How much do you love your dc kids?

[Big Hearts]

I was wondering how much love you show your dc kids? ie hugs, kisses things like that. I have one mom pull out of my daycare because I didn't "lover her kid!" When it comes to my dc I don't coddle my kids. If they cry I don't run to them unless someone really gets hurt, but if it because they don't want to sleep or someone took their toy. I just let them work it out them self. I am the same with my own kids. If they vry for attention or because the don't get their way I wont "love them". I think good behavior will get good attention. what do you think?

[Judy Trickett]

I don't love my dckids at all. These are not my kids - they are my clients. Do people think school teachers LOVE the kids in their class? Do parents think soccer coaches LOVE the kids on the team? My guess is they do NOT assume their child is loved by these people so why are we expected to be on a different scale of expectation? I'm sorry, but it is a parent's job to LOVE their kids. I take VERY good care of the dckids but I do not love them. I also find it a huge double standard that parents expect us to LOVE their kid but feel they can pull the kid from this "loving" care whenever it suits them. How's that for a double standard?

I also do not dote attention on kids just because. If a kid is hurt or needs a hug then I give it. But I don't sit around hugging and kissing dckids all day.

[BlueRose]

When it comes to my dc I don't coddle my kids. If they cry I don't run to them unless someone really gets hurt, but if it because they don't want to sleep or someone took their toy. I just let them work it out them self.
I am the same way. They are my clients NOT my kids. I feel that I would be disrespecting my children if I "loved" the daycare kids. I do like the kids in my care, but no hugs or kisses from me, those are for my kids.

If a parent wants someone to love their kids then maybe they should take the time to do it. JMO

[KellyP]

This is kind of like when providers say they love their daycare kids like their own. :rolleyes:

I love my own kids enough to make sacrifices so I can spend all day every day with them and not put them into daycare for someone else to love and care for.

I certainly am not going to love a daycare kid like my own when their own parent isn't doing that.

I provide the necessary safe, supervised engaging environment.

The "loving" is up to the parent.

[Crayola kiddies]

I too give out a hug when hurt but I don't love my daycare kids.... Not my job !

[crafty]

Yeah I do feel love my DCK's not like my own of course but I am not hugging and kissing them all the time either. I'm just not like that. I will tend to them when they need, I will hug them and I will kiss them or the boo boo. During story time one will sit on my lap or whatever. However, I do not answer every little cry either ... From what I read we are all very different but not better or worse but parents will choose who they think fits best. However pulling out because they felt you did not ''love'' the child seems a bit ridiculous to me.

[mamabear]

I agree, I love my own kids but not the dckids. I'm happy to give a hug but no love.

[Momof4]

I've had people during interviews say that they are looking for a provider who will love their child like their own. I say that I give 100% to all the children during daycare hours, I bond with them, get to know their personalities and we have lots of hugs and affection for each other. I don't say what I'm really thinking. I love my own 4 children, I love my grandchildren but I do not feel that kind of love for my daycare kids and I don't understand why anyone would ask that of me. I wouldn't want somebody else to tell me they love my child like their own. I'm glad I'm not alone!

At the end of the day these children go home to the parents who love them but they have been well nourished, well cared for and kept safe and clean and had lots of fun thanks to me. It's my job.

[sunnydays]

I don't "love" them like my own kids. I am fond of them, have bonded with each one and I take very good care of them. However, I do try to give them physical affection throughout each day...I think hugs and cuddles are important for young kids. I don't give this attention when they are behaving badly, but I do try to make sure I spend time giving each one some attention in this way. If a provider said she does not hug the kids, as a parent, I would not place my child in her care. I do not expect anyone to love my kids like their own, but I think physical affection is necessary for kids to develop.

[Wonderwiper]

I don't love any kids other than my own! I'll give hugs and cuddles as needed and lots of high 5's ha ha!

[SongSparrow]

I was actually thinking about this yesterday and am glad to see this thread here today! I am not overly affectionate with my DC kids...if one of them comes to me for a hug then of course I give it, and when they are hurt or scared I comfort them right away, but that's about it. I tend to leave it up to the kid how close they like to get and find that it varies a lot. But there certainly are parents out there who think we should be hugging and kissing these kids all the time and that just doesn't come naturally to me.

[treeholm]

I agree with the others. I love my own children, and I love my grandchildren. I like my daycare children just fine. They are adorable. But love them like my own? Are you kidding? Their parents can pull them from my care at any time, and if I got attached to them, that would be sad. If any of these children left, I'd probably wonder how they were doing, and would be delighted if the parent sent an update once in a while, but I wouldn't cry or miss them. I'm sure if I ran into them in public we'd have a big hug and hello, but in the end, they are my clients. My love is reserved for my children and grandchildren.

[playfelt]

A lot of parents these days equate love with stuff so they show love to their kids by buying them gifts or making their favourite lunch more so than in hugs and kisses which is sad. Compared to parents though we do come across as cold and distanced with the children. That doesn't mean as others have said that we don't know when a hug or cuddle or soothing words is necessary it is just that we reserve them for when needed and keep our professional distance otherwise. We do walk that fine line of sexual accusations should we be forcing the kids to hug us or giving them kisses or raspberries on their tummy. That is not our place. If I bump into a daycare family in the community almost certainly the kids run up and give me a hug. I have one now that hugs me and says bye every night and I graciously accept it but I don't demand it and truly I am jut as happy to see them all go hugs or waves or nothing.

[sunnydays]

That's a good point too Playfelt. I don't kiss my dck's or give raspberries, etc...although I will kiss a bo-bo on the finger etc...but I do give lots of hugs and cuddles. I would never force a child to cuddle or hug though. I will scoop them up and tickle or snuggle, but not if they are resisting in any way.

[zoomama]

I am the same way. They are my clients NOT my kids. I feel that I would be disrespecting my children if I "loved" the daycare kids. I do like the kids in my care, but no hugs or kisses from me, those are for my kids.

If a parent wants someone to love their kids then maybe they should take the time to do it. JMO

i definitely don't love the dck's like i love my own son. i don't think that's even humanly possible. it's a totally different relationship. i don't cry when they leave my care. i don't coddle whining or wimpy behavior. i don't have patience for that kind of stuff. i am strict with the rules and would sometimes look downright "mean" to a parent who thinks you should never lay down the law.

that having been said, i'm baffled that it would be considered "disrespecting your own children" to be loving, warm, and showing physical affection to the dcks. i hold them, cuddle them, kiss them, and tell them i love them. i feel children deserve that kind of care, and for me personally, it's not hard to give. i think it benefits my son to see that i have enough love to go around, and that i don't love him less while i love others, too.