Facebook

[ttremble88]

For those whom have Facebook, do you add your daycare parents? I got a friends request from the mother of 'that' child. You know the one that gives you a headache from the time that they arrive to the time that they leave. My 'that' child comes in the form of a 9 year old boy that talks back and constantly lies.

Anyhow, even though I do not post anything specific about my daycare or the children on my facebook, other then cute things that are said/done (not mentioning names), I am not sure if adding families is a good idea.

Just wondering how many of you do/don't.

[mimi]

I don't. I just don't want to mix my work business with my personal business.

[dshtebazile]

I do not have any current families on my Facebook, but I do have 3 past families on there. It's nice to continue watching past children grow through photos and keep in touch with old clients. I wouldn't feel comfortable having a current family on mine though.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't add current or past families to my fb. I keep my business and personal life separate. I don't post any names or things like that but I might have a comment like "whooo, can't wait for the weekend!!!" and I don't want any parents thinking I'm anxiously awaiting the wknd to get away from their kids lol. Or if a child is having a difficult transition and I post "bring on the wine!" I don't want them seeing that either LOL. This was taught to us when I took some ECE courses and it's just always stuck with me.

My personal life has nothing to do with dc so therefore they don't need to see my fb. I've had one mom ask me what my fb name was because she couldn't find me (I keep my settings high) and I just explained to her that I don't add dc families and she was fine with that and totally understood. Shortly after that I changed my fb name to something parents would never know and I now block all of the parents just to be extra cautious. Fb is always changing so I will occasionally go in and make sure my settings are still set high.

[Dreamalittledream]

I'm the odd man out here;). I have a 'secret' (settings are very high) group for my Daycare families in which I post daily pictures, info. etc. When I created it I knew no other way than to have to add the families to my personal Facebook account and link them in. I honestly have no qualms about it. Nothing to hide in this house:). In fact, I think it helps new families really get to know us; our personalities etc. I will say I am very cautious as to what I post so that it maintains a level of respect for whomever may read it (be it my fellow church members, daycare families, children on Facebook...). I read a quote somewhere about how lucky my generation is that we didn't have Facebook (& the resulting pictorial evidence) during our crazy teen years...so true!

[5 Little Monkeys]

dreamalittledream... how true!! My girlfriends and I always talk about how we were lucky that fb didn't exist when we were in high school haha. I have nothing to hide and I am who I am but I don't want to have to watch what I say on fb (altho I guess to an extent I do anyways but that is just due to respect). There are times that I wish I didn't have some family members on there either ;) hahaha

[cfred]

Guess I'm the freak in the bunch again. Yep...I'm FB friends with all of them. And still friends with all my old ones too. I like that we're all friends outside of work. We're all coordinating for our next Mothers' Dinner now and I appreciate that everyone wants to attend and shows genuine enthusiasm. It's nice :) The lines between professional and friendship relationships are very blurred. And oddly...none of them ever questions my practices, fees or policies. I kinda love it!

[mickyc]

Nope! I created a separate page for my daycare that parents can "like". On there I put pictures of all our art/crafts. I want to keep daycare separate from my friendships although it is hard sometimes when my daughter is friends with their children and we get invited to parties etc. I don't think there is any need for a parent to have access to my facebook.

[Judy Trickett]

No. Not on my personal FB page. I have a separate Daycare FB page for the parents.

[Samantha33]

I do. I don't have a cell phone for texting and that is how we communicate a lot of the time. I have nothing I want to keep from them and they have nothing to keep from me so it works well. I never post about my day or the kids. If it's been a rough day I tell them at pick up. My parents past and present have always understood there are challenges with children. I also tell them about the good days.

[AmandaKDT]

I have it in my technology policy that I will not "friend" any daycare child through any form of social media - this would apply to school age kids of course. But I don't think I would ever friend parents on Facebook, I don't like the idea of mixing business and pleasure that way. Anything I have to say to the parents is in person or by email. I don't know how you guys have time to post pics and stuff online on a daily basis! Kudos to you!

[cfred]

I don't post pics online on nearly a daily basis. My clients are only on my FB as they want to know me better, we share information, recipes, etc. It's just one of those little social niceties. I think it's just a friendly thing and they like it, as do I. I typically only post pics from my holidays any more, which they've looked through, as have all my friends. But again, this is part of my schtick for the business. I promote relationships between myself and clients as well as between each other. They really seem to value it and it's been a bit of a drawing card for my daycare. It's not for everyone, but those who like it really appreciate feeling closer to and really knowing the person taking care of their child and those whose children spend vast amounts of time with their kids ....and vice versa. It's all open, friendly and fun and we're all on the same page.

[momofnerds]

I'm friends with 3 of them. I tell them that they are never ever allowed to talk about daycare on my site, but its all good. We are all moms so its not like we post selfies or naked pics of ourselves lol!

