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Gloucestermom
03-17-2014, 03:39 PM
Hi all, do you have any advice on how to handle a pouting 4 yr old boy? Do I just ignore it, or try to get him to stop?
Most of the time when I tell him he needs to share, or take turns, or play a game by the rules, he yells 'No fair!', turns around, crosses his arms and cries. Sometimes he'll throw the toy on the floor and shout 'I'm not playing anymore!' so I say 'Okay, we'll be here when you're ready to play again'. Then after a few minutes he'll come back.

Today, I said 'You can play when you're done pouting' and he said 'You're the one who's making me pout!' I said 'No, you're responsible for your own actions' I think that may have gone over his head.

I've never given in to this behaviour, I know it's just his way of trying to get his own way. Any advice is appreciated!

5 Little Monkeys
03-17-2014, 04:31 PM
We all have times where we pout and want to be left alone and have a self pity party and that should be allowed for children as well. I would be doing the same as you and letting him know that when he is ready to play he will be welcomed into the group again. However, if the pouting child is interfering with the group than I will encourage them to go the library area and read a book until their mood is happier and they want to play again.

After the child is done pouting, I would talk about it and discuss how when we are pouting we are missing out on all the fun stuff.

playfelt
03-17-2014, 04:39 PM
I guess I would have to know what you mean by share - there is a difference between expecting kids to take turns and allowing a child to finish with a toy and put it back and another child playing with something else till his toy of choice is back on the shelf.

mickyc
03-17-2014, 06:11 PM
If a child behaved like that they would be in timeout. I do not allow a child to back talk me, yell or throw toys and I also don't allow a child to cry because they didn't get their way.

Now if I told a child that they needed to share or take turns (or whatever) and they began to pout then I just ignore the behaviour.

Gloucestermom
03-17-2014, 06:47 PM
Sharing like if my 4yo son has a car, and he has a car, then the DCB will grab my son's and keep both of them. Or, if my son is looking through a bucket of cars, then DCB will grab the whole bucket.

playfelt
03-18-2014, 02:02 PM
In a very stern voice directly in the child's face - not every toy you see is yours to play with. ALL of the toys in this room belong to me and I decide who can and can not play with them and if you do not take turns with the toys you won't be playing with any of them.

Then walk away and let him pout. Designate a pouting spot - works same as time out but is for curbing the pouting just like we have a cry spot when needed.

It will get to the point you can just point at the spot and he will go. Say nothing about the pouting after that.

When planning activities child needs to learn limits, self control and taking turns so play a game with both of them that means taking turns but make it easy cooperative so winning isn't an issue.

2cuteboys
03-18-2014, 02:24 PM
Yeah that's not acceptable. If kids do that here it is a time out. I had to implement a rule with a 4 year old recently who would stalk the other kids, asking them for their toy every 30s until he either took it anyway, or the other kid got mad enough to do something. I told him anything in the toy box he can have, but he was not allowed any toys on the floor (as he would wait for a kid to drop a toy and then snatch it up) and wasn't allowed to ask another kid for it either. He's been better and we've relaxed the rules a bit.

If the child needs to cry, they can do so in time out (I call it a 'break' and they can take them for a multitude of reasons - time out, need to get away from the other kids, too frustrated, hurt and want to chill a bit), however, I don't allow the "attention-seeking" crying. One child I have who does it will stop if I tell him it's not acceptable. The other one will get worse the more you speak to her, so I'll move the other kids to an area where she can't see us and continue playing.

Secondtimearound
03-18-2014, 04:47 PM
The behaviour of not sharing I would address , the pouting I would not . I constantly try to reinforce positive attention on the ones having issues sharing ! I have two !!! I am forever parroting , we share with our friends !!! But if they pout , I ignore ! Unless it escalates into bad behaviour .
Pouting is just a quiet way of defiance , their way of showing they are not happy to share . No big deal to me !!!! When I catch them and remind them to share and they do , without the pout it's a party !!! Yay you !!! But as long as they are making their negative behaviour , initially not sharing , then more attention with the pouting , it's still attention on the bad behaviour .
A quick , oh we share with our friends !!, then ignore the pout , in my opinion works the best ! On to reward positive behaviour !!