Why are people not upfront about their daycare needs

[gramma]

I had a call from someone yesterday looking for care end of June. I spoke with her about what she needed etc and we set an appt. for monday night. I had decided not toworry about filling my spot until the fall because I wasnt sure if i wanted another non walker for the summer and also all of my clients are on vacay the first 2 weeks of august so we were planning a trip. if this lady starts with me, i have to give up my vacy. I spoke with her about it and I said that I really wanted to fill the spot and that if necessary I would pass on the vacation time if our interview goes well and she wants to sign on. She seemed appreciative. anyway, i'm browsing on kijiji and see an ad for someone looking for care so i look at it and its the same woman. I read her ad only to find out she is looking for care only until September. WTF???? she nver mentioned it being a temporary placement. She is quite willing to have me give up my vacation time for a temp placememnt. I'm furious right now. I dont understandy why she would only need care for a couple of months other than she is in the process of hiring a sponsored live in and is exptecting them to arrive in September. I'm going to call her tomorrow. Any advice on what to say?

[dodge__driver11]

I would say something along the lines of "I just happened to be browsing Kijiji and I saw an ad that looked like it was written by you. It seems that the person who wrote the ad is seeking temp care? Is this the case for you? I am afraid that if it is I am going to keep searching for a perm. client."

[Momof4]

It's always great to have extra information about the family when you go into an interview so you can ask the right questions and make sure you get the right answers. I don't mind asking families if they are making a commitment to me until JK or if they are on a list for a centre and get a feeling for whether they are going to be loyal for the long haul. I think we have a right to know that before we accept a family. Good luck.

[Play and Learn]

First off, that blows.

Secondly, I would NEVER EVER give up a Vacation EVER. If parents sign on at different times throughout the year, I still have my year planned out. Upon interview time, I show them when I'm off.

[gramma]

i decided to call her today to clear this up before wasting my time tomorrow night. She claims that since she has to return to work on such short notice that she may not find anyone in time so she thought maybe she would also look for a university student to cover the summer while she continued to look for another provider. It makes sense but i'm not sure that i trust her. She never posted an ad looking for a full time long term provider which i would have thought would be her priority rather than potentially moving her young child from one provider to another in such a short time. I'm going ahead with the interview but im not going to give up my vacation time. This is the only time that my husband can take this summer and my daughter goes off to university in the fall and i dont want to go then in case she needs anything while she gets settled. So we'll see what happens.

[playfelt]

If her priority is getting someone for now then it makes sense. Assuming she will be having them come to her home so she has other things to consider. Once that is in place she will advertise for Sept. Also it gives her time to get back to work and make sure it is going ok and well there is always the chance that someone would call her now that could keep her on.

I am in that position now. I have a child leaving end of June and the replacement doesn't start till end of Oct and only doing it because it is the cousin of a child already in care and I got the children at the same time with one interview. So I have considered advertising for a summer fill in - ideal for someone on the wait list for a daycare centre. But I also have a family considering moving their child to the same daycare centre older brother is in to save on stops as now they do 3 and child I have will be 2 in Sept so able to be in the older - read cheaper - group with brother who will be 3. Until I know I would take a child now that was looking for potential for longterm but make no promises till I know. I'm sure that is what the mom is hoping for ....

or she just is not planning to tell the truth and then pull the child the end of the summer.

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

Ugh - sorry to hear that someone would behave like this towards you Gramma. :thumbdown: I would certainly proceed with caution with this family. What ever their reasons for not being totally upfront with you may have been, I still think that it's a crummy way to behave. I mean really - to have someone cancel their annual time off when you're not even planning on sticking around for the long haul. ? :no: I completely understand that families will do what is best for their own situations/families. I am the same way. BUT there is always a way to balance your own choices/needs while treating other people in a fair and decent fashion. Sadly, a lot of people just can't be bothered to do so. This family's actions demonstrate loud and clear that they will do what's best for them, so I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about what they "need" They sound like the kind of people who would be just fine at looking out for themselves. Fingers crossed that you can find a golden family (in a timely fashion) who will treat you better than this. :yes:

[Judy Trickett]

.............NEXT!

The fact alone that she asked or assumed you would give you YOUR vacation would be enough to pass on her right from the start. It reeks of her feeling like HER priorities are more important than yours.

[momofnerds]

I wouldn't give up my days off or vacation time. I also tell people that I only do permanent care because I hate having kids come and go.

[Robyn]

My vacation is set in stone! I go on the same 2 weeks every year so I can tell a family in September when I am closed. I have a family interviewing this week and they will be told first thing my vacation schedule I work too hard the whole year to give up MY time for anyone!

[gramma]

She never asked me to cancel vacation. It was me who brought it up given that it was so close to her start date. I asked if she would have back up. It was me who has to decide if I want to fill a spot or take vacation if she cant find back up.
I have since given this alot of thought and you are right that i'm not giving up my time off. Having time off is crucial for me to be able to continue to do this job. If she wants me bad enough she can figure it out and I figure if she cant figure it out for this vacation it will likely always be an issue.

[daycaremom9]

You should always stick to your plan because you never know what the future holds. You have to look out for yourself and not provide extra favours hoping that it will be reciprocated. I find that parents don't reciprocate unless it works in their favour.

[briar_rose]

I think a lot of people aren't upfront about only needing temporary care as many DCPers would not take them if that was the case so there would be less to choose from. I've had two families leave me after 4 and 8 months to go to a centre and it was annoying. While I kinda wish they had been upfront about it, I don't know if I would have taken them if they were. I don't think you should change your vacation for a new client. I would let them know that you will be closed that week when they sign.

[apples and bananas]

If you have trust issues with the parent before you even interview I probably wouldn't even bother with the interview... what's the point? You're always going to be questioning their honesty.

I understand the need to fill a spot, however, I have learned very quickly that when we fill a spot because we feel we need to something seems to go wrong.

I have set up a savings account. It's my "I can terminate you because I don't need your money" account. It gives me the security that I'm not "held hostage" by any of my clients.