[cfred]

Yeah, I think if I was prone to unlimited tequila shots and nudie shots, I might abstain from letting my clients in to the degree that I do. My life is painfully domestic....with the odd slip up ;)

[mattsmom]

I have a couple of the daycare parents on my personal FB, but just the ones that I have a great relationship with and a couple parents that aren't with me anymore that I still want to communicate with. Also, that's how I communicate with some of them.
Personally, I have nothing to hide from them, but I just have to be careful to keep my snarky remarks about daycare experiences to myself....or vent on here to you lovely ladies! :D

[mattsmom]

I'm friends with 3 of them. I tell them that they are never ever allowed to talk about daycare on my site, but its all good. We are all moms so its not like we post selfies or naked pics of ourselves lol!

LOL, momofnerds!

[AmandaKDT]

I don't post pics online on nearly a daily basis. My clients are only on my FB as they want to know me better, we share information, recipes, etc. It's just one of those little social niceties. I think it's just a friendly thing and they like it, as do I. I typically only post pics from my holidays any more, which they've looked through, as have all my friends. But again, this is part of my schtick for the business. I promote relationships between myself and clients as well as between each other. They really seem to value it and it's been a bit of a drawing card for my daycare. It's not for everyone, but those who like it really appreciate feeling closer to and really knowing the person taking care of their child and those whose children spend vast amounts of time with their kids ....and vice versa. It's all open, friendly and fun and we're all on the same page.

I am very friendly with my families and some stay for a few minutes (or more) at drop off or pick up time just so we can chat. Being "friends" on Facebook isn't the only was to garner relationships. My daycare is very welcoming and open, and my parents have commented on this. I believe forming positive relationships is very important. But at the same time I know these families aren't really my friends, just like coworkers weren't when I was working out of home. I feel it is totally appropriate to keep a certain level of professional distance, as I find it makes it difficult to enforce certain daycare policies otherwise.

[bright sparks]

I don't post pics online on nearly a daily basis. My clients are only on my FB as they want to know me better, we share information, recipes, etc. It's just one of those little social niceties. I think it's just a friendly thing and they like it, as do I. I typically only post pics from my holidays any more, which they've looked through, as have all my friends. But again, this is part of my schtick for the business. I promote relationships between myself and clients as well as between each other. They really seem to value it and it's been a bit of a drawing card for my daycare. It's not for everyone, but those who like it really appreciate feeling closer to and really knowing the person taking care of their child and those whose children spend vast amounts of time with their kids ....and vice versa. It's all open, friendly and fun and we're all on the same page.

I think that is great for you and your current clients that this works for you all.It sounds like you have a great relationship with them but like you said though, it isn't for everyone. It will work until that one parent comes along and the boundaries become so blurred that it starts to effect your business relationship. It may not be that you have a problem with it, but a parent may and there is nothing you can do to control the reaction of another human beings thoughts, judgments or reactions. This is why keeping things separate is so important in my opinion and experience.

I have noticed repeatedly in this thread, many saying they have nothing to hide, but then omit to post certain things or are cautious on what they post. Well obviously the use of social media is different for everyone but if you had nothing to hide, then you would be able to post 100% honestly. This includes both the good and the bad. I want to be able to post that I had a royally shitty day and on Friday spent the night drinking red wine and felt like crap the next day without being judged. We are human and it is instinctive to judge, even if we are the most open minded and understanding people ever. I follow a lot of different people/places/organizations. I follow bands, alternative healthcare professionals and am a big advocate within the LGBTQ community and get into some controversial conversations that come up within the topics related to this subject. People tend to have strong beliefs associated with these types of subjects and someone can absolutely disagree with me to an extreme about something, but that has nothing to do with my profession or my ability to care for a child, but quite often it will be an automatic response to judge me based on my strong opinions about something and while some people can respect that and not let it interfere with a professional relationship, I still think a great number of people can't do this, even with the best of intentions.

I get what people say about posting naked pictures and stuff like that, it's cheap and sleezy and immature to do so. But that is that persons prerogative to do so....I certainly wouldn't do that to anyone, even my closest friends lol...but there for sure could be some pictures posted by my friends who have tagged me that could make you shudder. I want to be able to talk to my girlfriend and laugh about the stupid things we got up to over the weekend and post pictures. That may very well include some not so flattering pictures and some stories of "OMG what did I do?!" It doesn't make me a bad person and I can do whatever the hell I like but it may not fall into the guidelines that others have set out for themselves in their principles and personal values, and that is absolutely fine by me. I try to be anti oppressive so even if I do not agree with something, I try very hard to not judge a person for their actions, especially when it doesn't directly affect me, and try to always treat them with respect even if I don't like very much what they are doing or their opinion. Some of my posts may be on same sex marriages and how I think it should be something discussed more openly with our children. A daycare parent who does not agree with this philosophy would not be happy reading this on my social media page. This is my personal opinion and does not effect my daycare unless I have written in my contract that is part of my daycare day. Most parents see our identity as a daycare provider, not as an individual who is separate from our profession which may very well be a significant part of who we are, but does not define us. Basically all I am saying is my perspective is that if to truly be myself means upsetting some people and disagreeing with people, then so be it. I don't want any of my personal opinions and/or differences to be questioned or judged by my clients/customers because it makes them nervous about my ability to raise their children. My personal life and professional life are separate and due to the nature of our job putting us in a very close and intimate relationship with the children and their families, I feel that it is even more important not to mix business with pleasure.

