What's you nap time policy?

[DaycareMiss]

Hello all, I look forward to your suggestions.

Here's the dilemma: a parent has requested that her just turned 3 yr old child be exempt from nap time due to issues at bedtime. I have 3 children full time and one part time. All kids go down at approximately 12:30pm till they wake up (anyone still sleeping gets woke up at 2:45 unless they are under 2 I will not wake them.)
I have tried not putting the child up for nap, each child has own room to rest with a playpen. I'm finding that the without the nap, the afternoon is difficult as I don't get a break & her behaviour deteriorates to the point of crying for no reason/not listening & being rough with the other. She is generally a well behaved child when she gets a rest. How to I break it gently to the parents that I will no longer keep her awake at nap time, that she must go to rest for at least 1 hour before I will go get her. Why do parents think that we should work 10 hours a day without a break only to deal with a tired cranky child for the entire afternoon. I also have a new 11 month old that has started & I have a hard time getting her to sleep especially if another child is running around. I've tried this for the past 4 days and it's not working, I don't want to loose the child but I have to think of everyone including myself.

[treeholm]

My parents know that if their child outgrows a nap, they have outgrown my daycare. All children are in bed, in separate rooms, for two hours. If they are tired, they will sleep. If they don't sleep, they can sing to themselves etc., but I won't keep a child awake. They all sleep...

[Daisy123]

All children under 4 nap at my house. We DO deserve a break! I know personally that without my own down time I get a little cranky too. :laugh: If the children fall asleep then they needed the nap. If they don't fall asleep then fine- but they stay on their mats for an hour before moving on to quiet reading. I had school age kids here for a PA day last week. I put the 4 year olds down to see what would happen and they ALL fell asleep.

[Fun&care]

I've had issues with my daughter no longer needing a nap otherwise taking forever to fall asleep at night so I sympathize with the parents. What I do with my dd is she still has to go to bed for the first hour of naptime and after that she can stay up and watch TV for the remainder. If she falls asleep, I STILL wake her after an hour otherwise it will mess with her routine again. I haven't done this with any other dck yet but I would offer it to parents whose child can't settle at night with the conditions that the child must remain quiet and that I will ONLY let them watch TV and nothing else, so special activities etc. because after all it IS my break time. If you find that she is cranky it could be because she hasn't settled into the new routine yet but at 3 my belief is that many, not all, but many can ditch the nap.

[apples and bananas]

Everyone naps here. I will allow a child to stop napping the summer before they are in school. And when they do that the parents understand that it's very likely they will be placed in front of the tv or possibly with my older children and the computer working on educational games. I need my alone time.

[DaycareMiss]

This is the first time I've ever been asked to cut out the nap time in 5 years. Maybe I just need to develop a spine & tell them that, take it or leave it. Sigh, this stresses me out. I don't like confrontation, it's outside my comfort zone

[AmandaKDT]

My policy is that everyone must have quiet time and lay down. If they are not asleep after 30 minutes I might let an older child get up and then they can watch cartoons until quiet time is over. I have two almost 4 year olds, when they started with me in the spring both parents asked for no nap or a very short nap but at the same time agreed to my quiet time policy. Both of them still fall asleep within 10 minutes everyday and any issues with getting them to sleep at night were resolved long ago. I leave them for atleast an hour and any issues sleeping at home were resolved by their parents and as far as I know they are no longer an issue. There is no way that I would keep kids awake when they really should be having a nap.

So my answer is, they all go for quiet time and if they fall asleep then they obviously need it. I am not going to deny them something they need and deal with grumpy kids just so they will go to bed early when they get home.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I had a parent ask that her 3.5 year old no longer nap because it was disrupting her bedtime. I said sure that's fine. She comes upstairs with me and watches tv, does puzzles, reads books, works on worksheets with me and sometimes falls asleep. I just let her mom know if she had a nap and she pushes bedtime back about 30 minutes.

