Rewards board Good idea or not

[Mommy]

Hello everyone. Ok so here's the long story. I had an almost 3 year old start care with me a month and a half ago. She was here three weeks then off a couple then back now for almost two weeks due to Christmas holidays. The first three weeks went ok. She napped well, asked to eat every half hour but I just said not you have to wait till snack or lunch depending what time it was. Otherwise not bad. Her parents at the interview said she's very well behaved and plays well woth others. So I was excited. She would some mornings come throwing a fit cause her dad made her wear mitts but she was good with me so I didn't think much of it. She came back a week and a half ago completely different. All of a sudden she didn't want to nap. Starting crying and screaming. Eventually falling asleep. But waking up others in the process. Her parents said shed been giving them troubles with naps for a while which doesn't add up to what they said in the interview. Anyways, each day she's getting worse, whinnier, argues with me on everything and cries longer at nap. It's exhausting. Nap time is my only break in a ten hour day.

So her parents asked me to do this rewards token program. She gets to choose a reward which on their list includes, Oreos, candy, chocolate, cookies, chips. After five tokens she gets her reward. I'm worried about how it will affect my kids and the other daycare kids when they see one child getting cookies chip and candies for behaving the way she should be and all they get are hugs kisses, praise and cheer. Any thoughts? Is this too much to ask. She doesn't play well with the other kids either. But we love the parents. Ugh.

[Daisy123]

If you feel that a reward system will help then go for it but I would never use food as a reward. Maybe she can have first choice of a favourite toy or use stickers. Eventually up the ante. Start with a sticker for example if she's quiet at nap. If that works then a sticker when she's quiet at nap PLUS behaves during snack and so on. If I use this method I will eventually stop with the reward saying "You're so big now you don't even need it!" make a big deal with praise instead so she builds up a sense of internal gratification instead of relying on a physical reward. I wonder if anythings different at home to cause the change? Are they still napping her at home?

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with Daisy. I would also suggest, if you do not want to give the reward at dc, that you ask the parents to do it at home? You can tell them at the end of the day if her behaviour was good or not. It's not ideal but it could be an option.

I would likely do the reward chart here but with stickers or that child gets to pick what book we read first or something else similar. I don't use food as a reward either.

[Mommy]

See I mentioned stickers but they said it doesn't work. They use food at home so they want food here. I see it causing issues with the other kids already. Their asking where their chips and Oreos are

[Crayola kiddies]

I would say no to those types of food and using food in general ....I guess you have to decide if the money they are paying you is worth the aggrevation and disruption in your day and the other children's day as this behaviour will run off on them. Do you NEED this family ? Can you make your bills with out them? Because I would tell the parents that this behaviour is unacceptable and you will not bribe her with food .... There are rules that all children must follow and if she can't follow them they need to source out new care. Give them a time line in which you need to see improvement.... And start advertising for a replacement !!!!!!

[mickyc]

I do not use the reward system at daycare. I did have 1 mom wrap small toys and bring them when her daughter was potty training. She didn't even ask me. I just left them in her bag. I think she got the hint. I can't give one child a reward and the others who have doing it all along nothing. That makes no sense!! Parents have to realize that these things are fine at home when it is just their child but here everyone is equal. They all get the same treatment.

I don't allow back talking, bad behaviour, tantrums etc. I start off very firm with a child and there is no room for negotiations. It sounds to me like the child is testing you.

If the parents want to give rewards at the end of the day for good daycare behaviour that is up to them but it isn't something that should be done at daycare.

[AmandaKDT]

Is it just perhaps that she is transitioning out of needing a nap, she is tired but not enough to fall asleep? My older daughter stops napping regularly before she turned three and nap time became really rough because she was tired, but not enough to sleep. Then if she finally did nap, she would have trouble falling asleep at night. So her behaviour was not always so pleasant because she was tired and moody (though she wouldn't sleep, which was frustrating). Your dcg may have only been giving trouble at nap time at home first because it isn't usually as busy a day at home.

I am currently using a reward chart for my almost 4 year old, though I don't use food. He earns stickers, then after 10 stickers he gets a rewards that is a fun activity for everybody. The only was food rewards would be fair is if you gave them to all the kids every time, which I wouldn't want to be doing on a regular basis. His behaviour has mostly to do with how he behaves with his mom at drop off and pick up, I couldn't take watching it anymore so I suggested a reward chart. Happily mom was fine with it, she was really struggling. I has been working well for us here.

[Mommy]

Thanks that's what I was thinking.

[Mike]

I wouldn't give food as a reward simply because food is a basic necessity. I've helped a couple others with making changes by making a sticker chart for them and tell them to ask the child what he/she would like to earn and go from there. For daycare, if the reward is something that can be given to all children, great, otherwise let the parents give the reward once earned.

[playfelt]

Just as I would for potty training if a parent wanted to use the reward system is that they get a token or something at daycare, a mark on a chart whatever to show to parent who then rewards accordingly at home. That way there is no ill feelings at daycare and I am an anti reward for potty type so this way I can satisfy both me and the parent. If the reward chart is at the request of the parent then I would do the recording at daycare but then she takes her report home for the receiving of the rewards. It also gives instant gratification as well as delayed gratification with the delayed getting the better reward so teaches that as well.