Home Daycare when your own children are older

[mommyof4]

Hi, I'm a Mom of four (ages 5-13) who are all in school full time and I just completed my ECE!! I was planning on working in daycare outside of the home since I stayed at home with my own children but really miss being there when my kids get in from school so i'm thinking about home childcare.

How do your older children feel about or react to having little ones in their home while their at school? Any tips/experiences?

I love this forum - it makes me so excited about opening my own daycare but feeling a little overwhelmed about where to start!

[Sandbox Sally]

My kids are ages 8-13, and they love love love the daycare kids. Yeah, sometimes they wish that I didn't have other kids here eating their favourite snacks, or touching their stuff, or sitting in their living room, or in their back yard, but I remind them that the alternative is them coming home to an empty house after school, or going to a daycare themselves. This hits home for them. I know they very much appreciate having me here. I also have to sometimes remind them that if I didn't have the daycare kids here, they wouldn't get an allowance. :lol:

[mommyof4]

Lol - allowance will be a good reminder :). I think my kids will really appreciate having me here again too! Thanks for your reply it puts things a little more in perspective!

[Crayola kiddies]

I welcome to the forum ..... actually my 8 yr old just had this conversation with me the other day...he was asking me why I had to do daycare ....so I told him that I had to work but I didn't have to do daycare I could always work somewhere else and on pd days, snow days, xmas and march break and summer holidays they could go to daycare.......he paused for a nanosecond and declared "daycare rocks"

I also want to add I have a totally separate daycare space so the daycare kids are not touching my kids things and they only sleep in the bedrooms so the only compromise is that my kids have a pack and play in their bedrooms. when they are off school they are not required to come into the daycare and may play upstairs but if they choose to be in the daycare they must follow the daycare rules

[Sandbox Sally]

Honestly? I think there are worse things than my kids having to share their stuff with daycare kids. If they were little and had play dates, they'd have to share their crap with their "friends".

If my kids want to get away, or use stuff that daycare kids can't use, they just go to their rooms. No big deal. The daycare kids aren't allowed in their rooms unless they're napping in a play pen or invited by my kids.

[bright sparks]

First off I will start by saying that being in my 7th year of daycare and having a 10 and 12 year old, they love the daycare children. They interact really well with them and the only time I ever had an issue was during the first year when I had 3 year old at the same time as my own 3 year old which I think is normal having "competition" for my attention. As soon as he went to Kindergarten this was no issue.

I am however going to play devil's advocate for a moment and be very frank about the negative impact it has on my own children. It's all good and well that people say that they are there for their kids after school, on PA days and during school holidays, but honestly, I must spend more time asking my kids to wait, because I am attending to the youngsters than I actually do being there for them and this has a profound effect on children. Especially when they are being asked to wait and seeing me give my attention to other peoples children. They completely understand and don't make a fuss about it, but it's not to say that it doesnt effect them in any way. My kids are independent and do most things for themselves now, but contrary to what people might say, I do not get valuable time with my own children when I am working. After school, I actually make a point now of having 30 minutes of tv time for the daycare kids, due to the fact that I can't live with the guilt tied to never being able to give myself 100% to them when they come home from school. It's not just a matter of how much time I see them but more the quality of time I spend with them that counts. Now if I worked outside of the home, then there would be less time all together, BUT, the expectation wouldn't exist either. I wouldn't be here full stop and my kids wouldn't expect more from me because I wouldn't be present, almost like teasing them with something they can't always have. My son is gifted/LD and he has a hard time having to wait 2 hours after school for me to help him with his work or if he needs me for something, hence why I decided that if my own kids have to share my attention with the daycare children where they are 2nd, then sometimes the daycare kids have to come 2nd also so I can be more of a mother at certain times to my own children.

In the past my kids have told me they would love it if I could just be a mother to them and when I have asked them, it's not because they dont want to share me or recent the children being here, its just that it comes at a price to them when they are ALWAYS being made to wait. If the kids were younger they would be requiring the same as the daycare kids so I would be playing with them and hanging out with them all together due to their similar needs and abilities, but sometimes the balance is hard to keep now.

Don't take this the wrong way. There are some great benefits to this job, and in some ways they are seeing my kids more and putting every meal on the table for them is one of them. But in reality, there will be times when you will be putting your job first which will result in difficulties in meeting both groups of kids needs.

[sunnydays]

I have a teenager and two little ones (5 and almost 3), so not quite in the same boat age-wise, but for me, I only see positives for my kids. That is not to say at all that it isn't difficult for them at times to share me and their home etc. It IS difficult at times. But, I actually see this difficulty as a positive thing. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and would never want them to suffer....but I feel that them learning to share me and their home and their things is something that will make them grow up into the kind of sharing, caring adults I would love them to become. In our society, where we have only a couple of kids and each child has his own room, own toys, own everything, there is not enough emphasis on teaching kids to share, to help each other, to get along with others, to care for each other and most importantly that the world does NOT revolve around them. I think, as parents, we have to be really careful not to fall into the trap of giving our kids what they want and not what they need...there is a big difference most of the time!

[daycaremom9]

I didn't start daycare until my youngest was17. I think it was pretty tough on my kids even though sharing with the dc kids wasn't an issue. But they still had to watch their behaviour around the kids.
Which , come to think about it, was harder on me than it was on them!lol.

[momofnerds]

I have 4 kids (ages 8 to 15) and I've been at this for 9 yrs so my youngest grew up in my daycare. They never complain. The only problem I have is that now that my oldest is in highschool I have to get her from school so I pack all the kids and go and get her (she loves to be involved) no one complains because they understand that you have to be there for your own kids too. Also, I have a nice cheering squad too, you should see them yell at track and field, you can't beat that.
My kids can go to their rooms anytime they want, this is why I don't do school agers anymore. I found that it was too stressful for my kids to have to entertain a friend. With the littles they have so much fun.
Another bonus is that when they come home from school I'm there so I listen to their day, have dinner done or dessert and they really like that.
As long as you can seperate daycare from your own personal life then you will be fine, even my kids know that after 5pm we NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT DAYCARE.

[mommyof4]

Wow, thanks for all the replies! I think having enough time (and energy) for my own kids is a big concern for me. When I think about after school right now they all want to tell me about their day so trying to imagine having four or five other kids here at that time is a little scary, lol.

I am looking at part time work but in childcare that often means supply work where you're on call and I really was a consistent schedule for our whole family. I love the idea of being here every day to provide healthy meals and snacks, see them off to school, and have the comfort of coming home with me there. All your replies are so helpful, I think I need to start planning this daycare!

[cfred]

I started my daycare up when my boys were 2 and 3.5 and my daughter was 10. They're now 15, 16 and 22. They had the odd complaint about kids being everywhere, and that they didn't want cribs in their rooms. My response was 'this is how we make money so you can have that bedroom, toys, clothes and food, so suck it up'. That got the message across. Over the years, they've had close friends in the daycare and have been raised to be very tolerant of young children. Now, my 6 feet tall plus teen boys come in after school and baby talk to the toddlers and play with them....it's quite adorable :)

Like you, I wanted to be home for my children. I'm an ECE and have worked in daycare centres and hated the rotating shifts. I wanted continuity for myself and my family, in addition to running the program MY way. Also, the fact that this is a far more lucrative way to be in this industry didn't slip by me. It's been a great fit for my family. Plus, some of my past clients have remained close family friends, long since they've moved on. All in all, despite the ups and downs, it has been a tremendous benefit to my children, me and our family in general. Good luck and I hope you find the same experience :D