What kind of person are you?

[torontokids]

We all know it takes a certain kind of person to do this job (and do it well). It has got me thinking about what kind of people are we? Is a certain personality drawn to running a home daycare or does owning a home daycare create a certain person?

We all know the basics, must like kids, patience, kind but what about looking deeper then that? I had a mom ask me how I do it every day and said "you must be exhausted at the end of the day." I thought about it and realized that I am but I am not. I am someone who has always found myself "energized" by children. I have always been drawn to kids and most comfortable interacting with them. She said I am an extrovert then (definition is becomes energized in interactions with people) but in fact I am an introvert (definition is to become drained or depleted by interactions with people) and I told her that I only find adults draining. Are others like me?

When I went back to work after my first baby (pregnant already with #2) I was talking about not coming back after the baby with my coworkers and all these women said they "needed more then being a mom " which I responded with "I am the one getting more with staying home." I have wanted to be a mom since I can remember and although I had a satisfying career, it never defined me. I felt when I became a mom that this did define me in a way I was OK with and am actually very happy about.

I know we have former teachers, professors, social workers, receptionists, office managers etc in our group. Do we share common traits outside of the obvious?

[dodge__driver11]

I am at my core a person who wants to do her best at everything she does. I am someone who takes child care and the things that go along with it very seriously..... I am very no nonsense; but at the same time I can be very sensitive, and emo..lol.

My home is very organized, and tidy as best as it can be and I enjoy planing and implementing too :)

[Dreamalittledream]

I am someone who has always found myself "energized" by children. I have always been drawn to kids and most comfortable interacting with them.
I can so identify with your thoughts above; well before I had my own children I too was drawn to children, and they to me. My mom has the same trait. She somehow is able to be the one person that the shyest child will go to. We are always the one playing with the children at family gatherings etc. So, when we had our last I really wanted to be home with him and not miss that time. After about 25 years in management I put my notice in and we found a new home in a neighborhood very eager for childcare. I never dreamed how my acquired career skills would serve me well in this new undertaking. I don't regret one moment now; all of those nights working late, the weekends...my poor family. Now, it's summer, Christmas, March Break off with my teacher husband and my children & to me, that is what life is all about, not a fancy promotion or paycheck.

[zoomama]

as a single mom with one adopted son, i wanted to be the one to raise him, not send him off to daycare so someone else could spend most of his waking hours with him. i've always loved children, and started babysitting my younger siblings at a young age. from there i went on to babysitting other ppl's children, and somehow, i've spent much of my working years in child-related fields. being an organized and efficient person has certainly helped with maintaining a sane, enjoyable environment in my home/dayhome. when i read other threads on various topics, i am struck with how much i relate to the way of thinking of so many other providers. i am strict, the rules are the rules, but am also very affectionate and loving with the children. they respect my rules and the way things are done, and i know they love me back. a person that does this career, and enjoys it, is probably usually highly organized, has a genuine love for young children, can be strict but silly too, does not feel that spending time with very young children "dumbs you down" (i've heard that and i strongly disagree!!), is somewhat of a natural "teacher", and has reasonably good social skills (a must for dealing with parents!).
that's IMO :)

[Momof4]

My 4 children always had about 4 friends each in the house and I always had a flock of children around me so taking care of 4 or 5 children in the daycare is the norm for me I suppose. I'm a natural nurturer & teacher, well organized, my home is clean and safe for the children and I don't mind sharing it with them since I don't have a dedicated daycare space. Sometimes I wonder why I don't crave a perfect house, but make no mistake, Friday afternoons I'm taking my house back as fast as I can!

I worked outside the home all my life and this is the first time I've ever been self-employed. I wish I had done it when my children were young and I think you are all very clever women to choose this profession to spend time with your children. But back in my day it was babysitters all the way, only centres had programs and great care for children.

Now we are professionals and I'm very proud to offer a great program and to be able to choose the families I work with and to enforce my very fair contract policies. All my life I worked with adults who exhausted and frustrated me and bosses who weren't fair or doing a good job. Now, I'm investing in me. But I'm also making an investment in the children who are with me for a few years before moving on in life. I know I'm doing a great job because they all come back to visit and they are getting so tall! But I'm part of the reason they all have great manners, know how to have lots of fun and are doing well in school.

