Afternoon Nap: ADVICE PLEASE!

[Daycare123]

Hello Everyone!

I have a question about nap. I have an 11 1/2 month and a 11 month old in my care. The younger child screams when put down for nap-well they both do, but the older child quickly falls asleep. The younger child if she does fall asleep only sleeps for about 25 minutes- (the longest yet) unless she is being held-which is not an option.

I have separated the two-so they can have an easier time falling asleep-but I need some advice what do all of yo do to help the young ones get into a solid napping routine? Right now neither child is sleeping enough-not even close.

I have another young baby starting in November so I would like to have these two transitioned into nap by then :)

Thanks!

[playfelt]

What a lot of people forget is that naptime is really rest time and about having a break from the bustle of activity. That means the child stays in the designated place for the entire rest time whether they sleep or not. Over time they will get the hint that you are not coming back until a set time no matter how loudly they protest. Some will just sit and play and others will actually sleep. Limit nap to an hour or in this case maybe 45 minutes but do several nap periods over the day. ie shorter but more often. This is also done to teach the concept of you stay here and I come back later. The nap periods should get longer and more productive meaning you can cut it back to two regular ones. Learning to self-soothe isn't something you can teach other than giving them the time to figure it out for themselves. Going into the room frequently to try and settle the child defeats the purpose because all it does is teach the child to be dependent on you to come and rub their back rather than on the child learning what works for them, hugging the blanket, chewing the corner, sucking their thumb, whatever.

[KingstonMom]

I agree, you have to leave the child in the napping place until 'nap time' is over. They will eventually get it.
Im trying to think, if at 11 months, if they would normally have one or two naps a day. If you want to give two naps, put them each down after a snack or bottle for an hour to an hour and a half in the morning, then again in the afternoon. Stick with setting a strong schedule. Put them down the same time everyday if possible.
Here I have young ones, (17 mos) and they all go down for one nap for 2.5 hrs and naptime is right after lunch. The know when naptime is coming and they all fall asleep without a peep.
I have been watching them since they were 12 months and since then we more or less stuck with one long nap each day right after lunch.
It may have took 1-2 weeks for my full timer to get the idea and go down without protest, and maybe 3 weeks for my part-timer to 'get-it'.
It is your responsibility to not give in and leave them be to cry-it-out. They WILL eventually learn to sleep on their own, and they will be much happier and healthier because of it.

[mlc1982]

I'm pretty much going to answer the same as above! I had this problem when I had two little guys start (12 months.) They were barely getting any sleep. They were cranky. I was cranky. I even tried a few different things with set up. Eventually I just let them cry it out in the same room. One learned to fall asleep before the other but had no problem blocking the crying out. Now, they both go down right after lunch, will each talk or laugh or do whatever for a few minutes and then eventually fall asleep. They are in there until 3:00 whether they fall asleep at 2 or wake up at 1:30 ...they know they aren't getting out! It's tough at first but like anything, it's gets easier.

[Daycare123]

Thanks everyone. My full-timer is on two naps-gets up early. Her morning nap is very short. So the both of them are basically down to one proper nap. I do not go into the room while they are awake-as I have learned over the years of nannying and working in centres that this is counter-productive. I just needed to be reassured that letting them cry-it-out is pretty standard.

Thank you!

[mom-in-alberta]

I would say that is standard. We as providers don't have the luxury (most of the time) of doing a gradual sleep lesson. I think that you are doing the right thing.
Routine, routine, routine; seems to be the best thing for kids learning to self soothe. Putting them down at the same time daily (whether for one nap or two) and either waking them up or allowing them to be "done" at a certain time.

[lilac]

Ok so I just want to kinda confirm I guess what you do for naps. I have a 16m old who I have had since she was 9m. Still cries when I put her down for a nap (that is getting better, shorter) but she only sleeps 45mins to an hour, and then wakes up screaming bloody murder. My own kids always slept 2 hrs solid, if not more.And any other child I've looked after that naps sleeps this long as well. I think she needs more than that and if I give her a morning nap, that lasts 1/2 hr and she wont go at all for the afternoon nap.

SO, do I leave her for the 1/2 or 2hrs that I want her to nap and let her cry? Will she eventually sleep for this duration? or at least not scream? or is this just gonna be the way it is?

