How long to adjust to the center???

[chenderson]

Hi,

I have a little 12 month old who started with me a few weeks ago and is having a really hard time. Not sure if it is an adjustment issue or other issue I have yet to solve. He fusses/whines/cries unless he is being held or napping. His parents mentioned to me he has been a fussy guy since day 1 and does tend to whine a lot, but this seems excessive to me. I make sure he is well slept (he naps REALLY well), he is fed, his diaper is clean and make sure he has interesting things to do (plus there are other children present which you would think would distract him as well) but he just seems generally unhappy 85% of the time. He is not yet mobile either.

I obviously need to ensure that I can provide great care to all of the children in my home and seeing as I am only one person, I need to make sure that one child is not demanding my attention the majority of the time. I also need to ensure that the "fit" is right and that the personalities of the children work well together. Obviously everyone has their off days and some days some children need more one-to-one time than others, but I am concerned and after the past few weeks just feel that I'm not the best option.

So my question is how long would you say it takes most babies to adjust to your daycare? Obviously everyone is different and such but do you feel that 2 weeks is a good average, or 3 or 4? I've never encountered this before and have always been blessed with happy babies so he is worrying me a bit.

Thanks for reading. :)

[pink]

That is a good question. I have a new baby that cries all the time. She naps a total of 1 hour. I took her out of the daycare yesterday for napping. She is disturbing everyone. I will see how she does in the next couple of weeks. I have a feeling she is not a fit.

[Lee-Bee]

Are you rewarding the whining?

I try to make a point of waiting until they are calm and quiet before picking them up so they learn that they get more attention that way. If they are being really whiny I play nearby with the other kids. I try to have lots of fun so they see what they are missing and I wait until they have calmed before interacting. It sucks to tune them out when they are upset but it really does cut the amount of crying and by cutting the amount of crying you make the process all the smoother for the child as they start to calm and interact with the daycare and start to explore and have fun rather than sitting and whining to get picked up.

If is he fussy at home and they respond he may not know any other way to act when he wants some attention...you need to retrain him. In group care things are just different. Most children do pick up on this quickly if you are consistent.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I find 2 weeks usually seems to be the "magic" number. Sometimes less, sometimes more though depending on the child. As long as I see improvement each week it doesn't concern me too much. If it's been a month and no change, I would likely consider terminating. Just as adults don't always get along, sometimes kids just aren't the right fit for our daycare.

I usually take a day or two to get to know the child and than it's right into our normal routine after that and I cut any habits that need be....holding all the time, having to have a blanky, sleep patterns etc. The quicker they know what the routine is the better IME.

Good luck! We have all been there :) One of the only things I hate about this job is transition periods lol. I was spoiled with my first handfuls of kids but the last couple haven't been as great so I feel your pain! lol

[Busy ECE mommy]

Some kids take longer to adjust, but I would think that a month(assuming full-time) would be plenty. Only you know what you can handle and how disruptive it is to the rest of the group.
Even when we "give it our all", sometimes it's not a good fit. Keep your options open.

[Crayola kiddies]

Sounds to me like he is carried around ...... Perhaps his parents are APers and he's being worn .... Maybe find out about how things works at home....

[chenderson]

Thanks ladies. So appreciated.

As Lee-Bee said, I do my best to not reward the behaviour and sit with him and the other children and interact and do fun things, but once he starts to fuss it is a fast downfall into a full cry. If I do not pick him up and comfort him, nothing else seems to distract him sadly. Even the other children and they REALLY try to help him feel better. I can tune him out personally but the other kids just can't anymore it seems. Even my other little one is more clingy when he is around and he is super independent otherwise. I too agree that it kinda seems to be a learned behaviour and that not picking him up at all so he learns the "daycare rules" would be lovely, but I just cannot listen to him be so sad all day long (he is very baby-like in other attributes too) and considering he doesn't crawl or move about himself he needs me to physically do it all for him to a degree.

Either way, I too feel that even though it has only been 3 weeks (F/T) it has also not improved at all. It has effectively gotten somewhat worse and even though I feel awful as the family is just so lovely, he is just not a good fit. :(

Thanks again for your feedback. It is so appreciated and helps me feel a little less like I'm not seeing it right.

:)

[Lee-Bee]

Thanks ladies. So appreciated.

As Lee-Bee said, I do my best to not reward the behaviour and sit with him and the other children and interact and do fun things, but once he starts to fuss it is a fast downfall into a full cry. If I do not pick him up and comfort him, nothing else seems to distract him sadly. Even the other children and they REALLY try to help him feel better. I can tune him out personally but the other kids just can't anymore it seems. Even my other little one is more clingy when he is around and he is super independent otherwise. I too agree that it kinda seems to be a learned behaviour and that not picking him up at all so he learns the "daycare rules" would be lovely, but I just cannot listen to him be so sad all day long (he is very baby-like in other attributes too) and considering he doesn't crawl or move about himself he needs me to physically do it all for him to a degree.

Either way, I too feel that even though it has only been 3 weeks (F/T) it has also not improved at all. It has effectively gotten somewhat worse and even though I feel awful as the family is just so lovely, he is just not a good fit. :(

Thanks again for your feedback. It is so appreciated and helps me feel a little less like I'm not seeing it right.

:)

It sounds like you gave it your all. You need to look out for the needs of your group as a whole. Some children just do better with a nanny or with a different home daycare, for what ever reason. You do no one any good by dragging it on forever if you truly feel he is not a good fit.