Kids say the cutest things....

[5 Little Monkeys]

Kids come out and say the funniest, cutest, darndest things. What are some of your favourites that your kids or dck's have said??

I have a 2 yr old dcb who will sing in tune "baa baa black sheep have you any wool" than excitedly says "YES I do!" It makes me laugh every time

Same boy always tells me he is going to the ice cream store and when I ask him what he is going to get he says "toast"

2.5 yr old dcg is very motherly and when we are heading upstairs she will constantly remind the others to "be careful, don't wanna bump your noggin"

[ttremble88]

Oh my, there are so many!

Dcb 3 was very concerned that I had 'worms on my bum'. Took me a while, but I figured out that he was referring to the lines on my jean pockets.

My 2 year old thinks that I am currently pregnant with 3 babies. 1 in my belly and another 1 in each of my boobs.

[KingstonMom]

I have a 3.5 yr old who is the king of random information he feels the need to be heard lol.

Today he chased me around to get my attention and yelling my name. I turn to him "yes?" "Kingstonmom! I have eyebrows!!" "Wow, DCB! that's awesome!" hahah

other classic random bits he shared with me:
"I have toys at my house"
"the ceiling is white"
"poop is stinky"

[Fun&care]

Lol how about kids say TOO MUCH?!?!? I had one that used to tell me the grossest stuff, like "mommy spilled period blood on the bathroom rug" or " it really stinks when daddy poops" and would go into detail about daddy's potty habits lol. No thanks kid!

[5 Little Monkeys]

ewwww!!!!!!!! That is TMI for sure!!! I always wonder if the parents realize how much we know about their lives LOL

[madmom]

My all time fave was the 3&1/2 yo came Monday morning talking about a neighbourhood bbq the day before. She finished the story with "and my Dad loooooooves Beer" Made me laugh so hard and it was hard to look the dad in the eye after that without laughing

[bright sparks]

I had a 3 year old tell me almost weekly that his mommy had a diva cup. Well please don't judge me ladies but I naively thought that she had a coffee cup that said diva on it. You can imagine how shocked I was when I ask mom one day about her diva cup and she informed me what it ACTUALLY was LOL....Never heard of them till then as they don't have them in the UK.

Currently, my pooper dcb from today, is constantly telling me that he has a big penis but his daddys is bigger. "My daddy's pens is bigger than my penis" lol

My son is 11 and he is constantly saying funny stuff. A couple of weeks ago over dinner he out of the blue asked me what kind of red wine I like to drink. I asked him why and he responded by saying that he thinks he will be a wine drinker when he is older because he doesn't like fizzy stuff so beer is out of the question. He started asking me which grape I preferred at which point I shuck my head and looked at him and asked how old he was lol I swear it was like talking to a 20 year old but I laughed my ass of later :)

[5 Little Monkeys]

Haha, I would have thought the same thing about the diva cup and I even know what it is! My mind just wouldn't go there because I wouldn't think a 3 yr old would know LOL. I had a mom ask me if her daughter had been asking for bandaids and I said no. She said "oh she asks for them all the time at home when I have my period".....didn't really need to know...

My daddy's penis is bigger...OH MY!! I would have a hard time keeping a straight face when dad picked up!

[Cadillac]

My three year old came up to me and asked to see the baby (im preggers). I said sure and stuck out my tummy. She says 'nonono . . . open your mouth so I can see' . . . I bent down and opened wide so she could check out the fetus . . she says 'ooooooooh noooooooooo he's crying!' she pat my tummy and gave me a hug. 'its ok baby dont cry!'
Thought I was gonna die!

[Daisy123]

I had a 3 yo obsessed with dandelions. We went to the park one day and passed a row of sunflowers. She, with a totally shocked looked on her face and a serious voice, says "Don't go near THAT dandelion!". The best though was the 3 yo who would tell me about how her daddy liked to wear her mother's nightgown. Um... OK???

