Pee breaks

[martymonty]

How do you ladies handle pee breaks, specifically children (older ones that are only here after school) and they are peeing every 15-20 minutes. I have 2 girls and they are constantly peeing at my house, they don't do it apparently at home or at school, but it's become a big habit. If one goes in, the other goes in etc. I even had them both pee, then flush as my bill the one month was astronomical and the water company even came to check I did not have a leak. Now the mom has forbid me to let them both pee before flushing and said they must flush each time they go and if they have to go once, twice, or more, than I am to let them. I explained that I have never stopped any child from going to the bathroom, but to go 3 times in just over an hour (each of them) I think is a habit. If neither of them go in on a day, the other does not go in. I do not like the fact she has "forbid" me to do anything. She is always complaining and looking for something and has for years. I'd like to know how peeing came up into their conversation, she must drill these two kids each and every day. What would you do in this instance when you know they are only doing it at daycare.

[bright sparks]

I think that you need to suck this one up. If they need to pee, they need to pee. Perhaps they need to be engaged more so they are preoccupied with something that really holds their attention. Another option is to tell them that there are set times that they can have a bathroom break. I appreciate that you have seen an increase in your water bill but seriously I am just not convinced that it is that dramatic from just a few extra flushes per day. I imagine that you are frustrated more than anything but seriously to restrict a child from going to the bathroom seems like a huge waste of energy. I have way to much to be worrying about before being concerned with how many times a child goes to the bathroom. In fact, I'd be more concerned about their health and the why's of their frequent bathroom visits. If these were my children I would also insist that the toilet be flushed in between children as it just isn't hygienic especially with young children, even girls, who manage to get pee everywhere. You are in charge of what goes on in your house so set some ground rules on when bathroom breaks are and maybe even reduce their intake of fluids to set times too. If they haven't used the bathroom much at school during the day then it makes sense that the frequency in which they go would increase after school. Its not as simple as just getting to your place and having 1 big pee it for sure could be a case of a couple of bathroom visits before the bladder is emptied. If it isn't to do with this and they just go to the bathroom together all the time just because, then remember that it is your house, your rules. If they go together, just don't let them. It would be interesting to know how old the pair are too...also are they siblings?

[Crayola kiddies]

Terminate ! Nobody tells me how often I'm supposed to flush in my house. Well I guess you could always raise their rates to offset the flushing this will probably cause them to leave. The end result is the same and the money you are getting from them is probably not worth it.

[martymonty]

Oh bright sparks I never forbid anyone to go to the bathroom, they are free to go any time they need to, I would never do that. It just seems rather "strange" that when one goes, the other all of a sudden have to go. I have thought about doing bathroom breaks as well, much like they do in school, but not sure this would be agreeable to this mom either. When you say you are not thinking it is making a difference in charges, when the water company came to see if there was a leak as the consumption had been so much higher, they suggested to me to count over a few days how many times the toilet is being flushed. thought to myself, well it couldn't hurt and now I was curious. In a 8.5 hour day the toilet was flushed an average of 27 times. so if you figure that out, that's a lot of peeing for 3 children. I realize this is part of our jobs, but I really believe this is a habit that has formed with these children. They have been checked by the doctor and cleared of anything like bladder infections, urinarty tract infections, etc. I think I was more taken aback at this moms "forbiddance". Some of the responsibility of teaching children things is on the parents. The dad was aware of this issue and told me that there was no reason for them to go that much and even spoke to the children, but obv. did not mention to the mom :(

[bright sparks]

Maybe what would be a good idea then is to not tell the parents how you are handling things. Maybe the response from the mother could have been avoided by just not telling her and I honestly think this is something that doesn't need to be reported to the parents in the future. You know what the parents think and how their attitude is so just deal with it yourself, no need to report every little detail to her. Put them on a schedule and deal with it in your house alone. I think it would be far more productive to work with the girls, and much more helpful to their well being to stick with them and work through this rather than just terminate when things get a little difficult. I appreciate that the mother is completely out of line to forbid what you do in your house, there was for sure a better way she could have handled things while still getting her point across that she wasn't happy with what you were doing. At the end of the day they are her children and she has the right to her opinion on all aspects of the care you provide her children even if you don't like what she says and even if she does have an attitude problem. That being said, aside from making general enquiry into how this translates at home, I don't think its necessary at this point now you have established there are no health issues, to give the mum a play by play of your bathroom routine. Do what works for you and the girls in your house and leave the parents out of it.

[playfelt]

You mentioned they have scheduled pee breaks at school. So it is a novelty at your house to be allowed to go (play/pee) in the bathroom whenever they like. There is no need for it. Kids will make themselves piddle just to go play in the bathroom, flush, play in the water washing hands etc.

I would put them on a schedule at daycare to start. And then as the novelty wears off you can let them go more on their own and chances are they will lose interest in being in there. Never let two people go to the bathroom at the same time - they must take turns in there.

[martymonty]

Oh it was not me who told her, I've been handling it since August with no issues, she must have questioned her children about something like this and it came up. As we all know from doing daycare, don't sweat the small stuff. For me, it was more her attitude and her mannerism when speaking with me that got my back up. It's not that much of a big deal if they flush, but I think I will take your ladies advice and start bathroom breaks and maybe this will solve the issue.

[mimi]

If a child says they have to pee then I take them to the washroom. When it is a regular washroom visit ie before snacks, after lunch etc then, unless someone does a bm, I don't flush until everyone has gone. Besides being cost effective I also just don't like to waste water. The kids don't mind and I certainly wouldn't tell them parents this is how we manage a pee break.
As for forbid, I would ask the parent to choose another word, and then I would address their concern.