[mimi]

I am the mother of one fantastic 18 yr old daughter. I wanted more children but I had to give the boot to my cheating husband when she had just turned one. Thought at the time it was a tragic, but it turns out my daughter and I were so much better with out him. After 11 years happily on our own I met a great man who is the polar opposite of my daughters father. We have been married almost 5 years.
I decided to become self employed and have a daycare because I love, love kids and especially love giving them a secure, fun environment in which to thrive. I am tough with the rules, but like another poster said, my dckids know I adore them. Perhaps they are the surrogates for the ones I didn't get to have.
I also wanted to be self employed because I was really tired of working for people who were poor managers. I have a strong sense of justice and fair mindedness, and to see colleagues kiss butt and get promotions they didn't earn and see good people not appreciated got really old after awhile. I don't suffer fools well.
I did do my dream job for a few years as a flight attendant. This was a tough job then because we actually gave you full service. LOL
Anyway, I realized I am fortunate to be working at my second dream job. I love being my own boss (and am often toughest on myself) and being around great little people who teach me something new about myself or them most days. I am a better person, mom, friend and wife for working in this profession which I am so passsionately proud of. Just don't call me a babysitter or suffer the wrath!!!!!:woot::lau gh:

[torontokids]

I really identify with a lot of what is here. I am also super organized, efficient and a bit of a perfectionist. I am creative, energetic and although I can be anal about my own house (this I have even relaxed on once I got married, had kids), I am pretty laid back about the daycare space and encourage the kids to be kids and get dirty/have fun. I have fun with them but I am firm about the rules. My dckids understand that I care for them and feel secure and trust me. I have one family in particular where the children are in constant flux and the adults in their lives give them too much decision making power/choice. This child is thriving with me because he knows my expectations and he sees an adult in charge so he feels safe.

[dodge__driver11]

Yes exactly torontokids :)

[mlv]

I to am an introvert and was always comfortable interacting with children. I noticed that some of you talked about being organized. That is something I can relate to.
I have spent most of my life with children I come from a large family and became an aunt at age 13. I babysit all through my teenage years. After high school I went to college and got a diploma in Early childhood education. I heaved worked in the child care field for 10 years. It wasn't until after my second child that I decided to do it in my home. For me it made was a no brainier either go back to work in a preschool and pay almost all my paycheck for someone else to raise my 2 children or stay home and run my own day care and raise my own children while doing it.

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

I really related to some of Mimi's comments. While I love kids - I have a small herd of my own LOL - and I find it very rewarding to work with them and celebrate all of their acheivements, what I like the best about this job is my boss. =) For many years when I was "green and keen" I tried to climb the corporate ladder, and I witnessed (and experienced) a lot of what I call "hen house politics" - backstabbing, heinous managers, people being given flak for reasonable requests. (like time off for dental appointments or family commitments) Over 15 years and several organizations I never once found a place that wanted to invest in it's employees, and it seemed like toxic work environments were everywhere. I love the fact that the biggest stress I now have to deal with is the fact that if I don't work, I don't get paid - no change from any of my previous positions. It has also been very comforting to know that I am in charge of my job security. Yes, times may become more difficult and it may take longer to find clients to fill spaces, but no one will ever dangle the threat of "we need to cut hours" over my head as long as I run my own business. I decide how much work I want to take on, and I can control what my paycheque will look like - not some power tripping numb nut in HR. =) It has been very emotionally liberating to no longer have to suffer fools and their silliness. What peace !

[playfelt]

Closing in on about 28 years in daycare and of course have seen caregivers come and go about as often as the kids come and go in care. Yes it does take a certain kind of person to do this job. You have to have a love and compassion for kids and a desire to nurture them towards being productive adults but at the same time you have to be able to remember your place and purpose and not let it get lost in being a mother to the children. The providers that have a hard time in care are the ones that see themselves as making up for a parent's lack of parenting, of thinking they have to do it all to impress others - sort of like they never left the corporate world. It becomes more about the caregiver and her image to others and then she becomes devastated when the world doesn't really care. Many overdue everything from meals to crafts to their daycare setup to their training trying to reach perfection and burn themselves out mentally and physically because they can not find the proper life balance. At the same time you can not do daycare if you see it "just as a job" because it isn't the type of job you can separate yourself from - especially if you are also a mother as days and evenings and weekends start to blend together.

For sure organization is one of the key skill traits for a provider. It takes a lot of thinking and planning and execution to keep 5 plus kids happy, healthy, and content for 10 hours a day in a home that was meant to serve a different purpose than a made for daycare centre. It means knowing when to ignore the crumbs on the floor and when to insist the shoes be lined up in pairs for quick access. Being able to see the big picture and not just the petty squabbles of the day is another skill - 2 year olds are just like that and some day eventually they will grow out of that annoying trait. Being an organized daycare provider also means knowing you can't be the saviour/martyr of the daycare world and acting accordingly.

As much as I have seen some try out daycare going into it with rose coloured glasses as they say - most coming off their maternity leave thinking it will be a wonderful compromise - paid to spend more time with their own chid I also applaud those that realize they made a mistake and stop doing daycare rather than continue and make everyone miserable or do irreparable damage to the mentality of those they have in care by making them feel they are being a burden to be cared for.