However, I am sending out a revised contract for the new year and in it, I have asked that all children lay down for 30 minutes so that I have a break and can eat lunch in peace. I wrote that in there because I feel that some parents truly don't get that we don't get a break lol. If she is still awake after that, she can get up and come upstairs with me like we do now.

It is our home and we can make the rules but I am also aware that they are not mine and if their parents request something I will do my best to work with them to find a solution that works for both of us. A 30 minute break plus an 1.5 hours of quiet time with one child is fine by me and it will hopefully be okay with her parents as well.

[Crayola kiddies]

I had a parent tell me their child wouldn't go to sleep at night and that they wanted him to nap from 12 to 1:30 only .... so I tried that one day and it was a nightmare ...the kid was exhausted and didn't like being woken up so he screamed for the rest of the after noon and so from then on I put him down at 11:30 and woke him at 2:30 cause he got picked up at 3. and after the first week I asked the parent how the new nap schedule was working and they said it was perfect.....they were never the wiser.....its all in their head. tell your parent you will wake the child after 60 mins and they may look at books quietly but they must stay in the desiginated area until quiet time is over ....but yes the only time I don't insist on a nap is the summer before a child heads off to school and even then its only for the last three weeks of summer. you will need to be firm

[Sassygirl]

While as the soon to be mom of 5 kiddos I completely understand the parent not wanting sleep issues at night... at the same time I am the firm believer that sleep begets sleep. Meaning, for me personally IME with my own kiddos, on the days they had missed their nap or it was a shorter one that night their sleep was terrible!
I wonder what time this child is being put to bed at night and woken in the morning?
I need that break in the afternoon to clean and sanitize, to eat my lunch and organize my emails/bills/receipts etc., and to just recharge. Its only 1 of us working 10 hour + days we need the break.
I tell ALL my parents that 2 hours in the afternoon is MANDATORY here. They can babble away or sing to themselves etc in their playpens but thats what white noise machines are for LOL.
All my kiddos are toddlers though so its a little different. I wear them out so for most part I get 2-3 hours every afternoon.
Older kiddos up to age 4? I would still keep naptime earlier. We eat lunch at 11 then its nap 12-3. If they are up after 2 I let them get up but for the most part I am waking them all at 3.
I would say mandatory lay down for 1 hour and after 1 hour whether asleep or not let them up for a movie, quiet time and let parents know that they will be on their own while I am on break.
If parents have a problem with this my daycare is not for them.

[Other Mummy]

Same as the rest of you...Nap from 1:00-3:00. Non negotiable. If they've outgrown nap...they've outgrown my daycare as well.

[jammiesandtea]

When parents can't get small children to go to sleep at night, it's not about the nap they had in the afternoon, it's about the parent needing to implement and consistently enforce a proper bedtime routine. Most children will resist sleep and not want to miss out on what everyone else is doing if they are indulged and allowed to get their way when they fuss about it. What's needed is a strict bedtime and a routine of bath, reading a story, or whatever, then lights out and no waffling or negotiating with them. Take control and that is it.

Parents who have bedtime troubles with their kids are not willing or able to take control. That's what it boils down to.

And it shouldn't have to affect YOU negatively by making you work long hours with no break... and it shouldn't affect the child negatively, by making them miss out on sleep that they need, only because their parents aren't willing to step it up and get it done at bedtime.

I'd either put it back on them by explaining exactly that... maybe sugar-coated a little bit, if I cared about keeping them... or I'd fib and let them think the kid didn't nap or only napped what they wanted. It's all in their head and it miraculously improves for them when they think they got their way.

[mickyc]

At my house all children lay down for nap (but my own) but I can totally understand how at around 3.5 it doesn't always work. My daughter is 3.5 and we were doing nap every 2nd day for awhile and now she is to the point of no naps. She sits upstairs and watches a movie on her DVD player. I did have a daycare boy who was 4 who wouldn't sleep and was disruptive in the nap room. We switched to nap every 2nd day. It helped. I currently have a daycare girl who doesn't fall asleep but she does lay in bed for the whole 2.5 hours. She is 4 and I have been waiting for her mom to say something about cutting out naps but she hasn't yet. I certainly am not going to. I imagine for summer I will have to before she goes to school. I wouldn't mind a child over 3 being up for naptime providing they can sit on the couch quietly for the whole 2.5 hours and watch TV. Children under 3 must nap!

