Having a bad year-vent

[madmom]

Things are not going very well in my daycare and I need some encouragement and advice. I live in an older area where it is hard to find children and it can take me months to find new clients. I lost a client on March break out of the blue, they gave me 3 days notice (paid me out 2 weeks) and left me high and dry with no real reason except that they found care closer to home. That was very upsetting as I spent no less than 6 weeks listening to their son scream all day everyday and once I got him finally settled in and playing nicely they took him out.
Right now I have a 3 yo, 2 yo and a 15 mo all boys, the 3 year old is very aggressive and is turning into a real bully, snatching toys and behaving badly, he disrespects me, my toys, the other children and I can't seem to get through to him. He has a peanut allergy but his epi-pen expired and the parents won't replace it cause they don't believe he is anaphalactic anymore, I am on pins and needles all day but I'm not sure how to proceed with this. I know it is a liability but ultimately he is their responsibility and if they choose to ignore the problem does that mean I should. Help!
Financially I need the income from this guy but I am worried about the influence he is having on the littler ones in my care. Any suggestions? Any help would be appreciated.
I should also mention I have NO backbone and have a hard time standing up for myself...I'm wondering if I should just go find something else or continue being unhappy until I find some new clients (my ads have been out for awhile but nothing)
I am also dealing with a dcm who is trying to micro manage my daycare, for example...doesn't like foods I serve, why aren't we playing out side more, why isn't her 15 month old doing crafts yet? and the list went on. Seriously, I'm getting to the end of my rope You would think we never did an interview. I would love to hear from the other dcp's out there with advice or suggestions to make me feel better about this job.
Thanks for letting me rant

[treeholm]

First of all, I am sending you a cyber hug. It sounds like you are in a rough patch for sure. This profession attracts people who are kind and giving (you have to be!) and that means we are probably more likely to be people who have difficulty standing up for ourselves; however, we can learn! I would recommend you grab a cup of coffee and read through past postings. You will discover that the more experienced among us have all learned to grow a backbone, many through making mistakes early on. One thing I am glad I learned from this group before I began was NOT to accept families out of desperation, but to wait for a good match. It sounds like the three you have are a handful, so I hope you are able to find a couple of angels to counteract that.
In the meantime, you need to curb the 3 yo's aggressive behaviour. I have a friend dealing with a child like that, and I watch how she deals with it when we are at the park. The SECOND he shows aggressive, he goes back in the stroller for timeout. Some mornings, he spent the entire playtime screaming in the stroller, but over the 8 months I've been doing this, I've noticed a great improvement. I had one who had temper tantrums (4 year old) but I made her go into another room until she was calm, and I see huge improvement also. I think you need to find ways to take control of the situation rather than feeling like this is all happening to you beyond your control. As for the epi-pen, just ask for a doctor's note stating that he no longer requires one. You may have to terminate this child if you don't get it. You cannot afford to have a child die in your daycare! If you cannot do without the income, then perhaps you do want to look at other options, and there is nothing wrong with that. But you need to get the situation with the 3 year old under control. As for the micromanaging Mom, just smile and thank her for her input and then go ahead and run your business as you see fit. Crafts with a 15 month old... really? At that age it's you doing the craft for them. They can't even handle crayons without eating them....
Sorry to be so long-winded, but it sounds like you just have a difficult group right now. New children could turn everything around.

[Skysue]

Madmom is your home close to parks, an elementary school, or library? If so you could post flyers for an open house for either Summer care or care for the spring. Sometimes it's good for people to know your out there.

Your 3 year old sounds like he is not being stimulated enough, don't take that personal as its due to him not having friends his age. Kids like him need tons of outside time to tucker him out! You didn't mention if you had kids of your own?

Another Mom on a different forum suggested putting a sign on the back of your wagon with your daycare info. You could also put one on your lawn. You could make your own with a stencil kit and wall decals from the dollar store.

[madmom]

Thanks for the encouragement, I hereby resolve to be tougher with the 3 year old. I think he is pretty used to getting to do whatever at home and doesn't get that daycare is not home. As for finding a new client I have a 1 year old starting in Sept and don't really want too many close in age, I just don't find I can handle it. So I guess for now I grin and bear it and hope from my ads a miracle child drops into my lap (the right age, right temperament etc.) wish me luck

[sunnydays]

For the three year old, it will probably take working with the parents as well as the child to get any progress. If his parents let him do whatever he wants, you will be fighting an uphill battle, especially if you have had him in your care for awhile and he is not following your rules. I would lay it all on the line for the parents and explain exactly what the problem is and how you propose guiding the child to better behaviour. If it doesn't work and parents aren't willing to do their part...I personally, would terminate. But, I do understand that you need the income and it is not a very viable option for you right now.
As for the other mom, I am wondering if she knew before starting with you what kind of meals you serve (sample menus) and what your policy on crafts is. Did you tell her in the interview that her child would be doing crafts and now she feels you are not living up to that? Or did you tell her that crafts are limited until a certain age and explain that once the child reaches 18 months (for example) he will be doing more? Sometimes I think it is a lack of communication that can cause this type of problem as the parent doesn't understand our reasons for doing things unless we explain it clearly from the beginning. Good luck with everything!

[Skysue]

Craft ideas for a 15 month old, pasta or cheerio/fruit loop necklace. Finger painting, if the child puts everything in there mouth then use pudding chocolate or vanilla. You can cut out shapes and give them stickers to put on. When done take it away to give to Mom.

For backyard fun get a plastic bucket or sand pail fill it with water give the kids each a large paint brush from the dollar store and tell them to paint the fence. This will keep them busy fir a while.

You can do tons of crafts with hand prints and foot prints, one I have always loved to do was get sponges let them dip in paint and make an abstract picture, once dry I would cut out large flowers around 5 then add pipe cleaner to the middle then each child has a bouquet for Mommy.

You can also do collages with cheerios/fruit loops and use paste for glue. Paste is just flower and water.

Another fun one for outside play is to randomly pour glue on paper then let the kids sprinkle sand all over it then shake off and vola!

Homade maracas :http://kidsactivitiesblog.c om/13120/homemade-maracas


Oh and mini marshmallows are great for colleges too!

[Skysue]

http://pinterest.com/justforme/hand-print-foot-print-art-ideas/

Handprint ideas!

[Momof4]

Well, I have nothing to add! These wonderful ladies have said it all. I would have written Treeholm's post exactly as she wrote it. I'm just chiming in with the cyber hug and encouragement for you to be tough, it's your business, your rules, they signed the contract agreeing to abide by all of it.

I do take my group outside every day possible and we only craft one day a week, but I have babies as young as 10 months learning to colour with washable markers. I tape a paper to their booster table and help them learn that they are making colours, not putting it in their mouths, same with playdo, fingerpainting. Parents love it when you hand them a piece of paper with 5 marks on it made by their baby! Handprint crafts are awesome for babies because they make a great keepsake for the parents and the babies are learning about the textures and ins and outs of crafting.