View Full Version : *facepalm*

03-13-2014, 02:47 PM
I have an almost 18mo DCK that I've posted about before. Sleeps 4:30/5 - 5, and takes two 20 minute naps at home all day. Kid is totally exhausted all day long. Mom puts her down for her first nap before she gets here, then I put her down after lunch fir a Very inconsistent afternoon nap.

The time change has been great for her. Mom still puts her down 5-5, which is now 6-6 which means she doesn't have time for her morning nap before she gets here. With one nap a day, she was sleeping 2.5 hours on Mon and Tue, and honestly, was like a different kid. Alert, inquisitive, energetic. Mom and I talked, and I mentioned it was probably because she was taking one long nap instead of two shorter naps, and that she was overdue to drop it anyway.

She stayed home yesterday because because her mom had a last minute shift change, and mom mentions to me today, that she didn't sleep at all for either her morning OR afternoon naps. WHY ARE YOU STILL PUTTING HER DOWN IN THE MORNING??.?. She's not herE on Fridays, which means 3 straight days at home where she calls all the shots. We had SUCH a great opportunity to get this kid on a schedule that would work better for DCK, me, and her dad, who never gets to see her because she's sleeping by the time he gets home. But mom us just not getting it. :mad::thumbdown:

03-13-2014, 02:54 PM
Oh mom gets it, she just wants the break a nap provides for her. I would be firm and tell her that he must be on the same schedule at home that dck is on at daycare. Emphasise the difference you have seen in dck's demeanor and mood just having the one longer nap. Poor Dad for not being able to see his child at the end of the day. Selfish mom.

03-13-2014, 05:39 PM
5pm is early! Why does she put him down so early? If he slept a bit later with a normal routine, dinner, bath, book, he would get to maybe see dad, sleep a little later in the morning and be ok until afternoon nap. I've never heard of anyone putting an 18 mth old to bed so early. Maybe it's just me. No wonder his schedule is all messed up.

Unfortunately there is so much you can do but I would also suggest to have a talk and really making it clear on how important it is for you. Have you tried talking to both mom and dad? That sometimes helps. If in person doesn’t work could you write them both an email? If it doesn't work out and it causes you issues, then maybe start thinking of terminating. I know it sounds harsh but if you work hard on trying to get him on a good routine and you and the parents don't see eye to eye then I would definitely consider it.

I give parents an example of what my day looks like with nap times and always suggest they try and do the same at home so that it's consistent. I also suggest they start the new routine at home before they start integration so that it's easier for the child.

Good luck. I really hope the parents see that you have his best interest at heart and decid to work with you. Keep us posted.

03-13-2014, 05:48 PM
unfortunately as much as we would like our parents to follow the same schedules as us we really can't expect them to. My new boy has 2 naps at home and only 1 here. He goes to bed at 6:30 and mom can't figure out why he is up at 5. Maybe put him to bed a bit later! I cut out morning nap because he wasn't sleeping very long in the afternoons for me. He slept the full afternoon nap for 2 days now!!

5 Little Monkeys
03-13-2014, 06:08 PM
Most of my past parents have always asked what I do here in regard to napping and they have followed that routine on weekends and days off. However, I have a new family and their son is 18 months as well. He is on roughly the same schedule as yours by the sounds of it. They pick him up around 4, have dinner around 430/5 and he is in bed around 530/6 and up at 6. Up until a month or so ago he was having 2 naps but they are now only doing one because that is what I do here. However, even with only nap he usually only naps an hour to 1.5 hours(usually always the hour or less tho) and than lays quietly in his playpen. He always poops an hour-ish into nap though and this is what wakes him up! It's so annoying lol. He's never tired or cranky though thank goodness. I think it's because he is getting such a long sleep at night!!

That is sad that Dad doesn't get to see his child in the evenings. Does he at least have a couple hours in the morning with her? I personally am not a morning person so this schedule wouldn't work for me but some people are morning people so maybe it's what they like?

03-13-2014, 06:10 PM
unfortunately as much as we would like our parents to follow the same schedules as us we really can't expect them to. My new boy has 2 naps at home and only 1 here. He goes to bed at 6:30 and mom can't figure out why he is up at 5. Maybe put him to bed a bit later! I cut out morning nap because he wasn't sleeping very long in the afternoons for me. He slept the full afternoon nap for 2 days now!!

I must be very lucky because my dcp really value my input. One was skeptical about dropping morning nap, I told her to trust me, try it and see. she did and her daughter sleeps like an angel! I wish all parents were as easy going as mine. Must be so frustrating. I'm sure I'll have my share at some point (fingers crossed).

03-13-2014, 07:10 PM
Something tells me the mom doesn't want one big afternoon nap because it prevent the kid from falling asleep at 5pm. I would think that sleeping 2 hrs, likely from 1-3pm makes the kid resist such an early bedtime. Whereas a short 30min nap at 1pm likely has the kid exhausted by 5pm.

I have it in my contract they must sleep/rest for 2hrs after lunch. None of my families have an issue with it but should they start to I can point to the contract. Some of mine still do 2 naps (12month olds) so I don't enforce the full 2hrs if they did a good morning nap.

03-13-2014, 08:52 PM
Purple Bunny - I find with most parents that they just let their kids sleep when they want and get up when they want. In daycare I am on a set schedule. Nap is from 12:30 - 3, no question. If they are still asleep at 3 too bad I get them up. Most parents would just let their child sleep until they woke up. So on weekends they don't care if the child sleeps an hour in the morning and an hour and a half in the afternoon. For me I want the kids to sleep the full 2.5 hours in the afternoon, that is MY time.

I used to have one family whose boy would only sleep an hour for me everyday. He was only 12 months old. It was very disruptive to our day. I asked mom to not let him cat nap on the drive to daycare (30 minutes) and again on the way home. Her reply was "I can't not let him sleep when he is tired!". UMMM....ya just keep talking to him and keep him up. I struggled with that boy for 5 months until they left.

Now I just do my own thing. I quit worrying about what parents do during weekends and just worry about what I do here. It is similar to separated parents - you can't control what goes on in the other person's home LOL. I wean kids off soothers, bottles and morning naps way before the parents are ready.

03-18-2014, 01:59 PM
It's not a matter of mom wanting the kid to go to bed ASAP. She is one of the good parents that actually enjoys spending time with her daughter. She picks her up as soon as she is off of work (she has me text as soon as she is up from her nap and comes and gets her within 5 minutes), and DCK is in my care the shortest amount of time out of all my kids. I truly think this is a new mom who is just a little clueless.

Good news though, is that there was a bit of a breakthrough this weekend. Mom brought DCK in yesterday and told me that she has successfully pushed bedtime back to 6:30, and she is sleeping until almost 7 in the morning. No morning nap necessary, and her afternoon nap has been 2+ hours both days this week. I totally played up how good this was for her, and that her dad could see her in the evenings. Hopefully it sticks this time!! Thanks for letting me vent!

5 Little Monkeys
03-18-2014, 02:11 PM
that's awesome!! For you, dcg and dcd!!

bright sparks
03-18-2014, 02:26 PM
That's terrific new all round!!

03-19-2014, 06:55 AM
It is! I love reading a positive outcome to our vents/issues, it's great!