View Full Version : Really wondering if new child is ever going to stop crying :(

03-18-2014, 12:23 PM
I have a new girl in my daycare. She started in March after her transition week in February. She has missed days here and there due to illness. She cries all day, cries through nap, cries if I am out of sight for seconds. I am starting to wonder if this little girl is going to work out or not. :( I have never had a child transition for this long, I have also never termed because of lack of ability to transition - what is going on?!

03-18-2014, 12:27 PM
I feel for you, I also had a child who also had a hard time with transitioning. Yesterday he came and was a totally different child. I don't know why but I was thrilled.

03-18-2014, 12:31 PM
I am exhausted

bright sparks
03-18-2014, 12:54 PM
I don't think the inconsistencies will have helped. I don't like to do a period with less days or half days as a transition period. I don't believe a child can truly start to transition without being on a set and consistent schedule. I would get a plan down on paper and talk to the parents about working together. Setting a time limit seems to really motivate parents I find and then be prepared to maybe let them go. Good luck

03-18-2014, 12:58 PM
I hear you! My new little guy has been here a month already. He still cries a lot throughout the day but it is much better than the first 2 weeks! It will get better, it will but ultimately it is your decision on what you want to do about it. I terminated care once before. The boy had never been away from mom and for 3 days he screamed at the top of his lungs, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, nothing helped. He had the worst cry too, so high pitched and piercing! The other kids would walk around covering their ears. After day 3 I told mom it wasn't going to work. I knew I couldn't handle him any longer. I was already the 2nd daycare, the first one only lasted 1 day. Daycare No. 3 was his magic number. She managed to hold out and he apparently cried for 2 weeks straight but did finally stop.

If you can't handle it then there is nothing wrong with saying you can't and need to move on. If you can stick it out just know that we are all here for you, have all been through it and as much as it doesn't feel like it will stop it will, eventually! LOL

5 Little Monkeys
03-18-2014, 12:59 PM
I'd give it a full two weeks of full days and than see if that helps. Transitioning, being ill and being pt will all make a transition period less than ideal.

In the meantime, keep doing what you would normally do. Stick to your routine as much as possible and hopefully she will become adjusted. Offer comfort and cuddles from time to time but don't let it become a habit. The more comfortable she is with you and your dc, the sooner she will settle in :) Good luck!!

03-18-2014, 01:05 PM
I think that seems to be a common thing nowadays - difficulty transitioning new ones.
There seems to be a thread quite often. I really don't know what is happening to these little ones. It seems like all kinds of habits are being created, suggestions not being taken, and if the parents aren't willing to work with you on the transition period the provider ends up terming.
I have had all my kiddos in the past year of business start 11-12 months of age. Some did great with no issues from the get go - parents followed my list of suggestions and were willing to work with me - others not so much, have had to term 1 family and came close to terming another before she got better at the 3 week point.
I have also become quite aware of the red flags to look out for at interviews that tell me that transition will be an issue. One is if time isn't consistent here and if Grandma is sharing in the care. I have one guy who has been with me since last Feb part time me, part time Grandma. He STILL cries when he can't see me, STILL won't wait his turn or share, STILL doesn't handle moving onto the next task (lunch, tidy up, etc) and melts down. He will be going once I start mat leave as I will only be keeping my FTimers. His parents know these issues and are wonderful, however, cannot afford to pay me FT so that is why Grandma shares in the childcare - shes free.
Bottom line, I typically give things a full month. I let the child do their own thing the first 2 weeks (sleep schedule, eating, etc) then give a check in with the parents. I try and implement our routine at the 2 week point and if there is NO improvement within the month long point, I term.
There MUST be consistency from home and daycare in this period and if there is NO consistency its not going to work.
Good luck to you! You know what you and your daycare can handle. You don't want this transition affecting the others in your care too much. Parents may complain too.

03-18-2014, 01:17 PM
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support!

03-18-2014, 01:35 PM
How long do you give it? Am I being unrealistic?

5 Little Monkeys
03-18-2014, 01:38 PM
The length of time will vary from dcp to dcp. I expect a transition period to be around 2 weeks. I've only had one take that long to adjust though. I would probably give it a month but it would even vary from child to child for me. If I'm not seeing ANY improvement than I would term a lot quicker vs a child that was at least improving week to week.

03-18-2014, 01:38 PM
Totally agree with 5LM. Give it to the end of the month if you can. If it isn't improving then don't feel bad saying you can't do it any longer and move on.