My Grandpa Died - Parents React

[Sandbox Sally]

I got a call this am that my grandpa had a stroke, and he has died. I am an only child, and I have to go to my mom. She lives three provinces over. I am finishing out today, but I will have to take Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off this week. I haven't taken a day off since Christmas.

I called my daycare families to let them know what was going on. Two of four families were kind, said they were sorry, and that of course they understood.

One mom sighed and told me how inconvenient it was for her. I apologized, and all she said was, "yep", and hung up on me.

A daycare dad said that he guessed he'd try to figure something out, but sounded really irritated and was quite short with me.

I am very clear that I don't offer backup care before families sign on here. What am I supposed to do about it? I am very disappointed by these reactions. Don't give condolences for my loss or anything. :unsure: I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I am not CHOOSING for my grandfather to die.

[mamabear]

I'm so sorry for your loss :crying:

Try not to feel bad about your dcfamilies. You don't have to do anything about it. Sure, it might be hard for them to find back up care but shit happens. Of course you didnt plan for your grampa to die. They should be ashamed of themselves. Take the days you need to be there for your mom and don't give those asshats another thought.

[JennJubie]

My condolences.

As for the families that were not understanding, don't worry about them. That is shameful of them to treat your loss as their inconvenience.

[playfelt]

Sorry for your loss. Do not give your daycare parents another thought. Think only about your mom and your visit with her.

[gramma]

so sorry for your loss. go look after your mom and yourself and deal with your inconsiderate clients later.

[Momof4]

Oh, I'm so sorry you lost your Grandpa. Don't worry about a thing except taking care of yourself, your Mom and your family. I hope those dcparents were just very busy at work and will apologize for their rude insensitive behaviour and show their caring and appreciation of you tonight at dropoff.

[PattyCake]

My sincerest condolences for your loss. Times like these you need to remember that it's especially okay to put you and your family first above all else! Hugs.

[cfred]

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandpa. That's terrible news :(

I'm appalled that those parents behaved that way when you told them. Of course you're going to be by your mother's side! That shouldn't even be a question in their minds. Go and be with her and let the families sort out their situations. Goodness knows they'd not think twice about taking off for a lot less than a death in the family.

Ass hats was perfect terminology.

[mimi]

Sandbox Sally, please accept my deepest sympathys. During this emotional and sad time it is terrible that some of your daycare families are so self absorbed. It is a big indication of how they must be in other aspects of their lives. Sad.
They forget that they have a human being with a life beyond daycare looking after their children.

Please take care of yourself and your Mom and give no thought to the thoughtless families.:flower:

[Artsand crafts]

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of your self. Your priority now is your family.

[Sandbox Sally]

Oh, I'm so sorry! Like mamabear said, how they deal with finding back up care is not your concern, so don't even think about it.

In the future you might consider insisting that parents have an emergency back-up plan- I do, and I never feel bad about taking a day off for doctor's appointments, illness, etc.

It's right in the contract that they all sign - "please understand that you must have back up care in case of emergency or illness on my part. It does happen, and I suggest that every family be prepared"

[SecondAve]

Safe travels and many prayers to you and your family.

[sunnydays]

So sorry for the loss of your grandpa. I went through the same thing right before Christmas when my grandma died. I also had to travel across the country to be with my mom and the rest of the family. To top it off, I came down with a nasty stomach bug on the night after my grandma went into the hospital (maybe it was stress), so I had to close the next day and then ended up having to take an entire week off in total in addition to the days I had already planned to be closed around Christmas. I was worried about my dc families, but they were all really understanding and I knew it was most important to be with family. I am so sorry your dc families have been so rude. It is their problem not yours. If they were in your place, they would not sacrifice their own family to make things convenient for their daycare families. Try not to think about them and if they leave over this, then good riddance to them! Take care of yourself! Hugs!

[mamabearto3]

i am sorry about your loss :( dont over think their reactions you have better things to worry about like your mom

[monkeymama]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am seriously speechless at the thoughtless, rude and selfish reaction from your daycare parents...I have to have minor surgery next week and am taking 2 days off...all but 1 family was completely understanding...I cant believe some people have no empathy!

[Sandbox Sally]

Thanks everyone.

[godsgirl]

I am so sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad for taking the time off and for their poor reactions. If it was their family they would've done the same thing. Sending hugs your way

[zoomama]

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and that you're having such a heartless reaction from some of the families. i hate to say this, but some people are utterly selfish and have thought ONLY for themselves. i am learning that the hard way today with one of my long-time families as well. it's hurtful, and it's hard not to take these things personally, but it's just the way it is. don't let them make what's already hard any harder. sometimes the people who want us to be the softest most caring people in the world force us to harden our hearts and be tough.