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ttremble88
02-19-2014, 10:12 AM
So I have this 13 month old that will ONLY eat Cheerios. I serve a WIDE variety of lunches with at least 3 options per meal (all of which I expect to be eaten). However, this child will only eat Cherrios for every meal. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack. His mom supplies the box of cereal, as I normally do not have specific cereals on hand. But I WANT him to eat what I serve. He is very little to begin with.

Today I tried to serve shredded roast beef with gravy (last nights dinner), roasted potatoes, grape tomatoes and barlett pears. He SCREAMED for about 10 minutes until I poured cheerios onto his highchair and he downed them.

His mom does not seem concerned and openly said that she is fine if he only eats Cherrios all day (5:45am-4:45pm). What should I do? Should I even continue to waste food by serving it to him? Should I take away the Cheerios completely? Should I offer just a small option of the real lunch?

I have done ALL of the above by the way, just not sure which method I should stick with.

Sassygirl
02-19-2014, 10:35 AM
I had one like that last July. She was my screamer who I couldn't put down or leave the room. She lasted a month, parents got their notice at the 2 week point.

This kid was sent (14 months old BTW) with cheerios, goldfish crackers, and arrowroot cookies as well as pureed fruit packages. I accomodated to her fussy appetite the first week to help her settle in here. After the first week she was given what everyone else was eating or she didn't eat. Well, she didn't eat. I would tell her mom at pickup that she wasnt' eating anything I offered her. Mom was fine with her only nibbling and having the cheerios, goldfish and arrowroot cookies. I was NOT. The other little ones began pointing at her "food" and wanting it themselves. She lasted another 2 weeks in my care. She is clearly being babied and catered to at home and parents clearly were not working on her independence as I was being told.

This is not a good habit to get into. How long has she been with you?

ttremble88
02-19-2014, 10:44 AM
I had one like that last July. She was my screamer who I couldn't put down or leave the room. She lasted a month, parents got their notice at the 2 week point.

This kid was sent (14 months old BTW) with cheerios, goldfish crackers, and arrowroot cookies as well as pureed fruit packages. I accomodated to her fussy appetite the first week to help her settle in here. After the first week she was given what everyone else was eating or she didn't eat. Well, she didn't eat. I would tell her mom at pickup that she wasnt' eating anything I offered her. Mom was fine with her only nibbling and having the cheerios, goldfish and arrowroot cookies. I was NOT. The other little ones began pointing at her "food" and wanting it themselves. She lasted another 2 weeks in my care. She is clearly being babied and catered to at home and parents clearly were not working on her independence as I was being told.

This is not a good habit to get into. How long has she been with you?

He has been with me for just over a week. He is also my screamer, with the same situation, screaming when I leave the room or take a step away. However, he is slowly getting better in that regard. He mom said that he is the same way at home, follows her and is constantly by her side.

This is the little boy whos father just pasted away. So I feel for the mother. I am trying my best to get this little guy set, settled and into routine as I imagine his home life is completely upside down at the moment. That being said, it seems normal for him to only eat cereal.

bright sparks
02-19-2014, 10:49 AM
I think you should remove the cheerios COMPLETELY. I think you should also have a very frank conversation with the parents on the plan of action and try to get them on board with removing cheerios from their house altogether. I hazard a guess, a pretty confident one at that, that the parents are catering to him and that is where the problem lies. It is going to be very difficult to break but not nearly as difficult as if you wait to take control of this and try when the child is 18mths or 2yrs. The child knows with absolute certainty that if they scream long enough they will get what they want. A strong willed child will probably hold out for a good day or two fighting you and the parents before they break and try other things, maybe even longer. Ultimately it will probably take a few naptimes and bedtimes with an empty stomach before he realizes that the grown ups aren't playing this game anymore. Can you spoon feed? I totally get that at this age they should be more independent and you are busy with the others, but if the child were able to at least taste something else on a regular basis, even if they don't have more than a spoonful, it may help. It's like the child needs to be weaned again.

