View Full Version : Would you terminate due to constant whining/crying

07-14-2011, 10:42 AM
I have a 15 mth old in my care who I don't think has ever been told 'no' at home. I also think he gets picked up every time he makes a peep. When he first started with me at a year he whined/screamed/cried quite a bit. It got better and now he's doing it again. If I'm not in his prescense, he's crying. If I happen to put him down after changing or feeding, he cries. If he's not crying, he's basically walking around whining. I try to ignore it as much as possible so he doesn't think he can get away with that with me but it's really starting to get to me.

I've mentioned to Mom on more than one occassion that he hasn't had great days and she doesn't seem too concerned about it. I really like this family and hate to think of terminating but if it's affecting our day, it's probably the best thing to do, right? I have thought of writing a letter and putting it in dcb's bag stating our issue and see if we can get on the same page about the picking up, letting him cry things out, etc but am not sure how she'll react. If I did that I would consider it a warning and hope it gets better. If not, I guess I would terminate.

Would that be my best way to go about it??

07-14-2011, 12:10 PM
It really depends on your level of patience in my opinion. From what I gather you are having a pretty rough time with the child if you are on here seeking advice lol

If you are the type who "works with " the parents you could come up with a plan of action like you mentioned so that no one pays attention to the whining and it may help to stop the behavior.
But if your patience is wearing thin,you are not at your best for him OR the others in your care and that's not fair to you or anyone else.

Personally, I would terminate. When it gets to the point where it is affecting everyone;s day, it;s not good.
If the mother is not implicating herself that would also rub me the wrong way.
In short, do what you feel is right !
Good luck and keep us posted k?

Judy Trickett
07-14-2011, 12:23 PM
The short answer is YES! I will (and have) terminate a constantly whining/crying child. It's not fair to the other kids or myself to have to listen to that 9 hours a day. It grates on the nerves and makes for a very unpleasant day. I have a responsibility to the other kids too to offer a safe, fun and calm environment. One constant crier is not gonna work here.

07-14-2011, 01:03 PM
Have you asked the mother if she picks him up all the time? as well what her prefered method of disipline is? When my little one was in daycare I was on the opposite end of things. I couldn't get anything done at home due to my little one wanting to be held all the time and if you can beleive it I had to ask my provider to stop picking her up!

Just curious as to what the Mom has to say?

07-14-2011, 02:06 PM
If you feel like you can bring the subject up, I think it would be worth it to give it a shot talking to mom or dad. Just mention that he doesn't seem very happy a lot of the time (as hard as it may be, try to avoid the word 'whiny') and the only thing that seems to soothe him is being picked up. Explain that it is simply not feasible in a multi-child care environment, and ask what other methods they use at home. If you get the 'uh, uh, well....' then you know that it's for exactly that reason! If you can, ask that mom and dad work to find other ways to make him happy at home, like using activities to distract him, not just cuddles.
The bottom line is; for me, if it affects our day-to-day then it is a possible termination scenario. Like the others said, it's not fair to you or to everyone else in your care to deal with a whiny, boo-hooing little person for 8+ hours. Ugh... I have a 2 year old that can get insanely whiny and sucky if she is overtired, but she is old enough that I can say to her "When you are done crying, you come and see us again." I put her on my daughter's bed (door is open, light is on) and she just comes out when she is calm again. But I would not do this with a 15 month old, he is a little too young.

07-15-2011, 12:07 PM
I have exactly the same problem with a 15mo girl. I've had her since her mother went back to work and for most of the past 3 months she's been that way. I have often thought of terminating her, but feel it's a bit tricky because we're friends. I have asked if they picke her up/hold her a lot when at home and have been told no. But think something must be going on, she even cries when I tell her to go play. She only seems happy when eating or being held. Her crying has definately made my fuse shorter with not just her but the other kids in my care on those days. Thankfully she's not a full timer.

07-15-2011, 01:39 PM
Nifer the first thought that comes to my mind is that while the mom might not be physically picking her up she is doing the equivalent such as putting the child in her high chair with some cheerios or whatever while she makes supper or loads/unloads dishwasher. The child is "with" the parent and not expected to "go play". Do you have any success putting her in an exersaucer or playpen with a few toys as in some kids actually do better when they are confined and play perameters are defined for them - here are two toys.