[momofnerds]

I could have written the exact same post with the exact same child. The problem I have is that they want the child in bed at 730 for their own quiet time thats why they don't want me to nap them. so by the time they are picked up from my house the parents have spent only 2.5 hours with their own child compared to the 10 hours I do. At 3.5 yrs old I would cut nap as most start to go to school, but not at 3 yrs old.

personally I wouldn't say anything, I know some won't agree but its just easier this way and parents sometimes just don't get it.

[momofnerds]

oh I forgot to add, apparently on the weekend the child takes a nap because its too much for them to deal with, but apparently I'm suppose to just deal with a cranky child.

[mickyc]

there is nothing more annoying than a parent who wants you to not nap their child but puts them to bed so early. My daughter quit naps at 3 but she still goes to bed between 8:30-9 at night and gets up at 7am. She has never been one to need sleep. I don't understand how a child can go to bed at 7:30 or earlier at night. I guess I just never had a child who needed that much sleep but I think if a child needs to go to bed that early then they certainly need a nap during the day.

[AcornsFalling]

Your dcp has a lot of nerve to expect you to cut nap time but then she doesn't!
It is my policy that all children are expected to have a quiet time from 12:30-3:00. Children who are no longer napping are expected to lay down quietly on the couch and watch tv for approx one hour as this provides a restful break during our very active day, and provides lunch and prep time for the care provider. Parents sign off on this as part of my contract.
If they are tired, they will fall asleep on the couch. This is what I began with my daughter when she was about 3.5, as we were having more and more trouble getting her to sleep before 8:30-9:00. Believe me I wanted to keep her napping, as she gladly would have, as it provided me a break with my newborn son! But the evenings were getting too late. This has worked very well for her and provides opportunity to rest when needed. I plan on implementing this same plan with other children. I don't mind them on the couch resting. If they don't stay down and rest, I would put them in a playpen to nap. If they don't like that, they will soon learn to stay quiet and lie down on the couch.

[Secondtimearound]

My full time dcks nap from 1-3 ! I have a part time dcb who is 3 and only comes 2 days a week . He can be picked up anywhere from 12-3 . So I do not nap him but oh my is it a dance !! I tried toys , he is so loud , I have tried tv , he is never still !! So each day he comes I do not get a break until he leaves .

[Crayola kiddies]

My full time dcks nap from 1-3 ! I have a part time dcb who is 3 and only comes 2 days a week . He can be picked up anywhere from 12-3 . So I do not nap him but oh my is it a dance !! I tried toys , he is so loud , I have tried tv , he is never still !! So each day he comes I do not get a break until he leaves .

What ????? In my contract it states that there is to be no pick up between 12-3 as it is quiet time..... I also would not allow such an open ended pick up time .... I would tell the parent they can pick up at 12 and if they are not there by 12 then dont come till 3.... Don't knock or ring the bell anytime between 12:01 and 2:59...... Simple !

[mickyc]

I agree with Crayola Kiddies. No pickup between 12:30 and 3. I had 1 boy getting picked up at 12:30 and mom kept getting later and later and wasn't getting here until around 1 - 1:30 every time. I told her to just come after 3 as it was disruptive to the others (her boy would be quiet until his mom showed up) and he was getting out of routine as that was supposed to be his nap time (he is 17 months). As much as I preferred to have less kids during nap I prefer having my time begin at 12:45 much more. I would also tell your parent not to come until after nap is over.

I am closing early on Christmas eve and new years eve (at 3). I have already posted that there are to be no pickups between 12:30 and 2:30 and that I would be waking kids up at 2:30 for pickup before 3. So they either come before 12:30 or between 2:30 and 3.