[5 Little Monkeys]

hahahah Daisy!!! That is hilarious

[Polkaroo]

When my oldest DS was about 3yo, he saw a lady walking and said "she's pretty mommy!" I asked him "what makes you say that hunny?" he said innocently...."my penis told me so!". I was so shocked, I couldn't believe my ears! Lol he never said it again. He's nine now, I'm keeping this story for when he’s older! Lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

oh my goodness purple bunny!! That would shock me too lol

[mimi]

I have a 19 month dcg that calls my husband Dad and her father by my husbands name. Her mom said one morning she showed dcg her sleeping Dad and asked who is that? Dcg responded with my husbands name. So cute

[2cuteboys]

Dcb age 4 told me "thank you for this beautiful meal" at snack once lol.

And it wasn't anything fancy, I feel like he was just repeating a grace he heard with his parents!

[torontokids]

2 yo dd- "I want a "genis" (penis) so I can pee standing up" said this after seeing dcb pee.

2 yo dcg to a grumpy 3 yo dcg- "did your _____ (baby sister) wake you up lot's last night?" .

3.5 yo dcb- "My mom told my dad he needs to get a job."

[Polkaroo]

oh my goodness purple bunny!! That would shock me too lol

I know! I'm so glad I never had to hear that again! Lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

I had made a new porkchop recipe for the dck's and the 2.5 dcg says "mmm this is yummy chicken" even though I kept telling her it was pork haha.

2 yo dcb's mom is pregnant. Yesterday he said "mommy baby tummy", (his name) baby tummy, "5LM baby tummy" to which I quickly replied "No, 5LM has no baby in her tummy" and than I realized I should probably tell him that he doesn't either! lol

[mickyc]

I have a story about my own daughter! My husband and I are trying to loose weight. My daughter has been seeing us weighing ourselves more, and we have been talking about "eating healthier" as opposed to dieting etc. I have been trying so hard to not make her conscious about her body etc. She mentioned to me one day that she wanted a big tummy like me. I told her that hopefully I wont have a big tummy. Well wouldn't you know it, we are at the grocery store and a large woman was walking across the parking lot in front of us. My daughter so innocently says "Mommy, that lady has a big tummy". I was mortified! We had a talk in the vehicle about how we only talk about our bodies at home.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Mickyc your story reminded me of one from my cousin. My aunt is overweight (as am I) and we discuss it openly and always have. We are very realistic people and call things what they are. Well one day, her 9 year old son came home in tears. She asked what was wrong and he proceeded to tell her that some of the kids were making jokes on the bus and told him a "yo momma is so fat..." joke and he took it literally!! She explained to him what the "yo momma" jokes are and that they weren't intentionally making fun of her in particular!

Her other son is 12 now but when he was about 4 or 5 I had taken him out shopping with me and there was a very overweight man ahead of us. He exclaims to me "that man is fatter than you!!" almost in awe (made me feel like I was 800 pds btw LOL)....I was sooooo embarrassed!!

[2cuteboys]

I had made a new porkchop recipe for the dck's and the 2.5 dcg says "mmm this is yummy chicken" even though I kept telling her it was pork

When I was young, apparently I decided I hated every meat except chicken. So my mom kept telling me that was what we were eating every time we had meat, and I thought every meat was chicken until I started going to friends houses for supper!

[mickyc]

When I was young, apparently I decided I hated every meat except chicken. So my mom kept telling me that was what we were eating every time we had meat, and I thought every meat was chicken until I started going to friends houses for supper!

ha ha, that is what I do with my daughter too! she isn't very fond of pork but we just call everything chicken and she will at least taste it lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

LOL my dad did the same to us when he would cook rabbit....it honestly does taste and look like chicken though so even as we got older we were never sure!!

[superfun]

My daughter so far hasn't done anything that embarrassing, but the cutest thing she's said lately was when I saw her read without any help. I said "wow, did you just read that? " She got mad at me and exclaimed "No, I just used the letters to figure out what the word was! "
I guess she was insulted that I thought she had learned to read.

