View Full Version : Oh WHY did I say YES!!?
My 2 weeks holidays are coming up later next week (thank the LORD!). Going away with hubby for a few days then hanging around home for the remainder of the time. Anyways, a few weeks ago, one set of dcp asked if I would be willing to take their boy for 3 days during the last few days of my holidays as she's having a baby (c-section) and would like the time to recover. I was put on the spot and agreed to do it, but now I'm thinking that was the dumbest move ever! So my question to you all, would it be absolutely horrible of me to go back on that and say sorry, but I need my vacation? I've been having a real hard time lately emotionally and really really need the time off...for my health and happiness. I understand that she needs time to recover from a c-section, but she had the baby yesterday and she's got family and her husband there to help her and keep her little boy busy. My husband as well as many friends (including another set of dcp) think it was NUTS of them to even ask such a thing of me during my holidays.....but is it too late to go back and get my vacation back!!?? Thanks in advance, ladies.
2cuteboys
06-25-2014, 08:38 AM
Oooh! Tricky situation! I agree, they shouldn't have asked you in the first place.
Since they only arranged it a few weeks ago, I'd say you'd be ok to ask for it back. They'll probably be upset, but it's not like they arranged it months ago. If you can, maybe try to find someone who could do backup for them for a few days? I've seen providers post ads on kijiji looking for some back-up provider. It would still be up to the parent to meet up with them and see their place, but at least it would show you trying to help.
Thanks, 2cuteboys. I often say....I love having my own business, but I'm not a business lady!! Meaning, I'm just too damn nice and soft! LOL
Fun&care
06-25-2014, 08:48 AM
I think it was quite selfish of them to ask you in the first place. I think you definitely have every right to go back on your decision but definitely want to think things through moving forward. Be careful because parents will be quick to take advantage of you if you don't have a backbone!
Yes, I agree. Now that I've had a few days to really think about, I too am like...how can they ask me that!!? Yes, I do need to grow a backbone!! My hubby tells me that all the time!
Lee-Bee
06-25-2014, 09:05 AM
In the future your answer to EVERY request should be "let me think about it and get back to you in a a few days". It takes the pressure off, allows you to fully think it through and should you feel pressured you can respond by email or at least pull together your reasoning to stand your ground in person :-)
So often we, as caring caregivers, can get sucked into something that isn't best for us becaus we are trying to be too helpful. BY sayign you will think about it and respond later allows you to think about your best interests first.
mickyc
06-25-2014, 09:13 AM
OMG! Unreal. I can't believe they asked you and I can't believe you said YES LOL.
If you don't feel comfortable saying No now then lie about it. Say something has come up and you will no longer be able to watch their son on your holidays. They don't need to know what you are doing on your holidays. They will likely be upset but too bad. They have family out right now and they can rely on them. Do it ASAP though so they have some time to make arrangements.
LOL...I was warned that I'd get reamed out for saying yes! LOL I was thinking the same thing about making something up. I'm taking a quick look to see if there are any daycare's in the Orleans area that will do temporary care for them so I can provide them with that alternative.
mickyc
06-25-2014, 09:31 AM
Don't feel bad FSD I know how you feel being put on the spot and not sure what to do. When I first started my daycare I had a friend who ran a home daycare help me get started. The first part of advice she gave me was "People will screw you over the first chance they get, don't let them". She was right unfortunately. I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way over the past 4 years but I am putting myself and my family first, it has taken time but I think I am there!
If you have to lie about it then so be it. Don't worry about them being mad, they will get over it. Don't worry about finding them alternative care either, that is their responsibility not yours! Enjoy your holidays guilt free too!! You will be a better provider because of it. I have 5 days in a row coming up and I cannot wait!
Thanks so much, mickyc! I've been open for a 1 1/2 years now and this is the first time that a parent have taken advantage of me, and I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again (fingers crossed)!! I'm going to call them tonight, congratulate them on the new baby, then break the news. My family, and my sanity, HAS to come first! Just wish I recognized that before. Oh, the lessons we learn.....
mickyc
06-25-2014, 09:44 AM
Good for you! Good luck. Don't forget though that if they are ticked enough and end up pulling their child out then they are the type of family who will continue to try and use you in the future so don't be too upset (although I am sure they won't leave but you never know - people can be funny sometimes!).
I will let you all know how it turns out!! I too don't think they'll pull out, but yeah, you just never know.....
MsBell
06-25-2014, 10:06 AM
I wouldn't do it FSD!! I totally understand that you said yes, I did too once. This DCP asked me during my summer holidays, if I would still take her boy because she didnt have any back up. I agreed (stupid me) Well the one day he didn't come until lunch time anyways (noon) so in the morning I took my kids to the pet store to get them some fish for their bedrooms. we got back home just before 11, and she was waiting in the driveway. I said "I don't remember you telling me you needed to bring him earlier?" and she said "Oh I didn't but I have a lunch date with a friend" which did not impress me, then she picked up about a half hour early and I comented that she got off early? (hubby usally picked up those days) and she said "Oh no, I didn't work today I went out for lunch with a girlfriend"....Nice! NOT! I will never do it again, and if someone wanted to try to feed me a said story, I will tell them that charge double rates if I work on my vacation days (and if you charge for your vacation days off, make it triple!) Honestly it is really disrepectful
that they would even ask!
mickyc
06-25-2014, 10:23 AM
Ha ha, good idea - if it happens next time say I charge $100 a day (or whatever total you want) to work on my holiday time. That will shut them up lol
sandylynn
06-25-2014, 03:10 PM
Have to agree....'WHO WOULD ASK THEIR DAYCARE PROVIDER TO WATCH THEIR CHILD....KNOWING FULL WELL IT'S YOUR VACATION TIME'....am I missing something? I don't even get it!!! I have been put on the spot for other requests before and kicked myself after but honestly....I can't figure where this lady is even coming from
OK...so I just got off the phone with dad and explained to him how I really needed my vacation time, offered him a couple names of some daycare providers in the area who are willing to take their LO for those days, and it went well! I could hear a bit of disappointment in his voice, but he was good. Phew....
mickyc
06-26-2014, 09:38 AM
Awesome!! So glad it worked out well
So she had the baby a few days ago, but asked you for care at the end of your vacation in 2.5 weeks? Surely the hardest part of her recovery will be over by then. That doesn't even make any sense.
I'd decline as well.
Sorry...I just read that it got sorted. Good for you!!