[5 Little Monkeys]

What if a parent needs to leave town or has an appointment that the child has to go too. Or what if they just want to pick up their child early and spend time with them or a family member is in town and wants to visit? What if the parent leaves work sick and doesn't want to come back out to pick up their child so they pick up on their way home?

I can not imagine telling a parent they couldn't pick up their child when they wanted. I totally understand it is nap time. I have a sign on my door saying not to ring the doorbell between 1 and 3. This is their children and if they want to pick up early I am not going to stop them. They all text me if they are going to pick up between those times so I know they are coming. I know we all do daycare differently but I would never tell a parent when they can and can't pick up their own child. Almost daily I have a child leave between 1215 and 1. One parent ends work every other day early and one parent has to take their child to preschool. I know the schedules ahead of time though and I arrange my lunch/nap routine around that. Pick up during naptime isn't my favourite but it's also not the end of the world for me and I would never not allow it.

**I should also mention that I am a firm believer that it doesn't need to be absolutely silent during quiet time. I do try to be quieter of course but I am not one of those people that make no noise just because a child is sleeping. They need to learn how to sleep during noise and all of them sleep through the pick ups great because of this.

[momofnerds]

I require that if they need to be picked up early that they call me this way I can have the child ready. I don't like disruption at nap time either, acually its rare as most of my parents are at work and are happy to have me watch their kids even on their days off.

[Fun&care]

When parents can't get small children to go to sleep at night, it's not about the nap they had in the afternoon, it's about the parent needing to implement and consistently enforce a proper bedtime routine. Most children will resist sleep and not want to miss out on what everyone else is doing if they are indulged and allowed to get their way when they fuss about it. What's needed is a strict bedtime and a routine of bath, reading a story, or whatever, then lights out and no waffling or negotiating with them. Take control and that is it.

Parents who have bedtime troubles with their kids are not willing or able to take control. That's what it boils down to.

And it shouldn't have to affect YOU negatively by making you work long hours with no break... and it shouldn't affect the child negatively, by making them miss out on sleep that they need, only because their parents aren't willing to step it up and get it done at bedtime.

I'd either put it back on them by explaining exactly that... maybe sugar-coated a little bit, if I cared about keeping them... or I'd fib and let them think the kid didn't nap or only napped what they wanted. It's all in their head and it miraculously improves for them when they think they got their way.

That's not fair that you assume they are bad parents. Not fair at all. For me, I tried everything I could think of with my dd thinking it would pass, it was just a phase and that we would figure it out but nothing worked. She was 2 1/2 when sleep troubles started and after 3-4 months I gave up. She falls asleep maybe 1-2 per week when she needs it but that's it. Yes it sucks to give up our break but it's not fair to just blame it on poor parenting. You don't know what goes on at home for these kids.

[dodge__driver11]

For me and my dck's All the kids are quiet/napping from 12:30-3. It is just the way it is. When ds is home from school he knows that these are the rules for him too. And if he falls asleep he still starts his bed time routine at 8 pm, even on Saturdays and Sunday's (the bed time at 8)

I do not allow parents to pick up without a phone call, my door comes right to my living room area, where some kids are sleeping ---I will have them dressed and ready to go, this is only allowed if a child has a medical apt or something urgent. Otherwise no pick ups or drop offs from 11:00-3:30. (I don't want meal time to be interrupted either)

As for it having nothing to do with bad parenting I agree somewhat. My child grew out of nap time starting at 4, but he certainly knows what the expectations are; and that if they are not met then there is consequence. (Not saying that others give none, just what works for me) I feel it all comes down to clear expectations that are age appropriate for the child.

Also, I wanted to address the "no noise thing" I make noise while the kids are resting.... I often do dishes, check the mail, watch tv, etc.... But most times the parents come in letting the door slam behind them, sitting there chatting about whatever, and that's what wakes the kids up. So that is why I have a no pick up policy during rest.