[mimi]

5lm, when you mentioned rabbit I burst out laughing. My father brought home a rabbit for dinner. Figuring us kids wouldn't eat the cute little bunny he told us all it was chicken. I remember chewing on a leg and remarking that it must have been a tall chicken because its legs were so long. Kids will believe most anything....for a while anyway:)

[5 Little Monkeys]

haha, so true mimi!! We used to question the size of the legs too and than my dad started to de-bone it for us so we wouldn't see it!!! Than one day when we were older he told us we were eating bugs bunny and that was it for me...I couldn't eat it anymore without gagging!! (I think I get my sick sense of humour from him lol)

[Secondtimearound]

One of my dcb said to his mom at pick up , he was going to marry my dd (aged 5) , his mom thought it was so cute until my dd mumbled a response , dcm looked aghast and said ,"did she just say she hopes he dies ?" And I nervously asked my dd what she had said , and she gives us all a snarky look and says ,"I said I will only marry dark haired guys !!"
We moms howled !!!
Dcb was grinning ear to ear , and his mom says "he doesn't realize he got shot down "! He's blonde !!

[Polkaroo]

Oh my, these are making me LOL, I'm telling my husband some of these stories....love it! feels good after the day I had! Is it Friday yet? ;)

[treeholm]

When my daughter was in nursery school, one of the other children had a dad who was quite overweight. In the playground at pickup time, my daughter said (LOUDLY!), "Look Mummy, that man is having a baby!" I said quietly (turning bright red). "No honey, that man is not having a baby." My daughter replies, again in a very loud voice, "Then why is his uterus so big?"
The poor man turned a much worse shade of red than I was.... My daughter is a Mom of two herself now, and so far, nothing her girls have done has come even close to this....

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree purple bunny....I am loving these!! Sadly, it's not Friday though :(

[torontokids]

I was explaining to my dd that her aunt is pregnant and there is a baby in her tummy. She said "it's sitting on all her food?"

[ebhappydc]

Hi - I came across this great thread and want to add to it! I've kept a journal of things the kids have said over the years because looking at the world thru their eyes often provides much needed comic relief! Most of it I can’t relay back to their parents but some have gone in the child’s Mother or Father’s Day card. Happy Mother’s Day this weekend to all who care for children:)

- dcb asked, “who drilled the holes in the Cheerios?”
- another day of rain, “the clouds should wear diapers!”
- pointing to a completely bald man at the park “who took that man’s hair?”
- at the end of an exhausting day, “what are we going to do today?”
-“I like to drive in my daddy’s car…. it’s faster than mommy’s car”
-“I wish my daddy would have a baby like my mommy” I replied “me too…”
- “Why are you feeding the baby barf?”
-“Can we have our snack time for lunch instead?”
- pointing to roadkill, “is that squirrel going to be dead all week?”
-“Can we sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Spider up the Spout?”
-”My mommy, daddy, brothers and me took a bath last night”, I ask ‘at the same time?’... “Ya.”
-“When we’re not at daycare, do you still talk?”
-Canada Geese flying overhead, “what are those flappy things up there?”
- pointing to the midget dad in the school parking lot dcg yells, “look at the baby-daddy!!”
-“Can we watch the movie on wild screen?”
- “Does everybody poop?” … ‘Yes, Kings, Queens, everyone.’ I reply. Another child chimes in “that’s not true. the Dairy Queen doesn't poop.”
- to another dcc “wanna play flood the toilet?”
-“Damn it” (… didn’t hear it from me!)
- dcg drawing a rainbow, “mommy and daddy are the rainbow, and I give them the colours”

A few years ago, my 7 yr old son was taking a bath when suddenly a severe summer lightning storm popped up, he screamed, “If I die can you dress me!!?” He also asked when he came home from school one day “What does the food chain taste like?” L O L

[Suzie_Homemaker]

One of my day care girl had new baby boy brother. First bath at home, she watching baby having wash and asked "Are you going to wash his tail, Daddy?"

[torontokids]

heh heh...love these!

