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View Full Version : 6 year old super picky. Barely eats.



busydaycarelady
03-20-2014, 02:25 PM
I have a kid for the past 2.5 years. He's going to be 6 in a few weeks. He's always been a picky eater, but it's become ridiculous. Will only eat bread, crackers, granola bars(if they have no dried fruit or nuts), sugary 'treat' cereals, cheese strings, tube yogurt, peanut butter, scrambled eggs, plain pasta and apples if the mood is right. There's the odd time he might eat meat and of course always treats.

It's become so bad though, that at each meal and snack, he will choose his favorite item and eat only that and expects unlimited amounts of that. For instance, one day we had homemade chicken noodle soup, choice of salad and/or veggies(carrots, cucumbers, peppers) and dip/dressing of their choice, one slice of toast with butter and a glass of milk. This kid only wanted to eat toast. And then wanted more. I told him, like everyone else, he must eat all his food first and only then csn he have more of an item. He complains to mom he doesn't get enough to eat and she gets all concerned that I'm not giving him enough to eat. I explained the situation, what we were eating, and she already knows my policy of eat what you have if you want more. She tells me he doesn't like those other foods and she doesn't enforce any rules about trying everything at home, he's allowed what he wants when he wants. She feels rules surrounding food are setting kids up for 'food issues' and eating disorders. He literally has never tried any fruit except apples and no veggies. It's insane. If I ask him to try a grape or carrot, he will scream and cry. It's pathetic. I realize this issue was created and perpetuated by mom and can only be solved by her getting on board. I just find it pathetic that she can't be bothered to encourage healthy eating. His school snacks every day are atrocious....always a pack of kool aid and either rice crispy squares, bear paws or chips. There are entire meals or snacks he refuses to eat because I won't make his 'favorite'.

ttremble88
03-20-2014, 03:15 PM
Tell her that you can not supply unlimited bread. And from now on,either she flows the policy or supplies his all you can eat bread.

But say it a bit more nicely..lol

2cuteboys
03-20-2014, 03:49 PM
I wouldn't even do that, aside from babies transitioning, the rules are the same for everyone. All of my kids would eat unlimited bread and nothing else if I let them.

I'd try giving him enough bread for a full serving (considered a grain serving, not enough bread to be a substitute for a full meal) right off the bat, so there can be no question of not giving him enough of that food group. I do this with my kids and it's a case of eat the bread off the bat if you want and then no more until everything else is gone. I've tried little bits at a time in order to coax them to try a few more bites at a time, but I find it's more of a hassle and they never really ate more anyway.

Crayola kiddies
03-20-2014, 03:54 PM
I wouldn't give her he option of supplying "all you can eat bread" because then the other kids will want hat too ... No ..... Follow the rules or find new care that will cater to your unhealthy eating values ...... She is setting her kid up for a lifetime of health problems and I would not be a party to it ..... In fact I would not even serve the bread till the rest has been eaten....... My dcks love bread too and they love when I serve sandwiches but I don't put the sandwiches out till the rest of the meal has been eaten .... A big incentive to clean up your plate ; ). And it works every time

busydaycarelady
03-20-2014, 04:11 PM
I don't plan I giving him unlimited bread at all or permitting mom to send it. It's horrific the way this kid eats. He's pale, thin, datk circles under the eyes, sick often and constipated frequently. If I serve yogurt and fruit for snack, he generally will not try a bite because it wasn't tube yogurt. If there's no grain choice at snack or none offered til
He eats the other stuff, he will go hungry.

Fun&care
03-20-2014, 04:16 PM
The way I do it with my kids is they have to eat a least one bite of veggie or meat etc before getting another serving of their "favorite"( usually a carb, I keep servings small). I find this works better for really picky eaters because most kids can handle ONE BITE, it's less overwhelming than cleaning their plate. What a shame that mom has such a twisted view on healthy eating tho...at six years old this isn't going to be easy to reverse. SHE is the one setting him up for a lifetime of food issues, rest assured that you are doing the right thing by not giving in to this nonsense. It must be so frustrating but keep your chin up!

busydaycarelady
03-20-2014, 04:26 PM
So awful. She also went as far as to tell me her family doctor agrees with her and that once he's an adult, he will learn to make healthy food choices. I'm all for treats once in a while, but my own child knows she doesn't leave the table until she tries at least one bite of everything and then she generally finds she likes that food she just tried. All other daycare kids try everything I ask but he will literally throw a toddler-esque tantrum and has sat at the table for nearly 2 hours staring angrily at his plate. His mom makes him a separate dinner if he wants, generally peanut butter sandwich or Mac and cheese. Her thoughts are any food is good food.

5 Little Monkeys
03-20-2014, 07:02 PM
Have you tried including him in the preparing of the food? Or how about giving him a grocery flyer and asking him to circle the things he likes? Or asking for his help to plan a weekly menu and than going through the flyer and adding things to it to make it healthy?

