PLEASE! Need help with very difficult parents!

[mommarmars]

Hey all I really need some advise on how to handle a situation.

The mom of my full time 1 yr old girl who has only been with me for 3 months informed me last week that she was giving me her two weeks notice. Her contract was 1 year term with a summer agreement that held her spot for a minimum charge till september when she would return. The agreement also covers 2 weeks UNPAID vacation and 6 PAID sick days. My mother became ill with cancer and i have to leave next week to help her in England. I will be gone for 13 business days. I asked the parents for their permission 10 weeks ago and they o.k'd the time off.

At the end of a clients stay with me i apply their security deposit to their last two weeks if they haven't paid me already. My contract states - 10 days written notice must be given - in lieu of 10 days your 2 week security deposit will be used to cover the days and or be applied to outstanding charges.

They gave me 7 days notice stating it would have been 10 but it's my fault because i'm on vacation. Then the mom said if i knew you where going to make a big deal about it i would have told you sooner because I knew 5 days ago. (so she waited 5 days before giving me 10 days notice) Basically she yelled at me at my front door telling me that she wants me to refund her for 3 days. I also explained to her that she has been late 44 day (15 minutes or more) out of 68 days of care that I have (not yet) charged her for. $5 for every half hour. She turned and left. Today her 6'7" husband confronted me again at the front door after handing me his daughter. He threatened to take me to court, post horrible review about me everywhere - and when i said that my service to his daughter has been perfect he said he didn't care about that. he also said that he would have me and my business investigated for fraud! I'm so upset right now. I would love to give them a refund but then that just lets them walk all over me even though I'm not in the wrong - not only that but it would be like saying that their bullying and threatening confrontations at my front door - while children are present would be acceptable.

the requested amount is $159.
Their late fee charges amount to $220.

[mamabear]

After talking to you like that they would NOT be allowed to return and NO refund!!

[cfred]

Sorry to hear this. They sound like real gems! It's a tough call. Personally, I'd likely stand my ground. They signed the contract, they knew what to expect. Why on earth would she wait 5 days to tell you of the termination??? In the future, if you don't already have it in your contract, you may want to address the issue of when to leave notice. My contract states that I require 1 months written/paid notice of termination. This notice may NOT be given in order to coincide with my vacation time. It must be either made 1 month before I go on vacation or on the first business day after I return. Sadly, sometimes people suck and it's good to cover that.

The fact that she actually yelled at you in front of the kids is bad enough. To send her husband to (in essence) intimidate you is appalling. Depending on where he posts bad reviews, you can choose whether or not to show reviews (here for instance). You could always rebut his reviews as well, in a professional manner. If he wants to take you to court, I don't see where they're going to get with that....they signed the contract agreeing to your terms. I'm not sure how all that works, but I would almost think that if you had to take time off work for court dates, the judge would possibly rule that they have to pay your expenses if you win. But really, would anyone with a teaspoon of brains actually take someone to court over $159??? That's just nuts.

Don't sweat this too much and chalk it up to a really sh&%ty family trying to strong arm you. DO NOT ALLOW THEM ON YOUR PROPERTY AGAIN!!! Oh, and any (I mean ANY) discussion about this issue with them should be via email so you have 2 sided documentation. It would be quite helpful to you if you could correspond via email with the mother and get this whole mess in an email. That would be pretty damning evidence if it ever came to a court situation.

Sorry to hear about your mum....I hope she's on the mend :)

[mommarmars]

Thank you so much cfred & mommabear. I really appreciate your input.

[Crayola kiddies]

Hand them their child and all their belongings tonight with a written termination notice effective immediately due to disrespectful behaviour by the parent. My contract states I can term without notice due to gross misconduct and all monies paid are forfeited.

[mommarmars]

I do have a termination notice but I have nothing about the fees so I know they will fight me about it. .....I also naively wrote that i would give 2 weeks written notice if daycare terminates. Does that even apply if I feel unsafe with the parents? I am seriously considering using the remainder of my sick/personal days with them as they are paid per our agreement....they insist on bringing their daughter till the end of the 2weeks (7 days) which is next tuesday......

[JennJubie]

Unbelievable. They yell at you, harass you, and then have the nerve to threaten you with court because they couldn't follow a contract that they signed. I'd do exactly as Crayola suggested. Terminate care TODAY. I would be very upset if someone ever spoke to me that way, and there's no way in hell that someone would yell at me or threaten me in my own damned house.

[JennJubie]

I do have a termination notice but I have nothing about the fees so I know they will fight me about it. .....I also naively wrote that i would give 2 weeks written notice if daycare terminates. Does that even apply if I feel unsafe with the parents? I am seriously considering using the remainder of my sick/personal days with them as they are paid per our agreement....they insist on bringing their daughter till the end of the 2weeks (7 days) which is next tuesday......

No one should EVER, EVER make you feel unsafe.

[torontokids]

I have to say though, I don't know about these late charges you are telling them they owe you for. Unless you say something/charge them daily it looks like you are just throwing this at them because of what they are trying to pull.

[mommarmars]

A torontokids - Which is why i haven't charged them. I've spoken to them a few times about being late and they ignored it......it being so close to our "summer agreement" i didn't want to rock the boat...BUT I was going to request a sit down with them to discuss the terms of the agreement (the same day they gave me notice) They told me I inconvenienced them so much that no matter what i said would it make a difference (referring to me leaving to take care of my mom) When I explained the accommodations I've made for them (including the late fee I didn't charge) she laughed at me. The next day they were late again. I record it all on their & my daily log sheet.