[Artsand crafts]

My child grew put of nap time starting at 4, but he certainly knows what the expectations are

Same here. Dck and my son know what the expectations are and they lay down for quite time or nap time. My son was not a great sleeper and there was a time (before 18mo) when he was having a nap strike, but it went away since I was firm. At 2.5yo he now lays down for nap time (he rarely stays awake during nap time)and he goes to bed at the same time every day.

I also have the same policy of avoiding pick up between 12 to 3 pm. I need a break. In my case, I feel in much better mood and energized to take care of my son and dck if I have a break everyday from 10hr work. I think my patience would run thin if I have to work 10 hr straight looking after cranky kids whose parents don't want them to nap or have some quiet time to unwind.

[Crayola kiddies]

What if a parent needs to leave town or has an appointment that the child has to go too. Or what if they just want to pick up their child early and spend time with them or a family member is in town and wants to visit? What if the parent leaves work sick and doesn't want to come back out to pick up their child so they pick up on their way home?

I can not imagine telling a parent they couldn't pick up their child when they wanted. I totally understand it is nap time. I have a sign on my door saying not to ring the doorbell between 1 and 3. This is their children and if they want to pick up early I am not going to stop them. They all text me if they are going to pick up between those times so I know they are coming. I know we all do daycare differently but I would never tell a parent when they can and can't pick up their own child. Almost daily I have a child leave between 1215 and 1. One parent ends work every other day early and one parent has to take their child to preschool. I know the schedules ahead of time though and I arrange my lunch/nap routine around that. Pick up during naptime isn't my favourite but it's also not the end of the world for me and I would never not allow it.

**I should also mention that I am a firm believer that it doesn't need to be absolutely silent during quiet time. I do try to be quieter of course but I am not one of those people that make no noise just because a child is sleeping. They need to learn how to sleep during noise and all of them sleep through the pick ups great because of this.

Well I can because when a parent comes to pick up a child in the middle of nap time that means that the child is not napping when he should be and there are children napping in various parts of the house including the playroom which is where parents enter and exit from... And generally when a parent comes the child is excited and tells "mommmmmmyyyyyyyy" and therefore wakes up the other children .... Why should the other children suffer because one parent can't arrange their time accordingly.... If a parent gets off work early go grocery shopping or run errands then when you pick up all your time is free to spend with the child

[playfelt]

There is a big difference between the occasional need to pick up to take a child to an appointment or because the parents has an unexpected day off work and calls ahead. I do ask all of my parents to call ahead and let me know if there will be a change so that I can prepare everyone as children thrive on routine. Going to sleep beside your best friend only to wake and find them gone can be unnerving.

If a parent required routine pick up during naptime I would not sign them on because that is not fair to the child needing to be picked up because they would need to sleep in an area by themselves nor is it fair to the other children to always have me rummaging around in their sleep room getting a child up who may start to cry if they are woke up.

If a child is sleeping then they need the rest and whether the parent is off work or not doesn't matter because if they had kept child at home for the day the child would still be asleep at this hour so there is no loss of interaction time by asking the parent to go home, get changed, start dinner, get the groceries, whatever they want and then come to get the child but come at 3:00 right after nap and take child for a fun snacktime rather than their usual pick up of 4:30.

It isn't about denying a parent the right to have access to their child. It is about not allowing the parent to have access to the other children in the sense of waking them up and them being cranky. Often when you turn it around and say ok just remember that if I let you do this that XXX's mom or dad can do the same thing and then instead of your nicely mannered fun to be with child going home it will be a whiney cranky didn't get a full solid sleep in the afternoon child that I am sending home with you. This is group care and as such we have a responsibility to all of the children and their families to do right by them all and for me that means naptime is sacred and no one disturbs us.

[daycarewhisperer]

I don't provide service to children who don't need a FULL afternoon nap. I base my rates on having non direct care from 12:15 to 2:45. If I have direct care during that time I would have to hire it out. This would cost me about 25$ a day. If the parent wants direct care (child not sleeping) they are welcome to pay this fee in addition to the cost of the slot.

