Fuss Pot Child!

[DaycareLady]

Hi ladies! I have a 1 year old that has been here for a few months, totally happy here, comes in smiling and is happy for the most part. Heis also full time so totally used to the schedule now. However, at home He is an only child and I know he gets picked up by his Mom at the smallest whimper.

He has started this with me, and is SO whinny now just looking at me and whining for no reason....but the thing is, if I pick him up and give him a cuddle and try and put him back down, he FREAKS worse than his whining because I have put him down. For this reason i try to avoid picking him up when he is whining. I do play with the children nd give them lots of attention but I don't even pick up my own children when they are whining....am I a horrible person?! My Mom was here today when this boy started this and was like "why don't you just pick him up" I told her because it will make it worse...sure enough SHE picks him up and tries to put him back down and he was a basket case for the next 30 mins.

Should I even talk to Mom about this? Of should I just keep doing what I am doing? I am thinking if her and I get on the same page it will really help the boy....but then again, I think I will come off as insensitive and uncaring....I'm really not, but I can have this 27lb baby attached to me all day while I have 5 other young ones to give attention to! *sigh*

[Fun&care]

I don't think you are a terrible person at all. I actually try not to pick kids up as much as possible. For me its just too hard on my back, and once I pick one up, they all want to be picked up. The only exception to me holding and cuddling them is when I am kneeling on the ground and they sit in my lap. I would just ignore the whining and redirect DCB. He will get the point eventually. Just encourage him to play or do other things on his own.

And I would tell dcm exactly what you are doing. There is no shame in what you are doing. Group care is different than caring for one child.

[apples and bananas]

i have one that is not an only child, but the second of 2. She does the same thing. As soon as she get's the least bit sleepy she will go into whiny mode. Oh, it drives me crazy! And the instinct is to pick her up, but I know if I do then she's won.

I will often come down to her level and give her a hug and speak softly to her to calm her, but that's the most they get outa me!

[Momof4]

Applause and kudos to you Daycarelady because I would do exactly as you are doing. I would be having a talk with the Mom about "No reward for whining, screaming or crying for no reason." As a matter of fact I have had that talk with more than one Mom. A few families were terminated because they asked me to hold the baby all day. How can we possibly cater to one child when we have to treat them all equally. Sure we bond with them when they are new but then the children have to learn to mix in with the others and play and have fun.

The only child excuse doesn'f fly with me. Almost all the children I've had in care have been only children and the ones with good parents have all been well behaved and learn that there are rules and consequences.

[DaycareLady]

thanks ladies! I did end up talking Mom and she was awesome about it saying "I know I know I shouldn't reinforce his whining behavior, I am going to work on that!" I am glad she is a behaviourist lol (what I used to be at my old job)! SHe totally sees what she is doing and I am so glad I talked to her! thanks for the support girls I may not have!

[mlle.coccinelle]

i feel you!
I'm going trough the same thing right now!!!
Little dude has been doing great for weeks and weeks and since Monday he has been whining NON STOP!
Her son is 30 pounds and I am very pregnant... there is no way I will pick him up at every sound he makes...! I try to encourage him to go play with the others or come and take part in what ever activity we are doing and he is not interested at all! He will get over it eventually.... I hope!