How dare this woman question my nap policy!

[Sassygirl]

I am curious about everyone's thoughts regarding their nap policy.

A bit of background. I currently have 3 full time day a week toddlers in my care along with my own son. All are 12-16 months. I also will have another toddler starting 3 days a week in July and I keep my 5th spot open to my part timers (I have one who comes every Wed and 2 other families that work on call so I usually get notice by the Sunday before what days they come and I am fine with that).
My one on call mom is fabulous. So considerate. Her daughter who is 13 months however is well... lets say at naptime she wakes my entire house. Typically she is here 1 day a week and lately its been half days. Arrives at 12 picked up by 4. This little girl doesn't just cry at naptime... She SCREEEEECHES like a banshee and no matter what room she is in, how many white noise machines (yesterday I had one in the bedroom she was in and one outside the bedroom door) she woke up all 4 other kids. Mom is fully aware of this situation and every time she picks her up apologize profusely. I told mom yesterday if it happens again next time she is here I am calling the emergency contacts and having her picked up.
Anyway when mom picked up yesterday she had her sister in law with her. I was trying to talk to the mom about her daughters screeching and how afternoon naptime 1-3 pm is a MUST here and I cannot have this child waking the entire house. I have 3 full time families who are ALL commuters and want their children to have proper naps in order to spend time with them in the evenings before bed. This sister in law jumped in asking why do they have to nap 2 hours? That when she looks after dcg she usually goes only 45 mins and is "just fine" Good Lord! I tried to compose myself and asked this sister in law: "Have you ever looked after 5 one years olds at once? Ran a program with them and worked 10 hour days with NO break?" she didn't respond so I continued "Well naptime is MANDATORY here for 2 hours every afternoon, all my FULL TIME parents want it and some also nap for 1 hour each morning too. I need that break every afternoon to clean up for sanitary reasons and to prep my snack and activities. Again, she had no response. I also think day care mom was a tad embarrassed.
Have you ever had your naptime questioned? What was your response?
I am supposed to hear from dcm on Sunday about the days for next week and I am thinking of saying to her "I am bothered by your sister in laws questioning my nap policy. I am not a licensed centre but do follow the Day Nurseries act which states 2 hour nap/quiet time up to age 44 months. If you have any issues with my nap policy than please let me know but any group setting requires a 2 hour break in the afternoon and if that isn't working then maybe we aren't a good fit".
Thoughts? Thanks in advance :-)

[daycaremum]

I don't think I would bring it up with the mom. You handled the situation well and by setting the SIL straight in front of mom, you already showed them both that nap time is non-negotiable. The mom never said she had a problem with the naptime, the SIL did.
Perhaps you could require an earlier drop off time so that this child is not just at your home for rest time, but some busy playtime as well before hand.

[Other Mummy]

It's because the SIL could not give a hoot about you, your program or the other children. You gave a PERFECT answer. Nap time is more for the provider to regroup, recharge, clean up, prep, etc. Very rude. I'm fuming for you:mad:

[mimi]

Your reply was excellent Sassygirl. I would not revisit the nap issue unless Mom brings it up. You have made your position perfectly clear. Well done girl.

[momofnerds]

what the sil was really saying is "she screams here too thats why she naps for only 45min and i wished she would nap longer"

[Sassygirl]

Thanks! I knew you ladies would have my back. It took everything in me to remain calm answering her let me tell you though. She was in MY house questioning me? I think not!
I agree with Momofnerds as well... She is probably jealous because the only naps for 45 mins there. There is no way for a 13 month old that 45 mins all day is okay!

[zoomama]

I've been not only "questioned" but outright TOLD "dcg will NOT nap anymore!!" by two different dcms. One came around after a talk and the other dcf left. I understand your anger and indignation!!! However, this dcm sounds totally understanding and as much as it's hard not to be frustrated with the parent when a child is difficult, it's so much easier when they are at least reasonable and kind.

I wouldn't tell dcm about your frustrations re sil. It wasn't her fault and it doesn't sound like she even agreed. I have a policy of taking full timers only due to these kinds of issues. I do have one dcg who comes 4 days/wk, but her parents are awesome and dcg is too. Does mom leave daughter for 2 hour quiet time at home? That's the first place to start. Consistency is crucial for little ppl, and for your own sanity!

[zoomama]

Sil getting dcg up after 45 min is probably your biggest problem. Tell THAT to SIL!! ;)

[sunnydays]

I agree with the others..I would not bring it up again. It wasn't the mom who said it. However, I think since this child only comes very part-time and often half days, there is little hope she will improve at naptime unless parents are following the same routine at home (which they are not). For me it would not be worth the stress and headache to have a child one partial day per week. Also, I am wondering why the white noise machine are in and outside of the screecher's room? They should be next to the other children to block out the noise.

[Lou]

I've had 2 parents request that their children not nap anymore. I seriously just don't think that they even have considered that we deserve a break! One family pushed it a bit and a laid it out to them like this, "Here's another way to look at it, you pay me $35/day, so that's about $3.80 and hour and you're asking me not to take a lunch break." That ended all dispute right there...they were never really argumentative just really trying, lol.

[playfelt]

Be very careful of saying the reason kids nap two hours is so you can have a two hour break. No one gets two hours off at work either really.

Kids NEED two hours and especially those in daycare who are not getting enough at night by the time parents get them into bed and up in the morning to come to care. When a parent tells me the child is fine on the weekend with no nap I remind them that our pace is a lot faster, nosier and busier than at home by themselves and that I am not able to comfort them one on one to help them cope so they need to be able to do it themselves. With one child yes I can keep them up all day if I keep interacting with them but that is not realistic in group care.

Two issues with the 13 month old - child needs to come earlier in the day so she has playtime instead of arriving at naptime. It would also make sure she isn't being allowed to sleep in till she wants to meaning she is getting her nap just doing it tacked onto the nighttime sleep instead of saving it for afternoon - she may very well not be tired at naptime.

[Momof4]

I don't watch the clock, if they awaken after an hour and a half or three hours I let them sleep. It seems to depend on the day of the week how tired they are or how much activity we've had all morning.

However, the first one awake has to stay quiet and in their bed until all of the children are awake. If it's taking a really long time for the last one to wake up I'll start changing diapers or taking the others to the potty and getting snacktime ready. The child who sleeps the longest at my daycare right now is the 3 year old, he's the oldest and there have been times that all the others are finished snack and back in the toyroom/sleeproom to wake him.

[Sff]

I agree about needing naps, but also about needing to be carful about wording to parents. My other quick question is about the ages of your dck? I was under the impression rules state, one under one, two under two, etc. You mentioned you have up to 5 under 18 mths/2 yrs? Can someone clarify the official law in Ontario about this? Thanks

[CrazyEight]

if you're not working with a licensed agency, you can have 5 children that are not your own at one time, and there are no age restrictions. The age ratios only come into effect through agencies such as wee watch, etc. "Unlicensed" or "private" daycares, of which I am one, are perfectly legal as long as there are never more than 5 daycare children under care at any one time. A private daycare cannot be licensed, although that is the term a lot of them toss around, but they can be contracted by a licensed agency, who then restricts their ages.