No reply after termination notice?

[Crys]

Has anybody ever had a parent make no reply at all after a termination notice? I gave notice on Tuesday to a mother who had (for the 2nd time) dosed and dashed on me - sent her daughter with a fever/vomiting virus after dosing with advil.. after having done it just a month ago.. Anyways.. not to dwell on that.
I agonized and worried and then gave notice via e-mail. I know e-mail is not the best way of communicating with most folks, but with this parent it really is - that and texting. They do not have a home phone, and they did not pick up the daughter, it was a grandmother. I've been waiting to type up an official termination notice as I wanted to include end-date (my contract states I have to give 2 weeks notice, although hubby pointed out she already violated the contract making it void.. not sure?). Anyways - I know she always gets her texts, so I texted her this morning to say that I just wanted to check in to make sure she has gotten my e-mails and asking if she wants to discuss to please contact me.
So I guess the next steps are calling the parents or dropping by their house?
I'm really worried that they are ignoring me and might just send her on Monday without a reply. I have to get closure on this - to make sure she acknowledges me. The other thing that could happen is she doesn't show on Monday and doesn't acknowledge either. so in that case I would just pack up dcg belongings from her cubby and drive them to her house? She also owes me 4 weeks pay! It's really not that much cash as it's only 1 day a week... but.. awkward!

Just looking for opinions - would you track her down or would you leave it be until next week and see what happens?

[dodge__driver11]

I reserve the right to immed. term without notice when policies are violated, was this an immed. term? When do you want her last day to be? Do you not want her dropped off on Monday?

[gramma]

I would assume that she has got your emails and texts if there has never been an issue with her receiving anything from you before. She's mad so she's going to let you sit and wonder and if she cant find someone for Monday she'll claim she didnt get the email. As for your pay, I would have waited to be paid before giving notice, you can likely say goodbye to whatever she owes you. I would never deliver anyone's belongings to them especially if they were ignoring me. If you really need to have acknowledgement of your email I would call her at work. I'm guessing that you didnt give notice which has likely really ticked her off. If you dont mind confrontation and are prepared to turn her away on monday I would leave it but if you dont want to deal with that I would make one more call but I certainly wouldnt waste my time tracking her down.

[Crys]

I never told her that she couldn't come on Monday, I'm not so much worried about the child coming, as I am about either the awkwardness if she acts like nothing happened, or the confrontation of it if she doesn't acknowledge beforehand. I am willing to walk away from the amount owing, it's only 4 days (after school rate at that) and it's not worth the fight if it comes to that. I just want it to be over. I had this one family rack up their costs into the hundreds before getting paid. This situation is my fault because I had let them away with too much for too long... and the mom thinks I'm a friend because I do the extras like drive her daughter to Brownies etc.. *I do that for the girl, and because she is friends with my daughter, which makes this situation extra awkward.* I wish I had never agreed to take her on, and as the situation got worse and worse, I let it continue because I saw the end coming naturally without confrontation (the summer is approaching and I do not have the space for days for her, and the Fall is already prebooked with day kids so we had an understanding that end-June was it) BUT it has come to the point where I cannot allow her to remain.
I have 5 other families (inc. my own) to worry about and it's not fair to them if I allow her to put their health at risk (inc. my own!) deliberately and without care. For all of the other violations it has just been an inconvenience/disrespect thing, but this crosses the line for me, it's a dealbreaker to send me the girl with a virus and with using advil to mask the fever. Since the EXACT same thing happened just before Easter, I hashed it out with her then, told her exactly how I felt about it, how it was unacceptable and that next time I couldn't let it go.. she apologized and promised to never do it again... then bam.. Monday after school dkg comes to me, falls asleep, complains of not feeling well, take temp - moderate fever, tells me she was vomiting the day before and it was an hour before somebody (grandma) came to pick up, and absolutely nothing from her since. nothing. I waited to cool down on Monday evening then I e-mailed with just the facts, the details of how things went down and another reminder of my sick policy (again), with a note that we would get into the 'moving forward' aspect the next day.
On Tuesday I made the decision that no matter how awkward it will be for us in the future (because they live close by, they are friends with other families in my daycare and the girls are in school together go to brownies together etc..) I simply cannot allow her to remain, all trust is gone and I feel I can't deal with that family any longer. So on Tuesday I sent her another e-mail but I found a way to be 'nice' about it - I told them that I felt I could no longer meet their needs - because I am not able to take in children who are ill (and reminded her of the last instance and our conversation as well written back up) and that I think everybody included would be more comfortable with a change in care.. I do wonder now if I was too easy in my wording - although my last line was that I wished to make it as smooth and happy transition for the girl as possible... which to me is clear.. (and I had previously told her if it happened again I would have no choice)

In any event, I just want it to be over, and if that means she wants the 2 weeks I'm okay with it... but really she broke the contract so I'm thinking it's void anyways? I just want her to respond so I know what she is expecting, and if/when she plans to pay me, wants her daughter's things back etc.. This is my first termination.. I do plan to provide her with a written formal letter, but just wanted it to include the details of the 'breakup' such as end-date, amounts owing (if she doesn't pay up) etc.