[KellyP]

I am going to be completely truthful. I am NOT your stereotypical child care provider. I NEVER intended to go into this field of work. I never even wanted to have children of my own.

That said, I DO have children of my own and love them immensely. I am a child care provider because I couldn't imagine leaving my children in the care of someone else.

However, that doesn't mean I love/like all children. I don't.

As a matter of fact, I really don't even like kids (in general). That doesn't in ANY way mean I can not provide care for them. I just don't get all gushy and sentimental about it. I am college educated and hold a degree in early childhood with a minor in psychology.

I FULLY understand child development, both cognitively and physically. I can meet the needs of the children in my care without having a deep emotional connection with them. I provide for all of their needs during the day and when they go home at night, I don't think about them again until the next work day. I don't get upset or sad when they age out of my program and go to preschool or Kindergarten. I don't feel badly when they leave. It's just one continuous cycle of providing care and education to a group of children.

I think sometimes being this way, is what makes it easy to not get sucked into the drama and emotional blackmail that parents sometimes bring to this job. I am able to keep my personal life separate from my business life and have no problems enforcing rules and policies.

I am the oldest of daughter of 7 children and am by nature a caregiver but not a nurturer. (hope that makes sense). I am skilled in multi-tasking and have superior organizational skills. I have a very even temperament and approach things in a very analytical way verses only viewing things in an emotional way. I am rarely in a bad mood and it takes ALOT to get me angry, upset or off kilter.

I am a Type A personality and constantly on the go. I think that helps in this job as I require very little down time and am rarely, (if ever) burdened by the emotional aspects of this job.

Does that make me a bad caregiver? I don't think so. I think it helps me be a good caregiver and as of yet, have had no complaints from any of my clients.

[mimi]

KellyP, with your credentials and matter of fact outlook to childcare, I think you might be a better provider than some whom might be more emotionally invested in their business. I am not saying this to start a debate as we all bring different attitudes and skills to the daycare table and we all have talents in different areas which enhance our business which is why alot of us has longevity and run on referrals only.
I used to be more emotional in my business, but now have learned so much from experience and listening to other providers experiences and reading and participating in this forum that I rule much more with my head than my heart.
You sound KellyP like you would be good at alot of different careers given your personality traits.:)

[Skysue]

I myself never ever thought I would or could do daycare not in a million years!

I walked out of a job I hated that took me away from my DD for 1.5 years. I worked 50-60 hours a week and never looked back.

It was my DD's daycare provider who encouraged me to do it. Being a libra I never just jump into any decision but I made a space, contract and put up an ad and started my journey.

I used to be that daycare Mom who made all her babies food and just had a hard time trusting. I think wearing that hat gave me a great advantage in understanding my parents fears.

This business has really showed the perfectionist in me it's ok to make a mess and it's ok to eat a sugary treat once and a while, life still goes on.

I have learned I love being my own boss and that I am truly making a difference even if the rest of the world just sees me as a babysitter.

I have tried to be the perfect provider that tries to impress everyone but burn out came and I had to realize its ok if we don't do craft everyday. I was so burnt out and I had to learn a balance as at the end of the day my family and me will always come 1st.

Yes my DD needs to be 2nd sometimes but she is always 1st after my daycare day ends. Some days I even need to shut the door to spend time with her and do clean up duty at 11pm but she is worth it!

I love my daycare kids but I can separate from work and family time. I still talk about my day as its part of who I am and I proud of my job!

[Judy Trickett]

We all know the basics, must like kids, patience, kind but what about looking deeper then that?

I don't even think you have to like kids to do this job well. I am sure there will be plenty of those who disagree. But I can tell you that I am the type of person who has always excelled at ANY job I have ever done. I take great pride in my work. I believe there is NO sense doing anything unless you do it well and to the very best of your abilities and belief system.

I don't think you have to love or even like kids to do this job well. Sorry, but it's the truth. I know many other professions and jobs where you can still do a great job but not like the product or the people you serve. I think in ANY job 90% of it comes down to work ethic and pride in doing a great job.

I do this job for MY KIDS. Plain and simple. This job works for me and MY family. And I have no qualms admitting that. I think any mother who works outside the home would also admit, if she were truthful, that the only reason she works is because it works for HER family (in that it puts a roof over their heads and food on the table). So, just like anyone who has their motives for working I chose daycare because it works for MY family. And at the end of the day that is all that really matters.