If a parent wants a pick up.during that time they must text me five minutes out and I will wake the child and scoot them.out the door. I do not offer parent conferencing during nap. I also NEVER keep a child up for a nap time pick up. I don't do five minutes. If they are under my roof they go down at 1215. I had parents declare an early pick up and show up lateR than they say or even later than normal pick up.

[someone]

I have recently come across this issue as well. I now call my nap time a "quiet time". Each of my children have their own space to sleep and my 3 year old who the parents don't want to sleep, is in her own room laying down, but with tree house on very quietly. This way, the tv is on so that it can occupy her if she is awake, but not to loud for the other children. However if she needs a nap she also tends to doze. I have discussed this with my daycare parents, and they are ok with this policy/comprimise. The only time there is any difference is when it is a PA day and I have my older children home, then they get to play on the computer quietly...the keyword being quietly. 12:45pm until 2:45pm at my home is QUIET time, no if's, and's or but's.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I guess I am just the odd one out. I think maybe I am more laid back than some lol. It works for me and my dc and pickup during naptime doesn't disrupt the other children sleeping. It does disrupt my "kid free" break by a bit but most jobs get at the most, an hour and 2 15 minute breaks. I don't feel that I need a 3 hour break so if a parent wants to pick up earlier that is fine by me....means my afternoon is less work and usually the day ends earlier which I will take any day over a non-pick up nap time :)

I understand why other's may feel they need to do it, I just don't find it necessary for me. If it was happening a lot and they were disrupting the other's than I would consider changing my policy but most likely would just address it with that one parent instead of denying nap time pick up to all of them.

There was a thread the other day about parents still sending their child to dc when they are on a day off and some felt that if they are paying us they can do what they want. I don't think it's fair to tell them they can do errands while their child is sleeping and pick up after. It's their time off and if they want their child, by all means have them! haha(I am all for parents spending more time with their children!!) Say it in whatever words you want, it is denying access to their child. However, if it's in your policy and the parents agree to it, than all is good!

[AcornsFalling]

I am in agreement with 5 little monkeys. I care for four children and one often gets picked up during the latter part of nap time. He is 12 months and naps twice still so cutting the afternoon nap a bit short is not a huge deal. His mom always texts me when she is close so I can wake him up, do a quick diaper change, and have his coat on ready to scoot out the door. I don't chat at the door so it's quick. He often wakes up earlier than the older, one nap a day children, so I don't mind if he's gone when he would probably be up. I also have my four year old who doesn't nap anymore, so I am used to having only about an hour to myself anyways.

[Lou]

My policy is that children MUST rest quietly on their bed for at least one hour. I have one 3 yrs old who was keeping his parents up late when he was sleeping from 1-3 (our typical nap time), so I have been waking him up from his rest after one hour of care at which point he comes up and I put a movie on for him. He doesn't make a peep for the second hour so it's not a problem. If he was disruptive, loud or asked me a billion questions while I was trying to relax, lol, it wouldn't work out and he would stay resting but in this case it works well for both myself and his parents. Win win.

[mom-in-alberta]

Quiet time at my house is not negotiable. After lunch, for at least 2 hours. It is usually from 12;45 until 3. If a parent was asking to cut out nap for an under 3 year old, the most I would be willing to do is wake them up earlier. They still nap, because they still NEED to nap. Past the age of 3, I still require them to lay down and rest for an hour. After that, they may get up and play QUIETLY with a variety of quiet activities I have out for them. I only have one 4 year old that will not sleep. She picks a movie and lays down quietly. The others still fall asleep.
We talk all the time about how resting our bodies helps us to grow.

And I might lose my shizzle if a parent ever questioned me on the need for a 2 hour "break". Most days I am trying to frantically finish cleaning/prepping/planning for the daycare in the final minutes of quiet time!!