Lied about age?

[Big Hearts]

I was wondering if any of you have copies of health cards or birth certificates? I am just wondering as I have a dcb who's first birthday this weekend, I let him come to my daycare because he will be one soon. We have had him three weeks now. But he is way behind any one year old I have ever had. His records say he wasn't a premature, and no disabilities. He has trouble holding his head up for long periods of time, he isn't on any solid foods yet so I have mom bring food with him. He isn't standing or crawling, not talking and he still has that baby shriek when he cries. I find the odd thing is his mom hasn't mentioned a birthday yet....its this weekend. We never got an invite or she hasn't mentioned any thing about him turning one when we chat in the sun room at drop off or pick up time. My husband and my parents(we own homes side by side) think the family lied just to get him in a daycare. A lot of daycares in my area including mine don't take babies under the age of one. I guess what Im asking is...Is it out of line to ask for copies of this documents? And has any one had parents lie on forms?

[Crayola kiddies]

No I haven't had anyone lie to me .... Nor have I ever been invited to a dcks birthday nor do I want to be. Not really interested in blurring the lines. Since he's been with you for such a short time you could say you forgot to ask for photocopies of his health card and immunization records for his file in case of an emergency. And see what she produces.

[playfelt]

I am confused by the arbitrary rule of no babies under a year. Do you have some sort of guideline developmentally or is it just a blanket rule based on the calendar? When you interviewed the family I'm sure you got a sense of the child and asked questions as to whether the child was going to be a good fit for your daycare. I got the sense that it would be ok if the child was 12 months old but developmentally delayed but not ok if the child was 10 months and at the same developmental level.

You need to consider what it is you need the children to be doing when they start care and then interview accordingly - they must be able to stand, starting to cruise, feeding self table foods, not on a bottle, not needing a morning nap - whatever criteria you need and then if a parent with a 9 month old interviews that has already started walking and using a spoon comes you can accept them as they meet your developmental rules.

What you are describing is a child that is about 6 months old and I'm sure you would be able to tell the difference. My guess is that there are developmental issues that the parents are not yet ready to admit to and/or they have a doctor who has taken a wait and see approach or worse they haven't been having medical appointments for the child which can happen if they use a clinic for immunizations and there are few between 6 months and 12 months.

On the birthday issue not all families go all out for birthdays and especially if they don't have a lot of money or a lot of family in the area. They may have very few real friends. The child will be due for the MMR vaccine at 12 months so what about using that as your lead in. A child needs to have eaten eggs before they can get that or at least used to have to be exposed so ask if you can add egg to the diet, ask when child is scheduled for that appointment, etc. just to get the family talking. Do you have vaccination records for the child or could they be a family that doesn't vaccinate and only goes to the doctor when sick. A lot of issues going on here and whether they lied or not may be only a minor issue where the child is concerned.

[Skysue]

I have all children's info before they start plus copies of there health cards which would reflect this info. Do you not require this information?

[sunnydays]

I ask for copies of their imunization record, but not birth certificates or health cards. Playfelt had some great advice in terms of thinking about what you are looking for a child to have before starting with you. I personally, have no problem starting them younger as they often adjust so much more easily and quickly and I have had kids start with me at 1 year of age who could not walk until they were 18 months, so being one doesn't guarantee anything really.

[sunnydays]

Oh and just wanted to day, I have never been invited to a daycare child's birthday either and I am thankful for that as I would not want to mix business with friendship! I also find parents don't talk much about a child's birthday usually...probably because they also find it a bit akward as they don't know whether they are supposed to invite me or not...so they just don't talk about it lest it make things more awkward...LOL

[Momof4]

I've never been invited to a daycare child's birthday either and wouldn't want to go. I mean, I adore these little guys all week long but my weekends are mine! I accept babies of all ages and find that even at 9 months of age they can usually crawl, play and interact with others just fine. Are you sure there isn't a physical problem with the child, what you describe is kind of frightening. Also, I would never insist on immunization, that's a very personal family decision and I don't have a right to interfere, but I do have a right to know whether a child is vaxed or not.