Time for First Termination?

[cfred]

Good morning! I'm stuck.....this is a little long....

I recently interviewed 2 families and both were golden interviews, both wanted to hire me. I took one family over another as we all have had to do. It was an agonizing decision as I really liked the other family very, very much on a personal level. But this family could come on for 2 days/week while I have a temporary client here, then move to full time after they leave. It was purely a business decision.

Soooo, the family I chose has a 6 MO girl who's never been left with anyone in the past (not even grandparents). Always up for a challenge, I took her on even gave them a couple hours on a Saturday to get acquainted. She'd had 2 full days here which went quite well. The bond has been established and she seems to like me quite a lot. I sent text updates through the day to Mom and took pictures to show them. The progress seemed to be, I thought, quite good. After only 2 days, she reaches for me. She's quite clingy with me, but I figure that will wane as she gets used to the setting.

Apparently at home however, she was very, very tired and clingy. DCPs very concerned that she was so 'off' at home. They don't have concerns about 'me' and think I'm terrific, but are worried about DCGs reaction. They wanted to decrease to half days for this week to see if it helped. We had a half day Tues, which went well and were to have another this morning. Dad emailed and said she wouldn't be in today as she was still having a hard time at home.

I've told them that children of all ages react to starting daycare for the first time. It can affect many aspects of their lives until they've adjusted. Being tired is completely normal. I stressed that routine and continuity are crucial to expediting the process, but they would like me to humour them. I'm wondering if I should just terminate. They're really nice and the baby is adorable. I'm just not feeling like the child will ever acclimate if her schedule is constantly changed. Maybe the parents are feeling that they've made a mistake putting her in so early......I feel as though they are undoing my intense effort to acclimate a young baby on a very part time schedule. We've made such good progress, but now she'll have missed a whole week, which knocks it all back a peg or 2.

[apples and bananas]

I went back to work when my little guy was only 4 months old. And I placed him with a trusted home daycare (my daughter had been going there for years)

I felt horrible. And wished I had that time back. So, I understand a parents feelings of guilt, especially when it's just not going perfectly.

Have you tried to find some articles on line about transitioning... entering home daycares... what to expect... children thriving on consistency?

It's hard at 6 months as a baby doesn't always have a consistent schedule. They're still doing a lot of "sleep when your sleepy, eat when your hungry" So the parents really need to be on board and work with you as far as getting a consistent schedule and routine started.

I probably wouldn't terminate at this point. I would still work with the parents on getting on board with your schedule and keeping consistent. A number of things can change a babies behaviour at this age... teeth, diet etc. It may not even be daycare that's causing the issue, or they may be seeing things that aren't there.

Good luck... I hope you can make this work. It's such a pain to start a new child only to have to go through the process over again when it doesn't work out.

[cfred]

I have discussed this with them both at length. They asked me to humour them. I have no hard feelings toward them, but truthfully, the new baby takes A LOT of time from the other kids as I'm trying to get her acclimated on a part time schedule. Dropping days is just making it impossible to establish any sort of routine.

The dad ended his email with 'we'll be back in touch in a couple days', not 'she'll return next week'. My feeling is that they've come to the same conclusion as me.

I've written a term email, but saved it to my drafts. I'll await more feedback from all you trusty providers and will make my decision this afternoon. I'm quite certain I can fill the spot by Aug (when temp client leaves and baby was to go full time). The family that wanted to hire me on the spot may even still be looking. Ugh.....I just want to play with the kids, not make business decisions.

[Skysue]

It's a huge trust issues for so many and frankly I would just terminate, if there this picky and this early I would say. Next

[daycaremum]

I think I would just lay it out, politely and kindly of course. Either they stick to a regular, consistent schedule (baby is not going to adjust quicker if they continually keep her at home) as you have already asked, or it won't work out with you and you were happy to meet them and their lovely daughter but they need to look elsewhere for care. Tell them that the inconsistency is too difficult on baby, you and the other children in care. Let them decide.

[cfred]

Yeah, I think my decision is made. I'm going to send the email. I just don't see an end to adjustment period with the changes in schedule. We're only into the second week and it's already begun. Too bad.....I like them. The baby was making good progress. She reaches for me and looks to me for comfort, so the bond is established. I just don't think mum and dad are ready.

Thanks ladies :)

[dodge__driver11]

Hi cfred, Kinda late to the game here, but I had the same problem with one dcf, and basically told them stick to the transition schedule I've laid out or find another provider....They stuck it out and dcg is awesome here.... Pm me if ya wanna blab :)

Hope you are well:)

[cfred]

Thanks Dodge. I already sent out the email. I've not heard back from them as yet, but will leave it for another hour or so before I contact my waiting list potentials. There's one family in particular who were very disappointed that I took this family over them. They said they hoped to have something sorted out by May....maybe they're still available. I have till August to fill the spot as I have a temp until then. The family I just termed just kinda worked well as they wanted to fill the 2 day spot till the temp left, then they'd move to full time. Not a huge loss, but I still hate making these decisions. Blah.....