Had a dcm REFUSE to come and pick up her sick dcg after she vomited this morning!

[Sassygirl]

Hi everyone! Its naptime still here and I have my cup of tea and am in desperate need of a vent and support.
This morning after morning nap, I went to get up 16 month old dcg and she was covered in vomit. Before I even picked her up I called her mom to tell her to come and get her. I have recently updated my sickness policy and gave it out to parents 2 weeks ago which clearly states after vomiting 1 time they need to come and pick up their child.
Mom says "I absolutely cannot come to get her, she was fine this morning" I offered to call dcd and she said that he was working approx 2 hours away for the day. Thankfully my husband has the day off today so he was able to help out with the other dckiddos and our own son, all aged 13-19 months. Mom then realized she had better change her tune so basically begged me to keep her daughter until at least lunch. This was 9:30am! I said to mom that she was lucky I had hubby home that I would clean up her daughter and if her mood is miserable or the second it happens again she needs to pick up ASAP.
Unbelievable!
This family has no other emergency contacts as they have no family or close friends nearby. They are the same family who gives me grief when I give a months notice on my unpaid personal days off when I decide to take them.
I sympathize but I am not responsible for them not having back up care in place.
Mom called me again an hour later and I told her flat out that if this happens again she is to pick up ASAP and she lucked out today with my husband being home. Her daughter is fine, ate lunch, and mood is great! Must have been a one time thing maybe a bad batch of milk that was sent in her bottle.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Parent refusing to come pick up their sick child?
This is her 2nd strike BTW... I may term them when I go on my maternity leave in March if this kind of behaviour keeps up if not sooner!

[Crayola kiddies]

This would be her last day in my daycare !

[Sassygirl]

I am 22 weeks pregnant with my 5th child. I had a now false IPS test result which tested positive for Downs Syndrome. I told all of my dcp since I was having to take some last minute time off for further testing which was all last minute. Thankfully (although we were fine either way if baby had Downs Syndrome) that further testing proved that baby was fine and the IPS was a false positive. During this time, the dcm said to me that I should close my daycare should baby have Downs, that it would be too much work in her opinion. Nice and supportive huh?
Other than her attitude, her daughter is a sweetheart and sleeps and eats great! They always pay on time. I am quite bothered by what happened when dcg got sick earlier though and I am leaning towards terming them in March. It will be sooner if she keeps up this kind of behaviour!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have the same policy as you....if a child throws up they are instantly sent home. I do feel bad because there are often times that it's a one time thing but unfortunately we don't know that at the time. I am responsible for all the children in my care and part of that responsibility is keeping my home and daycare clean and as germ free as possible! I have never had a parent refuse to come get their child but I have had a parent say they couldn't come for a few hours. I allowed this as it was nap time anyways and her child slept in a different room. I have worked at places where it was not always easy to leave (ratios had to be met) so I do understand but I do think that if a family chooses home daycare than it is their responsibility to have a couple back ups for emergencies like this.

If it was a common issue with the same parent I would probably ask them to find alternate care but give them a month's notice. It would also depend on the demand though...right now the demand isn't high in my area so I wouldn't want to take the decrease in pay.

[Lou]

Oh I would be furious! And you are a lot nicer than I am! I would not have agreed to let her stay until lunch whether my husband was there or not. If Mom still refused to come, that would have been her last day. I can't believe her nerve!! I actually had to have words with a Mom recently when she made a comment about time off and how they didn't have back up care..I point blank asked her: "So, what made you choose home childcare if you had no back up care?" And she laughed it off, blah blah blah. You HAVE to have back up care, as it's a one woman operation!

[mickyc]

NO WAY! The second a child throws up the parent is called. They must come ASAP. There would be no way I would keep a child until lunch time. I would tell her that next time she comes ASAP or else she can just not return.

[JennJubie]

Yikes... I agree. If someone REFUSED to pick up their kid after they vomited, I would put them on probation for sure. I don't care WHY the child has vomited, I only care that they did. I have it stated in my contract that back up care is their responsibility. I have one dcm who works in a lawyers office, and she's still managed to pick her child up on the two occasions that I've had to phone her! No work place can give a parent heck for leaving to take care of their child.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have to disagree. There are lots of workplaces that don't allow people to leave. Parents are not special and get to take off whenever they please. I used to work in daycare centres and this sorta drove me crazy.......we would phone to have a sick child picked up and if the parent couldn't come for an hour or had to find an alternate person to pick up and it took awhile my coworkers would be livid! However, if one of them got a call to pick up their child from school for the same reason, they were not allowed to leave right away either. We either had to juggle staff and children around or call in a sub because we could not be out of ratio for any amount of time. I also worked in healthcare where this was the same thing, we had a ratio to follow and unless it was a REAL emergency you just couldn't leave whenever. A child puking at dc is not a REAL emergency.

It is annoying though when parents don't have an alternate pick up and I do stress how important a back up is when I am interviewing. If a parent was constantly doing this to me than yes I would ask them to find another dc but I do understand having to wait while they figure out what they are going to do. Sometimes I call a mom but then it's the dad that picks up, sometimes its 5 minutes and sometimes it's an hour. Other than the potential of the child throwing up and making a mess again it's not a matter of life and death and the other children and myself would have been exposed to it already anyways.

I make the child stay in the kitchen with a bowl until their parent picks up. This helps if they end up puking again and this way I can still supervise all the children.

[bright sparks]

While I agree that not everyone can leave work to pick up a sick child at a drop of a hat, it's up to the parent to have provisions in place. This may sound like I don't care, but that's not it at all, I am just being realistic in running my business and doing what is best for me and my daycare children.