[playfelt]

I would spend a week just leaving her there to cry and see if it gets any better. Most kids come to care used to mom going to get them as soon as they so much as whimper. If she is still tired she should eventually roll over and go back to sleep - if she does and is still asleep at the wake up time leave her be as long as you can so she gets a proper nap which should help with a better evening and eventually days for you. Just because a child cries doesn't mean they get up. The fact she is protesting that loudly says to me she is mad more than she needs anything. When she figures out the protests serve no useful purpose you should see them diminish. Again she needs to learn to roll over and go back to sleep if she wakes too early, or to lay quietly and rest or look at the pattern on her blanket. Having said that make sure that her space is pretty with a fancy blanket, sheets, etc so there is stuff worth looking at but not a toy she can play with instead of sleeping.

[horsegirl]

I agree with everyone children have to learn to comfort themselves and not rely on us to do so. If they do not learn this it is going to be a rough time for them as they grow up and attend school.
A child will cry, as you said Playfelt, when they are mad or frustrated. I have noticed how parenting ideas have changed over the years. I believe parents are now feeling guilty for leaving their child at childcare and will do anything to make them happy. Some parents are trying so hard to be friends with their children and make sure that they like them, instead of setting boundaries they are spoiling them.:no:

[mom-in-alberta]

I have a little guy who was just like that, at first. Had not yet learned to put himself to sleep (we did let him cry it out) and then when he was asleep, would wake after 30-40 min but still be exhausted. I talked to mom, who says "oh, he's just not a sleeper". Seemed to me that he was just being picked up out of bed at the smallest squawk. So again, I just allowed him to calm himself, and sure enough he learned to put himself back to sleep.
Worked for us, hope it works for you.

[daycare woman]

I also have one that is crying right now put her to bed at 12:15 and now crying at 1:00. I am not a happy camper this wakes everyone. Well maybe not but close. It just bugs me! I know it shouldn't and the funny thing is I have been doing this for quite a few years and I've always had great sleepers till now. The other one who is under 2 only sleeps maybe a tad over an hour and screams and cries the rest of the time. So I have the screamers upstairs, so who cares if they wake each other up I guess. I just feel really bad and the other one who is currently crying is just a tad over 1. Annoying!
I've had 2 parents suggest that maybe their over 2 and a half year olds not sleep. Are you kidding me! Not going to happen! I said to my husband the day 2 year olds stop napping is the day I quit daycare!

[mothergoose]

I agree with the earlier posts about routine and letting the child cry it out for a little bit. Just wondering how much physical activity do the children get. I find with mine if the weather is great and we go for a walk and play in the park they are more likely to go down for a longer nap and with less fuss. If it was a rainy day or winter time and no physical activity was had then I find nap times are less and pushed further into the day. Good Luck it's tough when children are cranky from being tired and it takes a toll on your health and well being.

[lilac]

At the moment, if we have nice weather, we still go outside in the morning, precisly to keep her busy and help her one get a good sleep. I've discovered that I cannot take her in the van very far b/c she falls alseep on the way home and ruins the afternoon nap. Even today we put our raincoats and boots on and toddled around outside checking out the worms etc....

all week, I have been leaving her when she wakes up, I do go and check if she has pooped, usually she does it in the morning, but if she doesnt, then thats part of why she wakes in the afternoon I think. So I go up and check, change right there in the room if she needs it, and put her back down, and its hit or miss whether she goes back to sleep or not, but one thing is for sure, she screams for me... she'll stop to listen to see if I'm coming, but then continues. Part of the problem I guess is me going up to check but i know if she does have a poop, there is no way she will go back to sleep, and I wouldnt let her anyways.

Luckily, I've noticed, that my other napper seems to have adjusted to the screaming, and is still asleep when I go to get her to do the school run.

But seriously, its grating and stressful when you have to listen to it... knowing you are trying to teach them something, but feeling awful that they are crying.

[playfelt]

Unless she is the type of child that can't tolerate a poopy bum then I would be leaving her. It is only for the hour and you going in and getting her up and putting her back down sends a mixed messsage. Kids sleep 10 hours overnight and poop at some point and wake up that way in the morning. For most kids they can finish their nap without adverse results.