Parents who try to make you feel guilty

[martymonty]

I send home my vacation schedule for the entire year, usually in March, this year I was a bit late as I was waiting for my husband to pick his time for work so we could at least spend some time together. I feel that this is super important as we run a business in our homes and it's always so noisey, busy etc. and our spouses are always there to support us. We are only taking one week together with a few days at other times. I've been doing daycare for 28+ years and take a total of 5 weeks and one day off and I do provide alternate care for approx. 5 of these days. Parents are always trying to make me feel guilty for taking time off with my family and I am stumped for a "good" response to them doing this. I always get, oh how many days are you taking this year (with emphasis on the "this) and how many days are you providing alternate care (which I really am not required to) etc. Do any of you dcp have this happen to you and how do you respond. I don't have any sick days, have never used a sick day (if I was doing it all over again, believe me I would) and I get grief every year when choosing my vacation time off. :(

[dodge__driver11]

We take care of children 40-60 hours per week, and these parents have holiday time away from there job so why shouldn't we? I do not feel the least bit guilty, about taking personal time away. As holiday prevents burn out meaning we can provide better care for their children.

[2cuteboys]

Is it in your contract? Do they pay for vacation days (to hold the spot)?

If it's in your contract that you take 5 weeks, then they can just deal with it. I'm sure you were upfront about it in the interview. Any other profession would have at least that much time off after 28 years, why not you? If they really start to give you grief, remind them of that.

I wouldn't be comfortable charging parents for more than 3 weeks vacation, so I would probably just increase monthly fees to accommodate, and then not 'charge' for vacation days over and above. Just my personal preference. That way parents feel a bit better about not having to pay all 5 weeks (even though they really are).

[martymonty]

I do tell each family when they come for an interview that I take 26-30 days off total over the course of the year, of which normally 5 or so days my daughters will offer to help watch those that may be stuck, AND I remind the parents that they are offering, this is not something they should rely on. I am only taking one full week of holidays this year and the other time off is a Thursday, Friday, week between xmas and new years, etc. I give the parents 2 weeks of unpaid vacation time as I only have one family that is full time right now, all others only come 3 or 4 days a week (most only 3) so I make sure that I am here for 3 days when taking my long weekends. I find that I accommodate them at a moments notice should they change their shifts, add a day, work late etc. I just find that I am constantly feeling like I need to defend the time off I need and deserve. It does start burning you out and this year seems to be the worst starting for sure. I want to nip this in the bud now so it does not cause any problems in the future.

[mickyc]

Do your parents pay for vacation days? I don't charge for days I am closed and would never ask a family to pay for days I am not working (stats are paid though). My contract doesn't specify how many days off I will take every year but I usually only take 10 days a year. Never really enough but I never seem to be able to save up enough money to take unpaid days. I say all the power to you if you can take 5 weeks a year! Oh how I wish I could.

[martymonty]

well if I was taking 5 full weeks off, that would be a different story, I couldn't afford that either, but I take a Thursday and Friday or a Monday and Tuesday so I am stull fulfilling my 3 days minimum I have with my daycare families. They get 2 full weeks unpaid at their discretion, could be what I have off or what they choose to have off. There are some dcp who take the summers off around here and seem to have no issues....others take 6 weeks at various times with only a couple months notice, I have one or two families who I think will always give me a hard time no matter what :(

[playfelt]

Many companies require employees to book complete weeks so they can't just take extra long weekends all summer. What it means if that is what you are planning to do that your families won't be able to take the same days as you.

[martymonty]

all my families have 3 - 5 weeks off, and they all only take two weeks altogether and then the other days are sporatic....been like this for years. almost all of them take what I do so that they get extra time off on a weekend as well....this one family works in a 24/7 operation so it doesn't always work out and her "extra" days she already took this year to go away both times, this is why she could potentially be stuck for a couple days....her husband said he can work around my schedule, but when she talks to me it's like she's trying to make me feel guilty for taking time off with my family.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't have a specific number of days I take but I do have in my contract that I will give 2 week's notice for my vacation or days off, but I usually give 3 months for vacation. There have only been a few times where I have only given a month and it was for specialist appointments. Thankfully, nobody has ever really said anything. I did have one mom who mentioned that putting her child into a centre dc would help them out because they wouldn't have to find alternate care for when staff went on holidays. That's understandable and I didn't take it a rude comment.

If I were you I would just politely say, "I have been doing this for 28 years and like any other job, I feel I deserve some holidays." The fact that you even answer them will likely shut them up.

I think parents who try to make us feel guilty are the ones who are perhaps jealous. I have always had parents (or at least one parent) who get paid sick days and holidays. I fully know that there are plenty of jobs that don't offer either but then hdc probably isn't the best choice for them.

[Secondtimearound]

Well I wouldn't let her get you down !!! You deserve the time with your family ! I would make your plans and don't let it bother you ! This is your business , if they understand you take holidays like that then I would plan away !!
She prob is trying to make you feel guilty but I wouldn't let her , you deserve the 5 weeks off working that long in your career .

[Momof4]

I take 3-4 weeks off every year without pay also. I budget and plan for it because I NEED it! I also tell the parents about my vcations at the interview, then I give them a letter at the beginning of the year listing all my vacation days. I have NEVER had anybody ask me any questions with this system.

If your client is being inconsiderate, just remind them that they were informed and walk away! Remember that old saying - Failure to plan on your part does not make it an emergency on my part.

[MonkeyPrincess]

I take 3-4 weeks off every year without pay also. I budget and plan for it because I NEED it! I also tell the parents about my vcations at the interview, then I give them a letter at the beginning of the year listing all my vacation days. I have NEVER had anybody ask me any questions with this system.

If your client is being inconsiderate, just remind them that they were informed and walk away! Remember that old saying - Failure to plan on your part does not make it an emergency on my part.

You know what stops daycare parents dead in their tracks? You just say 'well according to the contract that you read and signed, my vacation policy is.....' As well as 'well just like yourself and everyone else, I am entitled to my vacation, especially since I have been working just job for 28 yrs.'

[martymonty]

Thanks everyone for the positive comments, I have had positive responses from most of the other families so I am not going to let this one get me down :) HAPPY EASTER to everyone and enjoy your long weekend, that's always nice!! :D