I came to Canada 8 years ago and had no back up care. No family, and no friends for quite some time so I get it completely when a parent has no back up. Now I have been doing daycare for 7 years and fortunately the original contract template I used had written in the contract that if a child is sick at daycare, they must be picked up and removed from daycare within 60 minutes. So, upon signing this is discussed and it is up to the parent to let me know whether this is feasible or not depending on the distance to their workplace, their ability to leave work right away or if they have family or friends closer who could collect the child in a pinch. I know the two parents who would not make it within the hour so they have back up to collect their child. If I did not have back up, I would for sure speak to my employer and make them aware of my situation and I can not imagine them arguing it even if they weren't happy about it. I understand in daycare centres that the ratios have to be kept, but that is why with staffing there are always supervisors/managers on shift who are not included in the ratio to allow for breaks and sickness.

It may sound harsh but the problem is not mine but theirs. They need to figure things out, even when it is difficult, and I just need to look out for the health and wellbeing of my household. I am a caregiver not only in my job but it is my personality type and I am just starting to learn to set boundaries. These types of people will take advantage of you over and over again. If you did this once and now don't like it, how do you justify not doing it again. Parent just says "You did it before, so what's the problem?" Does anyone not see a pattern that its always the same awkward parents who try and pull this crap on us. A parent who genuinely had problems with this arrangement would show remorse and what it seems to me in this case is that it was just plain inconvenient and that was the parents number one concern rather than how their child was.

[mickyc]

I always think of it this way - begin how you want to end. If you want a parent to pick up immediately if a child is sick make no exceptions EVER - begin as you want to end.

[mimi]

A child that is throwing up needs constant supervision. This symptom could be the onset of something serious and is also a potential choking hazard. With other children to care for, this would be extremely difficult and unfair to the other children in my care who deserve focused attention and not to be exposed more than they have been to a potential illness. We are not doctors, so we must be vigilant for a worse case scenario when there is a sudden onset of illness.

The child must be picked up within an hour and this responsibility falls on the parents to have made arrangements ahead of time should a pick up call from daycare occurs.

The work place needs to be more accommodating to parents who must leave to attend to their child. What if the parent was throwing up at work? Would they be encouraged to stay?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Bright Sparks, that is a good idea to have a time frame in your contract so parents know upfront that when you mean ASAP you mean it. If they know that leaving their workplace is going to be tricky than maybe your dc isn't the one for them.

You would think that dc centres would have staff working not in ratio but at the last dc I worked at this wasn't the case. If a staff needed to leave for any reason it was pure chaos!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Mimi, I have to say that I disagree (again lol) with the comment "a work place needs to be more accommodating to parents". This will sound harsh but IMO it is just reality. Parents do not deserve to be treated special. If you are a parent and choose to work than it is YOUR responsibility to have a plan for when situations like this arise. It is not up to your workplace to accommodate you and your sick child.

So yes, even though I want a puking child picked up ASAP, I also understand that for some parents it's not so black and white. This is why it is up to me to make sure that during the interview they know how important this is. Thankfully I haven't had any parents who have refused to pick up their sick child.

[Crayola kiddies]

I have a 60 minute time frame from when I call to when the child must be picked up

[mimi]

It is not so much that parents need to be treated special, but when a business hires someone, they have to expect that they might be parents and need that consideration. Just as an expectant mom needs to take time for her dr's appointments, or someone who suffers from migraines may need to take the occasional day off or the person who has a physical handicap needs certain considerations, the work place has to understand that they hire people not machines and should be understanding (of course with in reason) of their employees.
Many company's are already on board with this as they offer job sharing, flex hours and working from home opportunities to name a few.

[monkeymama]

I had this happen to be last year. Dcg arrived under the weather, got worse as the day went off. I called mom and she admitted to doping and dropping and refused to pick up. I called all her alternatives and got grandma to come pick up. Mom came by that week with a cheque and she got notice

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree mimi, all within reason! I have just worked with some parents who felt that because they had children they deserved special treatment and it never sat well with me. They thought that they should get all the early shifts so that they could attend every single sports game, dance recital, etc and that they should get to leave work for a couple hours to attend field trips and track and field days etc.

To those who have a time limit, do you find that parents take that hour to pick up or do they come quickly? For the most part, my parents pick up within 15-30 minutes but I do think having a time frame is a good idea and may consider putting that into my contract. I just don't want parents to think they have an hour to come get their child.

[JennJubie]

5 Little Monkeys, I agree that parents shouldn't have 'special treatment' but as the other ladies have stated I do expect that there is an alternative put in place if the parent cannot pick their child up themselves. If it takes up to an hour for the child to be picked up, I understand that. But I would never be ok with someone REFUSING to pick up their child. This is discussed during my interviews, I expect there to be a back up. One way or another a sick child must be picked up.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree Jen. I do think an hour is enough time to be able to find someone to pick up. A complete refusal to pick up their sick child would for sure get them a strike against them and maybe even an immediate dismissal. Honestly, it would all depend on the bigger picture....if they are a good family in other areas or not.

[Daycare123]

I tell parents that they must have back up care available. If a parent REFUSED to pick up their own sick child, I don't think I would continue childcare for that family. While I get that it is sometimes difficult foe parents to find alternate care, it is necessarry.

[torontokids]

At the daycare centre my daughter attended, they told me I had 3 hours to come and get her.

[JennJubie]

Sometimes it's all in the way that parents speak to us and deal with us. If it's "Well, I can't leave work to pick XXX up so you're just going to have to deal with it", of course we're not going to be ok with that. However, if it's "I'm so sorry, I'm having a really difficult time getting out of work right now, but I'm doing what I can." then we're going to be a little more understanding.