Pulling my hair out!!

[Nurse]

So.. I'm not even sure where to start... I have a brother and sister that just started last Tuesday mon-Fri. Girl 4yrs and boy 19mo. The girls is very extreme high energy, constant running/screaming/squealing and the 19mo old does not listen at all. The girl gets all the other kids going so it has been some long long days of non stop energy. Usually the kids I have are fairly mellow.... So.. One of the 2.5yr olds I have has always been hitting/biting/pinching/kicking, but it was finally starting to become under control.. Possibly bc I had some kids that I terminated so it has just been me and him or him and two other kids... So since these new kids have come into the picture he is a monster... Bt I did notice it was starting back just before they started coming. His mom is blaming the new kids for his bad behaviour and says its not right to discipline him for a behaviour when it's bc he doesn't like the new kids.. He plays fine with the new kids! Usually if he is upset he will wet himself.. He hasn't had one accident but has been wetting the bed at home which apparently is because of the new kids.. She told me today that something has to be done... I don't want to loose this kid as I think no matter where he goes this behaviour will not change.. Guess maybe in September when the new baby comes she may the finally see his true colours... What do I do?! The new kids are getting on my nerves but at the same time....

[gramma]

you can explain that its a new transition for everyone and it will take some time to bond the group. in any case please dont let a client pressure you into terminating because she doesnt like the new situation. If she chooses to leave, let her. Take photos of her child playing with the new kids and email to her and the best you can do is re assure her that he is having fun. Parents can be quick to blame bad influences when their child has behavour issues. If she was dealing effectively with his behaviour at home regardless of the reason for the behaviour it wouldnt continue to be a problem.

[Crayola kiddies]

I had a parent pull that card on me a few years ago .... " he's acting like this cause if the new kids and he's not getting the attention that he's used to" I just told her that life is always changing and children will adapt and her child will too. And he did!
I would sit the 4 yr old down and with your stern face read her the riot act .... Tell her how it is at your house and what happens if the rules aren't followed. You gotta set the bar high right from the beginning. The 19 month old needs a firm hand too ... Give him consequences for his bad behaviour every time..... The first week or two will be tough but it will get better as they realize you mean business

[JennJubie]

In the end no matter why it is that he is acting out, he needs to be disciplined. It should always be done in a firm but fair manner, but the discipline still needs to be there. Life is full of transition we can't shelter children from it.

[Nurse]

Thanks for the great replies... The update.... I told her the past few days he has been playing well with the new girl... So then she says oh well it must be bc ur friend and her son are staying with you so my son is jealous his mom is there... Seriously?! Also told me not to give him juice and lots of sugar... I don't remember the last time he had juice and they rarely get sugar here.. I feel like telling her to take a hike! Her husband and my hubby are friends so she had her husband call mine to see if I was being unfair!

[Crayola kiddies]

Ummmm ya take a hike ......... Next .....

[gramma]

Thanks for the great replies... The update.... I told her the past few days he has been playing well with the new girl... So then she says oh well it must be bc ur friend and her son are staying with you so my son is jealous his mom is there... Seriously?! Also told me not to give him juice and lots of sugar... I don't remember the last time he had juice and they rarely get sugar here.. I feel like telling her to take a hike! Her husband and my hubby are friends so she had her husband call mine to see if I was being unfair!

She had her husband call your husband???? uhhhhh waaaaaaayyyyy over the line. I would have flipped my lid.

[momofnerds]

wetting his pants at night because of the new kids, now thats a new one. I could understand if the kids was having nightmares but wetting, I don't think so.

[Nurse]

Today it is just him and of course he is a perfect angel.... I really want to tell them I think his issue is that his mom doesn't spend time with him anymore.. She goes straight to bed when they get home bc she is constantly sick with her pregnancy.. My husband asked her husband if they will home school him bc how else will he manage when he goes to school lol

[Momof4]

She had her husband call your husband???? uhhhhh waaaaaaayyyyy over the line. I would have flipped my lid.

OMG! That's kind of childish, isn't it? It's sad that the child doesn't get time with his Mom. You need to tell this dcMom that your husband does not run your business, YOU run your business. Too weird!