Thanks for your insight :)

[Crys]

Just to update - she just sent me a text saying that her e-mail is working fine. That's it.
So I guess I'll see where that goes... I'm going to try and not worry about it. I've done all that I can for that family - much more than I am professionally obligated to, and even more than a friend is obligated to.. so at this point, while I feel horrible for the situation it leaves them in, it's a direct result of their poor choices (and perhaps my poor judgement in not terminating earlier). Thanks for the feedback!

[mimi]

You are being punished so she is being curt and immature by not acknowledging your term notice. Do not feel bad about doing what is for the good of your daycare. As you said, the termination is a direct result of THEIR poor choices, so let THEM suffer the consequences not YOU. Forget about them, and yes your hubby is right, they did void the contract. Deep breath and have a wonderful Mothers Day.:)

[apples and bananas]

I would take the "my email is working fine" as a response right there. What more are you looking for?

What arrangements have you made to clear up her payments? Did you give her a day and time or a way to drop off payment?

Did you give her a way of picking up her daughters things?

Maybe a follow up email giving proper direction ?

When I terminate I do it after all payments have been made.

I highly doubt you'll ever see this client or her money again. And the text was sent to get you off of her back I'm sure.

[Crys]

She *just* e-mailed me to say that she had been unsure of how to respond. She told me she is sorry that she upset the balance and she will figure out a new plan for care.
I told her that she can have the 2 weeks, and she is aware of what she owes, based on her reply I am hoping we can move forward in a way that is best for everybody, but mostly for her daughter, since she is friends with my little girl, it makes it hard if she just gets cut-off... I truly want what is best for her but I simply can't be her caregiver any longer.

This is horrible, I love love love my job, but I hate the business end of it!

[Crys]

I guess it's the best possible outcome - even if it tugs the heart strings. I won't regret the decision to terminate, I feel pretty awful still but it was a risk I took by signing her on in the first place. Of course you grow to love the kids after 2 years.. I am hoping it works out for them that they find somebody else that is willing to work with their style - I don't work well with them and I think by putting the stress on it being me and my inability to continue care it helps salvage things a bit - I understand that it could mean the end of the relationship of course, but if they are able to keep it together on their end by not being nasty or angry - I can certainly put on my best face too. It's very tough to walk that line of being professional, doing what is best for yourself and your own family as well as trying to accomodate others. I can SO see how burn-out happens, and am understanding more every day about some other home daycare rules and such that I never thought I would be interested in! Bottom line - I have policies for a reason, and no matter what personal feelings come into play - that is why we have contracts, we figure out what is important to us and what we can accept and not accept.. it feels like a breakup and it is difficult though :( But I still know it was the best decision!

[Momof4]

It's really difficult but we have to separate our hearts from our business. It's a really important lesson to learn and for us softies it takes a while, but do it, take care of YOU. Don't worry about everybody else.

That being said, I'm extremely fair with my clients but I have to show the parents that we have a business arrangement and I give 100% while I'm working but no extras. I give the children all my nurturing, caring, teaching, hugs, kisses but they are not my children. They go home at the end of the day to their parents. I was feeling the burnout a few years ago but I learned how to separate my business from my LIFE.

[Crys]

Thank you so much - that was exactly what I needed to hear (read) right now. Sometimes the very qualities that make us good caregivers are the ones that make the business end harder. I've come a long way over the years - from starting without a contract now to my first termination. I can't imagine it's the kind of thing that ever gets easier to do - but I am now wanting to move forward and focus on the other families because they are awesome and deserve my best (which includes removing the other family from care)
Thanks :)

[Momof4]

You are so welcome Crys. I terminated a couple families in my first year and learned how to really only accept fantastic families into care after that. But after trying and trying to get through to a family for a year and a half I had to terminate them in Feb. or lose my mind. It was absolutely traumatic for me but also for the family because they had not heard me for the past year and a half, damn! Sometimes we really have to take care of ourselves.

[Crys]

I just wanted to update everybody.
This has resolved in the best possible way. She sent me an e-mail letting me know that she had gotten the message and apologizing for upsetting the balance of my daycare and that she understood. I saw her at our kids school and she spoke pleasantly to me (hey, how are ya?) and she found alternative care somehow. She does still owe me money, but she has always been one to pay late.. and I still have the girls belongings, but it's not that big of a deal. I'm willing to walk away from the money if it means ending this cordially. I am SO relieved. I understand that privately she may hate me, but I think it's more of a case of feeling disappointed and somewhat embarrassed. In any event, the most important thing is that the little girl doesn't seem to have been brought into it - she is still friendly with my daughter. So things could have been so much worse. I am very happy I decided to go ahead as now I feel just this huge sense of relief. It's over, it turned out to be not so terrible and I can now devote all of my time and energy to my other families and my own.
Thanks for all of the advice :)

[Momof4]

Whew, so glad you can put this behind you now. Just take everything that happens as a learning experience. I know I do! I learn something new pretty much every day in this business from all of you.