The unbothered, unstartled child...AKA non-listener!

[sunnydays]

I have a newish dcg who recently turned two. If she is about to do something unsafe and I shout at her to stop (I don't yell at the kids, but if she is running toward the road like today, obviously shouting is in order) she doesn't even pause...just keeps on going! The first time I took her to the park she took off on me (luckily away from the road) and I had to sprint after her (she is fast!) and she spent the rest of the park trip in the stroller. She improved a lot after that and I was beginning to trust her more until today:mad: Today she took off after a bubble and was running straight toward the road...I shouted and she kept going..I had to sprint after her and when I caught her she laughed. She spent the rest of the trip strapped into the stroller, but didn't seem bothered. It is the same at home...she will run into rooms not used for daycare and go to grab things...I will tell her to stop...she doesn't even pause :no: Once she was standing on the couch (there is no wall behind it) and I told her to sit down and instead she catapoulted herself headfirst over the back (thank goodness there was a soft toddlers couch on the floor on the other side). I will be keeping her very close to me at the park from now on, but any suggestions for a child who is not even slightly phased by a stern voice, a shout, or any kind of tone of voice at all? She really scares me to tell you the truth and I am now concerned that something could happen!

[torontokids]

That would worry me too! What about a wrist strap attached to you when at the park until she develops more self control?

[sunnydays]

Yes, I use this when she is practicing walking by the stroller. I had thought today that I will attach her to that while playing at the park as well...possibly in the house when we are on our way upstairs to go get our shoes on as well..LOL. She won't be able to climb the play structure with the strap on, but I guess that will be her loss ;)

[Skysue]

I have 2 daycare kids like that and I have to use my house bunny voice. If you have seen the movie you know what I'm talking about. It's a voice when used loudly makes them stop in there tracks.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhctECVvLvo

[sunnydays]

LOL Skysue! I have not seen the movie, but watched the clip you provided...I will work on my house bunny voice..LOL

[dodge__driver11]

ot:whats with that voice ^^^

[Sassygirl]

Have you tried clapping? I clap with my toddlers and it seems to work. It startles them and gets their attention. I also make the noise that the Dog Whisperer makes too and that works as well.

[sunnydays]

I have no idea what sounds the Dog Whisperer makes...but thinking that it could help as kids and dogs are a lot alike...LOL. Do you have a clip of the sound? I will try clapping...that's a good idea :)

[playfelt]

If parents treat that sort of behaviour as a game and chase her, cajole her etc. then she knows no boundaries. For sure she gets no leeway in the sense of pick an amount of space and if she moves more than 5 feet from you she gets a reprimand - so if you move she is responsible for moving too while at the park. At home keeping her at arms length or in the same area as you are in and letting her know why might help but not likely.

Play yard time in the house can work where she is confined to an area - can be sectioned off with shelves, furniture, gates, etc. till she earns the privilege of playing out might work. She has the self control of the infants/toddlers but the abilities of an older child but for all intents it is the same - she does not know how to play within limits so to start she has total limitations - here is your spot and here are your three choices of toys and remind her it is because she doesn't listen then expand her horizons. Much like we would do with a child that won't listen and pick up to stifle their mess making abilities for this child it is about redefining her ways of interacting with things.

[sunnydays]

Thanks Playfelt. I am also going to talk to the parents about how/if they are dealing with this behaviour at home. My husband said he saw her take off down the road one day when the dad was taking her to the car, so I am certain I am not the only one experiencing this problem. She definitely doesn't seem concerned about getting in trouble...most kids this age would at least pause and think about it when spoken to sharply...not this one! The problem occurs mainly when we are moving from downstairs to up and when we are outside, so I will keep her glued to me at those times as those are the times when she could actually get into serious trouble. Playfelt, you are exactly right...I find the kids who start with me as babies normally go through this phase between 14-18 months or so, but they are not very fast and easy to catch and strap into the stroller. This little one is 2 and extremely fast, so it is much much more scary!

[sunnydays]

Thank you Littlefeet! I love this idea!!! Why the h*** didn't I think of that??! I am going to see if I can find one around the house tonight and otherwise I will be buying myself one tonight...on a cord so I can keep it around my neck. And we may do some practice with it at home ;)

[playfelt]

Like in gym class. One whistle means stop where you are. Two whistles means stop and sit where you are to listen to the next instruction and three whistles means come to teacher right now.

[Momof4]

Omigosh Sunnydays, we are having the same kind of days, except my dcg is 15 months old. She spends the last part of park and library visits in the stroller due to non-listening as well. Since your dcg is new it's probably the same problem, even though they are not the same age.

My dcg and yours are just getting their first dose of rules and learning that following them is important. Thankfully, my dcparents are working on their daughter as hard as I am to teach her that she can't dump the toys or the buggy and then climb in or spin on the computer chair or run away outside and so on and so on. I'm beat! I hope you can get across to your dcparents that they have to be stricter at home with rules.