View Full Version : Last straw!?

08-26-2011, 01:22 PM
I'm looking for advice here. I have a 2 year old in care who has become recently a huge handful. Things in the first few months were perfect, the family was great and the child was really well behaved. Soon started hitting, biting and pushing. He's given other kids a black eye. So far we have all managed it no problem, redirect and encourage good behavior etc. It's just getting worse instead of better. Today was a breaking point for me. I literally blinked and he had been smearing poo all over my house. Obviously for health reasons this was a huge disaster. Other toddlers and a baby around. Poo everywhere and him in the bath meant for a not safe situation. I immediately called mom saying he had no spare clothes and I couldn't have this behavior at daycare and I was at my breaking point. She seemed to laugh it off and was mad she would need to leave work to pick him up. Then she tells me he will leave today and they will find other arrangements going forward. I never mentioned termination, simply that the behavior needed to be rectified. No apologizes or anything for this. I donno, now I feel upset for calling her. Was I in the wrong?

Play and Learn
08-26-2011, 01:25 PM
No, you did the right thing. I don't think I would have lasted as long as you have! I would have termed them long ago.

Don't feel upset for calling DCM. What else are you supposed to do? Leave the other kids unsupervised, and bathe LF? I don't think so. With DCM laughing it off, I don't think they're trying very hard to rectify the situation.


08-26-2011, 01:43 PM
For sure you did the right thing! I would have asked DCM to get her ass over here and clean her son's crap off my walls!!!

Similar situation happened to me yesterday....16m old girl wearing a cute lil dress (she always come dressed in only the cutest, best..... blah blah) anyways, no bloomers or underwear on top of her diaper.
Sure enough she has a diaper full of diarrhea and it comes out the bottom. on the carpet, chairs, and her legs, thighs etc.
i text mom saying going fwd she needs to have 2 layers of clothing under a dress or skirt. explained what happened. no apologies nothing, just said "yeah okay, winters coming anyways so she wont be in dresses for much longer". This is not the first time this has happened with her.
Ticks me off that the parents dont respect us even a little bit to express this with a simple "oh no, thats too bad that happened, sorry about your house!".

For that mom to laugh it off!!? omg SEE YA!!!!

08-26-2011, 01:53 PM
So the dad shows up all mad and won't look me in the eyes. He is red and fuming. The dcm tells him I want the child gone so immediately he jumps to say something about it. He says what do you want from me? I said I called because I was looking for support, I think the best course of action is to bring him home today. This shows him this behavior isn't acceptable at daycare. Except the dad said nothing to the child except you were a bad boy and don't do that again. He told me I should have locked him in a room for a time out. He then proceeded to leave not taking the child and said he had to get back to work. Soo, now I'm almost in tears. There is obviously a lot of disrespect here and I'm so sad thinking about terminating because I'm so invested in this child. He really is a lovely kid that I'm attached to but I just think the behavior is forcing me to terminate for other kids safety. Now things are going to be akward, ugh!

Play and Learn
08-26-2011, 02:05 PM

I would have called the parent back, and said that their child needs to go home NOW.

TERM the dumbass parents Immediately. These parents DO NOT respect you one bit.

08-26-2011, 02:09 PM
Lol, it was so tense between us and I just froze! I didn't have the confidence and I just felt like I was in the wrong

08-26-2011, 02:34 PM
I had another talk with dcm and she know understands that I needed the support. She apologized for dad not talking the child. Ugh, well that's everyone I feel better knowing I did have a leg to stand on. Lesson learned, next time child is gone home with parents no question!

08-26-2011, 02:36 PM
Oh my spelling mistakes sorry! On my phone!

08-26-2011, 03:10 PM
I must say; that would have been it for me. Between the increasingly alarming behaviour, the poop smearing (I really think that at the age of 2 that was something he KNEW was wrong. Even my one year olds think poop is "ucky"), mom's reaction when you called and dad's ABSOLUTELY IGNORANT (!!!!!!!) response..... nope, that's enough.
God bless you if you feel like you can continue, but not me. Moving forward, though, I would have little to no tolerance from mom/dad and little man at this point. No apologies, no clear willingness to deal with these issues (I'm sorry; "lock him in a room for a timeout"??? Calling him a bad boy, and that is it??), NO RESPECT for you or the position that you are in ie: poop everywhere and other children to care for.
I hope for your sake that this was a turning point for this family. If not; you deserve better. You are RAISING THESE PEOPLE'S CHILD, for crying out loud!!!
Sorry for all the capitals, I just got really fired up on your behalf reading this story, lol. :eek:

08-26-2011, 07:27 PM
If my child behaved like that at daycare I would expect a phone call to come get him or her, and I would certainly help clean up the mess, apologize profusely, and work on a plan with my provider's input to correct the behaviour because something needs to change.

Locking a child in a room for time out.. Really?? how is that going to fix anything!

If you are willing to keep offering care- kudos to you, you are a better woman and I

08-26-2011, 08:27 PM
I completely agree, if it was my kid I would have raced over there and demanded I help and deal with the situation. After an akward pick up tonight I have decides to move on and look for a replacement. For sure, not putting up with this any longer. All day I research and rack my brain trying to find solutions for this child's behavior, that's the parents job. Not mine.

08-27-2011, 11:18 AM
Good.for you. Parents were completely disrespectful and we don't deserve to be treated like that. Find a replacement and term them.

Good luck.