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View Full Version : Stubborn, lazy, or normal?



fruitloop
07-14-2011, 02:17 PM
I have a dcg(14 months) in care who hates to walk. She can't walk on her own (which isn't the odd part), won't walk along furniture but will stand up holding on to furniture...just won't walk along it really. If you hold her hands to practice walking she has a complete fit, lifts her legs up and will just hang there until it's uncomfortable for her(which isn't very long) and then she'll put her feet down and walk while having a fit for the first little while because she's mad that she's being made/encouraged to do it ...but she only does this if I force her to do it. Before she came here about 2 months ago her parents couldn't get her to do this at all but I force her to do it because imo she SHOULD be able and want to do this. She also won't sit on a ride on toy and push with her legs and she won't use a push toy to walk either. She does crawl and she will walk on her knees but has a hissy fit when I make her use her feet when holding her hands. Is this stubbornness, laziness on her part, normal, a delay or what? I've never met/seen a child who hates using their feet and refuses to do it in my life.

mom-in-alberta
07-14-2011, 02:58 PM
Hmmmm.... tricky issue. My own 3 walked at 12 mo, 9 1/2 mo and over 15 mo (in that order). So clearly there is no "normal" age.
Based on your description, then I would guess that she doesn't want to. Do you get the impression that she is getting hysterical because she doesn't want to do it, and not because it's painful or something like that? I am presuming that the family's doctor has not indicated any problem with her hips or any such thing. They are pretty diligent these days looking out for that stuff. I don't think they really get worried, medically, unless the child is still not walking when approaching the 18 mo mark.
I think I would continue to encourage her to walk, but perhaps not try to "force" the issue. If she is a strong willed child (you would see that in other areas and behaviours) then it will only make her resist more. Talk to her positively about walking, like a "big girl!!" and try not to carry her unless necessary. Do you have older kids around? Usually seeing the others running and playing will be a good incentive.

Skysue
07-14-2011, 04:47 PM
I have a dcg(14 months) in care who hates to walk. She can't walk on her own (which isn't the odd part), won't walk along furniture but will stand up holding on to furniture...just won't walk along it really. If you hold her hands to practice walking she has a complete fit, lifts her legs up and will just hang there until it's uncomfortable for her(which isn't very long) and then she'll put her feet down and walk while having a fit for the first little while because she's mad that she's being made/encouraged to do it ...but she only does this if I force her to do it. Before she came here about 2 months ago her parents couldn't get her to do this at all but I force her to do it because imo she SHOULD be able and want to do this. She also won't sit on a ride on toy and push with her legs and she won't use a push toy to walk either. She does crawl and she will walk on her knees but has a hissy fit when I make her use her feet when holding her hands. Is this stubbornness, laziness on her part, normal, a delay or what? I've never met/seen a child who hates using their feet and refuses to do it in my life.

Just curious but why the rush for her to walk? I say let her take he own pace and she will do it when she is ready. She sounds to me like the type of child who wants to do it all on her own. I have a little guy who didn't walk until 16 months and now he is everywhere and into everything. :( Be careful what you wish for. LOL

Keep being her biggest cheerleader when she does start!

playfelt
07-14-2011, 06:48 PM
My daughter has special needs but she did walk on her knees for a long time before she pulled to a stand. It was about balance, an understanding of her vestibular motion (how to stand without falling over). She needed more trunk (spine) control. We did lots of exercises with her arms over her head, tied ribbons to a plastic fly swatter for her to wave, encouraged her to play while on her knees where she couldn't see around her so she had to rely on her own sense of balance (stand in front of her and hold a toy with buttons for her to push). My daughter also has visual issues and that made it hard for her with the balance too because you rely on visual stimuli to get a sense of where in space your body is.

It sounds like the parents might be guilty of carrying her when it wasn't necessary as in if she whined enough they went and picked her up instead of insisting she crawl over so some of it is likely a learned behaviour. Not all kids are walking by 14 months and espcially in recent years with the use of exersaucers, high chairs, swings etc that confine the child and dont' let them exercise and learn balance.

mom-in-alberta
07-14-2011, 07:18 PM
Lol @ Skysue: You are probably right about "be careful what you wish for"!!
Thinking back to my own daughter (she was the one who was over 15 months); we were getting frantic to see her walking. She really didn't walk much with push toys or anything, except cruise around the furniture.
When she started walking, she was practically running! We actually nicknamed her "Hurricane A------", because she was so busy!
Moral of the story: don't sweat it, if it's not a medical thing. She'll get there eventually. Chances are she will be walking by kindergarten! :)

fruitloop
07-14-2011, 08:09 PM
I find kids that walk are easier and I know exactly what I'm wishing for...lol. I've just never really come across a little one who was so determined to not walk.

sunnydays
07-15-2011, 11:54 AM
I wouldn't rush it...forcing her to try walking may only make her want to do it less. Some kids don't walk until 18 months. As someone else said, the use of swings, car seats, exersaucers etc. has probably slowed things down a lot, but I don't think there is much you can do except to not put her in those thigns while she is with you and eventually she will decide she wants to do it.