Little one not drinking

[Mama W2]

Good evening ladies. I just had my new little one picked up early because she refused to drink for me. She is breastfed, 12 mos and underweight. My daughter is two months younger than her and is 3 lbs heavier! Mom sends pumped milk for her but I can usually only get her to take 1-2 oz a day (8:30am-5:30pm). She can't use sippy on her own and I have to physically hold it for her. Mom does not want to use bottles, says it's regression. I told her that the little one likes my daughter's cups (plastic, BPA free, light weight). She bought others and little one took milk yesterday from them. Today she would not take one sip of anything for me (milk or water). I even tried three different cups. At 3:30, I called Mom and told her that I did not want to be responsible for her daughter being dehydrated (not many wet diapers), and asked her to come get her early. Mom was more than ok with this as the last time she had anything to drink was 6am. She came to get her and we'll try again tomorrow. I'm just fearful that this will continue. If she didn't come early, she would not get home until 6pm and it would be 12 hours of no liquid. Would you be worried? Have you been in this situation? Calling parents to come get her good idea?

[playfelt]

She may also be teething and it hurts to hold the cup in the mouth to drink. Take any no spill insert out so the milk flows freely and more or less pour small amounts into her mouth.

As weird as it sounds use the medicine syringe. She is used to breastfeeding which means once she latches on the milk squirts onto the roof of her mouth and she swallows it. Fill the syringe and squirt. Just keep repeating till she seems to want to hold the syringe in her mouth and suck and then try a cup without the no spill insert so it flows freely - just watch how freely you let it flow so she doesn't gag.

Make sure you are warming the breastmilk and quite warm as that is the temperature she is used to from breastfeeding as in slightly warmer than body temperature.

[Mama W2]

Thanks playfelt! I don't think it is her teeth though. She doesn't quite get the concept of holding the cup herself yet. I've been trying to teach her and have the cup on her high chair while eating so she can watch my daughter and the other little one I have do it, in hopes she catches on. I asked her mother how much milk she takes from her with the sippy and she told me 2-3 oz but she has to hold the cup for her. If she continues to not take anything from me, I will try the medicine syringe. I never thought of that. Thanks!

[playfelt]

Don't forget if this child is completely breastfed that they have never had to hold anything to drink. Those that use a bottle have an easier transition from holding bottle to holding a cup. Yes you will need to hold it for her for awhile. Place her hands on the cup - ideally use one with handles and hold your hands over hers so she can't let go and that will help her get the hang of it.

[Mama W2]

I'm getting really concerned now. Day three nothing to drink. She won't even let me put a medicine syringe in her mouth. She holds her mouth closed tight and pushes me away and turns her head. She arrives at 8:30 and leaves at 5:30. She eats puree but will not drink anything! She's losing weight and only drinks when she's home. What should I do? What should I suggest to her parents? She's already an underweight baby and has regular weigh ins. I'm scared for her well being.

[Momof4]

My first recommendation would be for you to relax because children pick up on our stress. Babies don't starve themselves but they can be very stubborn. Are you sure she's losing weight? If so, that's probably very temporary and she'll learn next week that this is her new life and daycare is going to be her new reality whether she likes it or not.

I understand why you are upset but keep asking the parents what they want you to do. Keep trying but relax.

[sunnydays]

Since you said she is eating purees, try not to panic. Remember that there is water in fruits and vegetables as well. What about mixing some of her milk into some of the purees and feeding it to her that way? Or if she will eat baby cereal, you can mix it with her milk instead of water. She will probably not get dehydrated if she is eating purees, but you can get in the extra liquid and calories that way...start by mixing just a little in and then add more if it goes down well.

[Artsand crafts]

I currently have one like that but she started with me at the beginning of June. She does not drink for me, only sips here and there and some days not even that. She looks very healthy rosy cheeks, happy and active. So after almost 2 months of this she isn't dehydrated. She is breastfed at home and drink for her parents. I also serve fruits 1 or 2 times a day here. So she is getting more liquids in here from there. She is tiny, though. I have other two 12 months old and they are much heavier.

About the not eating during the first days that is common too. She and another infant that started at the same time weren't eating or drinking for me the first days. I just keep putting food in their trays and let them decide whether to eat or not. They both are now great eaters. It's just the girl not drinking. Today I gave her milk using the plate and spoon I usually use when I give her soup or yogurt and she drank a little bit more than usual. I will keep trying that way without pushing her or making a big deal out of it because I know it could become a control thing and I don't want to go there.

[playfelt]

How much puree is mom giving the child or she just breast feeding while at home. That may be what is putting the child underweight in that they need to be eating more. Offer cereal made with the breastmilk - even though it says just add water. Offer as much puree as the child will eat and if she isn't drinking then give her applesauce instead. If mom isn't serving much food then you will need to serve all the food at daycare and she will do all her drinking at home.

[daycarewhisperer]

She is not cup or nipple trained. She's exclusively breast fed. Her mom knew she wasn't able to drink anything but breast milk from her and she went ahead and put her somewhere for nine hours a day with no ability to take liquids. Shame on her fir being so negligent. It's abuse and she needs to be called to the table and told straight up that she can't come to your business until she can SHOW you that the kid can GUZZLE liquid from a cup with NO adult involvement other than handing her the cup.

[mommyof2princesses]

I am going through this situation right now......dcg (15 mths) who is about the size of a 7 mth old is strictly breastfed and refuses anything food/drink here and at home. She is breastfed at 6:30am and then not again until almost 4:00pm when after mom picks up....been like that for 3 months now. Dcg had a pediatrician follow-up apt today about this and dr admitted her to hospital today cause she has lost too much weight. Parents didn't take this seriously and I kept trying to tell them she needs to eat, drink, etc....she is being fed through iv for the next few days and then they will decide what to do after that.

[Mama W2]

Thank you all for your advice and input. Today was (hopefully) the start of the way things are going to be. She drank 3 oz of milk and 1 oz of water. On top of that, ate her entire lunch plus two full snacks:) She slept for 4 hours in total:))) When I put her down to nap, she didn't cry once. She smiled, laughed and even danced with us today!! I felt so wonderful, knowing she was having a fun day with us. When her Mom came to get her, I couldn't say enough about how wonderful the day was. I'm sure on Monday there will be a set back as she will have been with Mom and Dad the entire weekend, but with time she will realize that every week she is coming back to my house and we have different rules than Mommy and Daddy do. So proud of her, me and you for all of your kind words of wisdom. Have a great weekend. You all deserve it:)

[Mama W2]

I'm so sorry to hear this mommyof2princesses. I know that when we care for these little ones, we do it as if they were our own. When they are not thriving, we feel guilty...as if we can do something to fix it. Unfortunately, we are not their parents. We do not make the final call. All we can do is to make sure parents know what is going on and what our feelings are to make the situation better (I have been careful to make sure everything that is going on has been documented). I hope that your little one starts to come around. I hope she starts to feel better and gets into the swing of things. My only advise to you is to make sure you have written documentation between you and parents (via text, email, etc.) showing your concern. My fear was that my little one would have lost so much weight and parents would say it was my fault. I don't want to see that happen to you. Good luck, and if you need someone to talk to about your situation, I completely understand and I am an ear of absolutely no judgement:)