PDA

View Full Version : Three year old won't leave her mom or dad



superfun
06-20-2014, 09:58 AM
I need some advice please. I've accepted some summer kids until my regular ones come back in September. It has been such a pain, I'm tempted to change my teacher policy for next summer. However, that's not the point of this thread.
One of the families I accepted has a one year old boy and his older sister. The boy looks like he'll transition fine, but the older girl wouldn't leave her parents at all during the interview. She clearly wanted to play but she wouldn't. I wasn't too worried at that point, but when they were leaving (on their way to swimming lessons) I said "have fun at swimming!" The dad replied "she won't. She won't even get into the pool without us"
So now I'm worried. I've had really easy transitions with all my one year olds and two year olds. I've never had a three year old start. And I guess I've never had a kid this shy either. Any tips?

Dreamalittledream
06-20-2014, 10:06 AM
Oh dear...my advice...try not to let the parents stay too long. In my experience, at that age (like ripping off a bandaid); no amount of transition or parents prolonging drop off (which will happen) will help. She will just need to adjust in her own way; with a little love and lots of patience:)

superfun
06-20-2014, 01:53 PM
Thank you. I'll make sure to tell them to make it quick. I was thinking of asking them beforehand what her favourite kind of toy is, and then I could make sure to have it out and available for her in case she decides she's ready to play. Any idea how long a three year old might be upset for? What is a normal amount of time to expect?

AmandaKDT
06-21-2014, 02:26 PM
Thank you. I'll make sure to tell them to make it quick. I was thinking of asking them beforehand what her favourite kind of toy is, and then I could make sure to have it out and available for her in case she decides she's ready to play. Any idea how long a three year old might be upset for? What is a normal amount of time to expect?

I have found if you keep them busy they were okay pretty fast at that age, though one 3 year old girl I had last year was very clingy with her mom and had a tough time at quiet time as there were no distractions. She was only with me for about two weeks (they left for reasons that had nothing to do with me), but she cried histerically at nap time everyday. So I guess the transition time is about the same no matter how old they are. She was a sweet girl, but I can't say I was sad that she left as it was very draining.

Dreamalittledream
06-21-2014, 03:58 PM
What is a normal amount of time to expect?
Gosh I wish I could advise; they're all so different! I would expect at that age about a week. But so hard to speculate. Praying for even quicker for you:). Perhaps a comfort item from home?

Dreamalittledream
06-21-2014, 04:03 PM
Oh and wanted to add...be sure and communicate with her...I myself have a tent, with a huge teddy bear in it...it's my quiet zone...they can take a book in, just a great spot for them to be alone. I have a 3 year old (I've had her since 11 months old) suddenly developed separation anxiety from Mom. She has a blankie that I keep for her and for a week I would sit her down and say "It's okay to be sad, how about you take blankie in the tent and come out when you feel better". She also has anger issues; tent works great for her to diffuse as well. For the separation it only took the week and she was back to normal. That, of course, was backed up by quick drop and run by Mom as well.

Lou
06-22-2014, 06:14 PM
She will be sad, no doubt, and their thinking is so much more complex at that age so she will probably dwell on it and even TRY to dwell on it. Distract her the best that you can, doing super fun preschooler activities and she should come around within 2 weeks. I did have an almost 5 yrs old girl that never did transition in though...she cried all day every day, and while I was empathetic and supportive it did get on my nerves big time because I felt she was too old for this ongoing behaviour. I terminated after 2 months of incessant crying and moping around :( Hopefully, this isn't the case for you!