[sunnydays]

I tend to agree with Judy. I am like she described. I have always been very driven to do my best in every job I've ever done...from working in a fast food restaurant as a teenager to teaching adults and now daycare. I like kids, but I am not one to be fawning over other people's babies or kids generally. I genuinely like the kids in my care and I do bond with them although I try to keep a bit of detachment as I know they can disappear from my life at any time. I am very organized, but I have to work at it...it is something I do because it is necessary, not really because I am an OCD kind of super organized person by nature. In fact, my daycare space is way more organized than other parts of my house...LOL. I strive to be the best I can be in whatever I do...but I am aware that there is a line past which burn-out will occur and I try to stay behind the line as it won't serve anyone if I am burnt out. I am the type of person who is always striving to do things better, learn more, find new ways of doing things, organizing things, etc to make my daycare better. I take a lot of workshops because I want to learn more and expand my knowledge and skills. As Judy said, I take great pride in my daycare and it make me feel good about myself when I do interesting and fun activities with the kids...it is not about impressing the parents so much as it is feeling good about what I am doing, seeing the kids growing and learning, and also keeping my own mind active so that I don't become bored. I am a caring and nurturing person by nature, but I have learned and am still learning not to let people walk on me.

[torontokids]

It's funny, KellyP's post really got me thinking and I realized that I think I am mixing up being really good with kids and having kids be drawn to me to actually liking them. I realized the more I do his job that although I enjoy my days and like the kids I have, I don't think about them outside of closing time (unless I am making a business decision about terminating them etc) or I have some prep I couldn't do during the day. I said goodbye to my first child and it was more of a push out the door, no tears shed and wrote a termination letter on Fri for another and I am more focused on what the lost income would mean rather then the kid leaving.

My training is in social work and my colleagues never understood how I said I didn't like people. Heh heh, they thought maybe I made the wrong career choice. The thing is that I had the best client satisfaction rate and I continually saw my peers all falling down around me from burn out.

[dodge__driver11]

I have to say, to expand about my post...in the beginning I got attached to kids, and tried to "love them." I found that this was utterly impossible to do, and a horrible horrible idea....

Now like any other job I just do it, and do my best at all times at it....Staying organized, keeping my head on straight, and keeping the kids safe and cared for

[playfelt]

A lot of moms start daycare first and foremost to stay home with their own children but then get mixed up in that as others are saying it is "just a job". They come to think that they are saving all of the kids they take in from parents who work and abandon their children to daycare and that it is their job to make up for all this and as a result end up not making anyone happy- child, parent or caregiver. It really is important to take time to think about our motives for doing what we do.

[sunnydays]

So true PLayfelt! My motive it very simple: to make money while being home for my kids. I do feel I make a positive impact on the kids lives in the work that I do, but I know that I cannot save them from their parents or anything else outside of my daycare. When and if parents lack of parenting etc causes to much stress on the child and on me by consequence, I know I must terminate them and move on...I cannot fix the situation for the child, but I can fix it for myself and my kids by removing the problem.

[JennJubie]

Yep. I'm with KellyP and Judy. I'm doing this because this is what works best for my family. I do like children, but I don't get upset when it's time for them to leave my care. When they go home, I don't think about them until it's time to resume the next day. I don't get teary, or overly emotional about the daycare kids. Like the other ladies said, I can't fix their parent's mistakes, and I won't knock myself out trying to, either. If it isn't working, it's terminate and move on. I take great pride in my work, (in any work I do!), and I know that I am providing very good care for the kids.

[KellyP]

I think taking a non-emotional standpoint in this business helps the kids too. I think the expectations for behavior are a lot better as the kids KNOW they can't or don't make me feel bad for having to put them in time out or enforce a consequence.

I mean we all know that one of (if not THE) biggest reason parents have trouble with consequences and follow through when disciplining their children is because they can't stand hearing them cry or feel badly when the kids feel bad.

I don't have that issue so the kids can't use it here.

I don't feel badly when little Timmy chucked a block across the room and bruised little Suzy's eye and now Timmy is crying because he can't play blocks anymore. I DO feel bad that Suzy got hurt (I AM still human) but I don't make a huge fuss about it either. I do what needs to get done and don't let any big ol' alligator tears or puppy dog eyes sway me into not following through with consequences for Timmy.

I think that is the very reason I DO have really well behaved daycare kids.

I'm not saying it isn't possible to have good behaved children in a different setting, I'm just saying that is a positive in how I personally do things.

[Judy Trickett]

I said goodbye to my first child and it was more of a push out the door, no tears shed and wrote a termination letter on Fri for another and I am more focused on what the lost income would mean rather then the kid leaving.



I have had almost 50 kids through my care now. I have never, ever, shed a single tear for any of them leaving. That doesn't make me a bad, uncaring person - it makes me realistic and very good at making business decisions. When a kid leaves I might not cry over them but I DO know, deep down, that I made a difference and they were likely better off in my care than in the care of some other providers I know. ;)