect. I know her schedule at home is very wierd right now.. they are 2 families of 5 people living under the same roof... the she is the youngest! I'm sending her every 2 hours to go potty now... hopefully that will help.
I'm also going to ask about UTI.. she should get checked out!

her mom thinks that if she is around children her own age, it will be easier for her to stop wetting...

[Crayola kiddies]

Have the 2 families always lived together or is the bed wetting coinciding with when they moved in Together ? Could be the stress that has triggered the bed wetting

[sunnydays]

This makes me mad to read that parents would punish this child for wetting her bed while sleeping!!! When we are asleep, we cannot necessarily control what our bodies do...this takes time to get! If I were you, I would tell the parents that you cannot and will not punish a child for such a thing and that making her sit out at snacktime is actually more like abuse than discipline (well you might not want to say it like that...LOL). Let her wear a pull-up until she is able to control her bladder while sleeping. She isn't aware that she is doing it...she cannot possibly be doing something on purpose while she is asleep!!! This is ludicrous! Honestly, I am not sure if I would even want to work with these parents...but definitely you need to put your foot down and tell them that you will not do these things at daycare and pull-ups need to be provided for sleep time (or waterproof training pants).

[playfelt]

Also make sure the child isn't waking up sooner from nap than the get up time. I know when I wake up I have to go right away so be sure that as soon as she wakes she gets to go instead of having to lay quietly till time is up if that is possible.

For sure the home situation sounds like it is probably contributing to the issues.

[mlle.coccinelle]

the other family moved in around january. ( when she started wetting more frequently) and its been everyday for the past month or so!
When i've put the pull up on her today she was crying so much it was heart breaking... hopefully stopping to make a big deal out of it will help a little

[playfelt]

It could be that there is so much confusion going on at home that she is overwhelmed and overtired so that when she gets the chance to actually sleep she is sleeping so deeply that she missese the sensations that normally wake someone to use the bathroom. If it is happening only while sleeping and not during the play day then I don't see how it is related to anythign other than overtired.

[JennJubie]

Ask her if she has the toilet dream. My son is a night time bed wetter, and he's a heavy sleeper. He's told me a few times that he dreams he's at the toilet. I was a bed wetter when I was a kid, and it was the same thing. I personally believe you can't punish a child for wetting in their sleep. I would've done the same, buy a cheap pack of pull ups and take the stress off of her.