Possibly upset parent re: length of nap/quiet time

[kimg]

I have a 2 yr old that up until a month ago has been a good napper. He was my first, so in the begining, I use to bring him down with me after he woke up (after 45 min), and he would nap in my arms for another hour. Big mistake, I know.

When I got my second kid, I was able to transition him so that he napped the entire time in his PnP. Until a month ago, that was working out great, at least 2 hours. Then he started dreading nap time, he would start crying as soon as lunch was over. Unless I was in the room with him while he fell asleep, he'd cry himself to sleep. Then he started to wake up after less than an hour. It's been like that for a few weeks. Sometimes I can get him back to sleep, and sometimes I just go in and check on him every so often until nap time is over. He has some toys and books to keep him occupied. He usually cries for a while, if not the entire remainder of quiet time.

I;ve been honest with him mom, telling her that he's been having trouble sleeping, but I guess I haven't communicated properly because she was under the impression that I took him out of his playpen when he woke up after 45 minutes. When she heard that quiet time was 2 hours no matter what, I could tell that she was upset. Tell me a two hour quiet/nap time is a realistic expectation? Would you take him out of his crib when he woke up? I feel like I need to clear the air with the mom, but I want to make sure I'm not expecting too much from her son.

[sunnydays]

All of my dck's stay in their beds for the entire 2 hours of naptime (often 2.5). They learn pretty quickly to either go back to sleep if they wake up early or lie there quietly. I do not give them toys or books as that would be to stimulating and they would find it hard to sleep. All of my dck's sleep for the entire naptime most days because I have trained them to do this...if they wake up early they know they have to wait. It is not unrealistic.

[smileyface]

Quiet time is 2 hours here as well. I have them all stay in their beds/playpens for the 2 hours. You're not being unreasonable... I think this is standard for all daycares. If you went in to get the child whenever they wake up, then they will never learn to nap for the 2 hours. You have to train them.

[kimg]

Thanks! I ended up calling the parent to clear the air, and while I think we both ended the conversation feeling better, nothing was actually resolved. She thinks 2 hours is too long for her son, and I expect 2 hours because anything less would be disruptive to the other kids.

For those who have early wakers, how did you initially train them to be content in their space?

The mom also either lies with her son, or he falls asleep with his older brother, and on the days when I don't have him (he is part time), the dad doesn't follow a schedule at all. I know this is part, if not all of the problem, but I can't exactly tell her what to do with her own kid when they are at home.

[treeholm]

My rest time is 2.5 hours, but if a child is upset, I will get them up at the 2 hour mark. If they cry before 2 hours have gone by, they learn to self-soothe. They stay quietly in their pack n play's now, but a few of them spent a few weeks crying/screaming the whole 2 hours... I just had to stick it out, and once they realized they had to learn to self- soothe, they became delightful little nippers who go to bed cheerfully, and wake up smiling and well-rested. Hang in there!

[zoomama]

2 hours is totally realistic. Remind the mom that being in group care is much different than hanging with mom or dad all day, and that with all the activity and mental stimulation it would be unhealthy for her child NOT to have that down time.

[zoomama]

I had a teachermom pull her 4yo daughter because my program went against what she "knew to be true about age-appropriate care". I never forced her daughter to nap and in fact had to work to keep her awake. It was a relief to see them go.

[mommyof2princesses]

Here too its a 2 hour (or more sometimes) naptime and the dck all know to stay quietly in their playpens/mats until I come get them at the end of naptime :)

[Other Mummy]

2 hour minimum over here as well. I've sleep trained all my daycare kids. Part timers are harder to follow routines, especially sleep time. This is why I insist on a 3 day min. when I do offer PT. which is very rare.

It is not unrealistic. Their little bodies need to rest and recharge. Whether they sleep or not is not the issue. They need to stay quiet and rest. Period. This is also my break and I'm NOT negotiating that to any client. :mad:

[Crayola kiddies]

mine is three hours (12-3) and most of them sleep that long as they all arrive in the morning between 6:45 and 7:15 and we spend the mornings outside so they are tired. I have fans running in some rooms and in the hallway and if someone wakes up early they don't bother anyone. my three youngest when they started with my never slept more then 45 mins to and hour.....but most parents don't realize that everybody wakes up mid sleep cycle...we adults turn over and go back to sleep but kids cry ...they aren't necessarily awake but the parent goes in and gets them up so they never learn to go back to sleep ....it takes a few weeks of letting them cry before they figure it out .....but no if they wake up and cry well that's their choice but they don't come out before 3. I have one that falls asleep in his lunch chair everyday at 1130...I put him to bed and at 315 I have to wake him up ...this is the child that mom could only get to sleep 40 minutes when he started here....so to answer your question no 2 hours is not unrealistic.....expl ain to the mom that you need to respect the needs of all the children and that if you get her child up then the other children will wake up and not get the sleep that they need.

[apples and bananas]

Mine is almost 3 some days too. I have trained all my kids that even if they wake up prior to the 2 hour min they still lay down until I come to get them.

It's for their benefit but it's also for mine.

Parents don't understand that we are not a centre where there are multiple employees. It's just me and 5 kids. I need my break!

I would leave him to cry it out. I wouldn't keep going in to check or allow him to have books.

I have kids who don't sleep at all at home and their mom gets them every time they make any kind of noise. Here, they just lay there... because they know I'm not coming!

In my experience it takes about 3 weeks for a child to "get it" in my care.

I would simply tell the mom (if she brings it up again) 2 hours is the min. Kids need their rest, you have a full day and they need to rest. You also need to rest and need the break in order to set up for the afternoon activities.

However, if mom doesn't mention it then I wouldn't. Let her bring it up. Your house, your rules.

[busydaycarelady]

My quiet time is 2 hours as well. I have found that most kids learn quickly to sleep that whole time. For ones that don't, I go and lay them back down and let them know that quiet time is not over a d they're waking up the other kids and now everyone will be cranky because of that. They generally get the point quick and realize I am not going to bend. I usually let them take aboard book or 2 to bed and they quietly read themif they wake up early.