[mommarmars]

They were what I thought to be a stable & kind family which is why I was a bit too giving with charges...etc....I wanted to forma good long term relationship with them. After this I feel like it is just one more thing they want to take advantage of.....

I even declined care for temporary potential clients during the summer holidays because I was holding their spot as per my agreement to them.....had i known they were on a waiting list for this other place I would never have committed that space to them.

[mimi]

So dcdad hand you his daughter and then berates you in front of her and leaves? This would definitely be their last day. They would leave with termination papers in hand and a promise that if they malign your personal and proffessional reputation in public - verbal and in print - then I will sue them for slander. Since they have done this about face regarding their hostility to you and threats I would also tell them they must leave your property immediately or the police will be called and then they can explain why you terminated to the police.

[Lou]

They would not be stepping foot back in my house. Honestly, and I would hate with every ounce of my being doing this, but I would just refund them the money, hand them an immediate termination notice as a result of "behaving confrontational and intimidating in front of the children", and send them on their way forever.

[Lou]

I would also make sure my husband or another male witness was there. Bullies like this aren't worth the aggravation.

[Crayola kiddies]

what I find the most disturbing ...shocking actually is that the dad berates/harasses/threatens/bullies you and then leaves his child in your care ..... does anybody else see anything wrong with this????????

[mommarmars]

I guess the question right now is: If I terminate care today do I refund for the remaining time or do they forfeit fees because of violent behaviour? (I have rude and verbally abusive behaviour from parents to anyone on my property in front of children an act of violent behaviour) at this point I just want it over with with the most amount of professionalism as possible.....

[playfelt]

Well for sure the parents have made you sick so just send them on their way tonight saying you are closed to their child due to the headache they caused and need a paid sick day tomorrow. Ok so maybe not the right way to word it.

Given what is happening it makes me think they never intended to stay for the summer anyways. Closed due to illness can mean different things to different people - mental anguish is a good enough reason to call in sick. With everything going on in your life right now I would probably release them as of today, call in sick for tomorrow due to their treatment and the headache it is causing. Tomorrow will be one of your paid sick days but should still count to be paid from their end of term deposit. I would probably refund the two days for next week they are asking for but the bonus to you is that you are getting paid for not providing care tomorrow.

[mimi]

No refunds. Their misbehaviour has caused their termination. All fees are forfeited due to abusive/threatening behavior. Termination due to safety reasons.

[playfelt]

In an ideal world I would say no fees to be returned but since they have threatened in some very nasty ways you have to question whether you think they would follow through with it. Sometimes biting the bullet and giving in to save our reputation is the right thing to do. By terminating today but still returning some money you get the best of everything - no more dealing with the family, reputation intact and a quieter tomorrow. That doesn't mean you have to return to them everything they are asking for - just have a rational reason for the amount you choose to return.

[sunnydays]

I tend to agree with Playfelt. Terminate immediately and refund the money. That way you don't have to deal with them anymore in any way. For me it wouldn't be worth the battle for the amount they owe. I have terminated immediately before and I returned deposits...just wanted it done and over with. For me it was easier and just not worth the potential stress.

[mommarmars]

Thank you everyone for your input! It has helped me greatly!

I have decided that the best way to resolve this is to offer them a refund for the next 3 days of care (that is the amount of days left for me to take care of their child) which would essentially terminate care today. I have outlined my concern regarding parental behaviour as a factor in this decision.

[Other Mummy]

So sorry you have to go through this mommamars :( It takes all kinds. These folks sound horrid. Especially in lieu of the reason why you need to travel. Prayers for your mother and don't give these soul suckers any more of your time and thoughts. Get RID of them NOW! Your solution sounds like the best option right now. I would also add that if they come on your property again, you will call the police. The father is a bully pure and simple.

[mimi]

Sorry mommarmars, I forgot to mention I hope your Mom regains her health and that you have a good visit with her. :flower:

[Lou]

Yes, I'm sorry about your Mom as well! :(
Please let us know how it goes with the loser parents.

[dodge__driver11]

I was in this situation before too, and you know what? I stuck to my guns and kept my money...EVERY TIME THEY SHOWED UP on my property, I informed them that I would be calling the police and having them escorted away. After a week of the nonsense I never heard from them again. (the police warned them after a week of showing up that the next time they would be charged)

It depends what you want to do.

But I sure as heck WOULD NOT BE ALLOWING THEM INTO CARE AGAIN.

[apples and bananas]

OMG! So, he hands you the daughter then continues to "threaten" you?

I would have handed the child back, passed him his belongings and let him know that I would be calling the police as he's threatening you on your property.

This is one of the worst parts about our business. We are, for the most part, home alone with several children. We invite parents who we really don't know that well (we don't do police checks on them or reference checks on the parents) in to our home on a daily basis.

We all need to be able to react immediately when we feel threatened or bullied. No amount of money is worth that.

I would have simply given the child back, returned their items and shut the door. I would have called someone over to assist me with the rest of the kids. I would have called the police and reported him as threatening and I would take my contracts to collections if they still owed you money.

If you have the money and they're asking for a refund then I would hope that a visit from the police about threats would make them go away. Otherwise, it would be another call to the police.

I will not put up with threatening behaviour in my home and I will not be put in a position where I feel unsafe.

I hope all works out with your mom. I think your decision to return the money at this point is the only way out. However, if they utter any further threats to you or your business you should write them down, time and date stamp them and call the police in immediately.