Aw, boo. :( I need to let a family go....

[mom-in-alberta]

Ugh. This is a little bit of a vent, followed by a request for your seasoned advice.

I have dealt with many issues over the last 3 1/2 (almost 4) years of being a provider. But I have not, until now, actually had to let someone go. On occasion I have bided my time, because I knew that a family was on their way out. LoL
I have a particular family that has been with me since August, on a part time basis. Literally from day one, it has always been something. In no particular order, we have had payment issues, behavioural issues, toilet training issues, and so on. Once we get one thing straightened out, another comes up. I have been more than clear about my expectations around payment. I need to know what our arrangement is, in advance, and you need to abide by it. YOU cannot tell ME what and when you will be paying. If there is an issue, we need to discuss it.
I have literally had one month in which I did not have to accept altered payment arrangements. And in that month, I was dealing with unruly behaviours from the child. My "last straw" came this weekend. Payment was due on the first, but not given to me on Friday. (pickup time was a little hectic that day, so I forgot to ask in person) I contacted them on Sunday to let them know that I was making my deposit, and needed to have a cheque dropped off. I offered to come by if that was easier. Then, and only then, I was told that payment was going to be a week late. Grrrrrr.
The kicker for me? Mom has some nice new boots, and pretty (recently done) acrylic nails. :mad:
I have discussed this over and over with my husband. We both think that this is just the type of family that will always push to see how far they can go. It is clear to me that other payments are more "important" than childcare, and they always will be. Hubby said to me the other day "She has shown you who she is. If you get screwed over by them, it's sort of your fault at this point". That sounds super harsh, but I took his meaning. I have been very understanding, but at the same time clear with what I need from them. I still have not seen that they value that.

*sigh* Thanks, that feels better. ;)

SO: do you tell them WHY you are letting them go? I mean specifically? I honestly don't think it will go over well. I think they will get defensive and angry. And that doesn't bode well for the last 30 days of care that I am assuming will be required.
I have tossed around the idea of using a more general excuse for giving them notice. I am not sure how I would properly express "Your family is a headache for me, and I dread the days your child is here." LoL
What would you do??

[giraffe]

I don't think you need to be specific. I would write up a general term letter stating that they will have to find alternate care because of late payments and that their.last day will be on.... I would also have a list of late payments ready for them incase they ask for it. If you do decide to give them two weeks then make sure you have payments for those two weeks in advance.

[2cuteboys]

I agree with giraffe, don't be specific, maybe "due to a number of issues..." And be prepared for them to not show up at the beginning of next month and not pay you, just in case.

I like they way your husband put it. I'm like you, I think we put up with a lot, but in the event that we lose money, we'd look back and say "I should have known they'd do something like this." Good for you for realizing it before it happened!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't mean this to sound harsh but in a way, yes they have been telling you when they will pay you and because it's been accepted they think it's okay and have continued to do so.

In my contract and on my payment schedule that every parent gets, it is clearly stated that if payment is late, they will have to find alternate care. I do not provide unpaid care so their bill has to be paid or else their child is not allowed here.

I have never had to let a family go either but if I do, yes I would be honest and tell them why.

[Crayola kiddies]

I would say " due to ongoing(or chronic) payment issues and a general air of disrespect towards myself and my business I will no longer be providing care for xxxxx. The last day of available care will be xxxxx. Please note that all fees are due up to and including the last day of care regardless of attendance. I wish you all the best in the future. Sincerely the best daycare provider you just lost" Hopefully you have a deposit for when they try to jack you.

[mimi]

I would give them one reason why you are terminating them ie not following daycare policy regarding payments and I would not get into a discussion about it. I would just keep it straight forward and simple. You do not have to convince them you are justified in your decision. This is your business and you want to end the business relationship. You will not convert these people into considerate people who pay on time. They have made it clear they do not respect you.

[Artsand crafts]

I currently have a mom that has tried not to pay in time. First time she asked if she could pay a week later. To which I said NO and she paid in time. Second time she did not pay on Friday and Monday was a holiday. So I forgot about the payment and on Monday night I remembered she did not pay. So I contacted her and I gave her the option of paying on Monday and paying $90 of late payment fee (I charge $30/hr late payment fee) or paying on Tuesday BEFORE drop off with a late payment fee of $120. She showed up on Tuesday first time in the morning with daycare fee plus $120. Third time she said her husband was not paid to what I said that I was sorry, but she needed to pay or late payment fee should be done BEFORE drop off. So, she choose to pay .

I do not have the luxury of terming people. I really wish sometimes I did, but I live in an area where the few home daycare providers we are here struggle to get new clients. So instead of terming I MADE THEM pay before any care is provided. No pay, no care. Even I value the clients I have I was ready to term if she did not pay before drop off. I refuse to work for free.

[mickyc]

Never ever would I not get paid. I do not allow kids back to daycare until payment has been made. I charge $15 late fee (beginning Friday at noon as payment is due in the morning Fridays). I have had a family try and skip out without paying me 2 weeks notice. I ended up getting my money. I just had to charge a mom the late fee for not paying until the end of the day on Friday (she wasn't happy). Not my problem! I get my pay or they go elsewhere.

[Lou]

I'm sorry some parents have to be such d-bags :( Term them, they are not worth the headache...and DEFINITELY tell them why in a short, professional manner as the other ladies suggested. I'm interested to see how this goes over, just hold your ground, it's their fault and their loss!

[mom-in-alberta]

I know... I know... I know. LoL
It is absolutely my fault for allowing it to happen, at all. I was understanding at first, and then, I will admit- I was a pushover. I did give them an ultimatum when this occurred in December that I would NOT be able to accept the child until payment was made. Funnily enough, they found a way to make it happen. o_O
So when I received this last message, frankly; I. was. done.
That is why I didn't address it.
Mom is a teacher, she will only need care until end of June. I tried to decide if it was worth it to wait it out, but it's not. I breathe a sigh of relief when this child is not here. That can't be good. And it's not "settling in". 5 months is plenty long to settle in, even on a part time schedule.
Thanks all. I will draft up a note, and run it by y'all if I have the time.
Cheers! Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!! :D

[5 Little Monkeys]

It is easy for all of us to say "well you should have_______" but to be honest, it can easily happen because we do form relationships with the families. I try to keep it business with no emotions when it comes to some issues but it does happen!! Lesson learned :)

Hope you have a great Friday!!!

[Secondtimearound]

I hate payday amnesia !!!!! I sometimes wish I could just hand out a note , on Friday night saying ", it's been nice working with your family , since payment has not been paid I have filled your spot in my dayhome , "
But in reality I'm texting little reminders !!!!! Ugh tiring !!!
My advice is this , do the best for your family !!!
I have put up with more than I needed to and when I stuck to my guns the family left , I was ok with it as I realized that was a possibility when I confronted them ( they wanted to subtract Christmas Day and Boxing Day and I charge a flat rate )
Life went on , new families start , it's hard to confront and quit but in my experience you will be glad when you do !!!

[gravy_train]

Sounds like you know what you need to do mom-in-alberta! I think if it was me I would say why you are unable to provide care for them. Not paying on time is a huge slap in the face and you don't deserve that! You are taking care of what is supposed to be their most precious asset - their child - and to not pay you on time is a sign of how little they value you (but you already know this, I'm just getting fired up!). I would be upfront and tell them that you can't provide care for a family who doesn't value you enough to pay you on time. And i would give them 2 weeks to find another arrangement, provided they pay you upfront. If you aren't firm about this they will try to take advantage of you again.