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gravy_train
03-27-2014, 08:52 AM
So as part of my 'big rant' yesterday I referred to the 3 yo DCK I have who is major high energy, doesn't stop talking or singing or making noises all day, runs instead of walks, etc.
He has been ready(IMO) for months to be potty trained but I insisted that the parents keep him home and put in a consistent effort for 4-5 days before he could wear underwear. I stated that he had to be accident-free for at least 3 days before we could try at daycare.
Well, the first week was perfect - no accidents but also no pooping. At all. The child has a history of holding in his poop, creating impacted stool and I knew it would be an issue when we switched to underwear. he second week he pooped and/or peed in his pants every single day. We are on to week three now and it's the same, if not worse.
I am at a total loss as to what to do? I suggested yesterday that mom take him to the doctor to seek advice as I suspect his stool is impacted and he has no sense of when he has to go. She half-heartedly agreed and said, 'oh he'll get there'. Easy to say when you aren't the one cleaning up the mess every day.
I really think he is ready to be potty trained and want to help the family achieve this as much as possible but I'm at the end of my rope. I actually really raised my voice today because I asked him every 10 minutes or so if he had to go to the washroom and he said no. Next thing I know I smell poop and sure enough there it is.
UGH!!!
I am hesitant to put him back in diapers because he is totally ready but I really need the parents to step it up here.
Yesterday he peed in his pants before 8:30, pooped in his pants by 9:30, and then 5 minutes after we were outside he pooped in his pants again.
When I told mom she said, 'oh yeah, i put a diaper on him when we go outside."
I'm SO FED UP!!!

Reana
03-27-2014, 11:28 AM
Wow, I say if the parents aren't reinforcing at home, stick him in his diapers or pull-ups and go about your day. Trust me, you will feel better. You even said it yourself, "You are the one cleaning up his mess." He will be ready in due time and when parents are doing potty training at home consistently you will see the difference at daycare. Why stress yourself out when you don't have to.

Artsand crafts
03-27-2014, 11:43 AM
Parents should be the ones getting the child ready for school. I only support parents that are committed to do the potty training. Still, even if they potty train at home and are successful there, they still have to be dry here for 3 weeks before switching to underwear. If you think it would be a loss battle talking to them, I would buy my own diapers and put them on during daycare hours.

Give parents back their responsibility! relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

bright sparks
03-27-2014, 12:05 PM
He has been ready(IMO) for months to be potty trained...

...I really think he is ready to be potty trained and want to help the family achieve this as much as possible but I'm at the end of my rope. I actually really raised my voice today because I asked him every 10 minutes or so if he had to go to the washroom and he said no. Next thing I know I smell poop and sure enough there it is.
UGH!!!

...I am hesitant to put him back in diapers because he is totally ready but I really need the parents to step it up here.


These are all the times you have said in this post that you think he is ready to toilet train yet there is a huge indication that actually he isn't at all... highlighted in bold.

A child can be physically ready yet not mentally and vice versa. If he can not verbalize his need to go to the toilet, then he is not ready. It really is that simple even if every other indication proves that he is ready. Children need to be ready in all areas not just some. Obviously there are variations as some children learn quickly with some encouragement but its not like this kid learnt and then regressed which would be more common. I hazard a guess that the first week was a fluke. Another indicator that a child is ready, which I'm going to assume based on the info I have, correct me if I am wrong, but regular bowel movements. They are typically at the same time everyday if their are no changes in diet. Diet is something I also discuss with their parents so that we can try and get them toileting on a regular schedule to prevent incidents of messy clean up for everyone. The parents clearly aren't on board which likely plays a part but I don't think it is the sole issue. If there is any kind of special need this could also be part of the problem. I also think IMO that maybe leaving it to 3 has proved counter productive. I delay boys training to 2 1/2, no exceptions and have always seen much better results since doing so but to delay to much as been proven to have negative consequences. I know this is their child, but in my daycare as I am the one putting more hours into training, I call the shots on when training begins. If parents wont train at home in the same method as I do, then I tell them that by all means do it your way, but you need to take 3 weeks off work and dedicate yourself 100% to getting this done because otherwise it wont work. I do not toilet train in pull ups ever so for me the option of coming here in pull ups while they are in underwear at home is not on the cards. I would stop toilet training and tell parents he is not verbalizing his needs and until he does so you are not willing to toilet train. Also let the parents know that if you aren't all doing EXACTLY the same for toilet training it just makes it more difficult for their child to succeed and makes your job ten times harder. I make my expectations of them very clear prior to starting and clearly indicate that pull ups should only be used for naptime and night time. I also do not put them on for car journeys regardless of the length. If they can verbalize their needs they can ask to go and you keep a potty in the car and a big bottle of tap water to rinse out and they go at the side of the road. Accidents will happen but that's how they are supposed to learn. It might be a case of them being forced to do it it during the summer when you are on maternity leave because they are left with no other option. Some people just need to learn the hard way.

5 Little Monkeys
03-27-2014, 02:16 PM
I also would suggest not asking if he has to go and just sending him. When they are potty training, I do not ask. When they are full trained, I will ask and if they say no, that is fine as they know by then when they do and don't have to go.