This parent is okay with you feeding them cheerios all day because THEY ARE LAZY! They don't want to deal with being the PARENT as the child is to demanding and challenging so as a result they have given in to the childs mealtime demands and have a child who is ruling the roost. If every adult who cares for this child NEVER EVER EVER, gave in to the "cheerio screaming" I am very confident that in a week or two there would be some changes in this boys diet. It is our job as caregivers to cater to the childs needs not wants. I would offer 2-3 tbsp. of food per meal or snack time so there is less waste and have some reserves in case he eats and wants more. NO CHEERIOS. If you want him to eat, take back control and have the parents on board by telling them as it is. Otherwise you will likely be fighting a losing battle.

bright sparks
02-19-2014, 10:52 AM
Okay, after reading your last post I feel like a complete ass for the "LAZY" comment. For obvious reasons this child has probably been allowed to get his own way as mum has been trying to cope with the recent loss, which is totally understandable. That being said, it still needs to be addressed and she still needs to get the cheerios out of the house and just deal with it asap and then he will no doubt settle better into daycare too. Apologies if I came off as insensitive. That's what can happen sometimes when significant pieces of info are not given.

Lee-Bee
02-19-2014, 10:56 AM
With the passing of his father recently I would be more lenient with him as his world has been shook up pretty good.

Have you tried serving your food then sprinkling cheerios on top of the food with him watching? Maybe it will be enough to get him eating other foods.

ttremble88
02-19-2014, 11:07 AM
Okay, after reading your last post I feel like a complete ass for the "LAZY" comment. For obvious reasons this child has probably been allowed to get his own way as mum has been trying to cope with the recent loss, which is totally understandable. That being said, it still needs to be addressed and she still needs to get the cheerios out of the house and just deal with it asap and then he will no doubt settle better into daycare too. Apologies if I came off as insensitive. That's what can happen sometimes when significant pieces of info are not given.

No worries. That is why I mentioned it in the response comment. But to be completely honest, the 3 days that I served him lunch before his father passed (and had been out of daycare for 1.5 months) he would not eat lunch here. However, he was not supplied Cheerios, so he was just hungry. On his first day back to daycare, last week, Cheerios were not brought into the picture until I mentioned to his mom that he took all of his food and put it into the pile on the highchair.

Yes, I have tried spoon feeding him. But he shuts him mouth tightly and buries his head into the side of the highchair. He is more then capable of finger foods, as he downs the cereal.

I have NOT tried sprinkling his food with the cereal. But I imagine, that he will just pick them out.

Sassygirl
02-19-2014, 11:12 AM
I think that you need to help this little guy. By continuing on with this he is going to have nothing but food issues later on. He is young enough that after a few days he will give in and realize he needs to eat what he is being offered or he goes hungry.

Talk to mom, say you understand that there has been a huge loss in their family and that she is doing the best that she can but you have concerns about him fitting in your daycare. You simply cannot accomodate this Cheerios diet as its impacting the other kids which if it hasnt yet, it will.

You mentioned the other screaming issues similar to what I had. That is another issue as well which has to do with fitting in a group setting.

bright sparks
02-19-2014, 11:19 AM
With the passing of his father recently I would be more lenient with him as his world has been shook up pretty good.

Have you tried serving your food then sprinkling cheerios on top of the food with him watching? Maybe it will be enough to get him eating other foods.

The loss of his father is absolutely devastating and I don't mean to sound callus because I am not that person. But....this child needs stability and routine more than ever. If leniency is given it is going to be counter productive. He is 13mths old not 5. He isn't acting out because of the tragic passing of his father. The OP also mentioned that before his fathers passing he was not a good eater. I think a gentler approach with the mother is needed but still the conversation needs to be to the point so she doesn't miss how this could turn into a much greater problem to be dealt with in the future. If this child is molicoddled due to the loss of his father then he will likely not just be a picky eater but problematic in other areas too. He can still have lots of extra love while still doing whats best for his actual needs, not his caregivers transferring there needs on to him by babying him more than necessary. If this child was 3, 4 or older, then things would be very different, but the sad truth be told, at age 13mths he probably doesn't notice the absence of his father that much.

Such a sad situation for the family, I hope you are able to work through this eating issue and that having a stable caring caregiver will not just help the child but reassure the mother too.

playfelt
02-19-2014, 11:20 AM
I would try the putting the cheerios on the food and so what if that is all he picks out it will have the flavours at least or a bit of mashed potatoes or cheese sauce of the food. Over time he may eat some of the food too. To compensate putting 5 cheerios on the plates of the other kids is not going to make or break their meal either. No seconds of cheerios for anyone. I would also not allow the child to have just cheerios ever even if it means zapping a tablespoon of potatoes to give at snack - again even if he just picks out the cheerios to eat.

5 Little Monkeys
02-19-2014, 11:33 AM
I would also suggest putting a few cheerios with the food you serve. I would start by putting them on top for a few days, then mixing them into the food so he has to "work" for them. This would also make them more covered with food and hopefully he gets a bit more into him other than just cheerios.