Might be a fun project for him and maybe get him to experiment with different food? Might not but it could be worth a shot!

mattsmom
03-20-2014, 07:38 PM
What I do with my daycare kids is that they get a plate with a bit of everything on it and if they only eat a bit then fine, they are done, but if they eat it all and want more, they can have more. I give the older kids the same amount to start and the same with the younger ones. I state in my policies that I don't force anyone to eat, but they either eat what they're given or they go hungry until the next meal.
The kids learn fast that I will not give in to their groaning or comments that they don't like something.

bright sparks
03-26-2014, 10:03 AM
I just stumbled across this when searching for info on healthy kids food options for my kids school lunches. I immediately thought of this thread as they have a healthy eating chart tool to help with fussy kids age 4-10 and I thought I would share it in case it helps with your situation or anyone else could find some use from it. I haven't really looked at it as my kids are older and it doesn't apply but check it out and I hope it proves useful :)

http://www.avivaallen.com/Kids-Nutrition/healthy-eating-charts-for-kids.html

dshtebazile
03-26-2014, 12:49 PM
thanks for sharing bright sparks! Love the charts I'm going to print and laminate to use with my 5yr old son. He is always talking about eating healthy and making good food choices but sometimes has a hard time following through I think these charts will be a great incentive!

torontokids
03-26-2014, 12:59 PM
We have a "good eaters club" which was really created for my picky eater dcb. They get a sticker if they eat well. I also sing a song if they try something new or eat something they don't like. The kids all sing it with me so there is lot's of encouragement. I praise my good eaters tons and this spurs on those that struggle.

They also don't get desert if they don't eat. They eat only what they are served.

busydaycarelady
03-27-2014, 02:25 PM
Thanks bright sparks for that link! I think I will give it a shot. The funny thing is, I've tried involving him and the other kids consistently in simple food prep, everyone picking a meal or snack and including healthy choices. He gladly does both but refuses to eat any fruit/veggies. Won't even eat jam because 'it's got fruit in it'. I recently told him if he eats one fruit/veggie per day we will make dessert on Fridays. He agreed then had a tantrum when we didn't make dessert on Friday after he refused to try anything all week.

We normally don't have dessert, but every so often we do or have a treat for snack. Once my mom dropped by at lunch with donuts for all the kids(didn't know she was going to) but I told them you must eat or at least try your veggies if you want one for dessert. Everyone else happily ate all their veggies but him. He threw a fit, cried, said I was unfair and rude and that he wanted a donut without having to even TRY a bite of veggie. So, he got no dessert. His mom told me that was really mean and unfair of me to 'exclude' him. That he should be offered the treat the same as the others. I explained he was 'offered' the same deal as the others, he just choose not to take me up on it. She then said if he doesn't like dinner, he simply gets whatever he wants instead(generally pb sandwich or Mac and cheese) and that he ALWAYS gets dessert. Even if he eats zero dinner. She's such a great parent in so many other respects but this seems so ridiculous. Especially when I can see such a difference in him compared to the others - sick very frequently, pale, dark circles under the eyes and constipated weekly. He has needed special medicine for this many times.

I'll try the food/sticker chart. Maybe it will work!!!

bright sparks
03-27-2014, 02:40 PM
Thanks bright sparks for that link! I think I will give it a shot. The funny thing is, I've tried involving him and the other kids consistently in simple food prep, everyone picking a meal or snack and including healthy choices. He gladly does both but refuses to eat any fruit/veggies. Won't even eat jam because 'it's got fruit in it'. I recently told him if he eats one fruit/veggie per day we will make dessert on Fridays. He agreed then had a tantrum when we didn't make dessert on Friday after he refused to try anything all week.

We normally don't have dessert, but every so often we do or have a treat for snack. Once my mom dropped by at lunch with donuts for all the kids(didn't know she was going to) but I told them you must eat or at least try your veggies if you want one for dessert. Everyone else happily ate all their veggies but him. He threw a fit, cried, said I was unfair and rude and that he wanted a donut without having to even TRY a bite of veggie. So, he got no dessert. His mom told me that was really mean and unfair of me to 'exclude' him. That he should be offered the treat the same as the others. I explained he was 'offered' the same deal as the others, he just choose not to take me up on it. She then said if he doesn't like dinner, he simply gets whatever he wants instead(generally pb sandwich or Mac and cheese) and that he ALWAYS gets dessert. Even if he eats zero dinner. She's such a great parent in so many other respects but this seems so ridiculous. Especially when I can see such a difference in him compared to the others - sick very frequently, pale, dark circles under the eyes and constipated weekly. He has needed special medicine for this many times.

I'll try the food/sticker chart. Maybe it will work!!!

Fingers crossed!! This parent needs a bloody bollocking. Silly woman. This is totally her doing if this is what she does at home. If she isn't willing to work with you on this, she doesn't deserve you as a daycare provider. I know you say that she is a great parent in other ways but I don't care when she is so disrespectful to you and sabotaging all your hard work and effort that you pour into this kid. I can honestly say that this child may very well be a lost cause and I pray for his sake he grows more interested in nutritious foods as he gets older. In your shoes if he talked back to me I would discipline him, that kind of attitude is out of line. I also wouldn't include his mother on the goings on at daycare surrounding food. Her inclusion is clearly making things worse and in your shoes I wouldn't have any problem telling her to her face even if it cost me the spot, he can't be full time anyway right? If you are in Ontario he should be in full time school

busydaycarelady
03-27-2014, 03:34 PM
We are in alberta and he's in kindergarten, which here is 4 mornings/week. So, he's part time. It's just sheer laziness on moms part I think. She also doesn't seem to like confrontation of any sort, even tends to back down from her other 2 kids. He's part time but the other 2 are full time, so I try to keep them! But the did thing is, those 2 eat everything. And don't ever try to get special requests. They are also expected to eat family dinner at home, so I'm
Not sure why there's a difference between the 3. They've even complained to me that 'last night we ate stir fry and he got pb on toast'.

torontokids
03-27-2014, 04:44 PM
I just want to clarify that our "desert" is often fruit, yogurt or applesauce after their lunch.