We were eating homemade Popsicles the other day and the kids were recalling the fruit they put in them (In the food processor). They named them all and I said "we missed one, it starts with a "P." 2 yr old DCG shouts out "Penis'" he heh...at least she knows it starts with "p"

[lovlieee444]

My 6 year old is sooo obsessed with tulips and sun flowers, i take him out to the state garden and he runs to those in joy...oh my :woot: Any sweet tooth babys here? Mine is a sweet tooth,but i try to avoid it as much as i can

[mimi]

Mom asked her daughter if one day she would like to ride on the school bus. She said yes, right to Mimi's house:) Awww

[5 Little Monkeys]

- when they ask for dragon fruit, they ask for dinosaur fruit

- past family went for ice cream (which is 4 houses from me) and past dcb asked if they could invite me. I was cooking supper though :(

- playing outside one day, dcg opened the mailbox and said "no post today"....how did she know post was another name for mail lol

- I said to dcb that he looks like his mom. He looks at me and says "no I don't! Mom has a unicorn"....turns out by unicorn, he meant ponytail?? Haha

- dcg is talking about how they all have blonde hair and dcb says his is dark. I say the girls have blonde hair and the boys have dirty blonde hair. He looks at me all offended and says "mine is clean blonde hair" and shows me LOL

[mimi]

I was putting my 3 yr old dcg on the potty. She looked down and said "you have big feet" (I do). She then looked at my face and said "you have a big nose" (I don't) So, trying to promote a good body image, I said "yes, aren't I lucky" and she looked me straight in the eye and said "you're kidding right?" LOL

[Van]

I LOVE These .....On Monday a 2 y old said to me "I'm on drugs "LOL she had a cold on Friday
another time I was showing a child how to cough into our sleeve with that he grabs my arm and coughs into MY sleeve and walks off : )LOL

[5 Little Monkeys]

On Monday I had a bag of my pants (a lady was coming to buy them) on the bench by the door. Dcb asked what they were and I told him. He looks at me and says, "did you pee them?" LOL!!! When he pee's his, that's where they go ha ha

[bright sparks]

One of my daycare kids (2yo dcb) became a big brother on Tuesday and wasn't here. Yesterday he came and we made a lot of fuss about his new baby sister and how he is a big brother and how some of the other daycare kids are little brothers. This morning 4yo dcb says to 2yo dcb..."Are you still a big brother" lol Did he just think the new baby was temporary lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

I wasn't paying attention at first so I'm not sure how they started but this is what I heard

Dcb...everyone has a penis

Dcg...no, I don't have a penis

Dcb...everyone does. How do you pee then?

Dcg...oh I have another little thing

Dcb...no, everyone has a penis

Dcg...well some girls do but I don't

Oh my!!! Lol

[superfun]

Oh my gosh! That is hilarious!

[kindertime]

Wow, dcg is logical, can comprimise and will stand her ground when she knows she's right. Smart kid!

[5 Little Monkeys]

She really is!! Often, I am surprised at what she says and wonder where she picks it all up lol. She is going to be 4 in September and no one ever believes me or mom when we say that. For a couple years now people have always thought she was older than she is. She was toilet trained before she was 2 and during a convo between mom and I, we realized she pretty much did it on her own. I had just assumed mom worked really hard with her at home and mom assumed I had done it at daycare lol. During the day when I am listening to them, she says the most adult things and is really such a caring, compassionate, thoughtful and insightful child. Her mom is a nurse and I can definitely see her following in those foot steps....she already has her mind made up that that is what she wants to be! :) She makes dc life pretty darn easy!! I was worried that they were going to pull her out this Fall for preschool but mom let me know this week that they decided not to bother with ps as they would rather keep their spot here. I am so happy because she is such a perfect dc child!!

It's funny because from the time she came here, at one years old until about 20-24 months, she was such a spacey child and I would often say that she always appeared to be in her own little world.....did she ever prove me wrong!! haha

[lovlieee444]

My 7 yr old is obsessed with yellow roses, only YELLOW its so cute. I give him 1 yellow rose every day that i come home frm work it so cute, he gets up and like runs to me then laughs with the rose in his hand

[ebhappydc]

Have to bring this thread back as one 4yr old dcb said: "my daddy planted a baby tree in my backyard. When it's bigger he's gonna build a treehouse in it for me to play in"....lol. I didn't have heart to tell him he'll be 30 when that happens....chuckle for Friday in this stressful job :D