I wouldn't be worried about the other kids not getting cheerios but if your kids make a big deal out of it, do as playfelt suggested and give them a few. I am lucky that my dck's don't care (or maybe they don't even realize lol) that a couple of the others get different food. Sometimes they ask if they notice but I just tell them that "that's xxx's food and this is yours" and they don't complain about it.

mickyc
02-19-2014, 11:45 AM
I agree. put them on top, start mixing them in but start cutting down on how much he gets. I would talk to mom and say although you understand the family has been through a lot you will be working towards feeding the child the same as the others and nothing else offered. My contract states that if the children don't eat what is being served that nothing else is offered and the child goes hungry. Right now I have an 11month old and mom is sending food but I have already started giving him the same as the other kids. In about a month I expect that he should be able to eat bite sized pieces of what I cook and not puree like is being sent.

playfelt
02-19-2014, 12:52 PM
The babies in highchairs often get special foods including cheerios and crackers the big kids sitting at the table don't get because they are old enough to bite and chew. They have their own treats at times the baby doesn't get. So for me at 13 months would be in a highchair so need to share wouldn't apply.

Also if you are putting them onto food the others won't even notice unless they see the box so keep some in a non-see through container for baby use.

Crayola kiddies
02-19-2014, 03:54 PM
I would not give him cheerios ...he already knows at 13 months that if he screams loud enough and long enough he will get cheerios ... no cheerios !!!!! put pasta on his tray and some fruit and if he throws it pick it up and say no throwing and keep doing that .....he will eventually eat ...but he is new there it is only his first week or so...... so let him adjust....I had one start in nov and he wouldn't eat or drink for me either ...as soon as mom walked in at the end of the day he grabbed a handful of food and popped it in his mouth and grabbed his cup and drank ....so I knew he was hungry and thirsty but he was out of sorts ....now he eats like a champ ...just give him time not cherrios !!!!!

5 Little Monkeys
02-19-2014, 04:13 PM
How long has he been on the cheerio diet? I know some kids go through food phases where they only want one or two things and it eventually passes. To be honest, I even go through food phases!! lol

(thank goodness I haven't come across a child like that....yet!! haha)

ttremble88
02-19-2014, 04:42 PM
So I did a little experiment with him this afternoon. After not touching his lunch and downing Cheerios, the kids had asked for the left over Valentines Day cookies that we had baked with snack. I put one on his high chair, and he devoured it. Which leads me to believe it is not that he is uncomfortable, he is just playing me and being stubborn. So I chatted with his mother tonight at pick up and she says that he eats fine at home and a variety of food. But in most cases, fruit are pureed. I asked her to give me an idea of something that he loves and she said sandwiches, apple sauce and cheese. So tomorrow, this is exactly what I am giving him. NO cheerios. He is either going to eat or not. But that is completely up to him.

mickyc
02-19-2014, 05:40 PM
Good for you! He might go hungry for a few days but he will eat....eventually!!

Rachael
08-19-2014, 09:12 AM
I don't cave into trantrums about food or anything else.

At interview I am really clear that I provide one meal without options and if a child decides not to eat it, then they will be extra hungry when the next meal time rolls around. I will neither force fed a child to get them to try something nor will I pander to picky eaters. This is the meal, take it or leave it.

If a child screamed for 10 mins about a meal I had provided, then the meal would be removed but I wouldn't give them the food items I know they wanted in exchange. I get it's really hard and disruptive but IMO, giving in just reinforces the behaviour.

Depending on age, I do have a two mouthfuls rule. If someone thinks they don't like something, they have to try two mouthfuls and if they still don't like it, fair enough. Again, they won't be offered an alternative since all of my meals have at least two items for a snack and three for a meal. They can eat the other things on their plates.

All that said, if a child really has a dislike of one item and it's out of character, I'll bear that in mind with future meal planning. I had one little boy who really didn't like peas. He'd eat any other vegetable but he truly disliked peas. For me, it's no big deal to plan to serve a different veg in that situation.

I would just offer a small portion of the real lunch. If he doesn't eat it, so be it. Sooner or later, with a busy environment, he's going to get hungry. It might be a heck of a rough ride for a few days since he's used to increasing the tantrum until he wins, so be prepared for an all out revolt on his part since that's worked to date and likely will continue to work at home.

I would also take the go-to Cheerios off the menu completely for the time being. If they remain, even as part of the routine go-to snacks, he'll realize that the next meal might just be the one he's hoping for and hold on for that.

Good luck. It's going to be a nightmare to break but will only get harder the longer it goes on so sooner or later, someone's going to have to deal with it head on.