I have only ever made an exception to this rule once, and it is something that happened very gradually and without intention. One of my closest friends is a daycare parent. I have looked after her children for 5 years. We have a lot of similar interests in nutrition and alternative healthcare. Drop off and pick up has been as chatty as with any other parent, even now. I have been invited to multiple birthday parties over the years for the kiddos and we have just naturally taken baby steps to let the vale down between us to become friends but have never overstepped the boundary although I have been faced with acknowledging that sometimes I stand with a foot on either side. I do not have her as a friend on facebook, we like going for coffee, lunch, dinner and handmade markets are now our go to social event we religiously go to together. I couldn't imagine not being her friend and admire her ability to keep the relationship professional during business hours which we talk about on a regular basis. My daughter babysits her kids and she is paid well. I never do her any favours and she never asks me to do anything for free. Even prior to my daughter babysitting if she needed a sitter she would always pay me, and I always took the money to reaffirm the business relationship, although I would never normally accept cash for helping a friend out for a few hours. We drink together, party together and cry together and I know that she is a rare gem that I am greatful to call a friend. It was something we were both cautious of progressing with, but I think the slow approach served us well. That being said, I have to vent regularly to my husband how she drives me crazy how she doesn't discipline her kids, which as her daycare provider drives me nuts when I am round her house socially and see her undoing all my hard work. I also can't discuss with her the extent of my depression and PTSD which I so desperatly want to as one of my closest friends as this would likely plant doubt in her mind at my capabilities as a daycare provider even though she would in all likelihood be able to relate somewhat. We dont see each other out of work all the time so fortunatly this setup just works but it takes work and restraint to keep on an appropriate level and i hope that it continues to be a positive relationship. I couldn't imagine doing this with a multitude of different people and feel that I would not be true to myself if I was different with them and not my true self.

I am friends with past parents now, who laugh their ass off to see me in a social setting where I let my hair down and oh my goodness "swear" and have a good time. The real me isn't always pretty but I'm not going to restrain myself for the benefit of others and this is why I prefer to keep my work and personal life separate.

[bright sparks]

Yeah, I think if I was prone to unlimited tequila shots and nudie shots, I might abstain from letting my clients in to the degree that I do. My life is painfully domestic....with the odd slip up ;)

This made me laugh. If my life was prone to tequila shots and nudie shots I'm pretty confident I wouldn't have any non daycare friends requesting me either lolol

[bright sparks]

I am very friendly with my families and some stay for a few minutes (or more) at drop off or pick up time just so we can chat. Being "friends" on Facebook isn't the only was to garner relationships. My daycare is very welcoming and open, and my parents have commented on this. I believe forming positive relationships is very important. But at the same time I know these families aren't really my friends, just like coworkers weren't when I was working out of home. I feel it is totally appropriate to keep a certain level of professional distance, as I find it makes it difficult to enforce certain daycare policies otherwise.

Couldn't agree more Amanda!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree a lot with you Amanda and Bright Sparks. I am friendly with my dc parents but we are not friends outside of dc as we really have no reason to be.

I also agree with BS's point...the things I post on fb reflect my opinions, thoughts, beliefs, morals etc and does not pertain to dc and dcparents really don't need to know all this about me. I try to be a very positive person and for the most part lead a very boring life lol but the odd time I post something "crazy" or "controversial", I don't want my clients to see. Fb for me is for friends and family, dc is my business and I would never friend my boss on fb if I worked out of the home. (I don't look at my dcparents as my boss but it's the same kinda feeling for me)

However, in my city we have a local forum website and most of my parents know who I am on there and have read my comments on things, so they probably do know a lot of my thoughts/opinions/beliefs anyways.

[mattsmom]

See, with me, I only will have parents that I have had a long time and have no qualms about knowing about my opinions and otherwise on my fb. There are parents that I have never and would never have on my fb because they are not people I would ever associate with outside of daycare.
I also helps me know what is going on in their lives as well, which makes us feel somewhat connected to each other. I love seeing pics of their kids on holidays or special places these been to and vise versa.
Really nothing in my life is too controversial that dc parents would be so offended that they wouldn't want me caring for their children, except the odd evening where wine in essential to get me through after a rough day with the kids, lol.