[martymonty]

Yes, I agree the parents do not know which leads me to believe that this dcm was definitely asking about everything when she has her children at home. Had issues in the past with her always questioning, then says she wouldn't trust her children with anyone else. I know there are others who do the same thing when it comes to peeing and I guess as far as these kids are concerned I will do it as the mom wants, I just thought the way she handled it was not appropriate. I'm sure she would not like to hear every little thing her children do at times that is not right or proper.

[Crayola kiddies]

These kids are school age and therefore able to articulate .... As the op said she never mentioned it but the kids must have said something .... I too would not allow the kids to go together cause then its less fun!!! Maybe tell them to go as soon as they arrive and then tell them to go an hour later .... Since its after school they really can't be there that long. But it has become a game so shut it down.

[Fun&care]

My son went through this...he was about 4 years old and we never figured out why he did it. Got checked by the doctor and was given an ok. He would go to the washroom every 10-15 mins sometimes, just to get a few drops out. It was weird, and frustrating at times...I would suggest putting them on a schedule. This phased passed within 4-6 weeks if memory serves.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't have school agers but I have an almost 4 year old that copies the younger ones like crazy!! When I send the 2 year old to use the little potty the 4 year old says she needs to go too. I was sending them both at the same time as the 4 year old uses the big toilet but then I caught on she wasn't going, she was just wanting to copy the 2 year old. So now I tell her she has to wait until the 2 year old is finished and out of the washroom before she can go in and I'd say 9x out of 10 she never does end up going in because she never truly needed to go anyways.

I wouldn't forbid a child from going but I would say they can wait 5 minutes. If they truly need to go they will tell you. They are school agers and are capable of holding it for 5 minutes.

[martymonty]

I do want to be clear, I do not let any of the dck go to the bathroom with anyone else, they all go in by themselves and have the door shut behind them for privacy. I do agree it has become a habit as the doctor has told this dcm that nothing is wrong with her children so they should be able to go longer than 20-30 min. without peeing especially after they have gone the first time. bottom line is I do not like the way she handled this at all, I am not a child and have been doing daycare for over 27 years. I know lots of people who have that cute little sign posted on their bathroom walls, if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down. some people have septic systems, wells, etc. I really did not think it was a huge deal to have the two of them go and then flush, but obv. it was to the mom so I won't do it again. just don't like being told how to run "my" business and this is not the first time I've had encounters with this mom.:thumbdown:

[2cuteboys]

I'm sorry, but what a stupid, nit-picky thing for her to complain about. This SCREAMS "I want to complain about something, and this is all I could come up with." It sounds ridiculous, and she sounds like a giant pain in the a**.

I have no advice, but I agree that she's in the wrong for barging in and acting like she can tell you what to do.

[Fun&care]

I do want to be clear, I do not let any of the dck go to the bathroom with anyone else, they all go in by themselves and have the door shut behind them for privacy. I do agree it has become a habit as the doctor has told this dcm that nothing is wrong with her children so they should be able to go longer than 20-30 min. without peeing especially after they have gone the first time. bottom line is I do not like the way she handled this at all, I am not a child and have been doing daycare for over 27 years. I know lots of people who have that cute little sign posted on their bathroom walls, if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down. some people have septic systems, wells, etc. I really did not think it was a huge deal to have the two of them go and then flush, but obv. it was to the mom so I won't do it again. just don't like being told how to run "my" business and this is not the first time I've had encounters with this mom.:thumbdown:

Honestly just don't flush the toilet. She will never know. I am a "if it's yellow keep it mellow"kinda gal...not all the time but sometimes. I don't see the big deal UNLESS you have little ones who like to explore the toilet. She doesn't get to decide whether or not you flush the toilet!

[martymonty]

yeah, wish it was that easy, but she's obviously drilling her kids when she gets home for that to even come up. I have been doing it this way since the summer and now all of a sudden it comes up. she has told them that they are to flush each and every time they go to the washroom so guess if they go tons, it's going to get flushed tons, lol. and I don't mean to sound nit picky, I just seriously do not understand what the big deal is. as kids we always did it this way, our girls were raised that way, they never flushed every time, but hey, not going to argue with her over something like this. just some people, ughhhhhh :(

[kimg]

Try this trick:

http://www.wikihow.com/Convert-Any-Toilet-to-a-Low-Flush-Toilet

The parent's response would really chap my ass as well.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well you don't have to argue with her because you don't work for her .... You run your own business providing a service of which she requires. You make the rules in your house ..... Seems pretty simple to me .

[Crayola kiddies]

Try this trick:

http://www.wikihow.com/Convert-Any-Toilet-to-a-Low-Flush-Toilet

The parent's response would really chap my ass as well.

My father always did this right from when we were wee children but back then he used a brick

[Lou]

It sounds like you're more frustrated with Mom than the girls. I would have an honest conversation with her. Sat "I wanted to address our conversation from the other day regarding flushing the toilet. I want to just make things clear that this is my business that I run out of my home, that I can run how I see fit. When you used the word "forbid", it did not sit well with me at all and I want to be sure that in the future you show more respect for how I choose to run my business and if you have an issue with anything, then feel free to discuss your feelings with me without making orders." Or something along those lines. I do't think you'll feel better until you get it off your chest!

[playfelt]

The reason for flushing the toilet between children is because when the next one goes they splash up the germs in the previous pee. Now having said that too bad - we all go and I flush when we are done. More so that flushing is a time waster and the next one doesn't want to sit as long as the water is running so takes too long for potty breaks if the whole group is doing it. That is likely where mom is coming from. Which is fine but brings it back to not flushing unless they do a full pee and not just a piddle.

[treeholm]

I was taught in science class (albeit many years ago) that urine is sterile...